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Comment by Katie on February 25, 2019 at 2:13pm

Hey ladies my boyfriend is in school right now.. anyone know when there spring break is or when they will be coming home??

Comment by Katie on February 25, 2019 at 2:11pm

Hey guys my boyfriend has been in the navy for about 6 months and I need some support !!

Comment by blackbirdmom on February 19, 2019 at 4:51pm

My daughter and son-in-law got married while he was on leave between A school and his first duty station. They got married in late September, he left in early October. She joined him in mid-December. In that time, she had to obtain her military ID and enroll in DEERS. Your sailor will have to tell his command that he got married, and do all the things that he has to do on his end. It would be in your best interest to get married BEFORE he gets his orders to his first duty station. It makes the process easier on both of you. That way you can be on his orders. If you are on his orders, it will be much faster to get housing. My SIL had to apply for housing, but they wouldn't assign it until she was actually there with him. Fortunately, he was able to find housing on the adjoining Air Force side of the base pretty quickly, and they only spent one night in a hotel. (They are on an OCONUS joint base). We know others who have spent months in a hotel waiting on Navy housing. 

Comment by isaabelr123 on February 19, 2019 at 4:23pm

Hi all! Just some questions for some of the more experienced people on here. My boyfriend and I are looking to get legally married so I can move down there once he is graduated from A school (mid June). We want to still have a wedding, but when we are a couple years older and timing is easier. But, I am wondering when we should get this done. Does anyone know the process of getting a newly wed couple living together? I have talked to a couple people down where he is stationed and they say it takes a few weeks, so is this something that should be done in April? He's a nuke down in Goose Creek if that helps. 

Comment by Allison on February 9, 2019 at 5:59pm

*early separation not desperation. Auto correct lol

Comment by Allison on February 9, 2019 at 5:58pm

Paige, PERS or NAVPERS is a really broad term that covers like the “handbook” for service, everything in his service record, all the “HR” paperwork, and more. Some of the things in the service record impact what you are qualified or unqualified to do, which obviously impacts where you can go. I think what your husband means is that whoever is reviewing his service record and cutting the official orders in NAVPERS (not the unofficial orders given to him in person), has the final say in how the information they’ve been provided with will impact your husband’s placement. By “override” he probably means they’d submit addendums to other pages in his records in order to qualify/disqualify him from certain billets.

Now, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, I’m really just trying to be helpful and not pick a fight, but I don’t think it would be a good idea to accuse someone, especially your husband, of “faking” a struggle with their mental health in order to rip off the Navy. That’s a very serious accusation, and maybe he does just want to sit around not working and playing video games, but those can be qualities in someone who is struggling with their mental health too…video games may be a way he “escapes.” And if he’s truly struggling with his mental health, the Navy will give him a chance to overcome it and move on, or they’ll separate him, which is better for EVERYONE. And if he’s “faking” it, he can’t ride that forever and will eventually be separated or denied reenlistment either for fraud or just for underperformance. And regardless of if he’s “faking” it or not to avoid sea duty, there could be very real side effects of sending him to a ship with that mentality. 

As for your other concerns, I suggest reaching out to the ombudsman or chaplain at his command first. They’ll be able to help you move forward with contacting the CoC or having them contact you if necessary, but they can also help decode the info your husband shares with you and give you info on the process. 

I don’t know exactly how this will work in your case, but for my husband and I, we both had medseps. Mine was in boot camp for a pre-existing condition, i had to attend some info meetings, do paperwork, and was given an option to re-enlist after one year following further medical evaluation, and it took about a month. It was classified as just “early desperation.” Some of the girls in my compartment were psych cases, and it depended on the severity, some were gone in a week (usually the ones that just didn’t want to be there) and some were there for months being evaluated (usually the more true and severe phsych cases), none were eligible for re-enlistment, some were given “dishonorables” but most were early sep depending again on severity. My husbands was things in relationship to his service after almost 3 years, so he had lots of appointments to determine how severe stuff was, his eligibility for disability, etc. He had tons of paperwork, a whole class for the transition, and it took about 8 months. About 5 months in they sent me home and paid for the move while he transferred to Norfolk to finish the process before he could join me. He is unfortunately not eligible for reenlistment, but he got an med sep under honorable conditions or something like that and still has all his veterans benefits and a small disability benefit. They only paid to send him to his home of record, and we paid for him the rest of the way to join me at our new home in my hometown. 

Comment by Michael on February 9, 2019 at 9:51am

Paige, have talked to anyone in the navy about what he tells you. Have you called the IGs office to report what he’s doing. Yes it’s true if your in LIMBO for 13 months they will drop you and if he’s having psychological problems they will not keep him they will drop him in a heartbeat, there is a bunch of lies being told to you. Whatever he is telling you through email or text and you believe it’s lies and he’s causing fraud I would contact the IG office and report it. Someone like that drags down the military and it’s reputation. Seeing this really pissed me off as I know how hard my husband works and other sailors and you have someone doing this BS.

Comment by Paige on February 8, 2019 at 1:50pm

Hi  everyone... This is a hard one so brace yourself please.

My Husband is active duty but has been on LIMDU for two and a half years, he went through the MED BOARD process but they found him "Fit for Full duty" to go back to the ship, he just received his orders to go back to the ship but he said he failed the SEA DUTY/OPERATIONAL SCREENING because of what his psychiatric doctor put in his medical file, He also said he can't go to the ship.

My Husband also told me that PERS which I can't find information on can override everything for him and they will decide if he goes on the ship, or another shore command or another LIMDU..

Everyday I receive a new and confusing updates I live 1000 miles away he is at the barracks and he is truly dodging going on the ship.

He has never been on any deployments and it is so unfair especially to the families who have had to sacrifice their loved ones to serve.

I also read many news reports that the military can separate him because he has been non-deployable for over 12 months .. he has been non-deployable for 2 and a half years

I feel there are so many untruths by him and I wanted to know the protocol ... Can he request to separate from the Navy as an option? I surely hope not...

How can I learn of the truth or get the facts on the process. If he does get separated how long does it take before he actually dismissed?

He is not giving me any correct information and being deceitful and I do not want to be blind sided. He is trying to stay on LIMDU for his final 4th year which is now and trying to orchestrate this with his psychiatric doctor. It is almost like he is gaming the system. My husband is trying to be non-functional for the ship but only functional for shore duty so he can work part time and play video games all day.. Can't anyone else see this?  I am so disheartened and sad. He needs to serve the Navy in full form and do his duty and be a true Sailor and should be demanded to make up this frivolous time he spent sitting around.

Your answers and direction are so very much appreciated. 

Comment by Anti M on January 3, 2019 at 6:35pm

You can marry during A school, just google the county clerk there for information.  The biggest obstacle will be that you are not a citizen. He needs to talk to his school command as soon as he arrives, because if he needs a security clearance, marrying you might put that in jeopardy.  He could lose his school and need to take something else with a lower clearance.  That's not good and can be quite disappointing for you both.

Comment by Nicole on January 3, 2019 at 12:29pm

Hi. I just joined last night. Im really new year. I need some advuce. I wanted to introduce myself. I’m nicole My boyfriend is in Great Lakes now for basic training gonna graduate on January 25z Then after graduation he immediately ships off to A school in Pensacola Florida. He’s gonna study ABF FUEL. I’m likely going to have a lot of questions in the future so bear with me.

We are planneung to get married soon.. that possible to get married during a-school?
And im a foreign national still not u.s citizen. Im from the philippines. Is that a long process?

Tho im gonna visut him in florida. Can we get married there? Or aftrr a-school? Whats the easist way?

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