My boyfriend left for boot camp on 10/24...I am having a REALLY hard time :(

[Carrie19]

Hi!

My boyfriend just left for boot camp on 10/24, and I am missing him so much!  As soon as I wake up, I remember where he is at and that I won't hear from him in a long time.  I am so used to being in constant communication with each other so this is hitting me really hard.  I miss him so much it hurts!  Getting through the day right now without crying a lot is a pretty big challenge. Not being able to see him or talk to him is difficult.

 

I am so proud and excited for him, but I miss him more than anything!  Does anyone have any advice on how to get through these next 8 weeks?  I am staying really busy with pursuing my career goals, etc. but I feel like a HUGE part of my world has been stripped away.  I wrote him my first letter last night and will send it as soon as I get his address.  Any advice would be helpful!  Thanks!

[Anti M]

I'll use you. 

Your sailor is named eric, he is in Division 030 ship 12.  Now I don't know how many Erics with a GF named Meagan there are in that division on that ship, but if I were the RDC and knew one of them were breaking the rules (for example, writing letters at night when they are NOT supposed to be doing do), I'd drill the whole division until he spoke up and took his punishment.  All the others who lost their writing privileges over one guy would make sure he spoke up.  

 

It isn't that difficult to figure out.  (I used to have a Top Secret and was in crypto, I've had the anti-espionage training which lets us think like a bad guy gathering information)

 

Also, your personal page is not set to private, so I know the state and city you live in.  With a little research, I bet I could find your home address.  I won't, but there are scary and dishonest people out there who could.

[meaganeric-02/11/11]

Eric hasn't written me any letters yet, so he definitely hasn't written any at night, and I know that he takes the RTC Maxim very seriously, and he would never do anything to jeapordize his unit and their privleges. My profile isn't set to private because I am very proud of my SR, and I want everyone to read our story if they want to, and I don't see any reason why his Drill Sargeant would find something wrong with anything that I've posted.Also, it was reccommended by this site to add the ship/division number into my username, so I can connect with others who have loved ones in the same division as my fiance. And most of the other ladies on here have their home town, (which by the way is my HOMEtown, I'm studying somewhere across the state for college)...Just don't see why this is even an issue?

[Anti M]

Okay, I didn't say it was YOUR SR, I was just using your info as an example.   Someone else did say their SR was doing that.  Just take a deep breath!  

 

Why is it important to safeguard your personal information?  Because Al Queada has put out an announcement that if they cannot attack military members, they will go for their family members.  You have no idea how much info is right here for the taking.  It took me two seconds to figure that out.  Nothing much in my hands, but if I keep track, as a bad guy would do, I assure you your sharing of information would eventually lead to knowing what  he's doing and where.  Develop the security habits early.

Now I understand pride, I'm very proud of my two sailors, but they have asked I not share ANYTHING much at all.  Oh, you can find their rates and perhaps where they are stationed if you comb my posts, but you won't find their names.   

Personal security is very important to the Armed Forces, for the families as well as the service members.  You are taking a lot of good will for granted when you open up a personal page for the entire world to read.  

Your sailor is new to all this, he hasn't had the anti-terrorism training yet.  It will scare the pants off of most people.  

http://www.milspouse.com/opsec-and-persec.aspx

[meagan5220]

On the same note as Anti M, my husbands ship has had some issues with OPSEC. On an underway we even had a wife post on facebook.. such and such ship will be home in 7 days. (thats not from now. It was just back when it happened.) A lot of wives freaked out other wives were like I dont know why you are all freaking out its stupid etc. It turned into a huge blowout but A) When the ship found out the dept where the husband of the wife that had posted that was reamed a new one. and we got told as spouses that it would push back a deployment. Like to the point where you are standing there waiting on the pier for a homecoming and the ship just wont pull in that day and it wont until they feel like it. B) as wives we were told abt a wife in Virginia Beach and she had posted on fb that she was home alone, and another sailor that had just come back from Deployment that was moving into her apt building came down and asked her if her husband would help him move a couch she told him he was deployed and he came down later that night and killed her. Honestly, that was really scary. Bc it wasnt even someone that anyone would think she would be worried abt! She thought it was another sailor and it would be no big deal saying he was deployed, so you never know who is using what information to hurt you. Just be super careful.

 

Also, after the USS Cole was attacked they found out later that family members were releasing little pieces of info from emails they were getting from their sailors to the media. All those pieces of info could have helped them in their attack. And I have been super nice to the other wives on my husbands ship but after the above mentioned event I freaked. My Dad helped clean up the USS Cole when it got back to the US, it was months later and he STILL was finding body parts and their was blood everywhere. I know that it might not seem like a big deal and we arent trying to jump on you but its just a scary thought to think that someone giving a piece of key info could be the last straw... and I told that wife after that all went down if you saying that on your facebook had been the cause of that body part getting found being one of my husband I would kill you, not to seem like a crazy but he is my everything and if something hurt him I would be lost. So thats why ppl freak out alot about OPSEC and PERSEC and never knowing what info they are using against you.

[meaganeric-02/11/11]

AntiM and Meagan,

I understand your concerns, but

1. I haven't posted any personal information about my fiance, I don't even know who else is in his unit, and he is going into the Reserves. Chances are he will probably not even be on a ship. Also, if you have a problem with the information that people post on this website, you should probably take it up with the site's creators/maintanance. I'm sorry that the USS Cole being attacked scared you that badly, but 1. Most people would not be stupid enough to release information about a ship in deployment to the media.

2. AlQaida was responsible for that attack, not the wives who were desperately missing their sailors. I honestly don't want to argue with anyone, and don't understand why you are creating problems on what is supposed to be a support group. Besides, terrorists have plenty of ways to find out information about our troops, and I seriously doubt that they comb "Navyformoms.com" for information about PIR dates (which, by the way are public). As for your story about the wife that was killed in VA Beach? There are plenty of crazy people in this world, and they will be crazy no matter what. It is unfortunate what happened to her, but that seems to be more of a matter of personal security, and a person with some serious psychological issue. Anyone can join and become a member of this site, including terrorists, and so I understand why discretion must be used. However, I don't see any violations of personal safety, or the saftey of our sailors violated on this post. So if you two could please stop ganging up on me, I would very much appreciate it. I am very new to all of this, and if I have posted something offensive or that breaches security measures, the Navy does monitor this website and I am sure I would have been contacted. Besides, if either of you had bothered to read the community guidelines for this forum, you would have seen this:

" Do not mention Sailors’ last names. This includes your username if you share the same last name as your son or daughter.

No Sailor addresses, emails, or other contact information.

Do not post details regarding training, equipment, and current or future operations or missions. (But Boot Camp is okay.)"

My username is meaganeric-ship12-div030. NO last names are mentioned. The only dates that I have posted are when my baby left for bootcamp. NONE of these rules have been violated. I have never posted Eric's or my own last name, his address or email, or any dates! So while I appreciate your concern for the saftey of our troops, please leave me alone and mind your own business!

Besides, NavyForMoms is "a round table of unique support, knowledge, and camaraderie"...none of which you have been showing much of. Also, as a side note, I understand that your sailor is everything, believe me I know the feeling. However, posting that you would "kill" anyone responsible for leaking information (even accidentally or unknowingly), is not only a bit extreme, but also immature and you should really think twice before posting comments like that, where as you have pointed out so kindly, everybody can read. Please try to be kinder to us newbies in the future, and also maybe read over the community guidelines again before you write such aggressive comments. Believe me, I have talked with my fiance's recruiter about this before he left for bootcamp, as well as reading the rules and guidelines of this site. I would never do anything to put my sailor or his unit in danger. So thanks for your lecture, but please save it for someone who is actually breaking a rule.  

 

On a side note, Carrie I'm sorry for all of this being posted on your discussion. I won't be replying to this post again. Hope all is well with you and that you receive your first letter soon if you haven't already! Keep me updated!!! :)

[Anti M]

I was responding to a question.... a girl here posted that her SR was writing letters after hours and I said if he was, she shouldn't post that he was doing so because some RCDs DO watch the posts about their divisions.  This has been proven in the past.

Meaganeric asked what had been posted.  I didn't want to point out the other gal, so I used ME's information as an example.  I thought I'd made that clear.  I apologize that the original intent got lost in the discussion.

Support is more than hugs and sympathy, it can also be information and facts and trying to present the bigger picture. I wasn't ganging up on you, I was trying to answer a question.  If you don't think it applies, then relax and use what is useful and otherwise move on.  

This site isn't monitored much by the Navy, it is a civilian contract with paid civilian administrators.  And yes, a goldmine for personal information.  Scammers love this place.

[Carrie19]

Hey Meagan,

 

I haven't gotten his form letter of his first letter yet.  I am hoping that I will get his form letter (with the address) this week and his real letter next.  Definitely feel free to message me whenever you need to talk. :) 

Hope things are going a bit better,

Carrie

[Kourtney]

The first two weeks are the hardest. I cried myself to sleep every night and cried most of the day. I checked my phone constantly hoping for a text or call. I would look at pictures and watch video's of us and get sad. 

But then I got my first letter. It helped me so much to know that he was still alive (not that I thought her was dead just not talking to him made it feel that way) and to know that he was thinking about me. But then the next few days suck again. I checked the mail hoping for a letter and was severely disappointed when I didn't get one.

And then you'll get a phone call and the same thing that happened with your letter will happen.

But then you'll wake up and figure out what to do. Chances are you'll become a robot, but that is ok. You'll become a robot who can have a conversation with someone and not cry.

It sucks really really bad, and honestly there is nothing anyone can say to make the time go by faster. Write to him. Before I had my boyfriends address I wrote him like 10 letters, and the moment I got the address I sent them ALL. He said every time he gets mail he feels closer to me. And he should get mail everyday so write him everyday. Even though they can only send mail on Sunday's. And chances are they won't answer any of your thousands of questions you ask. Just keep writing.

What helped me was to think about our first kiss after 2 long months. Now I've got a month down and 28 day's to go. Some day's will be harder then others but I'm beyond proud of him. And think about it, whats 2 months when you've got your whole life ahead of you. It'll get easier I can promise you that. It just takes some time.

[nichole]

my boyfriend left on 10/26 and i feel the same way as you.. i revolved my whole life around him and now hes just gone. but for me i write to him everyday and that helps a little bit and just thinking that he will be back soon helps and keep reminding your self hes doing a good thing