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Trouble with communication
Thanks ladies!
Views: 223
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by meagan5220 on
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well I know it sucks but you are going to have to give him time to figure it out. I know we think they get there and just lounge around... its what it feels like sometimes but we have to remember they just got done having everything beyond structured and super rigid. Yes they want to talk to you but on the same note they want to just stop. They want a break. But they actually are usually busy checking in and getting quals done and whatnot. My husband didnt have time for 5 days to get a phone from the NEX. and the phones in pcola were messed up. One of the other girlfriends I was friends with knew he hadnt been able to get to the NEX while it was open so she had her bf let him use his phone to surprise me with a real phone call. I know it soooo sucks bc you just want everything to go back to normal unfortunately it wont ever be "normal" lol it will be Navy normal haha but just talk to him as much as you can and dont push him super hard but remind him how much talking to him would mean to you. He will catch his breath and get back into a better routine
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Permalink Reply by togetherandapart on
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Yea I understand it's going to take some time, it's just really hard. It took some time for me to be ok when he left for bootcamp an I'm sure this will too. And I boy do I know nothing will be normal again. I've learned even before he left to not get my hopes up about things because I'm sure the navy will disappoint both of us all the time. I'm just hoping time goes by fast so I can go spend time with him and actually get a full weekend. Hearig from y'all does help so keep the advice coming. Because my friends and family don't really understand how im feeling or what I'm really going through. So thank you!
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oh I never get my hopes up. I just plan for every occassion. Helps pass the time. I have multiple plans and each plan is made up of subplans that can be interchanged quickly. Being prepared does help quite a bit.
Def be honest with him. Ask him how much he can honestly communicate everyday and then tell him honestly how much you would like to hear from him. I asked my husband to at least call me when he woke up, when he got done with class if he didnt have to study or have watch and before he went to sleep just to say I love you at least. so once we hammered out my wishes and hopes with the reality of how often he could actually call we found a happy medium that worked quite well! Get ready for 4 am calls. My husband called me before PT every morning lol. but when they are deployed typically their days are our nights so you will get lots of calls and emails in the middle of the night lol :)
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Yea he is in SC for A school in the nuclear program. He is and EM and I think he starts school next Monday, right now he is just doing pt and some other stuff and doing Indoc which means he's just cleaning and stuff. But he gets done around 3 but that will change next week so I want to wait to find a routine that we can do every day but I will talk to him and figure out a routine on when he can talk and has time. I've told him to call me when he wakes up but I think he's so tired in the morning he doesnt think about it. Kling what is your sailor doing maybe mine has meet him. Lol idk how all he is around.
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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My nephew is a nuke EM, now on a sub.
Definitely wait until he is in A school and starts studying to know how much time that will take to get into a routine. And then it will all change for Power School, they can be in class for up to 14 hours a day. Nuke school is insane, so expect some bumpy times... it's the Navy, it's not him, it's not you. It will be better, but not so much right away.
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Permalink Reply by missa_m on
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My then boyfriend and I were apart during his A school in SC (he's an MM) last year and the first couple of weeks are the oddest! You never really know what their schedule is because they are in INDOC and attending introductory classes (financial planning, the don'ts of underage drinking and drinking/driving, etc) and doing PT. Once they class up and attend class regularly, both of you will figure out when to have to phone or skype dates, I promise. You just have to understand that those might be very early on the day or late at night (especially if he has mandatory study hours he needs to complete each day). Communication will get easier (dare I say routine), but it will not always be constant or long.
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Well kling my boyfriend is actually roommates with an ET and I think he is around a lot of other ET's but who knows. But yea he is in Indoc and he's ready to start school. He's getting bored, hasn't gotten a tv or cable or anything and the computer he has isn't really working so he just has his phone to look on stuff. So he is really ready to start school and have something to fill up the day. But I got to Skype him tonight and it was nice. Talking has been a lot better today he texted me good morning when he got up and then we have been talking to each other since he's gotten off today at 3. So it has been a lot better today. Now to just wait and see what routine we can get into when school starts. But I told him as soon as he gets phase 2 and things settle out I told him to get me to SC as soon as possible. He also told me if he works his butt off there might be a possibility that he would get leave for 4th of July. But not getting my hopes up about anything not even going to think about it. Just trying to be in the now and enjoy our conversation.
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Yea that would be cool. Yea hopefully we can start planning for me to come out there. I really hope its soon because we didn't get enough time after graduation. But yea he's getting pretty bored but school starts for him next monday and he's excited. He got off early today for doing a good job on something but he wasn't sure what he was going to to with that extra time lol.
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Yea we are going to have find a new routine. But I'm sure it wont be that hard to find another routine didnt take but a couple of days for us to get into a little routine for talking to each other. I think we are trying to plan a little something for me to come out for his birthday which is the 1st of August. But it would be on a wednesday so hopefully he will be able to leave right after class and we can go have dinner for his birthday or something. But im just ready for this summer to be over with. Lol thats the first time Ive ever thought that.
Ive always couldnt wait for summer but now I cant wait for it to be over. Im living 5 hours from home right now cuz I went for school but I really dont want to be there anymore but I have a job for the summer that I need to go back for. Only a lil more of this month and then July hope it goes by fast so I can go see my sailor!
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Permalink Reply by Emily-aaronsgirl11 on
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My now husband is a Nuke. :) He's an EM, too! He was in SC from March 2010 till October 2011.
I do remember this feeling... He didn't have his phone for the first week he was there so it sucked. Communication during A school is usually pretty good though. :) He won't be able to use his phone during the day really, but once he's done studying for the night, he's free! And he can't leave base during the week for the first month so he won't have too much else to do but sit in his room. Once he gets internet going in his barracks room you can Skype and chat on Facebook. Cell phone service sucks in their rooms down there though... I do remember that.
It's just an adjustment. And the adjustment periods suck. Once you two can get on a schedule and learn what the other needs in terms of communication and freedom, it will get better. Just give it time. :) Aaron and I fought a lot during A school, but he finally learned that I needed a little bit of his free time in order to make the relationship work.
If you have any questions or need someone to talk to, please feel free to message me. :) While that time in my life was 2 years ago, I remember it vividly. Be patient and know that better communication will come! :)
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Yea he has internet already but the computer he has is messed up but apparently his roommate is going to help him build his own computer. But the cell phone service does suck and he has to sit in a special spot to get service. lol Hopefully we wont fight that much I think since we wont get to see each other that much he will want to talk and he will understand that. Hopefully...
I want to try and plan something to come up there for New years eve but I dont know if he will get leave for holiday im not sure how all this works. lol
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Like the other A schools, nuke A schools and power school shut down over the Christmas holiday. Two weeks is usual, although I have heard of just a week, either Christmas or New Years. You can count on some holiday leave, although I'd have to look at a calender to estimate the time frame. They should be back the Tuesday after the first Monday in January of 2013. Guessing, of course. They should look at how much leave they have on the books now and how much they will have earned (2.5 days a month), and not waste days earlier in the year.
Also, you want them to be back a day early and not run the risk of delayed flights/weather. Even if it isn't completely their fault, they can get in trouble.
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