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Comment by Anti M on March 10, 2016 at 7:53am

I know about marrying during A school and orders.  First, they are all told not to marry during PIR weekend, and sign a page which states they will obey all liberty weekend rules.  Technically, the Navy cannot forbid any legal marriage, so I have yet to hear of anyone being punished.  I ONLY suggest PIR marriages if a pregnancy is involved, as it is in the best interests of the child to have Tricare prenatal care and a fully paid for birth.  And paternity leave, as only married sailors get that.

I'm assuming you are not pregnant, so on to the topic of A school.  Marrying during A school requires that you go to him, and work around the liberty phases.  At all A schools, he is required to put in a special request chit to let them know he is marrying.  In most cases that will be approved after he takes a class or sees a chaplain for counseling.  This is to screen for fraudulent marriages, and to prevent them from marrying local gold diggers (sounds awful, but it is a thing).  Then you two marry according to the local county and state rules.  He adds you to his page two, enrolls you in DEERS and Tricare, applies for BAH, and all that good stuff.

Moving to A school is on your own dime unless you were married before boot camp.  The exception may be nukes, but they are always a special case.  He probably will not get permission to live with you in school, except for the longer programs over 6 months/20+ weeks long.

"Getting on the orders" is the most common reason to time a marriage during A school.  Orders come in two flavors, accompanied and unaccompanied.  That means a paid dependent move is authorized.  For a detailer to issue the proper orders, they need to have up to date information, and usually begin cutting orders four weeks ahead of any graduation date, perhaps longer.  Orders show up roughly halfway to the end of school, and usually will not be amended from single to married.  So it is possible to be included on his orders to his first command, but you have to time it right.  In some cases, with short schools, it simply is not possible.

One big concern is sailors who are E-3 and below cannot take dependents overseas.  They must be an E-4, and only a few ratings (jobs) advance them that quickly.  While you can move yourself anywhere in the US, you cannot just go live overseas. 

After A school, he gets a week or so of leave to come home on his way to his new command.  Some couples marry then, but he's already got orders and your move would not be paid for.

@Ashley, the big question is, what A school will he go to?  Do you know the rating he contracted for?  His job?  If I know the school, I can be very detailed about the time frame you have in front of you. 

Comment by Ashley on March 10, 2016 at 3:18am

@NavyWifeInTraining
I understand your concern but yes we have talked about it together. Before he left we really were not sure how it would work though. I know he will revive more information and we will talk about it more as we are able to communicate but in the mean time I was curious to what exactly could of could not happen after boot camp.

Comment by NavyWifeInTraining on March 10, 2016 at 1:49am

@Ashley
I hope you don't mind me asking, but I just want to get some information so that I could offer my help. You said you and him decided to wait at least a year to get married. However you have realized that you don't want to wait, has he expressed those same feelings?
If you two were to get married after bootcamp, I think he won't get leave until he completes A school before going to his first duty station. So, it really depends on how long his A school is. Just keep in mind that since you guys are getting married after bootcamp, the Navy will not pay you to move with him to his first duty station. I know liberty during A school is broken up into 3 phases with a limited amount of miles to be off base. That would probably be the only time you would get to see him, even then it will not be right away. It may take up to a month

Comment by Lindsey on March 10, 2016 at 1:46am

@navywifeintraining you are right-- thank you for the reassurance!! And Brittany, so does my husband! I'm wearing a dress but really
You can wear whatever, business casual is usually common.

Comment by Brittany on March 10, 2016 at 1:40am

My boyfriend graduates on 4/1 and I have no clue what to wear either!! Lol

Comment by NavyWifeInTraining on March 10, 2016 at 1:21am

@Lindsey You have to remember it's quicker to send out mail to you than it is for him to receive it because once it arrives at RTC it is sent to the mailroom to be sorted out into the appropriate divisions and ships for EVERY SR. Just imagine how much mail they have to sort daily for every family member that writes letters to their loved ones in bootcamp! He will receive each letter you have sent him with time. What I,would recommend you to do is write the date on the inside of your letter so that he knows when you wrote it and he doesn't think you are ignoring him

Comment by Ashley on March 10, 2016 at 1:03am

I have never used this before but I don't know anyone that has been in my situation. Someone told me this website could be helpful to me. I'm sure my concerns have been asked about a million times but my significant other was unable to get all of the information we needed before he left for boot camp and now I'm left here wondering while he is gone. I never realized how hard it would be to be away from him. We originally planned to wait at least a year to get married and try to move back in together due to my work but recently I have realized I would prefer to be with him as much or as soon as possible. I know that he will be very busy with school and such but I would like to see him as much as I can. I know there will be a lot of rules. I'm not even sure what all I need to know yet. But I was wondering if anyone could give me advice and answer a few questions for me.
1. I'm sure you have to wait a little while before you can get married after boot camp. How does that work?
2. Would we have to live separate for awhile and only see each other on weekends at first?

Comment by Lindsey on March 10, 2016 at 1:02am

My SR is in BC right now, and I've been getting letters from him every Wednesday-at least four or five. But he says he's only gotten a few letters from me, and I've been writing him every day to every 2 days. I'm so confused. Is he not getting all my mail and pictures? I have the correct address, and I live about an hr from Great Lakes. I'm just worried he's concerned I'm ignoring him. I'm not too sure what to do.

Comment by 18gf on March 9, 2016 at 9:49pm

that was my biggest thing I know it's cold so I wanted to dress warm .. I was thinking leggings and a nice sweater ? would that be okay?

Comment by Allison on March 9, 2016 at 9:19pm

18gf you can't really be either over or underdressed unless you show up in a ballgown or bathrobe. There's a wide variety of outfit choices. I picked out a nice dress that I dressed down with more basic accessories. The biggest thing to keep in mind is that it's really cold. I could have gotten away with wearing a trash bag because I had my coat on the entire time anyway. If you wear tights with a sweater dress, it's not too bad for short periods of time.  A pretty good picture of what people are wearing to PIR is to think about what people around you wore to your college (or high school) graduation...it's a good place to start just remember that it's March in Illinois. They're still getting snow, and it's very windy.

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