This site is for mothers of kids in the U.S. Navy and for Moms who have questions about Navy life for their kids.



Choose your Username.  For the privacy and safety of you and/or your sailor, NO LAST NAMES ARE ALLOWED, even if your last name differs from that of your sailor (please make sure your URL address does not include your last name either).  Also, please do not include your email address in your user name. Go to "Settings" above to set your Username.  While there, complete your Profile so you can post and share photos and videos of your Sailor and share stories with other moms!

Make sure to read our Community Guidelines and this Navy Operations Security (OPSEC) checklist - loose lips sink ships!

Join groups!  Browse for groups for your PIR date, your sailor's occupational specialty, "A" school, assigned ship, homeport city, your own city or state, and a myriad of other interests. Jump in and introduce yourself!  Start making friends that can last a lifetime.

Link to Navy Speak - Navy Terms & Acronyms: Navy Speak

All Hands Magazine's full length documentary "Making a Sailor": This video follows four recruits through Boot Camp in the spring of 2018 who were assigned to DIV 229, an integrated division, which had PIR on 05/25/2018. 

Boot Camp: Making a Sailor (Full Length Documentary - 2018)

Boot Camp: Behind the Scenes at RTC

...and visit - America's Navy and also Navy Live - The Official Blog of the Navy to learn more.

OPSEC - Navy Operations Security

Always keep Navy Operations Security in mind.  In the Navy, it's essential to remember that "loose lips sink ships."  OPSEC is everyone's responsibility. 

DON'T post critical information including future destinations or ports of call; future operations, exercises or missions; deployment or homecoming dates.  

DO be smart, use your head, always think OPSEC when using texts, email, phone, and social media, and watch this video: "Importance of Navy OPSEC."

Follow this link for OPSEC Guidelines:



**UPDATE 4/26/2022** Effective with the May 6, 2022 PIR 4 guests will be allowed.  Still must be fully vaccinated to attend.

**UPDATE as of 11/10/2022 PIR vaccination is no longer required.

**UPDATE 7/29/2021** You now must be fully vaccinated in order to attend PIR:

In light of observed changes and impact of the Coronavirus Delta Variant and out of an abundance of caution for our recruits, Sailors, staff, and guests, Recruit Training Command is restricting Pass-in-Review (recruit graduation) to ONLY fully immunized guests (14-days post final COVID vaccination dose).  


RTC Graduation

**UPDATE 8/25/2022 - MASK MANDATE IS LIFTED.  Vaccinations still required.

**UPDATE 11/10/22 PIR - Vaccinations no longer required.


Please note! Changes to this guide happened in October 2017. Tickets are now issued for all guests, and all guests must have a ticket to enter base. A separate parking pass is no longer needed to drive on to base for parking.

Please see changes to attending PIR in the PAGES column. The PAGES are located under the member icons on the right side.

Format Downloads:

Latest Activity

Navy Speak

Click here to learn common Navy terms and acronyms!  (Hint:  When you can speak an entire sentence using only acronyms and one verb, you're truly a Navy mom.)

N4M Merchandise

Shirts, caps, mugs and more can be found at CafePress.

Please note: Profits generated in the production of this merchandise are not being awarded to the Navy or any of its suppliers. Any profit made is retained by CafePress. Para Familias

Visite esta página para explorar en su idioma las oportunidades de educación y carreras para sus hijos en el Navy.



Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors


Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors

Hello my name is Keisha and i am the creator of this group. Thanks for joining and i hope that all the advice this group gives is helpful

Please, if you no longer want to be a part of N4M's consider NOT deleting your profile as everything you have ever posted will disappear when you delete it .  You can leave a group but don't permanently delete your profile!

Location: From Atlanta, GA all the way to Cali-forn-i-a now in Washington State
Members: 3875
Latest Activity: Feb 3

I'm a Navy Wife and I created this group back when I was a girlfriend and my now husband had gone to bootcamp. Its funny because i joined this website when they had under 50 members. This website has been sooooo helpful and I met so many people on here that gave great advice. I made this group so that we could all come together and give eachother advice and share ideas. I see that this group is growing more and more by the day, Im happy to see that because so many wives/fiances/and girlfriends are clueless when it comes the military lifestyle. Not knowing what to expect and not knowing about deployments, bootcamp, duty stations, etc. I want this to be the place you all recommend because so many people on this site are knowledgeable and very helpful. Once again thanks for joining my group and i hope you get all the information you need. I dont get to log on as much as i used to but i try my best to get on here. So if u have any questions feel free to make a discussion topic and Im positive that it will get answered if not, inbox me :-) Take Care ♥

Discussion Forum

Help needed!!

Started by Nia. Last reply by Nia Sep 7, 2022. 4 Replies

Hi everyone! My name is Nia, I’m new here. I just have a question that have been giving me anxiety lately. So my boyfriend has been emailing me every morning and sometimes night overseas, and then suddenly the flow has stopped out of no where. I’ve…Continue


Started by Mykenzie Apr 1, 2022. 0 Replies

Hi ladies!I just would love some advice on this current topic my significant other and i are having currently. without saying too much he’s enlisted in the navy and i am currently a university student. his work peers really value his work and his…Continue

Graduation coming up

Started by Kelly Jan 9, 2022. 0 Replies

Hi,Im new here and I am glad that I found a group that share my confusion during new path of couple life. My boyfriend is due to graduate on the 28th and I am so sad I can't make it to see him. Mainly cause he only had two invites and family comes…Continue

Hubby shipping off to BC June 24!

Started by TARA. Last reply by Kaylee Sep 29, 2020. 1 Reply

Hi Everyone,I am new to this group and would like to say how thankful I am for finding a community of Navy wives, fiancés and girlfriends who can lend support to each other.  A short background of our Navy journey - my guy wanted to sign up as EM…Continue

New here!

Started by Linda Jane. Last reply by Kaylee Sep 29, 2020. 4 Replies

Hi. I just joined last night. I wanted to introduce myself. I’m linda. My boyfriend is in Great Lakes now for basic training ship 02 Div 950. Then after graduation he immediately ships off to A school in SC. This is all extremely new to me and his…Continue

Fiancé Advice

Started by Lauren C. Last reply by astc Sep 26, 2019. 5 Replies

My fiance just joined the Navy and was sent off to bootcamp this week. We've been together for almost six years and we plan to get married after bootcamp is over.> I was hoping you could tell me if waiting until bootcamp is over was the smart…Continue

Good neighborhoods around Great Lakes IL??

Started by Artfulmind. Last reply by WCK110658 Jul 9, 2019. 3 Replies

Hi everyone! Hubs, baby, and I will be stationed in Great Lakes soon was wondering if anyone new of some good safe family friendly neighborhoods to rent a place? We don't mind being a half hour or so away from base. Heard the surrounding…Continue

Tags: moving, chicago, illinois, Lakes, Great

Hello Everyone!

Started by mommasett. Last reply by Anti M Mar 27, 2019. 1 Reply

Happy Hump day to all!! I am new here and I am so glad that I have found this group! I am hoping it helps in my journey with my boyfriend and understanding his Navy Life a little better. Continue

POA to get a military i.d.

Started by Hafaadai. Last reply by Ib_vv_N Feb 23, 2019. 7 Replies

Hi! My SR left for BC on 28th of Nov. I received THE BOX on Dec. 6th. Still waiting on his form letter, personal letter and DEERS. He did not leave me a POA before he left because the recruiter said we won’t really need it until he gets out of BC.…Continue

sending photos

Started by lifesimplified Feb 20, 2019. 0 Replies

My boyfriend shipped out on 2/11/19.  I just received his box but no form letter yet.  As soon as I get his address, I will be writing him daily and sending many photos.  I read somewhere on this forum that the recruits must show all photos to the…Continue

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors to add comments!

Comment by Kaylee on September 29, 2020 at 2:57pm
Hi!! Im new to this navy stuff?! What does duty day intail it sounds so stressful and I want to understand it more! My boyfriend is in the navy and im kinda freaking out on what duty day is?!
Comment by Paige on June 8, 2020 at 7:20pm

Hi you all I have a quick question..My Husband has been in the Navy for 5 years now, he's an E-3 and he's never been on deployment and was only on the ship during his first year for 6 months at dock. Shortly after he went on LIMDU for over a year due to a minor injury on the ship & mental health.

He has been at this facility where sailors who are recovering from LIMDU or separating for the past 4 years and has failed multiple Sea Duty Screenings historically to present, along with his E-4 exams to rank yet was able to re-enlist last year in December. 

I read an article that any Sailor that can't deploy for any reason will be involuntarily separated. Is their a chance that my Husband can be separated or his situation a normal circumstance and would he be able to re-enlist again in 2 years with his current situation? Thank You

Comment by B'sNukeMoM⚓️MMN(Vet) on May 8, 2020 at 11:35am

See the source image

Comment by Allison on March 7, 2020 at 3:37pm

He shouldn’t just not support you if he has the means to help you, but if it takes all of his base pay and BAH for him to survive with just the essentials in VA, yes, he can do that. Obviously he should be sticking to a tight budget and cutting back on whatever he can to have more to help support you and your child, but I know just the couple months we were apart while I finished some classes, it was a little rough, even though I worked full time. He was in the barracks during that time, so no BAH for me or OHA for him. It can work though, and I hope you guys are able to make it work too. 

One thing to be prepared for is that if you guys can’t make it work where everything is getting paid, everyone is clean and fed, and has the basic necessities etc. is that there can be consequences for him for that. Financial stability is really important in the Navy, more so too if he holds a security clearance. They have great, free resources on base for financial planning that you guys should look into as you prepare for this change. I believe you would contact Fleet and Family for them. 

Comment by Paige on March 7, 2020 at 1:05pm

Okay I understand, thank you for the help. :)

Comment by Allison on March 7, 2020 at 12:58pm

I gave the long version first because the short version sounds harsh on its own. The short version to answer your question is that your husband has a right to military provided accommodations, in the form of actual accommodations OR funds to find them nearby, which he is getting right now. He will either have a barracks or BAH to find an apartment. The military doesn’t owe or promise you, as a spouse, anything because you aren’t the one with the contract. Yes, they provide service members with BAH to help support their families, but the benefit is coming from their contract, for their promised accommodations. If you CHOOSE  not to live with him, you’re pretty much SOL because they don’t owe you anything. Emphasis on choose because it’s different if the military forces service members and their families to be separated. 

Comment by Paige on March 7, 2020 at 12:52pm

Thank You all for the help. So I understand, my Husband is allowed to use all the BAH and Base pay? Could he leave us with not having enough money to support our financial needs for our child and I? I just want to make sure I understand

Comment by Allison on March 7, 2020 at 12:40pm

Hi Paige,

When a service member is a geo-bachelor it basically means that the family is welcome and able to move with the sailor, but they CHOOSE not to. So my first piece of advice is that if for any reason that’s not correct, like his orders are unaccompanied/you’re not sponsored by command, you or your child need access to services that this base cannot provide, you’re legally separated, etc. he needs to talk to his command and PSD about that. But if at the end of the day you are in fact just choosing not to live with your spouse for any number of other valid reasons like cost of living, school, family support, anticipation of long deployments/shifts etc., he is in fact a geo-bachelor. 

So normally, how housing for service members works is that they are allowed only one form of housing. There are some exceptions like when a sailor is in a long A or C school, training, or routine cruises and required to have a barracks room but also “live ashore” (basically just not a barracks or ship) with their families, or sailors on deployments that have accommodations on the ship but also have a home with their families. But essentially the standard is you get one form of “free” accommodation. 

When a sailor and his family choose to do geo-bachelor tours, they may, though obviously not always, be able to get a free or low cost barracks room while also receiving their BAH, this is command dependent and based on mainly on accommodations they have available. So when his command says they’re not accepting anymore geo-bachelors, what they’re probably saying is they don’t have the space in the barracks to give rooms to sailors that have access to other accommodations, so he has to choose. His options become either move into the barracks and give up your BAH, or use your BAH to move out into town. I’ve heard cost of living there is high, though I don’t know first hand, which is probably why he’s saying he’d need all of it. Unfortunately, this is the situation, and there’s really nothing you can do to get the BAH, it’s a use it or lose it situation, and if he uses it, he’s obviously going to need it to live. 

Hopefully this helps :) 

Comment by abuon18 on March 6, 2020 at 11:48pm

He will receive BAH for one location. It is up to his command whether they pay him BAH for where you and your son are or for where he is. Chances are, they will pay the BAH rate for where he is in VA. That is used to pay for housing, whether that is yours or his, but he will only receive BAH for one location. You do not receive BAH for two homes because it is expected that your dependents will live with you. So when he gets his BAH it is up to you and your husband to decide how you want to pay for housing. It will not be enough to pay for housing for both him and you across the country so likely, he will have to use his regular pay to supplement. Depending on whatever other bills you have to pay, this may not really be a feasible plan.

You should strongly consider moving to where he is stationed.
Comment by Paige on March 6, 2020 at 8:54pm

Hi you all, I know I've had previous questions about this topic, but I need clarification on BAH & Base Pay. So my Husband got a new set of orders to stay on land duty in Oceana, VA. He has a barracks he can stay at, but he said they will take the entire BAH if he stays there, he said they no longer accept Geo bachelors that have dependents. My husband also said that his command told him that he is entitled to BAH and Base pay, and that if he needs to get an apartment, he can use his Base pay and BAH to do so. I'm getting so many different answers from Navy, and I'm not sure if he can use BAH or even a portion of it to get an apartment. I live across the country with our child who is starting school and my Husband will be moving with us when his contract is over in 3 years. What are my rights regarding BAH and what are his? Thank You kindly


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