Wedding Timing and being a New Navy Wife

[Ashley]

First, I would like to thank the creator of this forum! I feel like this is going to be my lifeline to pull me through this new adventure. My fiance and I have been together for 7 years now (highschool sweethearts) and have been engaged for 3 of those years. He only recently decided that this was the direction he wanted to take his future in. I fully support his decision 100% but I am still pretty nervous about it. We began the adventure of ASVAB testing and two trips to MEPs to find he would be leaving much sooner then I planned. He ships out June 9th so I have just a few months left with him before he starts boot camp. One thing I have questioned was the time frame we should get married around. I was just wondering if any wives/finances have gone through this process or are going through it currently. When did you get married, between boot and a school or after a school? I don't want to put any pressure on him though during this big change so I am just looking for guidance on what worked well for all of those who became new wives at this stressful time. I know that its not a good idea to get married before boot camp since it can delay him but his Recruiter said anytime after boot is best. Thank you for your time and honest answers!

[abuon18]

Don't listen to his recruiter. The BEST time to get married is BEFORE boot camp. Recruiters tell you to wait because they don't want to do additional paperwork but honestly most people who waited until after bootcamp will tell you they wish they would have known & gotten married before boot camp. If you can get married before he leaves for boot camp do it. And do it as soon as possible so his recruiter has time to process the paperwork. He won't get in trouble for it. You will save yourselves so much headache if you do it now!

[Meridith_21]

Before boot camp if possible (even a civil court ceremony then have a big ceremony later). That way his contract will have you as a dependent (it is a lot easier that way). Also, you have to be married before to get BAH, which in most cases is at least $1000 depending on where you live. I am sure he helps split the cost of living if you live together, so losing that income could hurt. Trying to plan a wedding during a school or after could be really stressful, and alot of his times aren't going to be set in stone until later. Also, if you are not married before he gets his orders cut, which is usually the beginning of A school, you run the risk of his orders be unaccompanied and being sent overseas or to an area where you are not allowed to go with him. It is really hard to get his orders changed after they are issued.

My husband and I planned our wedding before he joined for all these reasons, and we think it was the best option. A lot less paperwork and stress you have to deal with down the road!

[Lizzie_Corpsmanwife]

Honestly, I would do it before basic girl cause my husband and I have been married almost two years, he graduates next Friday :) and we had no issues with pay or anything.  I have heard if you wait til last minute your BAH and sep pay will take a while to process so if you can, do a small wedding soon.  If you wait the paperwork may take longer but who knows.  And know things constantly change in the Navy, learned that through women here, so it's all up to you, just our insight :)

[EmilyNicole98]

Yes, get married NOW!!! You will save yourself a world of headache! He will not be allowed to get married after boot camp graduation so you will not have another chance until he reaches phase 3 in A-school. This can take several weeks to several months. Getting the chits approved during school is hard, too. Your best bet, by far, is to do it before he leaves for bootcamp. This will also double his pay because of the housing allowance and it will reduce the chance of him getting overseas orders. 

*Also if you're hoping for a traditional wedding with lots of family and friends...try to do it now before he joins. It is so, so stressful to plan one of those once he's in! There's constantly a worry about them deploying or going out to sea and venues are not very forgiving when it comes to that. We were one of the few lucky ones that were able to pull it off, and the only reason it worked is because he deployed immediately upon graduating A-school and his ship then went into the yards upon their return.