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Comment by Nancy on April 12, 2010 at 1:15pm

Haleymay- What a way to brighten your day! He sounds like such a sweetheart for being so detail oriented in picking out your gifts.

Paxston's girl - I agree with you and Jenny. It may feel weird but I think in the military world, it's normal. Congrats on the ten month mark though!

Comment by Jennifer on April 12, 2010 at 3:00am

I totally redid the look of my profile..You should check it out and let me know what you think=]


Jenn

Comment by Cassandra Rose on April 11, 2010 at 3:19am

Jenn- you MUST stay strong for him. I was the same way about a month before he left (everything you just described about randomly thinking of it and tearing up) but about 2 weeks before he left it just clicked that this is NOT about me, it's about him. Your bf is going no matter what right? So since there's no stopping it you might as well get hop on the bandwagon and act (and I don't say act lightly because sometimes it takes some Emmy actress awarding skills here) like you are his number one supporter, cheerleader, and fan. The first call I got from my fiance at boot was him worried sick about how I was doing without him (because of those breakdowns I had a month before he left) and I had to spend precious minutes of our small talk time convincing him I'm okay and it's himself for goodness sakes that he should be concentrating on. You can't stop it at this point, and what he needs most is support. Also, I thought it was going to be WAY worse than it actually is. I over played everything in my mind and dramatized everything, when in reality it IS hard but time really does fly by if you stay active. It sounds crazy now but it will make your relationship SO much stronger.

As far as his family goes- I'm thinking you should let his mom come with you to the recruiter's office if she wants. You have to remember that you are only losing your bf for a couple months, but this marks the day she reeeaally loses him "forever." The goodbye at the recruiters station will be short and you'll have people watching anyways so don't count on it being a private goodbye. It's going to be incredibly quick and public, so why not let her tag along? However, boundaries for the romantic night before are something you shouldn't feel bad about setting- do that free of guilt and brush it off if she tries to create drama about that. But like I said, the recruiters station goodbye will be public and quick anyways, it's GOOD to include his family in on things, little things like that when you can yaaa know. You will be with him through his Navy travels, but she's losing her son for good, or at least this is how she sees it.

Comment by Amanduh on April 11, 2010 at 2:23am

karissa- my husbands school is only 7 weeks long so i did not move out there. from what i understand, moving is always an option..but whether or not the navy will pay for it depends on how long school is. 19 weeks seems like a long time so hopefully you are able to move out there to be with him! i think there is a group for GL "a" school.

jenn- i understand the "wanting time to yourselves". PIR was kind of a pain for my huband and i. me, my mom, dad, and father in law flew to chicago for grad and my parents understand that me and my hubby wanted alone time but his dad refused to get it. it's smething we are going to have problems with forever because his dad is always over stepping boundaries. there comes a time when you branch off and start your own family and your parents are no longer first, your spouse is . i think a lot of parents struggle with that. hopefully your bf's mom will come around.

Comment by Jennifer on April 11, 2010 at 1:31am

Hey ladies...I'm slowly counting down the days until my bf leaves for boot camp..24 days as of right now...Things are a little tense here... My bf keeps commenting on how i shouldn't be upset that i should stay optimistic... I am trying but its so hard and stressful for me to do that when i know he's leaving soon... it hurts me so bad to know i wont see him for so long of hear his voice tell me he loves me... It's like I go into these trances where I just stare of into space thinking of what its going to be like when he's gone.. I just tear up...Take some deep breaths and go on with what i was doing.... I'm trying to put myself in his shoes.. I know its hurts him like crazy to see me cry especially when its because of him..but i cant help it...I think to much and think to deeply into things....It hasn't hit him yet and with the way he is it probably wont until the day he leaves..Hes just the type that can forget about things until he's forced to deal with it..
Not only that I can tell his family and i are going to knock heads...I made his mother upset today...My bf is leaving May 4th and we are getting a hotel room on the 3rd so we can spend a romantic night away before he leaves...then im taking him to his recruiters office on the 4th so he can leave...Were having a get together the 2nd with all his family and friends so they can say goodbye... His mom is upset because she wanted to spend time with him and take him to his recruiters... I want to take him by myself and say bye to him by myself... His mom has already pretty much ruined his PIR weekend for me...I at least want to say bye without a crowd there... (He is going to invite me, his mom, step dad and gma to his PIR and his mom has taken it upon herself to invite his 19yr old sis and her bf and his 17 yr old bro and 10 yr old sis also... She says "its the last time they will see him for a while so they should go also"...Even if the older 3 cant get into the graduation she wants them there anyway...his older sis just wants to go to shop in Chicago and his bro wants to go to skateboard in Chicago and his lil sis wants to go cause she wants to be included in everything,,They don't want to go for the right reasons and I feel they should just stay at home...This is my bfs weekend..not their vacation.,Besides all his fam does is fight anyway...)

Sorry for rambling but im just stressed and needed to vent..


Jenn

Comment by Amanduh on April 11, 2010 at 12:08am

yes karissa, that's exactly what we had to do. he might have watch or duty during that weekend in which case he would have to report back to base and put in his hours. my husband had watch on sunday at 6pm so we had to say goodbye early.

Comment by NavyWife10 on April 10, 2010 at 10:36pm

that's what i've been informed with Karissa.. unless a miracle happens and they get overnight liberty, which i've heard is more uncommon than common..

Comment by Amanduh on April 10, 2010 at 4:25pm

i think it's funny that i find myself logging onto N4M more than my FB or Myspace.. : )

Comment by Amanduh on April 10, 2010 at 3:57pm

i swear it was FOREVER before i got my first letter! i'm pretty sure it took 3-4 weeks before i got a letter. my husband was on holding waiting to join a division for a week when he first arrived. so his bootcamp was 1 week longer than it was supposed to be.

Comment by Stephanie( Mrs. Davis) on April 10, 2010 at 3:52pm

It took forever to hit him. But, when it did...it hit hard. It's hard to have someone always there and then leave. You can't call, text, or anything. The more I stay busy it helps. I just wish may 7th would get here soon:) Stay strong though they will need uplifting words in your letters and try to tell them how much you love and care for them. They tend to break the recruits down by saying bad things about us and writing them loving things always helps. It takes awhile for mail but, if they are allowed they write every night. My boyfriend write me every night so, when I get it has like letters in it but they are dated from a week to two weeks prior. Which sucks. Good luck ladies and stay strong:)

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