Not Sure What to Do

[Faith_SHIP 09 DIV 283_9/7/12]

Well..the day I never wanted to come, has finally come and gone..
Just on Monday, I went with my Sailor to the recruiting station and said my goodbyes. He is now in Boot Camp, and this is without a doubt the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. The days have begun to blur together, and everywhere I look there's another memory. I'm struggling to find things to keep myself occupied until I can write letters to him, and until he graduates from Boot Camp.. I could really use some help. :/

[Team Leo <3]

Hey girlie :). I'm Vanessa.. first of all, I want to tell you that you have came for help at the best place. I loved it since day one. Now that my bf is out of boot camp I kinda miss it lol. But let me give you some heads up, advice, and so on.. .. first of all, the next 3 weeks are going to be the hardest. Especially cuz till the 3rd week is when you get your first letter. Normally on a Wednesday or Thursday :)... I suggest you start writing him letters now and then send em out as soon as you get your address .. it helped me. I wrote everyday twice a day if I could. I told him everything that I wanted and it just felt like a million lbs off my chest .. this site also helped me for when I felt alone. I met other girls who had bfs in the same PIR. When you find out his PIR date you should look for a group with this PIR. It will be very helpful. Trust me!! If you are close to his family, it's always good to keep in touch with them. But this is only the beginning of boot camp girl.. you'll get through it. Trust me, I kinda miss it :p, but I would never do it again! Message me if you ever need someone to talk to :)... I haven't been a navy girlfriend for long, but I've learned enough! Plus I had a brother in the navy too, lol

[Faith_SHIP 09 DIV 283_9/7/12]

Vanessa ~ It’s good to know that I came to the right place, that there are so many people going through this or that have gone through it..that will help me. I’m definitely going to write letters to him, all the time. He asked me to write to him every day, so I intend to do that. For sure. His family wants to keep in touch, and he asked me to keep an eye out on his little sister and help out in any way that I can.. So that should be good. I guess right now it’s just adjusting to the fact that he’s not here anymore. I’m so used to talking to him every day, and getting to be with him. It’s so hard to wrap my head around the fact that he’s gone

[Jenn_NicksWifey]

Oh, my heart goes out to you.  My hubby is graduating from bootcamp next week.  The first few weeks are the worst.  Since then, I have been coping much better.  I cried all the way home from the recruiter after leaving him there.  Here's a pic of him with our little girl, saying goodbye at the recruiter's office. 

Tell us a little about your life. Are you married to your SR?  Do you have kids?  How long have you been together?  I have found that talking about him/us/the Navy/the future in the Navy really helps me.  I get really frustrated when he doesn't send mail, I've only gotten 3 letters from him the whole time he's been there.  But try not to get frustrated or mad at him.  Or if you do, don't let it fester.  You'll go through a whole range of emotions in the next 8 weeks.

Above all, you are his rock right now.  Write him every day.  I started writing the night he left, even though he called me a few times from the hotel that night and the next day I got a few texts while he was waiting hours for the bus to take them to RTC.  I kept all the letters dated and sent them together the day I got his address.  I've written him every day since and even though he can't write back most of the time, when he has written, he has been appreciative of the letters.  He says it helps him get through it knowing I'm supportive of him.  Some of the other recruits were getting Dear John letters.  Even though you're sad and lonely, keep your letters upbeat.  It's ok to tell him you miss him, but he really needs to know you're going to be ok while he's gone so that he can concentrate on his job there.  I saw a T-Shirt that says "Navy Wife - hardest job in the Navy".  I now think there is a lot of truth to it.  If you have any questions, please ask.  You can PM me too, if you want.  You might want to join a group for his PIR (Pass In Review - bootcamp graduation) date and also a group for his A-School or future rate (his job, usually denoted by 2 capital initials, for instance, my hubby will be an EN - engineman).  The PIR group will probably talk about what's going on each week, what the Divisions have earned, how they are doing, the meet & greets for the graduation weekend, etc, etc.  The A-School group can give you insight to what to expect after graduation.  Boot is only 8 weeks, which seems like FOREVER, but there is life afterwards, knowing what to expect helps.  Especially as far as packing, getting ready to move on orders, etc, etc. 

I know you'll get a lot of good advice here, I sure did and I probably will continue to do so.  The ladies on N4Ms are awesome, compassionate, and knowledgeable and are so generous with their time and expertise.  Sorry so long, everything is just so fresh in my head & heart. 

Jenn.

[Faith_SHIP 09 DIV 283_9/7/12]

Jenn ~ He’s graduating from boot camp next week? That’s awesome! I know what you mean about crying all the way home. I was in his parents’ car, bawling.

We’re not married, and no kids. We’ve been together since February of 2012. It doesn’t seem like that long of a time, but.. I can honestly say that the months I’ve spent with him have been the best months of my life. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else.

I can imagine it’s a bit frustrating when you don’t get mail. I think just the first three weeks will be hard for me. I’ll be very thankful to get any letters at all, really. I just went through a month away from him while I was on vacation with a member of my family. The only difference was that he was talking to me all day, every day. Now, I wake up, check my phone..and there’s nothing there. It’s a big change for me.

I’m starting writing letters now. I’m just waiting for the address to come.

No worries about the message being long. It’s all really very helpful, and I thank you! I really appreciate it.