How to cope....

[Jane]

So my boyfriend left Sunday to go up to MEPs before  his departure for boot camp yesterday and doesn't seem like missing him is getting any easier.I keep trying to keep myself busy and stay strong for his mom's sake, but its harder than I thought it would be.I understand its only temporary but I'd like some ideas as to how anyone else keeps/kept themselves occupied and dealt with missing your sailor. Please and thanks.

[MidwestMom]

The first week is tough...probably the first 10 days.  Just give yourself permission to cry and realize that this is temporary.  You or his mom should get The Box by the end of the week or early next week which is your first concrete connection with him again.  Then, hopefully by the end of next week, one of you will get the form letter--a 'form' letter has never meant so much!!!  It will have his address so you can start mailing letters to him.  It will have his PIR (graduation day--YEAH), and it will have a few lines that he can write down his first impressions or just tell you all he loves you one more time.  Don't expect a real letter from him until July 13 or 14 because he probably won't be allowed to write until Sunday, Juy 10.  If you don't get a letter by the 14th, don't panic because sometimes their divisions take longer to form up and that delays everything.  It'll all be OK.  I received my first phone call 3 weeks and 2 days after my son left.  Then last week his div earned an extra phone call and this week was another previously scheduled call home.  Some are pretty short, but sometimes they get to talk for 20 minutes or more.  There's no rhyme or reason...so just keep your phones handy at all times!  Write, write, write and number your envelopes so he can open them up in order.  Once communication has begun, time will start moving again and you'll be busy trying to find the perfect outfit for PIR and making plans to travel to Chicago.  Just keep breathing and supporting his mom, and you'll get through it!  :)  Oh, and read lots of posts so you know you are not alone! 

[Jane]

Thanks! That really helped a lot.I tend to just cry myself to sleep when I realize he won't be here sleeping by my side for a while..His mom does the same thing. But I didn't know that we'd get the 'form' letter, I just thought we'd get the first letter from him in about three weeks (he told us when he arrived there that he wouldn't be able to call or write for about three weeks). But Thanks for telling me all of this.And I've been reading A LOT of posts to help cope with it all.

[HM Wife! Ship11 Div273]

I feel your pain :( I did'nt know about the form letter either. Can't wait for that!! What's your boyfriend's job?

[Jane]

He got the Pact Airman so he gets to choose btwn three jobs...What about your sailor?

[HM Wife! Ship11 Div273]

All I know is that he's a Hospital Coreman.

[MidwestMom]

Hi ladies.  Once you start reading more on these postings, you will quickly get caught up and it will make you feel much better!  (It was really important to me to know!)  When they leave for BC, the first night you 'usually' get a quick, 10-second I'm here call.  Approximately 5-7 days later you will get The Box with everything he was wearing besides his billfold.  About a week after getting the box, you'll get the form letter.  DON'T lose the form letter!!!  This will have his address and his PIR date.  It will also have hotel info for PIR and the code you need to print out a parking pass. You cannot print your parking pass until about 2 weeks before PIR so keep the letter in a safe place.  He/she will also have room to write a few sentences.  Either the second or the third Sunday after they leave will be their first opportunity to write home.  You can write immediately and then mail the letters once you have the address (form letter).  They will LOVE getting mail the first day it is called!  They won't get mail for probably the first two weeks and it will take a little more than that before you get your first letter.  First calls home come roughly 3 weeks into BC.  Calls can be earned...and lost...based on division performance.  Sometimes they also get to call home for missing info for security clearances, but those are usually business calls and they are not allowed to chitchat.  Times are never exact and some get their form letters in 6 days and some can take more than 2 weeks.  Hang on...it will get better!

[Jane]

Thank you both :) I'm trying to be really strong, especially around his mom.Its like if one of us is crying or upset it makes the other upset..So I keep trying to be strong when in reality I feel so helpless.But I know he's going through a lot and I pray for him every night.I'm attempting to keep myself busy I asked for extra hours at work and I'm constantly cleaning.So I'm taking it a day at a time.I befriended a young woman on here who's BF left the same day mine did which in a way helps to remember I'm not the only one going through this :) .But I got his box today.He got there Monday so that isn't that bad.I miss him so much sometimes my chest aches.I know it sounds crazy but its true.But I was told to get his address from his recruiter here back at home..

[MidwestMom]

If you get tired of cleaning, I'll invite you to my house!  :)

Being a military wife or GF requires a strong and independent lifestyle.  You are doing an excellent job of learning how to cope by doing positive things.  After BC, he'll be able to talk and text a lot more, but you will still need to fill your time with activities and friendships that don't revolve completely around him.  When my husband was out to sea, I read and read and read.  Looking back, I probably should have taken night classes and worked further on getting a degree.  Like Ellebee said, look for ways to improve your health or maybe try an on-line or night class if you aren't attending school.  Working the extra hours is a great idea because you'll be able to tuck away money to visit him while he's in school.  And, as someone with a married daughter and engaged son, thank you for doing all you can to help your BF's mom get through this.  They are still our little boys and always will be!  :)

[Jane]

Thanks :) Well we got his form letter Tuesday and I got to mail my letters off to him This morning :) so I'm hoping he'll get them sooner than what they said on the paper....Me and his Mom are booking our plane tickets next week so I'm super excited about that..Only 6 more weeks to go and I get to see the love of my life ♥ Thanks everyone for the support.It really does help :)