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Phase II Wedding?
Okay so I posted this because I feel that I am getting all sorts of conflicting information which is terribly frustrating
My fiencee and I have been engaged for well over a year but about six months in to the engagment he told me that he wanted to join the navy. Shocked, we agreed that it would be the best thing for him. The snag is that the recruter told him not to get married until after basic, that he himself got married the day after baisc and it was okay and good. Now as I am reading everything I am seeing that because he has to report to TX he will graduate on Friday and have to leave on that Saturday to get to TX which does not leave us time to get married. I am not really sure what to do, and I know that there has to be somebody else in a similar sitaution as we are so hopefully we can just get some advice about what and how to do all this so I will be in his final moving orders afte school.
please, please, please any and all advice that you have is helpful. Thanks in advance! <3 Shannon
Views: 593
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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Is he in boot camp yet? If not, how far out is he? The recruiter is the snag, he doesn't want to do the paperwork.
If he's already departed, then getting married PIR weekend won't be possible in your case. Going to TX for which school? Corpsman (HM)? That is a lengthy school, long enough for you to fly down and marry in the courthouse. Also, join the HM A school group, I'm sure there are brides there to ask the details.
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Permalink Reply by shannon04 on
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He is on his 30 day out, he leaves May 1. Would this make it more possible to get married that weekend if he hasn't left. He will be in the Cropsman HM school. I am just so ready to be married to this man that I am a little at a loss on how to even go about things. I mean I work full time so getting time off will be the only snag but my boss is a military spouse so she has been so helpful, but the Army is a lot different than the Navy. All her advice is good but only good to an extent.
Also, how long will his school be? We could not find a lot of answers on that. Any information you have on TX, school and getting married is so well worth it. Really the Navy is great but since I am such a planner and a need to know sort of person that it's a hard adjustment. But it is just that an adjustment and I will get used to it because this is his career.
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Permalink Reply by ericalynn1084 on
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I had my husband's recruiter tell him the same thing to later find out that he also didn't want to do the paperwork. My now husband went away to boot camp as just my fiance' and I felt the same way. I didn't think it would ever happen, but we made it work. I looked into getting married in Chicago possibly during graduation weekend but that seemed impossible because you have to get the marriage license downtown Monday thru Friday before like 4pm. What we did was wait until after graduation to see what his school schedule was like and he was able to request leave on a Friday night to come home to MD and return Sunday night to be back for school. I was able to get the marriage license in MD without him so we were set for a Saturday wedding. My friend had ordained herself online, so there was no cost and he was only home for about 36 hours but it was so much fun.
I know every state is different, but it worked for us and hopefully it will work out for you guys as well. Good luck, hope this kind of helped!
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Okay, usually A school students usually don't get to take leave, so that wouldn't be my plan number one. ericalynn, which A school let him do that? That would be useful to know. And congrats for getting that to work! (I'm betting Goose Creek for nuke?) Most A schools have a 300 mile liberty limit, so yes, leave is important if it is granted.
shannon, 30 days out is awfully short notice. But I would still give the recruiter an earful, and I would complain directly to the RINC (recruiter in charge). Make sure this guy never tells any other recruit to marry on PIR weekend. At least have your sailor talk to him about it.
Okay, is it HM school? I'm asking because there's a couple other schools too. San Antonio? You can google the county clerk and marriage licenses if you want to do it down there.
If he will be an HM, here is a forum which may be a good resource too:
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It is HM school he is going to. I thought that TX was the only school for him, am I wrong about this? You have been an absolute help! Thank you so much. I can not express how flabbergasted I am that I have found such a supporting group of people that just want to help one another out.
My boss got on the phone with a friend of her's who is in the Navy and she gave me some great advice, but I guess depending on if he goes to C school he can be there for over a year and that would not be bad because if we get married I have heard that I could get CHIT paperwork filled out and he might be able to live with me off base if we're married. So I guess I will just have to wait until he has off base rights and once that happens we will get married. Thank you again for all your help Auntie M, you know so much more than I do!
I guess the real question that remains is how much time would I have to get on his final order paperwork so if he does not get C school that I can go with him...
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This gave me a lot of hope, thank you. I know that every situation is different and we were not really planning on doing a big wedding, just a little something with a ring ceremony about a year or so later when he has leave.
It sounds like you truly had a unique wedding and I bet that helped make the day all the more memorable. I am so happy that it all worked out for you. Like I said, it really does give me a lot of hope that I will be able to make this situation work out! :) You guys really are amazing!
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Permalink Reply by RedHeadedNavyWife on
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My now-Husband and I got married before he went to Bootcamp, because his Recruiter told him it would be easier to get the paperwork done beforehand. Also, as a dependant, I now have privileges for Spouses that I otherwise would not have had. With that said, when Hubby graduated Boot this past Friday, he only had about 6 hours Liberty with me before he had to be back on Base - and he left the next day for TX. He's a Reservist, so he starts his HM classes in 2 weeks and will be gone for 4 months. So, that might be enough time to get married in San Antonio, if you cannot do it before he leaves. I hope everything works out for you. (Shannon - Isn't your fiance a bit older? I think we had an exchange in the chatroom earlier today before my computer flaked out...)
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Yeah we did talk a little earlier, he's thirty so I feel like hopefully it will all work itself out but I will get married in TX if need be. He has a lot of family in TX and they would be so happy to help us out signing paperwork and licences. He opted out of reserves because he was working retail management and he would never be able to get the time needed to do the duties that he would have been responsible for.
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Permalink Reply by MissingmySailor on
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Shannon, after getting married while he is in school...living arrangements are a whole other ball game. The Navy likes to complicate things for us..if what you are saying is he will still be in school when you want to move there , he will have to request to live out,aka living ashore chit. That must be approved first...and even with that granted it can be taken away due to not making curfew, being late on duty days, failing grades etc. Focus on one thing at a time or else your going to be so stressed..gotta take it step by step or it will make you crazy lol focus on marriage first, the Navy isn't into rushing..everything is dragged out lol since my husband left for bc last Sept I have seen him a total of 9 days. That's from that point to now lol we got married on the 29th of December at the JOP in our town and he left the following day to go back to swcc school in Cali...he is now in a totally diff job due to injury and is in submarine school.It's not even three hours away from where I live in in New York so I'm so happy! He graduates in May and will get a duty station finally and we will live together..! I useto go crazy and stress but not anymore..I still do cause I like to know what's next but I learned to control it and just take it one day at a time..or week at a time. I focus more on planning weekend trips up there to visit him vs worrying about where we will be living next month. So focus on getting married first, then living arrangements next. Things are always changing too.. I gave up school because we were suppose to be moving to Cali the week after we got married, so I took the semester off &a was going to continue in Cali.. but he got hurt and had to cancelled that plan so now I'm working full time per diem at my job I have had since summer just waiting for the day we have a place to go to ! Please don't stress out...I too was a very planning type person but it made me crazy and sick.. gotta take it slow and cover one area well before wetting your feet in another. I hope you get info from everyone & it helps you guys out!
Also my husband is now in C school..he already did A school at Ft Lee VA I know he can request leave now from Friday 1600_0700 monday morning...he doesn't have over night liberties yet.. just civis and midnight curfew. Every school has diff rules I guess.. when he graduated A school a month or so ago, I was allowed to travel back home to NY with him, driving, as long as he checked into sub school no later then Sunday 2100. I got him and his friend their Saturday night. We crashed Friday night at my inlaws (surprised them too lol ) he didn't have to take leave, they brought a plane ticket for him to take to Groton CT from VA but he refused and I met chief and he said I could take my sailor as long as he reported one time Sunday. Like I said, every school is different and has diff rules -
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Good info and perfect example of being flexible, MS! Nine days in 7 months? Not bad. I saw my hubby a total of 28 days in our first two years, but we were both active duty.
Yes, some C schools don't even have liberty phases other than the school night curfews. Others do. As for HM C school, they're all over the place. HMs have a different "path" than other rates when it comes to the fleet.
Good news, no waiting period for military in Texas!
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That's nine days give or take a few hrs and mins..not to mention five of them were in the last month when he moved to Groton, closer to me lol and eventually when he is deployed we will go longer and longer without seeing each other...its part of the plan when marrying a military man. And oh I see yea I get not every school is the same. But I just wanted to share my story with her & I'm sure other ladies have it much worse. You gotta be flexible and prepared to rearrange your whole life for this man. As we said in our vows, marriage is based on love, commitment and sacrifice... Sacrifice being the major one
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