Need some advice :(

[Bgirl23]

My boyriend is in A school currently.  We have been fighting constantly, and honestly I have been trying my absolute hardest to not fight over anything and I haven't.  However, he constantly is bringing up the same arguments over and over again.  He has gotten a short temper and loses it on me right away.  For a while he told me that he was just overwhelmed and stressed out and he missed me and he was taking it out on me.  But then last night he called me and told me he needed to be honest with me.  He said he doesnt feel like we have a real relationship because all we do is talk on skype and text. He said that he doesnt like talking to me anymore and that I annoy him when I text him.  He said its not even when hes busy he just doesnt want to talk to me and actually dreads having to call me every night and continued to say that he would rather be doing other things.  He told me that he doesn't miss me anymore, and that he doesnt want to come home at Christmas to see me he would rather go somewhere with his Navy friends.  He said he doesnt want to associate with home anymore and I am at home.  Then he said that since we were only dating for 2 months before he left (even though weve known eachother for years) that he doesn't even remember what it is like to be with me.  He compared me to his friends relationships and that they have been together for years so theres no way ours can work.  HOWEVER...he continues to say that he isnt breaking up with me and that he loves me.  What should I do?  Do I just walk away at this point or do I fight for it?? I invested so much into this relationship and I went through so much with him to get to this point I just cant seem to walk away from him.  I love him more than anything and I dont even know if he truely means this.  It hurt so much and to be 15 hours away from him and I havent seen him in 5 months makes it even harder.  PLUS...Im suppose to be flying out to him in 3 weeks.  I asked if he still wanted me to go and he said yes because he wants to see if itll fix anything.  But he also said that he doesnt think itll work since Ill obviously have to leave and he thinks this will all start again.  Should I even bother going (its costing me about $700)?  I want to go to try to fix things but I dont want to go and be so happy to see him and that be the moment where he realizes he doesnt want to be with me.  How can I even convince him that it will work?  Or should I even try or is it hopeless at this point?  I'm just looking for some support or advice since it seems like no one at home understands the amount of work that goes into a relationship like this and how it isnt easy togive up.

[Bgirl23]

Everything everyone is saying makes complete sense.  And deep down I know leaving him is probably right because I shouldnt be treated like this....i just went through so much to get to this point with being okay with the navy situation and the distance that I feel like I invested too much to throw in the towel....the guy I fell in love with is in there somewhere....I just dont know what happened.  He was never like this

[meagan5220]

You need to have a sit down with yourself and decide when is enough going to be enough? Where are you going to draw the line? As long as he knows he can get away with treating you like crap he will continue to do so. It is not going to get better if you allow him to do it. If you go up there then you need to put your foot down and let him know what is up. Its unacceptable to treat someone like that. And I am sorry but him saying he loves you and then treating you like that is so wrong of him. And dont for a second feel bad and think you are throwing in the towel. You worked your butt off! Do not allow yourself to be an option for someone. You deserve to be someone's everything. No ifs, ands, or butts about it.

[ddsweety]

I also agree with what every one else said. A lot of guys in A-school, C-school, ext are single so when our guys who have woman back home see how much fun these single guys are having they want that too. But like someone else said, when they deploy and such they want a woman there to be their support. Well they can't have it both ways, your guy needs to understand that. I wouldn't let him use you like that, if that is what is happening. My husband and I fought a lot during his schools too. Its really hard to explain why because it would be for the littlest things, but when I would visit him it would be amazing all over again. If you really love him and want things to work then I think you should visit him and see what you think. If you come back home and find out he is being mean all over again, then you should probably brake things off, but if you visit him he MAY realize what he is about to loose and might try harder. He needs to be there for you 100% of the time, not just while he is around because a lot of your relationship is going to be apart from one another. Being a military spouse/girlfriend/ext is hard! Good luck on your decision. Sorry if this didn't help at all..

[Bgirl23]

No thank you so much I agree with what your saying it all makes sense.  I just hope when I visit him that its good not bad...im 15 hours away i know it wont be easy but I put in as much effort as I need to to make it work...He just has given up in his mind.  Part of me thinks maybe its because he doesnt want to deal with the emotions of it all and is just trying to avoid it...but I could be making excuses for him too since I just wish he was the same guy he was when he left.  Thanks for your help :)  It really does mean a lot that everyone responded to this.

[ddsweety]

No problem. Just think long and hard about it, not going to be easy for you to decide I'm sure. I hope he realizes that your worth it :)

[LaneGF]

I'm Sorry to hear that as well. That must be awful. I always fear when my boyfriend leaves for bootcamp something like this will happen. I wish there was a bunch of stuff I could tell you to help but maybe having a better conversation or topic to talk about will help out alot? WHat about skyping when yall can? That'd be a good chance to see each other and talk :) Everything works out for the best and honestly don't put anymore money in it if you don't feel as if he'll enjoy seeing you and everything will be ok from there. Not a day goes by I don't think about my boyfriend leaving it kills me to death. He's my 1 and only true best friend and literally noone else at school is going through what I will so yeah it's hard here too. We aren't the most perfect couple so I understand were you're coming from. On the other hand he seems like everything will be ok and we'll always be faithful. It's good that you go along with a lot he says and kinda just lets things slide by but its not fair for anyone to be treated unfair or overpowering. I hope I helped a little I'm still young and this is ALL new for me. It's all hard because it's the military. You both just got to be willing to give it al in and try instead of being half a*s about it!

[Bgirl23]

We've tried the off topic---its obvious to both of us that we are just trying to distract eachother.  As for skyping ....thats when he tells me that he doesnt look forward to skyping me at night.  Unfortunately he has just changed a lot.  His family has noticed it and has become extremely upset over it too.  Im still hoping that he will realize what he has become and change..but enough is enough sometimes. 

But stay optimistic.  Most guys in the military truely cherish their girlfriends for their support.  Its not easy for us or for them and the fact that you are dependent on eachother for support makes your relationship stronger.  You definitley found a good group for support.  I dont have anyone who truely understands at home either and that can be hard having no one to talk to.  But you can always talk to me or any of us on here about our experiences.  Even though my relationship clearly isnt going as planned, Ill never regret being a military girlfriend.  It is a great experience and you learn a lot about your strengths.  Best of luck to you :)