Question about appearance!

[Squeekerz]

So... I just thought I'd ask.  I feel silly for even asking, but I'm going to anyway!  For the future!  Not too ridiculously long ago, my hair was a beautiful color blue.  I love looking out of the norm that way.  My tongue was also pierced, and I wanted a lip piercing.  

 

My question is... what kind of outward appearance should the spouse of someone in the Navy present?  Back before I was too big to fit into my clothes, I wore Tripp pants with lots of chains and as much metal as possible.  I loved my huge paints that felt so heavy on my waist.  Black nail polish, black fingerless gloves... It's a style I still enjoy to this day, but toned down quite a bit to what I used to be.  Now I wouldn't really wear the chains or anything.  Too much noise and what not.

 

In any case  what is appropriate for being married and living with a Sailor?  I don't want to dye my hair crazy and then my husband get in trouble for it.  I love the blue though...  Also, a love of mine is Lolita clothing. You know... the frilly dresses with lace... and frills.  Did I mention all the frill?  lol   I just don't know if these are things I should avoid, for the sake of my future husband.

 

....  Corsets and frilly doll-like dresses... and other alternative style clothes...  are these too "out there?"

 

 

Just wondering... Sorry it's so silly a question...

[Anne(Steves wifey)]

Hmmmm I guess it would be safe to say that you can act and dress however you want at home.I think if you were going on base for something that you might want to keep it toned down.But personally I don't think you should have to change who you are.I have a lot of facial piercings and granted I get funny looks sometimes (not only from military people mind you).But I am not gonna take them out for the Navy lol.If my husband were to nicely request that I take them out for some formal type occasion I would be more than happy too.All that being said,I really have no idea if it would look badly upon him,it shouldn't....but we all know what should and shouldn't aren't always the way things are.My closet is full of unrespectable clothes lol I don't go out in public in them too much anymore,people would look at me like I'm insane with my 3 kids in tow with corsets and knee high Dr Martens,but I most definitely have felt comfortable wearing the stuff in front of some of my husbands other sailor friends.This turned out more longwinded than I intended.Maybe just feel out the people you are gonna be around a lot and keep it to a minimum when around major authority.

[ColleenJ]

I think for the most part it's up to you and your sailor as to what you want your appearance to be. I used to have anchor piercings in my chest but I took them out before my sailor's PIR. I had been planning to get them out anyways because they were a pain to deal with but before I told my boyfriend that he specifically asked that I get them taken out.

 

Also, he specifically told me to "dress conservatively" at his PIR, even though he knows I have a pretty conservative style already he just wanted to reiterate that I not look inappropriate for the occasion. 

 

In all honesty, if you have blue hair and/or wear clothes that most people would classify as "out there" it's highly likely that you will get talked about, by the other sailors after PIR and by other spouses once you're on base with him...but as long as your sailor is happy with how you look and you don't care what other people might say then I say dress however you want!! People should get to know you for your personality, not how you look anyways :-)

 

FYI, this is just my experience so far, my boyfriend is only in A school so I can't speak as to how things might be living on a base and possibly having to meet with his CO's or anything like that....hopefully someone with a little more experience being a Navy spouse can give you some more insight :-)

[Squeekerz]

Thanks!  At the moment I look pretty normal. Haha.  Since having my children I haven't dressed the way I used to, and the way I hope to dress in the future. I'm already losing weight, so I'm hoping to fit into my "out there" style clothes in a few months. :P  I do own a corset though, and I love it to death.  It's almost too big though. 

 

But yeah, I'm not as worried about other spouses or sailors, it's just the CO's that I'm worried about.  I don't want them to think the way I am reflects on my husband's ability to be a great sailor.  He's working very hard, and I don't want to ruin that by trying to keep my individualism too much. I probably won't do blue hair or facial piercings, but I've wondered about a tattoo on my forearm, or corsets and frilly dresses.

[Squeekerz]

Thank you guys so much!  For some reason I'm just overly concerned about how things are going to reflect on him!  I am definitely going to be more toned down than I used to be, 'cause I do have children.  The lolita dresses I wish to wear are knee-long, so I don't have to be afraid of looking sleazy, I can definitely just do that for him at home. ;)   I don't know how anything works with the military, so I don't know if we'd be living on base, and if so I don't know if I would get frowned at for taking my kids out while looking like I'm someone that just came out of an anime.   

 

I suppose you're right.  I can try and play it by ear.  I probably will avoid having blue hair again, unless my husband asks me to dye it that way again.  Most likely I'll one day dye it black though. :)

 

 

[Squeekerz]

These are the types of dresses I'm talking about. lol  They're so cute!!  And these four in particular, I'm sorta wanting to get one of them for PIR. :P

 

 

 

 

[Anti M]

The second and fourth ones would look super-cute next to his uniform.

[firepig aka Sonya (Mc's GF)]

totally agree and love them!!!!  Esp the 2nd one!!

[TickledTink]

I like the 2nd one the best.  I think the 4th one is adorable, but looks like it would be really low cut

 

[KLP0824]

Omg I just love these dresses but I would go with either the second or fourth one they are to cute

[Squeekerz]

:D  I thought so too.  Maybe not the first one so much, since it's kind of crazy for a day that should be focused on our SR. Heheh.  I'm liking the second and third ones though... leaning towards the third.   Someone said it might be a bit much for the occasion too though.  :(   I don't want to be laughed at, but I want to look cute for him!!!

[Jess_0411]

Honestly, dress how you want. Your sailor fell in love with you for who you are, so why change? Plus, its not like he's in uniform 24/7. When you go out in the civilian world, no one will know that he is military unless he does something to identify himself as such. Also, I have seen Navy wives dressed all crazy in corsets and high boots and what not before. I'm not saying that they don't get funny stares when they are on base, I'm just saying that you wouldn't be the first and most certainly not the last wife to be seen dressed that way.

 

With that being said, there is times when you need to dress appropiately. The key is to knowing when those times are, and how to dress and act at such times. If you are EVER in a situation where you might be meeting his commanding officers, you should probably keep it toned down and respectful. I always dress super conservative, however, my guideline is that if you wouldn't wear it to church, you probably shouldn't be wearing it to (insert occasion here). The last thing that you want to do is dress in a way that would not only make you and your sailor uncomfortable, but his C.O. as well. And I have seen a few C.O.s get all flustered around wives that are not dressed or acting appropriately.

 

Haha, I will never forget this Christmas party we went to for my husband's command. All of the officers (that weren't on duty), chiefs, enlisted, and wives/fiancees/girlfriends were there. Now for the most part, everyone was dressed pretty conservative, because it was a work function. And even though the drinks were flowing and there was music going, almost everyone was behaving. Except for one girlfriend. She got completley obliderated. It was so bad (but kind of funny). Anyways, she ditched her date, and started dancing with any guy she could get on the dance floor with her. Now, she was wearing this tight tight tight tight strapless dress and was gyrating on this guy right in front of the table were the Captain and the XO and their wives were sitting. And right when she was in the middle of dancing, her boobs just popped right out for everyone to see. The captains face turned SO red, and it was at that point he told her date that he should probably take her home. The captain was embarrassed, the wives were embarrassed, and the sailor was embarrassed. And none of the guys ever let him forget about it either.

 

So I guess my point is be who you are, but know when you need to keep it clean and respectful. The last thing you and your sailor want is for you to be known as THAT wife.

 

 

[Anti M]

A story about "that" wife:
I was hosting a small party for our shop, we had reservists from the states training with us and it was time to relax and get to know them. One of the wives showed up at my house, dressed kinda sloppy/sleazy, tiny tank top and pajama pants. Really? We'd all had drinks, but no one was too bad, until she told one of the reservists to kiss her ass, he said "bare it", and she pulled down her pants... and panties... in my living room! We all gasped and the reservist, who was actually going to kiss that ... euw... he froze. Her husband took her away right then. Poor guy, he was a close friend of mine and he wouldn't quit apologizing.

The rest of the story about her is a long sad tale of how some guys shouldn't marry the stripper they met while on leave.

I know no one here is like her, but women like that give wives a bad name.