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[NavyWifeToBe]

Hey everyone! I'm Adrianna, my fiance is Jack, and we have a 14 month old son named Carter. We're 19. He started boot camp on January 18th. I know he will be going to 2 different A Schools because he's in for SUBS. I'm planning our wedding, and I want it to be in September, but I'm nervous about planning it. What are the chances of him getting stationed somewhere out of the US? Or being deployed before the wedding?! Any info that you'd like to share on ANYTHING would be helpful!
Thanks! :)

[Navy couple]

I'm currently enlisted and my husband left for boot camp on Jan 23rd the best advice I will give you is unfortunately don't plan anything until he's done with schooling! There can be holds to start school or god forbid he not pass. I would wait to plan anything til he's gotten to his first duty station.

[NavyWifeToBe]

I think I'll just get married on base

[Anti M]

Hi.

Do NOT plan a wedding.  He is not guaranteed to finish his A schools on time, he can only take leave immediately after A school, and his chances of deployment are pretty good for subs.  Yes, he could be stationed outside the country.  You have to minimize those chances, and make the best of an unknown situation.

What the most common thing to do is go to him during A school, have a quick courthouse wedding to get your union recognized by the Navy for paperwork purposes.  That way when the detailer issues the orders, they will include you and your son as his dependents.  Married junior sailors are far less likely to get overseas orders than single junior sailors.  The reason is that sailors who are E-3 or below cannot take dependents overseas.  So while he could get orders to Guam or Hawaii if married, it is far less likely.  You will have to go to CT to do this, he cannot take leave during A school.

Once married on paper, you can then try to plan a wedding and reception for the family.  The trick is to NOT pick a date and stay very flexible.  A lot of the traditional stuff gets thrown out, such as Save the Date.  You can't know the date.  Never put money down on a venue, catering, music or photographer who is not flexible and who will not give a refund.  Google search for last minute military weddings for ideas on how to get a beautiful day while juggling military leave.

Good luck, and I will try to answer any questions you have, if I can, or find links if I cannot.

[NavyWifeToBe]

I think I'll plan to have our wedding at the chapel on base after he gets stationed, that way I'll be able to plan a little, as long as he doesn't get stationed over seas, we should be good. :) 

[Michael]

NO NO NO NO do not plan a wedding because it will not happen. Me and my husband had our wedding planned and paid for told the recruiter and told his chain of command and you know what we lost $10k no wedding happen. When you are in the military he is. NOw property of the US government. He will have to submit a chit to get married so they will give him off. Every chain of command is different. Second you will Bot be based outside the country anyone under a E5 that is married and have children will not be living outside the US. Now he is single they can force him to go anywhere in the world as he is not legally married. He could be sent to Japan Guam Qatar or where ever and leave you behind. If you want to make sure that does not happen here is my suggestion go get married at a court housejust you and him and plan on something later because I am telling you this. My husbands best friend had been engaged to his wife for 4 years and they were not married he was sent to Japan and she stayed behind. She had to wait 3 years before he retired before they got married as she could not afford to come to Japan to see him. The sooner you realize that the NAVY comes first and family second you will be a happier woman. Me and my husband with our daughter are stationed in Norfolk he's not deployed yet but I am lucky if I see him one day a weeks because he is so busy on his ship to get it ready for underways and then deployment. I see my husband in bed knocked out because he's so tired. Just be ready that you will be the rock In the relationship and to be the glue to keep you together good luck. But doNOT plan. Weeding you will lose your money and break your heart

[elizabeth_fl]

Hi Adrianna!! It really depends how long his A school is in Groton (my husbands was only abt 4 months March-July). However once he is done with A school, deployments will really depend on what type of boat he will be on, a boomer, fast boat or GN. It all really depends on their schedules unfortunately. The chances of him getting stationed outside of the US on a boat are slim as he has to do a sea duty first with Subs because they have to qualify for the FISH in their first year. The only place I'm thinking he could end up outside of the US would be Guam. We are working on back-to-back boats right now (boomer, now fast boat) and we planned both of our weddings with him attached to his boomer. I'm glad he was on one of those because I feel like planning a wedding if he was on a fast boat would have been damn near impossible lol. But it is possible to do!! You may have to switch dates around but it can be done. Remember don't ever write anything in ink ;) 

[Tatyana]

I am in the EXACT boat you're in. My fiancé left 1-10-17. He's also doing SUBS! His A school is 63 week days. After A school he gets to come home for 5 days. We decided to get married during those 5 days so that we are legally married and then have a ceremony later that is more flexible but we didn't want to risk the chance of having to put off being married.