Questions...

[Ashley2011]

Hey so i have a couple questions, my bf and i are becoming very serious and he is wanting to apply to navy OCS: how long are they normally gone for? and is it bad if we are bf and gf or would it be a lot better if we were married?

Thank you :)

Ash

[susank]

Ash, from our experience the OCS is only the beginning of a long haul. They are super busy the whole Navy commitment from OCS, to power school, to sub school, to prototype, and then to the fleet with deployments. Even the shore duty has long hours. You need a very strong commitment and you need to be independent. It takes a special woman to be a Navy wife/girlfriend. I am a Navy mom and it is hard enough for me. If you love each other you can do it! Best of luck! ( As you can tell my son went with subs but maybe the other paths are a little different.)

[Ashley2011]

Yea he wants to do anything that involves a plane so we shall see what happens. I just wanted to know about how long he would be gone just for OCS. But thank you very much. :)

[Paymaster]

Ashley....My son is a career officer.  It is a very long and often rough road to travel.  You need to be a special individual who is independent and self confident.  I look at my daughter in law and admire how she manages to do it all and alone.  I know she loves my son very much, but I know she has to carry a heavy load on her own most of the time. 

I wish you all the best as you and your bf explore his and your options.

Please let me know if there is anything else I can help you with. 

 

Fair wind and following seas.

[Ashley2011]

I am a very strong person and know i could handle it, but i also know no matter what its not going to be easy at all. I'm already really independent so im not to worried about that part. Yea i admire people like that too. I just want him to be happy in whatever he does and if military is what he wants then i know God will give me the strength to handle it. Thank you for giving me some insight :)

[JJ]

Your best answers are going to come from the Navy, as far as "how long". Normally 12 weeks. Where  he does his training will add a few days to that; Rhode Island, California, Maine???  You didn't say how old you are, so I am just going to say this: If your love is strong, then wait at least two to three years. By then you will have a good taste of what is happening and how long the "love of your life" will be gone. If this will be something that you both will be able to handle, you will find out very quickly. My son has spent 14 months away from his wife and daughter. That's 14 months on the other side of the earth!  No help with a sick baby, no help getting groceries, no help with the garbage.  No one to watch a movie with or go for a romantic dinner. And that was only ONE deployment.  He has been through at least 6 deployments, each far from home.  But once again, WAIT and see. Love will last if it is true. It is not easy and it isn't anything like "Army Wives" on TV. Time is on your side. You will learn alot about one another if you wait while he starts his Navy career. Good Luck.

[Ashley2011]

I am 19 and he is 24. I was planning on waiting 2 years, i was just asking if it makes life easier being married or not. Im sorry about your daughter in law that is hard to do. I know its nothing like on TV that's why i wanted insight from others who are going through it. What does your son do? And thank you.

[JJ]

Ashley, My son started out in the Navy Air so he has spent time in Florida, Texas and Maine before he decided to change specialities. He has also spent time in Panama, Bosnia, Greenland. Iceland, Afghanistan and Bahrain, just to name a few, without giving away too much information. More so than not, his wife did not go with him. But she is well aware what's it's like to be away from her husband since both her parents were in the military when she was younger.Spending 7 to 14 months away from your husband not only tests your loyality but your faith as well. The constance worrying whether or not he is OK, what he is doing, why he isn't calling, etc.  My son has been in the Navy for 20 years and has been married for 12 years. He is a Commander and is the XO of the base that he is at now.  You are so young and have plenty of time on your side. There are many of things that you have to consider. Young love is so wonderful. I have grandchildren that are older than you and NONE of them are married and all are in college getting their education.  You will do what you want and no one will convince you to put this huge issue on hold. Good luck to you and your boyfriend.

[Paymaster]

Ashley.....You don't say if you are in school or not. If you are in school stay there!  Get your degree and work in your field of education!  Don't say it can wait, do it now!

[Ashley2011]

Yes i am in school. I know you are saying do it now it can wait but the thing is when he moves im going too and ill finish where ever he is. I am the type of person who can be happy doing anything i want as long as im with him. So sorry but if he goes im following. Ive lost to many people already. 

[Lori4629]

@Ashley, it sounds like your questions relate to more of the practical stuff, like "will he get more $ to help pay the bills if we get married vs if we're just bf/gf?", and "does it make it easier for me to travel to wherever he's sent?", "health insurance coverage, tax benefits" and "married housing availability". Am I right?  It sounds like you have your mind made up already to follow him as bf/gf if need be. No one can prepare you for the emotional toll of being a military wife, but you are on the right track by wanting only the best for your beloved! Best wishes!

[Oblue]

Ashley, I'm in the same spot as you were then. My boyfriend of 3 years is in the recruitment process (we just found out his ASTB scores were high enough!) Now we're taking it step by step. We have both talked about marriage, and at this point have decided to wait a few years...