PLEASE READ! WILL THE NAVY LEAVE ME STRANDED AND HOMELESS IF I AM A DEPENDENT?

[Krose018]

Hello,

 My friend told me about this site in the hoping that I can get some advice from all of you. My name is Kelly and I have been with a wonderful man for about two years now. He just left for his naval basic training and has about 44 days left and then goes to his A school. We are going to be getting married on his 10 day leave. But I am very worried cause what I thought was a stable situation has turned out to become a nightmare for me. The wedding is not going to be a problem. After the wedding is what I am worried about. fiance's recruiter told me that the Navy would pay for me to move to where ever his orders are. Like if he goes to California they will either pay to have my stuff shipped or pay me back for it. Also if he goes over seas they would accommodate me. Well I just found out that is not the case. I found out that I have to pay for everything in full even though I will be his dependent. I found out that this is because I did not marry him before his basic training. We did not get married for a few reasons his recruiter told us not to. I am worried if he does not get stationed here in Hampton roads for a few reasons. I turned down a permanent well paying job about 2 months ago because I got hired for a summer camp job, since I was told I would be able to join him. My summer job does not pay much a lot of it is having to go to my wedding and other expenses. I had planned that maybe I would just get another job after my summer one and live at home a bit longer (I am a student and live with my mother)  and save up most of my money so I can join him if he is far from here. Well my mother told me that at the end of his 10 days of leave if he is not stationed here in Hampton roads I need to be packed and out, all of my stuff, clothes, furniture, my pets, everything, also I will have to find another place to live she said until I can save up money. She does not care where I go or what I do. Well I found out if this happens I guess I will be living out of my car and pretty much homeless until I can save up enough That is if I can even get a job. I sent my fiance a letter asking him to choose 3 state side bases and telling him that I found out the Navy will not pay for me to join him. He does not know though that I will have no place to live after I marry him if he is not stationed here in Hampton Roads. I don't want to tell him that part in a letter since I do not want him to worry about me. I want him to do well at is Basic training. I love him so much and I want everything to work out. I know he is going to be very upset if he has to leave for his orders and his new wife ends up homeless. I am just really scared right now and could use some advice or guidance. Do you all have any information that may help me? Is there anyone or a organization I can contact to get help or advice?  Also it is 100% true that the Navy won't pay for me to join him at all even after I marry him? Like would the Navy really let a sailor's new wife and dependent end up on the street with no place safe to go? I was under the impression that they took care of the military wives and families......I am afraid of what will happen to me if I end up living in my car or on the street and if my future husband, after I become his wife cannot do anything about it. I know my fiance is going to be very upset when he finds this out. Is there anything that he can do to help me or I can do?  I really don't want to end up on the street and not be safe, while I wait for him to get leave to come back and help me. I also do not have any family or friends willing to help me. I am sad since I do not have a good support net at all.

Thank you,

Kelly

[Jenn_NicksWifey]

There tend to be hold times, where the students are sitting around waiting for a class to fill up so it can start, so it may be longer.  He is going to have to be on it when he gets there.  Many schools have requrements for the students to complete before getting married.  They have to have a "chit" (that is just a written request for permission for something) approved and some require taking a class, I don't know about Lackland.  Maybe someone here will chime in and help.  The chain of command will have to give him the info after he checks into A School.  He won't know anything until he gets there.  If he gets the run around (some people have had problems getting straight answers from their chain) he can ask the chaplain.  But he will really have to be proactive on doing it.  You can be researching what county the base is in, what the county requires for marriage licenses and the waiting periods etc.  

I recommend putting a big wedding at the bottom of your priorities list.  I've never been a proponent of big weddings, but in your situation, you have bigger things to figure out first.  Have a nice reception or vow renewal after a while once you're all settled in and together and stuff.