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Marriage Question
Question for those of you who went in as girlfriends and now are married. My boyfriend is at bootcamp now. We both know that marriage is the end game, we didn't get married before he left but we are for sure planning on it. Would it be more beneficial and less complicated to get married after "A" school or does it really matter? I'm just looking for some advice because my head is spinning on this one and I don't want to not be able to live together when we can. I have 16 months left of school, so I can't move until next August (2018) however- my really big concern is if he gets stationed over seas and such. Thank you in advanced!
Views: 220
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by navyfiance1228 on
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My fiance is currently in A school right now and we are getting married in June in Pensacola. He had to talk to his chain of command ( tried to talk him out of it due to hardships of deployment but we have been together close to 6 years and started long distance so not really bothered by it) but eventually got approval. His command just mentioned to get approval to leave base to go to the court then for me to stay another day in Florida to do paperwork.
It is completely up to both of you when it comes to when you get married there are definitely some pros to getting married prior to him getting his official orders. I am a newbie to all these aspects as well but this is just what I have been told :)
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Permalink Reply by SarahF92 on
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Thank you so much! He's going to Pensacola for A school after boot camp. We've been long distance our whole relationship so being apart is nothing new to us either. I'm just trying to get an idea of everything and all the different approvals and such. Especially if he's deployed or something then it just post pones it even longer.
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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The main reasons to marry during A school would be for healthcare, to be on the orders for the move, and to collect BAH. BAH is actually a big chunk of change. Yes, it is true that a married first term sailor is less likely to receive overseas orders, but that is not 100%. Certainly not true for the Master at Arms rating, as they all do an overseas tour at some time. You are correct to be concerned about those overseas orders, spouses cannot go if the sponsor is not an E-4.
Since you won't be moving right away, marrying while he is home on leave after school is an option if you have everything else covered. It is less complicated because you don't have to go to him, and he won't need a special request chit, and potentially taking a course or counseling session (him, not you). Waiting can be complicated because his command will not be expecting a married sailor, will not have made arrangements for him to check you in and do the house hunting leave thing, and the move will be on your own dime.
I am a proponent of "if you're going to do it, sooner is better than later". Some say wait until after a deployment, but I figure couples will do what they want, it will work out or not.
Will getting married affect your tuition/schooling? Not looking for an answer, just throwing that out there.
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No I already talked to the financial aid department and since I am 24 and already considered independent it won't affect anything. So on my end nothing changes. Everything that is up in the air is on his end.
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Permalink Reply by Allison on
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I actually joined this site over a year ago for this question, only my husband and I were already engaged, but we couldn't get married before bootcamp without effecting his security clearance (I was living abroad), and delaying his ship date to redo that 130 pages of paperwork lol. I am with AntiM that sooner is usually better than later with the Navy, just to get those benefits rolling, get on his orders, start building your network, all that fun stuff, but there is also a lot of factors to consider in the when and how, so I'll just share a list, and let you use that to go over the details with your boyfriend...although I recommend waiting until PIR weekend at the earliest to discuss them, I made the mistake of talking about moving our date up into A School with my husband, and he was so stressed about me and taking care of us when he should have been focused on bootcamp. Anyway, stay tuned for my list, it will be a more general version of the one I made for us when we were in this situation, some may apply to you guys, some may not.
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Thank you so much! I really appreciate the help. He mentioned on the phone when I got to talk to him sunday that we are def. getting married which is nice to hear, but I don't want to write him letters about it and stress him out on when. We can have that talk for sure at PIR weekend.
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