Marriage After Graduation!!

[Shelly]

Hello my name is Shelly and i have so many questions about getting married. Today i got a 20 min phone call from my Fiance. We were planning on getting married after he was finished with his 2 weeks in A school, but in the call he wants to get married on his graduation day! I asked him if it was going to be okay because i know the navy frowns upon that happening but he said they can't stop him. So of course now i am left to figuring out how to go about all this. I live in California. 6 states away from Illinois. If there is someone out there that has been through this can you please help me out. I know that i have to get a licenses before we can get married and then we have to wait 24 hours but we dont have 24 hours. I only have 3 weeks. And i am stressing out Haha.

Anything will Help

Thanks

[Shelly]

agreed. the thing is both our families are on board and want us to get married that day. so yeah haha i have no clue what i am going to do.

[Kyla-PIR Oct 5, Ship 11, DIV 320]

Same! His schooling is 5 months long too so we REALLY don't want to wait and just have me move out. Plan b would be to wait till after school because they get like 15 days of leave to go back home. 

[Jenn_NicksWifey]

Once he's at A School, he can ask his CO for permission.  Based on my husband's experience at the A School in Great Lakes, I think they would approve it.  He should keep his nose clean, stay out of trouble, do well on inspections, get good grades and get through the liberty phases as fast as possible.  Plan for a weekend that he doesn't have duty and go there that weekend and get married.  At Great Lakes, it takes about 6 weeks to get to Phase 3 liberty, which is when you get to stay overnight off-base (you definitely want him to be able to do that for your wedding night). 

My husband was able to get permission to go beyond the mileage limits (during phase 1), stay overnight (during phase 2) and drive a car (now in phase 3).  He simply told the 2nd Class Petty Officer what he wanted to be allowed to do and asked how to earn the privilege.  Then he followed through and she followed up on her end. 

It doesn't have to be an all or nothing kind of thing, doing it PIR weekend or waiting until after he's done with school.  Distance and travel costs are obviously going to be a factor. 

[Kyla-PIR Oct 5, Ship 11, DIV 320]

Those all sounds like good things. My biggest fear and his, is him getting super busy and then having to delaying it even longer. We've already pushed it back a year. I think i would prefer after A school when he gets leave so we could have a chance at a more formal wedding but again i just don't want to wait to long and then wait even longer. 

[abuon18]

Even though your boyfriends say they don't care who they piss off-trust me they will once they have to face the consequences. And do you really want to be the reason he starts his career off on the wrong foot? I get the excitement of wanting to be married and soon (I was there too!) but there are more important issues to be concerned with and as their girlfriends you should be encouraging them to do things the right way. Trust me it will be better for everyone in the long run.

[Le Shelby]

I know marriage is exciting but seriously girls, rushing things wont make things any better, and youre fiance wont just get anyone "mad" at him, they could delay his training, kick him out of his rate for not following orders, etc. its not a good idea. And dont you want more than 8 hours (what youll get friday to spend with him from after pir until he has to go back) to spend with your new husbands? I know waiting sucks, (im waiting 2 years because of a deployment next year) but rushing things wont make you feel better an might wven depress you if you get married and have to say goodbye immediately after. Not to mention how much trouble your sailor could get in.

[Anti M]

Straight answer here: what can they do?  Used to be very little.  Now, when the sailors are briefed about the PIR weekend liberty rules, they sign a form which goes into their service record stating they will understand and will comply with the rules.  That form allows the Navy to take them to Captain's Mast for infractions.  Not for getting married... for breaking the PIR weekend liberty rule about not getting married.  A minor detail, but one which could stick legally.  That could be loss of their school, pay, paygrade and possibly placed on restriction.  Tossed out at worst.  It is posted waaaay back in the comments.

That hasn't happened yet that I know of, but it could.   

If you two make the decision to risk it, you can hustle and get a license on Friday, and arrange for the vows on Saturday.  Takes planning.  I only would encourage this if you are pregnant or already have a child with him. Otherwise, wait.

If his school is that short, he could have orders in hand before graduation.  In your case rushing the marriage does very little productively.  You won't be moved by the Navy.  Wait until after A school.  Also, boot camp is an emotional pressure cooker.  No one should make major life decisions under that type of mental fatigue.  Oh, he loves you and wants to marry you, but he's in a "right now" state of mind.  Don't take advantage of that, let him graduate, mellow out, and think consequences of disobeying an order, not loneliness and missing you.  If anything goes wrong later, he'll throw the rushed marriage in your face.

You'll be fine.  

[Angie]

WOW....what a way to start a life in the military "what can they do to me"!  Sounds like he is going to make a great Sailor in the Navy...going against the rules before he is even a Sailor. 

What does getting married during PIR weekend do?  Except get him in trouble?  Nothing!  They won't pay to move you to the "A" School if it is long enough as he already has his orders....getting married the right way (by waiting tell he gets to "A" School and get approval) will get things done the correct way and they will assist and give him time to get all the paper work in, showing you are his wife and get you the benefits in a timely manner. 

But you go ahead and try to get married during PIR weekend, I will bet odds that after he gets the liberty briefs he will change his mind. 

If his school is out of state, he will fly out on Sat am....not enough time to get the liences.  And if he is staying in Great Lakes for school...he will move over the same day and wont be given liberty until about 3-6 hours after PIR ends.  Not enough time to get the license. 

Also the court house to get a license is only open until 4pm on Friday, which means it closes right before those who are staying in Great Lakes for "A" School are allowed on liberty.  and both of you have to be there to get a license.

I don't think it is by chance that they don't liberty until it is too late for them to get a license.

If you are going to join the Navy family learn NOW that it is best to do things the Navy way! 

I know I wouldn't want to get married to only have my new husband have to go back to base a few hours latter, and I couldn't even spend the night with him as he couldn't have overnight liberty. In case you didn't know, they are required to be back on base in the barracks by a certain time ever night. 

[Le Shelby]

You both keep saying you dont want to wait "too long", if your boyfriends werent in boot camp, would you still want to just go to the court house and that be it? I agree with antim, she said it best..unlss youre pregnant or have a child already, theres no need to rush things. You wanna talk about delaying things? My fiance proposed to be when i went to visit him in A school, all through the rest of his A school and C school, we planned for a summer wedding next year and started picking things out, etc...then he got his orders and surprise! Deployment next year. So we pushed it back another year instead of rushing into things and getting ourselves stressed planning a wedding and a deployment. A few months of weeks will not kill you lol. And please think of your sailors above all else! There was nothing more than we wanted sometimes than to just skype during A school, but i told him to get off the computer and study for his tests so he wouldnt fail and get pushed back. Do you want your sailors to get delayed in coming home? Probably not . Even if breaking the rules is what they want, its not for the best. Youre becoming a part of the navy family so you better learn this phrase quick; "hurry up and wait!"