new and clueless

[Halie]

Hi everyone! So recently my boyfriend decided he wanted to join the Navy. This is a shock to me because it's something he's never mentioned. We have been together for about a year and a half, but have been communicating for much longer. Of course I support his decision even though I know it's going to be a tough journey. I'm new to this site and new to everything that has to do with the Navy. I want to learn as much as possible. He went and talked with a recruiter today. I just want to know some basic things.. When he goes to boot camp how often will we get to talk? I know we can write letters, but does he have any guaranteed calls? If so, how many? Also will he be able to come home after boot camp? In about a year he wants me to move in with him.. do we have to be married in order for me to move in with him? Or can I even move in with him?

Could you please answer as many of these questions as you can and give me any other info I may need to know.. thank you!

[nicolel818]

Letters are the most fun part, it's a new way of communicating other than texting or calling. It really goes by faster than you think as long as you keep busy with a job, school, or other activities. There aren't any guaranteed phone calls, except for the one at the end when they become a sailor and pass Battle Stations. I got about 3-4 including the "I'm a sailor" call, but it all depends on good behavior and performance as a division. And one of the calls I missed and got a voicemail. Depending on where schooling is afterwards will dictate how much time between graduation and school there is to spend time with family. Coming home usually isn't an option no matter where you go though. I was at about the same point as you last year with my boyfriend (now husband) and I wouldn't think about moving too much until 1) boot camp is over 2) where his schooling is and 3) how long schooling is. At least wait until there is a ship assignment to pick up and move. Distance is hard and I've been doing it for almost a year now, but it definitely has brought us closer together. hope this helps :)

[jessicalulu85]

Hi! My husband joined back in May, unfortunately for Bootcamp it is a privilege when they get to call.  Usually it will be 1 in the beginning when he arrives in boot camp, the other is half way and the last one is usually a few days before graduation to tell you that he is good to go in PIR.  Letters is your best option.  Depending on what he chooses to do as a career, he might be on hold and be able to travel home, but in my case my husband left within 24 hrs of Graduation to San Antonio for HM training.  The tricky part is when you want to move with him. In many cases when they are single, they have to be in the barracks.  If both of you want the help of the Navy for the move and expenses then you have to be a dependent- in this case Married. Keep in mind that everything is on a case by case basis and until he is fully enlisted, you wont get the exact answer you may be looking for.  

[Jatjo]

Welcome to the site Halie! 

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. He decided to enlist in February out of nowhere. It was a shock to me too, considering the thought of him joining the military was the furthest from my mind. But from the very beginning I was always supportive. He left for basic on June 9 and now we are at the halfway point. It's almost crazy how fast time went. 

The no communication has been quite a challenge for me. I didn't hear from him for 15 days after he left for basic. We got to talk for about a half hour. I also get 2-3 letters a week from him. It's definitely gotten easier since the beginning but believe me, there still are bad days. I just recently spoke to him on July 4th. And I feel like it set me back. I was finally getting control of my emotions and after he called, I lost it. But getting better again. It's tough getting to communicate and see that person everyday to zero communication. It's a big adjustment. 

SR's (Seamen Recruit) are guaranteed 3 phone calls at basic. One 30 second phone call when they arrive at Great Lakes. The second is usually at the halfway point, and third is the "I'm a Sailor call"  after they complete Battlestations 21. Any other phone calls between those times are up to the RDC (Recruit Division Commander). Also phone calls are determined on good behavior in the divisions. 

He won't be able to come home after he graduates. Graduation is known as PIR (Pass In Review), and it is held at Recruit Training Command in Great Lakes, which is where basic training is. Depending on the rate (job) he chooses to go into will determine where he goes for his schooling and for how long. Unfortunately you wouldn't be able to move in with him unless you were married. The only way you would be able to live with him otherwise is when he reaches the rank of E-5 and gets B.A.H (Basic Allowance for Housing). But depending on his rate, it could take awhile before he reaches the rank of E-5. 

I think this covers everything. If you have anymore questions feel free to message me and ask, I would be happy to help. And remember, everyone on this site is here to help you through everything. This is my escape when i'm having my bad days! :)

-Jatjo

[abuon18]

Hello,
My husband has been in for 4 years. When he was in bootcamp we were dating.

They get two phone calls - the I'm here call and the I'm a Sailor call. No other calls are guaranteed not even the halfway call. My husband missed calls his division received, for example, because he was getting his wisdom teeth removed. So don't expect anything except those two calls. The I'm here call is literally 30 seconds "I'm here I love you I miss you" and he may call you or his family. You or his family will receive his box a week or week and a half after he arrives - whoever he chooses to send it to. It has all of his stuff in it, clothes cell phone wallet. Everything he brings to boot camp with him he has to send back. They give him everything he's allowed to have there except for certain items like medications, a small address book, and religious medals for example. Around that same time you or his family will receive his letter with his PIR information. At that point you can begin making your plans to see him graduate!

If his A school is not at Great Lakes he will get to spend the whole day immediately after PIR with you and his family and then fly out to his A school the next day - they usually bus them to the airport in the middle of the night and they have to wait for their flight at the airport. You and his family can wait with him - the Chicago airports are really good at allowing the families gate passes so you can sit with your Sailor. While he is at A school he will have to live in the barracks unless he is married, hen he can request a "brown bafger chit" to live off base. Many schools are so short this isn't approved and financially not worth it. The Navy will only move spouses who are on the A school orders before they are received (so married before boot camp) and the schooling is 20 weeks or longer. Not including hold times. For example, my husband and I got married while he was in A school and because he had another year and a half of school (A and C school) we paid to move me. Once he completes his school and gets his orders, if they are orders to somewhere in the US you can move anywhere you want. Whether he is able to live with you is up to his command - as a Single Sailor below a certain rank he would have to request it, and he would not receive BAH until he was E-5. Married Sailors almost always are required to live off the ship except in special cases that need to be approved by the command. No matter what rank they are if they are married they receive BAH.

If he receives overseas orders (which is likely for unmarried Sailors) then you cannot go and live with him if you are not married. If you are married before he receives the orders, he must be an E-3 or above for you to be able to move with him.