Worried about my boyfriend changing after bootcamp !

[Amanda]

So my boyfriend left today 6/27/17 for his navy bootcamp and he's there already. Can someone tell me how it's like after bootcamp , would he be able to communicate with me? Also if i send him mail , would he be able to reply?

Also can someone give me advice please on how to cope with this whole navy thing. We've been dating for about a few months and it got really serious but i'm scared that he's going to forget about me or lose interest. Also i'm not used to a long distance relationship .

[Allison]

You may send him letters in bootcamp, but you'll have to wait until he sends his first letter home or to you, it may be handwritten or it may be his form letter that tells just his address and when he graduates. You may also send photos, but obviously everything needs to be appropriate, no profanity, pornography, drug/sex/violence/discriminatory/derogatory references etc.. He may or may not get a couple phone calls, but only two are guaranteed, his first to let someone know he has arrived safely, and his last saying he has completed battle stations (the final, interactive assessment) and has become a sailor. The first will be 30sec or so, the last may be anywhere from 30sec to an hour depending on a lot of factors. One thing you can do to be supportive is understand that no matter how many secret letters he writes at night or how many phone calls he gets, there's never going to be enough time for him to stay in touch with everyone, so don't be upset if he gets a phone call and chooses to call a relative or friend, or if he calls or writes you, update the people you know would like to hear how he's doing.

Bootcamp is also extremely stressful, and it takes a large toll on your emotions, it is designed to do so, especially in the first 4-5 weeks, so be prepared for a range of emotions for the first month or so ranging from short patience to tears to silence, sometimes even a little too happy. It's different for everyone. I'll admit I cried a lot, but not because it was hard, I was just so tired lol. My husband cried a little but was also very short tempered. Support him through all of them and don't let it start arguments between you, it will get better towards the end of bootcamp and when he graduates.

He will look different next time you see him. I can't say how because it's very dependent on his lifestyle before. My husband lost weight, I gained. My husband lost muscle (he was very active before), and I got stronger (I wouldn't run for my life before basic).

He's going to start speaking "Navy" and may forget you don't know what he's talking about. I highly recommend getting a copy of the Blue Jacket's Manual, you can find them really cheap online because there are so many copies. I found it actually saves time on phone calls to when you don't have to explain everything you're talking about. It will be the most accurate source of info, as it is one of the books he will be issued to study from in training.

After leaving basic, recruits tend to be very stiff. It's habit, they beat it into you in training, but it will go away as they adjust to having freedom and simple comforts back. Be patient.

Do not rush into marriage. It's very common after bootcamp, and I can relate and understand, but I think the part people forget about is that once you pack up and move across the country, you can't necessarily just pack back up and turn around if it doesn't work out. Military relationships will be long distance no matter what at some point, so no matter what people say about "it's easier to do it now" or "well if you want to get married one day anyway" just take your time. I'm not saying this as a bitter wife, my husband and I got this advice, and we took it, and we've been successful. I just like to remind others to really think about it before jumping in. Excluding those A school days and time in low ranks, getting married doesn't really change anything except benefits. I know you didn't mention it, but just in case the subject does come up,like I said, it is very common during this time.

Welcome to the Navy family :). I hope I helped at least somewhat. If you have any more questions, I'm always here to help.

[Lauren]

That helped me a lot, thank you! I've been debating getting married asap to feel more secure and/or taken seriously in the navy lifestyle. But that helps the advice to wait til you are ready. Wait til you want it and not to jump into that.
I ordered the Blue Jacket's Manual just now. Thank you for your help!
I feel blessed finding this forum:)

[Allison]

Oh, as for coping with Navy life in general, patience is key. Always have 3-4 back up plans. Don't expect anything to happen until it is literally happening in front of you lol. No news is always good news, the navy is very good about informing the right people if anything goes wrong, so if you're not hearing from him, it's a good thing. If he doesn't come home from a deployment when he's supposed to and you haven't heard anything, he's okay. Depending on his rate (job), he may be able to tell you everything, or he might not be able to say anything. The navy will take good care of him. I also recommend getting enrolled in rewards with a hotel chain and possibly something with airline miles as a benefit haha. On a personal level, i also like to have projects to keep me busy, but I'm more creative. Work or school is a good option, volunteering, anything that you enjoy that can keep you busy. It will also help you feel a little less like your life revolves around the navy because I won't lie, it can feel like that sometimes, with my husband the navy always comes first, and while I totally understand that, it still sucks sometimes haha.

[Amanda]

thank you so much !

[Michael]

Once you get a address write him everyday and I mean it my husband loved it. Now you will hear this more then once the navy come first you come second in everything. That is something every spouses gets used to, but my husband does not believe that i come first that's what he tells me but I know I'm reality the navy is number 1 period. Next do not rush marriage take it from me my grandfather was married twice because the wife could not handle the navy lifestyle. Next stay out of spouses/ girlfriend drama yes there is drama and it dumb. Lastly long distance is good as you can't rush things you can putbtrue feelings on paper and it makes you sit and wait for the mailman and attack him or her when they get to your post box. Many spouses and other halves know exactly what I am talking about lol. Boot camp is stressful the man you knew going in will not be the man you meet at graduation. He will be reprogrammed I gurentee it. But he will
Bounce back. That's the navy's job to get bad habits out and make him a sailor to survive. I used to laugh at my husband when he talk to me a curtain way and told him yeah I won't stand for you talking to me like I am some kind of maid he snapped out really quick. Also being in the navy family some of the things they told him made me laugh I can't do they we can't do that my grandfather would laugh and say yes you can that was all part of your training but here's the real world. So be patient let your love grow through letters and still live your life. Your young. The people in here are great.

[Amanda]

thank you all for giving me this advice . I truly appreciate it !!!!

[Amanda]

Things are great i think i was just worried for no reason. He actually called me from bootcamp to tell me he really misses me. I think its normal to panic but if the love is strong everything will be okay.