Comment

Comment by Melissa on October 19, 2015 at 11:32pm

Birdie - you have probably already mailed your package, but I will add that in my experience the cost of overnight or two day shipping is not worth it.  Chances are it will get to the base in the shipping time frame, but it might take a week or longer for the package to actually be delivered to your son.  Like Jodi, I use the big USPS priority box and stuff it full. 

Marianne - I'll agree with the others and say offer your support, but (nicely) let your son know that you think 4 months (and during the stress of RSS/A School) is NOT the time to be making major life choices.  If she is the right girl right now, she will be the right girl in a year or two when things are more settled.  And more money is NEVER the reason to get married!

My son just booked his flight for Thanksgiving!  He is actually flying into Texas and picking up his sister (who will be 8 months pregnant by then) and driving her up here so that she doesn't have to spend the holiday alone since her husband will still be in AL.  He flies in on the 19th and we get him until Dec 1.  I can't wait!

Comment by mtnestr on October 19, 2015 at 7:15pm

Wow, Marianne, 4 mos. is a short time for ANYONE, especially at the age of 20.   Hmmmmm, trying to put myself in your shoes.  My son is 19, but has been dating the same girl for 4 years....I love her, so I think I'd be okay.  But 4 months?  Here's my advice: Try to withhold judgement until after you meet her.  Did you trust your son's judgement before he left?  He's still the same person....hopefully even more mature!  ;)  Maybe you'll meet her and understand why he has fallen in love with her....maybe you will, too! I think it's okay to let your son know how you feel (respectfully), but Jodi is right, they will remember forever that you gave your blessing or that you gave disapproval.  You don't want to start out being THAT mother-in-law!  My MIL looked at me and said, "Well, you know, when our family members get married, it's forever, I hope you know that!"  You can guess where that story goes....26 years later I still remember....

Comment by Marianne on October 19, 2015 at 3:58pm

My sailor said there are actually 2 different groups from Jacksonville, 1 group goes the 10 days before/including Christmas and the other group goes after, my son is on the after group. They were given the info last week

Comment by Marianne on October 19, 2015 at 3:11pm

Thanks Jodi!

Comment by Jodi-alumni Ship 4 on October 19, 2015 at 2:07pm

Marianne, I know of several friends whose sailors married after only knowing their spouses for a short time. So far they are doing okay. One is married to another service member and they are just now stationed in the same place after about 9 months, I think, apart. The other married a civilian. I understand how concerned you are though. I know that you want to talk them out of it but try not to. From experience you may just be hurting yourself in the end. Just listen and hope he realizes that he is talking about a lifetime commitment and he will decide to wait a while. Congrats on getting your flight arrangements. I made my son's too. Not to rush the holidays but I'm really looking forward to December:)

Comment by Marianne on October 19, 2015 at 11:50am

Just made flight arrangements for my son to come home Christmas time, can't wait to see him!!! Wondering if other moms have come across this issue? He started dating a girl down in Florida and I am afraid he is just spending too much time with her. He is in the last leg of training but not done until July and although he has only dated her 4 months already talking marriage!!! He just turned 20!!! He says stuff like how much more money he could make and that he has a lot of friends down there getting married. He wanted to be a rescue swimmer and see the world, now he is hoping to be stationed in Jacksonville!! I'm afraid he has found a surrogate family in her family and misses home but I can't talk to him about it without him getting defensive. And she is coming with him at Christmas. Any advise moms???

Comment by Jodi-alumni Ship 4 on October 19, 2015 at 10:34am

Birdie, I always use USPS Priority Mail. There is a large box that is shaped like a game board box that fits a lot in it. Anything that fits in those boxes ships for about $ 15.80 if you do everything online through USPS.com. Track the package online and when it arrives text your son and let him know so he can go pick it up at the base post office. It helps to track it because sometimes the base post office can't find it. If you have proof that it was delivered to them they will look harder :)

Comment by mtnestr on October 17, 2015 at 9:44pm

Well said, Jodi!

Comment by Jodi-alumni Ship 4 on October 16, 2015 at 8:42am

MaryMama, I agree with jaxietwo and mtnester. Tell your son to not let it get him down but to go at it harder than ever. He really needs to show the instructors that he wants this. To get rolled isn't necessarily the end, they usually get the opportunity to try again. He just needs to buckle down and really try hard.

However do remember the attrition rate in this rating is very high. I know of several that didn't remain in the RSS program but are still successful and happy with other ratings in the Navy so it's not a mark against him if that happens. I wish both you and your son the best and I will be thinking of you both:) 

Comment by jaxietwo on October 15, 2015 at 8:38pm

MaryMama I've sent you a message - check up top on the left.

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