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When can we be together and get married?!
My fiance is in A school, phase 2, and we were told by his recruiter to wait til he starts A school to get married. Not a huge wedding that hes gonna need time off for, just go down to the courts and have it legal. I'm sick of staying in hotels and wasting money. Does anyone know anything more on this subject? Such as when we can really get my life and his together. I know i cant look at housing until were married either so all this waiting and pushing back is really hurting me because i don't want to blame him not loving me the same for why we aren't married. its the navy being indecisive.. right?
Please help me, i'm new and hate feeling stupid or like a nagging fiance..
Thank You.
Day Moran. <3
Views: 325
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by abuon18 on
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He needs to talk to his chain of command. There is probably paperwork to fill out and he may have to go to classes. Tell him he needs to have that done like yesterday before you can get married. Unfortunately there is nothing YOU can do at this point from the Navy standpoint.
What you can do... Have you looked up the county's marriage laws? You have to apply for a marriage license. Some states require both of you to be present and some states also have a waiting period- ex. In Florida both people have to be present to get the license & there is a 3 day waiting period. Some states also have exceptions for military- so much sure you are informed! -
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Permalink Reply by DayMoran on
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He said he went to his slpo or something? is he talking to the wrong guy or is that the same thing?
Yeah i have looked all the laws of marriage in goose creek and applied.
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If he talked to someone & they were not able to help he he just needs to keep going higher up. Just tell him to talk to his chief and find out what he needs to do. His chief is the one who has to approve everything, all the paperwork, the time off if he is requesting it, etc. so he may as well start there! He's a Nuke? They have much stricter rules for marriage too, like certain phaaes of school they are allowed to get married during and what not.
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Permalink Reply by NicoleRucker on
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My fiance is also in A School, he's in Pensacola. we are getting married in two weeks and have been trying to get everything put together. He needs to go to his chief, he will basically walk you guys through it, and give your fiance a chit that he has to fill out. My guy had to go through a cores through the Chaplin (took about 2 hours) and had to set up a budget through the navy. Abouon18 is right, there really isn't anything you can do for the Navy bit, but you can make sure you have everything put together. Know the laws of the county where you are getting married (Pensacola doesn't have a waiting period if you are from out of state) Also, have you looked up any information about DEERS or your Military ID, or his Page 2 updated?
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Permalink Reply by Valerie on
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Hi Nicole! I just read your post and was wondering how long has your fiance been in A school? My fiance will be leaving for boot camp 1/23/13 and will attend A school in Pensacola as well, and we are planning on getting married while he is in school. Just trying to get as much information as I can, any information you can provide would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks, Valerie!
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Permalink Reply by meagan5220 on
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Like the other girls said he needs to do the paperwork. You might have to kick his butt in gear. Just let him know that its on him to get this legwork done and you cant do anything. So basically let him know its time for him to step up. On your end just start researching laws for where you are getting married, make sure you have all the papers you need to get married, change your name if you want, add yourself to his page 2. Also, depending on what A school he is at he might not be allowed base housing or allowed to live with you. He needs to look into that as well.
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Permalink Reply by Cora 8_5 on
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oh, that sounds painful.
i will say prayers for you two.
can you just accept that this is how it is right now, but that this will pass? it is not forever? if you can, i think you will find this time to be sepcial instead of a PIA. maybe take cooking, or organizing 101 or kids development or whatever so you will be busy and better prepared for military life.
Margaret
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its hard to tell if hes hesitant or overwhelmed. his family doesnt really get that involed in his life i guess? he mentioned it to them but i dont know that hes telling them that hes marrying me now until we have a ceremony. this is just the paper for it so we can live together and save money.
i'll try to keep you all posted, its just waiting now.
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Permalink Reply by Popeye'sBabyGirl on
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Girl,
I'm with you! My man is trying to get his paperwork together and finishing up C-school this month. But his squadron is currently deployed and we have NO idea where or what he'll be doing in a month. I set our wedding date for next May, thinking that with more time we could be flexible and give plenty of notice. But now I'm thinking a weekend courthouse wedding would be ideal.
I know how you feel about the frustration of not knowing how to get the answers you want. Just hang in there. I felt the same way about his leave request this last August and out of nowhere it got approved and he was back in my arms. What I'm learning is sometimes no answers doesn't mean no. It just means wait. Hope we can both learn to be more patient! Praying for you! :) -
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thank you and it sounds like you are so close. im happy for you, i;m sure we will get our chance soon enough.
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Permalink Reply by shannon04 on
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I feel like T and I just did this dance, we've been together for five years and really wanted to get married. We waited until he was in phase 3 so he had overnight liberty on the weekends.(that was a personal choice because I wanted to be selfish and not have to get him back and forth to base all weekend) I think the one thing that I can tell you is that depending on the time that he will be in school I would maybe do it soon (ish). T's school is 14 weeks and we knew that once he got orders I would be on my own for housing and all that happy mess. My advice is have him talk to the chaplain on base, because he will have to do that before he gets married anyway and have him get the scoop right from the source.
I say all this but I want to let you know that we're still sorting everything out with the Navy. He is still working on getting me on Page 2. While the ID card and Tri Care was easy, but it would not have been BUT we were told to get a power of attorney so he could be in class while I handled the paperwork that I was able to. *my advice on that is make an appointment 2 weeks before you plan to go get married, because being a walk in sucked and I sat there for about three hours before I was able to get a spot. Also if I were you I would know his social, because that is military gold and will be the only way you will be able to be added to the DEERS program by yourself.
DM me if you need anything and I will try to help
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