trying to cope

[bagsgirl13]

Hello! This is my first time on here and my bf just left Monday for boot camp. How does anyone cope with a loved one starting a good thing for themselves but at the same time it is also a sad thing? I miss him and love him like crazy, I'm just having a really hard time trying to deal with it. Not being able to pick up the phone and talk to him so difficult. Please help.

[Angelicaloveeee]

You have to hang in there and try to keep yourself busy. Pick up a new hobby. or start writing your letters.

[bagsgirl13]

For the most part I have stayed as busy as I can but sometimes when I have down time is when it gets to me but picking up a new hobby will hopefully help. I started writing my letters the next day after he left. It does help and calms me down as well. Thank you though.

[arianap]

My boyfriend just left on Monday/Tuesday as well. It has been really difficult not talking to him. I can handle not being able to hold him and be with him but its the talking and support that it has been so hard without the past few days. Every time that I get really upset about it I think of how proud I am of him. He put in a ton of work to do this and this is what he wants for his life. I miss him a ton but am more proud of him than anything. I look forward to getting his address and writing him letters. So far him leaving has made me appreciate him more than ever. I have tried to keep my self busy with things to distract me. Its still difficult but it helps when I have distractions.

[Daisy]

Hi there!! :( I know exactly what you are going through. My husband left tues/Wed and it has truly been a roller coaster for me. We have 2 daughters, ages 3 and 1.. The 3 year old is constantly asking when Daddy is coming home and everything around me reminds me of him lol, it's almost like I'm grieving but then I stop and think.. Man, when I think I have it bad.. Someone out there has it worse so I just need to get it together!! It works for a while then I'm back to crying like a total dork! Ha. I'm hoping this will pass and I'm sure when we receive their letters it will put us at ease..(hopefully) hehe. What job is your boyfriend gonna so after BC?

[bagsgirl13]

I can't imagine having kids and going through this. I should be cheering for you. :) I'm sure it's hard for you and your kids. I had the same feeling about the grieving. So I can relate to that. I just keep telling myself that he is coming back and it is going to be ok. I cry too and I just think some people are like why are you crying or they think omg it'll be ok. I just feel like telling them you come back and talk to me when you really understand. So it's ok to cry. I think I'll be at ease and I'll probably cry when I get that first letter. lol. Mine went to do aviation. (I think I spelled that right). hahaha.  What about yours?

[Daisy]

Aviation.. That's a good one! Best of luck to you both. I think having my kids makes it tougher on me because he is such an involved daddy so his presence is definitely felt around the house. Yesterday was probably my worse day yet.. I was super emotional with million things running through my head because I spoke to a friend and her husband works on a submarine (Navy as well) and he is on a 6 month deployment.. So I totally started panicking and started thinking OMG, what if this happens to us when she gets out of A school?!! Totally got myself stressing over it but I think I finally knocked some sense into myself lol.. And calmed down. Anyway, I've started writing letters everyday to keep him in the loop about what is going on with me and the kiddos and I've actually find that it puts me at ease.. So that's a plus.. I'm excited to find out his Address is so I can start sending and receiving!! Guess just taking it a day at a time is the motto.. Just have to keep reminding myself to do that. Hope you're feeling better tho..I'm sure your hubby misses you just as much! ;)

[arianap]

That must be really hard with kids though. I have a niece and she hasn't asked about my bf yet but I know she will, she always does. She's used to someone being gone for a while though because her dads in the army. Yeah, that is deffinitley true. I'm glad my man is somewhere safe at least and there are other people who have it so much worse. I am so looking forward to the letters. I just wrote my first one sense he left and it made me feel so much better writing it. My bf is going to be an MMS. A mechanic on Subs!

[bagsgirl13]

distractions are a very good thing right now. They have helped me a lot.

[UrabissWife]

when my husband left it was super hard during the nights b/c it was nothing but time to think. so I would write him letters. he got sooo much mail :) remember to write uplifting words in your letters, no matter how hard it is for you, don't let him know that, he needs some strong words :)

[UrabissWife]

try to snag his T shirt from his box that he sends home.... I kept my husbands under my pillow b/c it smelled like him :) it really helped

[bagsgirl13]

I appreciate the advice on the letters. I did mention that I had cried in a couple of them but maybe I'll rewrite them. After I read your post though I haven't written anything like that in any of the letters since. I think his mom is keeping the shirt from the box which is ok because I do have one right next to me when I go to sleep.

[UrabissWife]

you don't have to re write them girl. its always nice to hear missed if you know what I mean :)