This site is for mothers of kids in the U.S. Navy and for Moms who have questions about Navy life for their kids.



Choose your Username.  For the privacy and safety of you and/or your sailor, NO LAST NAMES ARE ALLOWED, even if your last name differs from that of your sailor (please make sure your URL address does not include your last name either).  Also, please do not include your email address in your user name. Go to "Settings" above to set your Username.  While there, complete your Profile so you can post and share photos and videos of your Sailor and share stories with other moms!

Make sure to read our Community Guidelines and this Navy Operations Security (OPSEC) checklist - loose lips sink ships!

Join groups!  Browse for groups for your PIR date, your sailor's occupational specialty, "A" school, assigned ship, homeport city, your own city or state, and a myriad of other interests. Jump in and introduce yourself!  Start making friends that can last a lifetime.

Link to Navy Speak - Navy Terms & Acronyms: Navy Speak

All Hands Magazine's full length documentary "Making a Sailor": This video follows four recruits through Boot Camp in the spring of 2018 who were assigned to DIV 229, an integrated division, which had PIR on 05/25/2018. 

Boot Camp: Making a Sailor (Full Length Documentary - 2018)

Boot Camp: Behind the Scenes at RTC

...and visit - America's Navy and also Navy Live - The Official Blog of the Navy to learn more.

OPSEC - Navy Operations Security

Always keep Navy Operations Security in mind.  In the Navy, it's essential to remember that "loose lips sink ships."  OPSEC is everyone's responsibility. 

DON'T post critical information including future destinations or ports of call; future operations, exercises or missions; deployment or homecoming dates.  

DO be smart, use your head, always think OPSEC when using texts, email, phone, and social media, and watch this video: "Importance of Navy OPSEC."

Follow this link for OPSEC Guidelines:



**UPDATE 4/26/2022** Effective with the May 6, 2022 PIR 4 guests will be allowed.  Still must be fully vaccinated to attend.

**UPDATE as of 11/10/2022 PIR vaccination is no longer required.

**UPDATE 7/29/2021** You now must be fully vaccinated in order to attend PIR:

In light of observed changes and impact of the Coronavirus Delta Variant and out of an abundance of caution for our recruits, Sailors, staff, and guests, Recruit Training Command is restricting Pass-in-Review (recruit graduation) to ONLY fully immunized guests (14-days post final COVID vaccination dose).  


RTC Graduation

**UPDATE 8/25/2022 - MASK MANDATE IS LIFTED.  Vaccinations still required.

**UPDATE 11/10/22 PIR - Vaccinations no longer required.


Please note! Changes to this guide happened in October 2017. Tickets are now issued for all guests, and all guests must have a ticket to enter base. A separate parking pass is no longer needed to drive on to base for parking.

Please see changes to attending PIR in the PAGES column. The PAGES are located under the member icons on the right side.

Format Downloads:

Navy Speak

Click here to learn common Navy terms and acronyms!  (Hint:  When you can speak an entire sentence using only acronyms and one verb, you're truly a Navy mom.)

N4M Merchandise

Shirts, caps, mugs and more can be found at CafePress.

Please note: Profits generated in the production of this merchandise are not being awarded to the Navy or any of its suppliers. Any profit made is retained by CafePress. Para Familias

Visite esta página para explorar en su idioma las oportunidades de educación y carreras para sus hijos en el Navy.



Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors


Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors

Hello my name is Keisha and i am the creator of this group. Thanks for joining and i hope that all the advice this group gives is helpful

Please, if you no longer want to be a part of N4M's consider NOT deleting your profile as everything you have ever posted will disappear when you delete it .  You can leave a group but don't permanently delete your profile!

Location: From Atlanta, GA all the way to Cali-forn-i-a now in Washington State
Members: 3875
Latest Activity: Feb 3

I'm a Navy Wife and I created this group back when I was a girlfriend and my now husband had gone to bootcamp. Its funny because i joined this website when they had under 50 members. This website has been sooooo helpful and I met so many people on here that gave great advice. I made this group so that we could all come together and give eachother advice and share ideas. I see that this group is growing more and more by the day, Im happy to see that because so many wives/fiances/and girlfriends are clueless when it comes the military lifestyle. Not knowing what to expect and not knowing about deployments, bootcamp, duty stations, etc. I want this to be the place you all recommend because so many people on this site are knowledgeable and very helpful. Once again thanks for joining my group and i hope you get all the information you need. I dont get to log on as much as i used to but i try my best to get on here. So if u have any questions feel free to make a discussion topic and Im positive that it will get answered if not, inbox me :-) Take Care ♥

Discussion Forum

Help needed!!

Started by Nia. Last reply by Nia Sep 7, 2022. 4 Replies

Hi everyone! My name is Nia, I’m new here. I just have a question that have been giving me anxiety lately. So my boyfriend has been emailing me every morning and sometimes night overseas, and then suddenly the flow has stopped out of no where. I’ve…Continue


Started by Mykenzie Apr 1, 2022. 0 Replies

Hi ladies!I just would love some advice on this current topic my significant other and i are having currently. without saying too much he’s enlisted in the navy and i am currently a university student. his work peers really value his work and his…Continue

Graduation coming up

Started by Kelly Jan 9, 2022. 0 Replies

Hi,Im new here and I am glad that I found a group that share my confusion during new path of couple life. My boyfriend is due to graduate on the 28th and I am so sad I can't make it to see him. Mainly cause he only had two invites and family comes…Continue

Hubby shipping off to BC June 24!

Started by TARA. Last reply by Kaylee Sep 29, 2020. 1 Reply

Hi Everyone,I am new to this group and would like to say how thankful I am for finding a community of Navy wives, fiancés and girlfriends who can lend support to each other.  A short background of our Navy journey - my guy wanted to sign up as EM…Continue

New here!

Started by Linda Jane. Last reply by Kaylee Sep 29, 2020. 4 Replies

Hi. I just joined last night. I wanted to introduce myself. I’m linda. My boyfriend is in Great Lakes now for basic training ship 02 Div 950. Then after graduation he immediately ships off to A school in SC. This is all extremely new to me and his…Continue

Fiancé Advice

Started by Lauren C. Last reply by astc Sep 26, 2019. 5 Replies

My fiance just joined the Navy and was sent off to bootcamp this week. We've been together for almost six years and we plan to get married after bootcamp is over.> I was hoping you could tell me if waiting until bootcamp is over was the smart…Continue

Good neighborhoods around Great Lakes IL??

Started by Artfulmind. Last reply by WCK110658 Jul 9, 2019. 3 Replies

Hi everyone! Hubs, baby, and I will be stationed in Great Lakes soon was wondering if anyone new of some good safe family friendly neighborhoods to rent a place? We don't mind being a half hour or so away from base. Heard the surrounding…Continue

Tags: moving, chicago, illinois, Lakes, Great

Hello Everyone!

Started by mommasett. Last reply by Anti M Mar 27, 2019. 1 Reply

Happy Hump day to all!! I am new here and I am so glad that I have found this group! I am hoping it helps in my journey with my boyfriend and understanding his Navy Life a little better. Continue

POA to get a military i.d.

Started by Hafaadai. Last reply by Ib_vv_N Feb 23, 2019. 7 Replies

Hi! My SR left for BC on 28th of Nov. I received THE BOX on Dec. 6th. Still waiting on his form letter, personal letter and DEERS. He did not leave me a POA before he left because the recruiter said we won’t really need it until he gets out of BC.…Continue

sending photos

Started by lifesimplified Feb 20, 2019. 0 Replies

My boyfriend shipped out on 2/11/19.  I just received his box but no form letter yet.  As soon as I get his address, I will be writing him daily and sending many photos.  I read somewhere on this forum that the recruits must show all photos to the…Continue

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors to add comments!

Comment by Katie on February 25, 2019 at 2:13pm
Hey ladies my boyfriend is in school right now.. anyone know when there spring break is or when they will be coming home??
Comment by Katie on February 25, 2019 at 2:11pm
Hey guys my boyfriend has been in the navy for about 6 months and I need some support !!
Comment by blackbirdmom on February 19, 2019 at 4:51pm

My daughter and son-in-law got married while he was on leave between A school and his first duty station. They got married in late September, he left in early October. She joined him in mid-December. In that time, she had to obtain her military ID and enroll in DEERS. Your sailor will have to tell his command that he got married, and do all the things that he has to do on his end. It would be in your best interest to get married BEFORE he gets his orders to his first duty station. It makes the process easier on both of you. That way you can be on his orders. If you are on his orders, it will be much faster to get housing. My SIL had to apply for housing, but they wouldn't assign it until she was actually there with him. Fortunately, he was able to find housing on the adjoining Air Force side of the base pretty quickly, and they only spent one night in a hotel. (They are on an OCONUS joint base). We know others who have spent months in a hotel waiting on Navy housing. 

Comment by isaabelr123 on February 19, 2019 at 4:23pm

Hi all! Just some questions for some of the more experienced people on here. My boyfriend and I are looking to get legally married so I can move down there once he is graduated from A school (mid June). We want to still have a wedding, but when we are a couple years older and timing is easier. But, I am wondering when we should get this done. Does anyone know the process of getting a newly wed couple living together? I have talked to a couple people down where he is stationed and they say it takes a few weeks, so is this something that should be done in April? He's a nuke down in Goose Creek if that helps. 

Comment by Allison on February 9, 2019 at 5:59pm

*early separation not desperation. Auto correct lol

Comment by Allison on February 9, 2019 at 5:58pm

Paige, PERS or NAVPERS is a really broad term that covers like the “handbook” for service, everything in his service record, all the “HR” paperwork, and more. Some of the things in the service record impact what you are qualified or unqualified to do, which obviously impacts where you can go. I think what your husband means is that whoever is reviewing his service record and cutting the official orders in NAVPERS (not the unofficial orders given to him in person), has the final say in how the information they’ve been provided with will impact your husband’s placement. By “override” he probably means they’d submit addendums to other pages in his records in order to qualify/disqualify him from certain billets.

Now, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, I’m really just trying to be helpful and not pick a fight, but I don’t think it would be a good idea to accuse someone, especially your husband, of “faking” a struggle with their mental health in order to rip off the Navy. That’s a very serious accusation, and maybe he does just want to sit around not working and playing video games, but those can be qualities in someone who is struggling with their mental health too…video games may be a way he “escapes.” And if he’s truly struggling with his mental health, the Navy will give him a chance to overcome it and move on, or they’ll separate him, which is better for EVERYONE. And if he’s “faking” it, he can’t ride that forever and will eventually be separated or denied reenlistment either for fraud or just for underperformance. And regardless of if he’s “faking” it or not to avoid sea duty, there could be very real side effects of sending him to a ship with that mentality. 

As for your other concerns, I suggest reaching out to the ombudsman or chaplain at his command first. They’ll be able to help you move forward with contacting the CoC or having them contact you if necessary, but they can also help decode the info your husband shares with you and give you info on the process. 

I don’t know exactly how this will work in your case, but for my husband and I, we both had medseps. Mine was in boot camp for a pre-existing condition, i had to attend some info meetings, do paperwork, and was given an option to re-enlist after one year following further medical evaluation, and it took about a month. It was classified as just “early desperation.” Some of the girls in my compartment were psych cases, and it depended on the severity, some were gone in a week (usually the ones that just didn’t want to be there) and some were there for months being evaluated (usually the more true and severe phsych cases), none were eligible for re-enlistment, some were given “dishonorables” but most were early sep depending again on severity. My husbands was things in relationship to his service after almost 3 years, so he had lots of appointments to determine how severe stuff was, his eligibility for disability, etc. He had tons of paperwork, a whole class for the transition, and it took about 8 months. About 5 months in they sent me home and paid for the move while he transferred to Norfolk to finish the process before he could join me. He is unfortunately not eligible for reenlistment, but he got an med sep under honorable conditions or something like that and still has all his veterans benefits and a small disability benefit. They only paid to send him to his home of record, and we paid for him the rest of the way to join me at our new home in my hometown. 

Comment by Michael on February 9, 2019 at 9:51am
Paige, have talked to anyone in the navy about what he tells you. Have you called the IGs office to report what he’s doing. Yes it’s true if your in LIMBO for 13 months they will drop you and if he’s having psychological problems they will not keep him they will drop him in a heartbeat, there is a bunch of lies being told to you. Whatever he is telling you through email or text and you believe it’s lies and he’s causing fraud I would contact the IG office and report it. Someone like that drags down the military and it’s reputation. Seeing this really pissed me off as I know how hard my husband works and other sailors and you have someone doing this BS.
Comment by Paige on February 8, 2019 at 1:50pm

Hi  everyone... This is a hard one so brace yourself please.

My Husband is active duty but has been on LIMDU for two and a half years, he went through the MED BOARD process but they found him "Fit for Full duty" to go back to the ship, he just received his orders to go back to the ship but he said he failed the SEA DUTY/OPERATIONAL SCREENING because of what his psychiatric doctor put in his medical file, He also said he can't go to the ship.

My Husband also told me that PERS which I can't find information on can override everything for him and they will decide if he goes on the ship, or another shore command or another LIMDU..

Everyday I receive a new and confusing updates I live 1000 miles away he is at the barracks and he is truly dodging going on the ship.

He has never been on any deployments and it is so unfair especially to the families who have had to sacrifice their loved ones to serve.

I also read many news reports that the military can separate him because he has been non-deployable for over 12 months .. he has been non-deployable for 2 and a half years

I feel there are so many untruths by him and I wanted to know the protocol ... Can he request to separate from the Navy as an option? I surely hope not...

How can I learn of the truth or get the facts on the process. If he does get separated how long does it take before he actually dismissed?

He is not giving me any correct information and being deceitful and I do not want to be blind sided. He is trying to stay on LIMDU for his final 4th year which is now and trying to orchestrate this with his psychiatric doctor. It is almost like he is gaming the system. My husband is trying to be non-functional for the ship but only functional for shore duty so he can work part time and play video games all day.. Can't anyone else see this?  I am so disheartened and sad. He needs to serve the Navy in full form and do his duty and be a true Sailor and should be demanded to make up this frivolous time he spent sitting around.

Your answers and direction are so very much appreciated. 

Comment by Anti M on January 3, 2019 at 6:35pm

You can marry during A school, just google the county clerk there for information.  The biggest obstacle will be that you are not a citizen. He needs to talk to his school command as soon as he arrives, because if he needs a security clearance, marrying you might put that in jeopardy.  He could lose his school and need to take something else with a lower clearance.  That's not good and can be quite disappointing for you both.

Comment by Nicole on January 3, 2019 at 12:29pm
Hi. I just joined last night. Im really new year. I need some advuce. I wanted to introduce myself. I’m nicole My boyfriend is in Great Lakes now for basic training gonna graduate on January 25z Then after graduation he immediately ships off to A school in Pensacola Florida. He’s gonna study ABF FUEL. I’m likely going to have a lot of questions in the future so bear with me.

We are planneung to get married soon.. that possible to get married during a-school?
And im a foreign national still not u.s citizen. Im from the philippines. Is that a long process?

Tho im gonna visut him in florida. Can we get married there? Or aftrr a-school? Whats the easist way?

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