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Comment by Ms_Pink on April 11, 2018 at 9:36am

Thank you Anti M !

Comment by Anti M on April 11, 2018 at 9:21am

It takes two to three weeks to get the official letter with the correct address.

Comment by Ms_Pink on April 11, 2018 at 9:05am

Hey ladies,

I am new to this group, but my fiancé is currently at boot camp.

Do you guys know about how long it takes to receive information with his address where I can send letters ?

Comment by abuon18 on March 28, 2018 at 9:11pm

Paige, Michael is right. I know it hurts that someone you love can do this to you but this has been his choice to tell these lies about your relationship and to treat you this way, so the most important thing you can do right now is to move quickly to protect yourself and your child. Your best first step is to go to Fleet and Family Services on base (you can find their phone number on the Navy MWR website) and they will be able to help guide you through. Please know that while Navy legal offers SOME legal services, they are not lawyers and will not be able to represent you in a divorce, but they will be able to provide you with a list of attorneys who are experienced in military divorce cases and who are not going to take advantage of you. They will also be able to tell you what you can expect as far as financial support that he is supposed to provide and you are entitled to. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am currently in Chesapeake for a couple more weeks - we are PCSing soon but my husband has gone ahead. If you need anything or a safe place to stay please send me a private message.

Comment by Paige on March 28, 2018 at 5:28pm

Thank you to all who gave me advice on my previous post, but I also have another situation that ties into the previous post below.

My husband told his Senior Chief and his peers on base that he feels very unhappy and in an abusive marriage with me, they immediately sent him for advocacy counseling and I was blindsided because I had no clue this was going on or how he could ever feel this way. Through all of his other medical appointments he always shared what a great wife he has.

I have been the most loving Godly wife any man could want from cooking everyday to cleaning to washing ironing to transporting him back and forth to work and all of his medical appointments, being a comfort non argumentative because he does not have a driver's license and that's because he's always been too afraid to learn how to drive and he's 25 years old. I'm 24.

This all stemmed from me writing an email that expressed concerned for some of the things he does that keeps us apart. He took the email and shared it with everyone on his base that probably at least 10 people if not more including Senior Chiefs etc.. And it was made into a mockery..

The email ironically was loving and kind had nothing that was derogatory. It was regarding him spending 100% playing video games and not telling me the truth in matters and his addiction to things that could divide us.

Since this occurred last, I am no longer welcomed to know when his appointments are via email and he was told not to let me have access to any of his appointments of which I'm still responsible to take him to. He is playing the victim card..

His Senior Chief is very involved and now she primarily is running our marriage giving him advice on how not to include me what to say and provide resources that are hurting our marriage verses helping us as whole.

I want to know where do I go for counseling advocacy..?

Where do I go to talk to someone, what resources do I have? It feels like if i reach out i'm in trouble..

I currently have no more faith in him or trust him or anything that he does say, I'm here with him in Norfolk, VA and we have a 2 year old child. My family lives 1100 miles away.. Can anybody shed some light on this for me? What rights do i have? 

Thank you!

Comment by OSwife18 on March 28, 2018 at 5:05pm

micheal k, thanks. i could of sworn her recruiter did all of that, but i guess this is just the start of missing/ lost paper work. ill b on it first thing tomorrow.

Comment by OSwife18 on March 28, 2018 at 2:47pm

BC wife here. my wife just called me saying she needs me to send the originals of our marriage license, my drivers license and social security car. has anyone had to deal with this? am i really sending the originals or am i supposed to go to her recruiter to get certified copies made? please help! it was so good to her from her though, she sounds a little different but in good spirits. i hope they are all doing welll     

Comment by Allison on March 21, 2018 at 9:51am

Paige, if an investigation has been launched against you, your side will be heard. Depending on the severity of his report, they may simply send you both to counseling, or they may conduct an investigation, in which case you’ll be called into a secure room to be interviewed on the incidents he’s reported, as well as a timeline of your relationship, in as much detail as you can remember. This information will be turned over to the command to make their decisions.

If the case does not go anywhere but you are still fearful of your situation and feel someone needs to know, you may speak to a counselor at Fleet and Family Support Center, the MAs at the security office, any medical staff at the military hospital/clinics if those are available to you, and chaplains from any religious background. Keep in mind that excluding chaplains, you will not be offered an option for a restricted report since you have a child. You may also go to local police, but keep in mind that you will then be dealing with military and civilian proceedings, so if you are just trying to speak with someone about what is happening to you, it is best to go straight to your base security office, but if you are in immediate danger, please don’t be afraid to call the police. 

If they have not put one in place already but you feel like you need one, contact legal for a Military Protective Order (like a restraining order). While you can request it, it is not your decision, it is the command’s decision whether or not it is necessary and for how long it will be in place, standard is 30 days no contact and the servicemember cannot be within 200ft if you, but it can be modified at any point to allow verbal contact or extend the length of time for example, but again, it is his command’s decision. Once you ask, it is out of your hands. 

If you have any more questions, let me know, and I’ll do my best. I tried to keep this pretty general as these FAP cases can go many different ways depending on many factors. 

Comment by mrsriver43 on March 21, 2018 at 9:35am

Paige,
I am dealing with this with a friend of mine who is in almost an identical situation. Fleet and Family is the place to go. Call or go in and let them know what’s going on. You’ll be assigned an advocacy counselor who will guide you through what happens next.

Comment by Paige on March 21, 2018 at 9:13am

Hi you all, I have a quick question, my husband falsley reported to his Senior Chief and peers on base that hes in an abusive relationship. Its serious because i'm the one being abused and the situation is serious because we have a child. I need to know who I can contact because today hes being assigned a social service counselor. My husband has a mental health condition and he is in the early process of medical discharge and he was told not to discuss anything with me. I'm in Norfolk VA, what can I do? Their is no physical abuse from him, however he threw a pillow and screamed at me and since he yells and often displays anger and a temper. He has an anger issue. My husband doesn't have a license, I'm the sole driver. I take care of all the domestic responsibilities in our house, for our child and my husband. I'm responsible to transport him to anywhere Navy related, plus multiple medical appointments for a year and a half. He has been on LIMDU for a year, and hes always threatned me that he would take our toddler child who he does not have a relationship or physical bond with. Who do I contact so that my story is being heard, i'm hugely concerned about my reputation being tarnished.

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