Please help. =]

[Marianna4NAVY]

My boyfriend is 22 years old. He considered joining the Navy directly after graduating high school. He had a recruiter and completed the ASVAB and he was/is very interested in the Nuclear Tech program. However, before anything was official he decided to attend community college. He will be receiving his Associates degree in Business Management/Administration this May. However, out of nowhere he told me a few days ago that he is considering seriously joining the Navy. I think he is bored with his schooling and regrets not joining when he first wanted. We were not dating the first time he considered joining. I am completely clueless on anything regarding the Navy. We both live in Virginia. What should I expect? How long will he be gone? Will he be on a strict routine/what will his life be like? I've been trying to read forums and comments on this site and others to gather some information but it's hard to keep straight. I haven't heard many success stories about Navy members and their girlfriends. I am very apprehensive but I cannot do anything but support him in his decision and respect him. I have read many forums where women follow their boyfriend but I know in most cases these women were wives not girlfriends. I received my Associates in Science last May and I am currently in Nursing school to receive my BSN/RN so I am stuck in my current location for at least two more years. ANY information is greatly appreciated. I would just like a better idea of what to expect/be more knowledgable on the Navy. Tell me everything/anything you know, please!

[Marianna4NAVY]

Were you two together when he first joined? Is it easier in the beginning when he is at school or when he actually goes on duty? And tell me anything you've learned that has been helpful for you/you and your husband's relationship. What's the longest you've been without seeing your husband? What's the longest you've been without hearing from him? What do you do to keep busy? I do not have any children and although I can busy myself with Nursing school for a year and a half, I will soon be a Registered Pediatric Nurse and my schooling will end.

[Anti M]

I was in the Navy for nine years, and my father was in for 29 years.  I met my husband while serving, and we married in Vegas, mostly because we didn't know when we'd ever get the chance again.  On Thursday, it will be 25 years together.  The first two years we were married, we saw each other for a TOTAL of 28 days.  It was difficult, especially since we did not have email or skype or even cell phones.  But we made it.  Takes a certain type of strength and patience.  

He'll sign a contract for four to six years of service, depending on what training he qualifies for.  Nuke and some of the other technical schools can take a couple years.  He'll likely wait a year to depart, the Navy is overmanned. while he waits, he will work out and train with the DEPpers.  

Boot camp is 8 weeks, sometimes closer to nine.  Expect very sparse communication during this time. Graduation is remarkable.

A school... the commands restrict the sailors' time to themselves and their privileges at first.  They must stay within 300 miles of base, even on weekends, so it is unusual for them to get to come home during this time.  The good news is they get holiday leave if they are students during Christmas. They will have to keep their studies up, but they can have their phones while not in class or on duty, and will have access to their laptops.  You can visit.  They must live on base unless married, and then they must receive permission, and only if the school is long enough.  They may also go to C school, where the liberty requirements are even more relaxed.

In the fleet... most first orders are to ships or subs (subs are volunteer basis), although some do get shore duty, or overseas orders.  A set of PCS orders is often 2~3 years.   They will have more free time IF the command isn't super busy.  Ships deploy, sometimes as often as once a year, usually for six to eight months or more.  Sometimes less, or more, and sometimes they have shorter "underways".  They have limited access to the internet while deployed, some access to email, and can call now and then.  When in port, they will have duty days, but otherwise their job is fairly regular.  They have to stay out of trouble, of course.  They can choose to live offbase, however, they must be an E-5 or above to receive a housing allowance as a single sailor.  Married sailors get housing or a housing allowance for their dependent spouses.  GFs have no status with the Navy.  There are good discussions here on the benefits of being a spouse.  

That's very basic, and there are always exceptions to every situation.  

Keep asking questions!

[Marianna4NAVY]

Congratulations on your 25th anniversary with your husband this Thursday. That is wonderful. I have to send so much respect your way for committing yourself to someone for so long when they are gone for a lot of it. Thank you so much for this information. Your post has been extremely informative and helpful to me. I am so uninformed! The more I research the more I am finding out how true it is that "GFs have no status with the Navy." I suppose God has a plan and He will take care of my boyfriend and our relationship as He sees fit. I just cannot imagine going a few days without him, much less weeks/months/years. Naive girl in love here.

[Laura]

This was very helpful, thank you!

I have a few additional questions I would like to add to this collection.  Despite my reading and information gathering, I am still having difficulty understand what a typical home situation would be like for a Navy wife.  On a separate note, is there any change in the life cycle of a sailor if he already has a skill set?  My boyfriend has a BSN, and if he decides to enlist (which is a very serious possibility) he wouldn't need any training for the profession itself. 

[Angie]

If he is going enlisted doesnt matter if he has a Masters degree he still goes to the same training as if he had no skills.

[Anti M]

EVERY sailor goes through the exact same training, no matter what they have been taught by even the greatest civilian university.  The Navy wants things done precisely their way, no deviation.  It is a safety issue, especially in emergency or combat situations.   Having the degree would simply mean some sections will be easier for him than for the kids straight out of high school.  It also means he will need to UNlearn certain ways of doing things, which will be frustrating.  

The best his degree would do for him is give him E-3 going into boot camp, and possibly put him into leadership positions.  E-3 means more pay, leadership postitions are simply experience and responsibility. 

Typical home life?  It varies so much, depending on your sailor's rate and assignment.  A shore duty assignment is much different than a sailor at sea (where they usually begin).   Even then, there's duty days, some work 7 to 4, some work shifts, some do three on, four off, .... just about any crazy schedule you can think off.  Live off base or in military contractor housing?  Just don't know how to answer that unless you have more specific questions.  

[UrabissWife]

LAURA-it all depends on his rate and rank as far as what his home life style will be like. also it depends on his command . then there is the difference between being attached to a squadron and attached to a ship. there are so many factors to add to it that will change how home life is. do you have any idea what he may go into the navy to do? that may help us to give you a better understanding what it will be like :) also just because he has a BSN only means his rank will be higher going in the navy vs someone who has no college experience.

[UrabissWife]

hey girl you will get 1000 different stories about being in the navy. when it comes down to it, your navy experience will be like no one elses :P  it all depends on his job also. just because he was able to do the nuke program after high school doesn't mean that is what he will get now. he will have to test again and if the job opens up he will get it. everyone told me my husband would be too busy he would rarely be home and we wouldn't talk much.... its the exact opposite for me. hes home ever day. and he even has holidays off. basic is the same for everyone. limited amount of communication. there is no way to prepare for that. A school is better b/c you can talk to him more. I even moved down to be with my husband even though everyone said I couldn't and I wouldn't see him b/c he would be to busy... once again It was the opposite, I seen him every day, and he got to stay with me on the weekends and a week before he graduated he got foxtrotted and was able to stay with me all week he just had to go to school. the navy experience is all how you make it.it will either be miserable or amazing. its your mind set. though I see my husband every day, time with him is limited , they work 10 hour shifts. then sometimes 8hour watches. its not a normal 8-5 job that for sure. but its about supporting him in his dreams :) and if your relationship withholds the difficulties the navy brings you, the bond between you two will only grow stronger :D just remember once he is in the navy, the navy comes first. so if you say youre going to support him you gotta hold on to that promise b/c he needs it more than either of you think :)