Tips for Surviving Nuclear School--Long Distance Relationships

[DissGirl]

Hello ladies.  

Does anyone have any suggestions and/or insight into how to survive the long distance during Nuclear School?  Did anyone else just want to NOT do this and move to SC?  If so, how was that process??

Sincerely,

Struggling....

[Emily-aaronsgirl11]

I did long distance with my Nuke all the way through school up until after his first deployment.

It was rough, but it is possible! 

A school was the worst because it was a huge transition period for us. Even though he had gone to college for a year of our relationship, I wasn't used to him being as social as he was being and being in class for as long as he was. We fought a lot during A school mostly because I wasn't getting the attention I thought I'd be getting and he wasn't getting the time with his friends he wanted to be getting. Eventually we came to a compromise. He gave me one night a week as a Skype date (usually Friday or Saturday night) where it was just the two of us, no video games, no friends, and then I wouldn't be upset when he was out with his friends and not responding when I was wanting to talk. 

You really need to reach an understanding with each other as to what's realistic communication wise. You have to understand that he's putting in very long, stressful hours with school and work, and he needs to realize that if he wants the relationship to last and grow, he has to put in the time to allow for that. 

We got to see each other around every 3 months between him coming home and me going there. Sometimes it was longer, sometimes that was shorter, but it all evened out, and in the end wasn't too awful. You just really have to keep busy whether it's with school or work or extra hobbies to keep your mind off how much you miss him. 

[DissGirl]

To add to this, we did long distance in the fall of 2012 for about 6 months.  We did Skype and texting and calls, and we did fine.  I am just worried about being able to afford to go see him, as well as not being able to talk to him.  I am just having a hard time, and school just seems like it's going to be more of the same...

[Emily-aaronsgirl11]

Is he still in boot camp? If that's what you're thinking school is going to be like, no way! When they're down in school, it's so much more normal communication! The big part is that he can't have his phone in the school building, so he can't talking during the day. I always got a good morning text that he'd send, some days I'd actually set an alarm just to be sure I could get in a few texts in the morning before he left for PT and class. Once he's done with school and studying for the day though, he's free to use his phone to call you, text you, Skype you, write you, whatever. It's not always a ton of time, but it's SO much better than boot camp, like there's no comparison. 

I mean, you're probably not going to get like 3 or 4 hours a night to talk to him, but I heard from my husband every single day he was down in Charleston and I was in Ohio. 

For my husband at least, I was his rock. I was the one that would help him out and keep him going on the bad days and to support him no matter what was going on. Chances are, you're going to be that same thing for your boyfriend, and if that's the case, he'll make sure that he finds the time in his day to talk to you :)

As far as affording to go see him, it's definitely not cheap to fly if you're far enough away that that's required. However, there are affordable places to stay and things to do while you're there. My husband was always willing to help out with the cost of visiting since he wanted me there just as badly as I wanted to be there. Sometimes I'd buy the plane ticket and he'd pay for the hotel, or if money was tight for me, he was able to find the money for my plane ticket also. There are ways to make it work, and if he wants to see you, he'll help make it happen also. 

Do not be discouraged before it even begins! It is completely realistic to make a relationship work, even thrive, while you're thousands of miles apart! We all have bad days, but in the end its all worth it. :)

[DissGirl]

Yes, he's still in boot camp.  He graduates on Feb 7.  I'm in NM and he will be in S.C, so that's over 1,200 miles one way. I'm a teacher trying to save for a wedding, so affording to see him is going to be tight.  My FIANCE ;) wants me to visit, obviously, but it's going to be hard.  We've been together for almost 4 years, so I'm not worried about it not working.  That is the least of my worries LOL

[Emily-aaronsgirl11]

Well it sounds like you're in a great spot and have no reason to worry about anything. 

Just hold out until after boot camp, and you'll see that things will be better. You may not get to see each other as often as you'd like, but the communication will still be much better.

[DissGirl]

Thanks.  :) 

[Beatthisxdgf]

thank you so much for writing this, my boyfriend is in bootcamp right now and i have times when i feel good and times when i break down and alot of the time when im not going good i worry about school and him moving on... is that someting to worry about or am i being crazy? weve been together for 2 years and hes never ever given me a reason to question anything like this but then again we've never been apart for 2 years...

[DissGirl]

You're not alone in that.  Just remember that he's going to be with a bunch of dudes lol Absence makes the heart grow fonder.  I am feeling the same thing, even though we've been together for almost 4 years.  I promise he will miss you and think about you all the time.  And if for some reason it does;t work, then you know it wasn't meant to.  Stay strong!!

[Beatthisxdgf]

Thank you so much! I love how supportive everyone is on here !