Does anyone know about the two Navy Dep in Califorina?

[emilygrace28]

My fiance just got a text message from his recruiter saying that Dep will be canceled indefinitely due to the death of two men who were in the Dep program in California. I have been having mixed feelings about him joining. He enlisted for the Air force before we met, then got denied due to a paperwork mix up. He enlisted in the Navy maybe two weeks into our relationship. I didn't think much of it, since I didn't think much of him yet. :) Haha now we have been together for seven months, living together for six months, are engaged, and have adopted two kittens together. As a serial dater, I didn't think I would ever find a boy I would want to spend the rest of my life with.

This is my question to my fellow ladies out there...
Do the "benefits" of being with a man in the Navy outweigh the emotional stress of being away for so long? He is signed up for submarine and this is like e-mails won't even be able to be sent. I am so scared to be away from him. When he is at work and I am alone at night I get upset. This is basically I will have work at 10 am to 5 30 pm he has work 4 pm to 1 am. So basically not seeing him for 15 hours absolutely kills me!

[RightHereWaiting]

They're not cancelling the DEP program. Just the PT portion. A kid died pting and that's why.

I just wrote up a long reply and it got lost when I went to add it... so this is the short version.

Think of it this way-- would you rather spend a few short months without him, or your lifetime? The benifits are great and many. I'll be the first to say that yes sometimes the Navy sucks, but that's life. It does a lot for a person and family though. Maybe you don't always get what you'd wanted or hoped from it, but once again-- life.
From what I understand Subs usually have short deployments. I could be wrong.
Being without him will suck at first but you'll get used it. Boot and A-shcool are a good trial-run, if you will. If you both have good communication, trust each other and are both faithful, then it's not bad.
My husband has been deployed for about 5 months now. Only another 2 to go. I'll admit it was really hard at first because we've had so much going on since right before he left till now [this includes several family deaths]. But I got used to it and fell into my own lonely little jig.

It's all what you make of it.

[EmilyFCwife]

If you love that Navy man more than anything and can't see yourself without him then it doesn't really matter. This life makes you appreciate the moments you do have, and realize the little things other couples get upset over aren't as big of a deal anymore. Life is what you make it, that goes for being a military spouse as well, if you are they type who sits there and complains and whines and sees no good in the situation then you will be miserable. If you embrace it, make friends, support him, and understand the demands he is put through every day then you should be fine. Not saying you won't have your issues, we all do. But it's what you make of them and how you deal with it, that makes the difference. Everyone always says pick your battles, I can't think of a better rule of thumb in the military spouse life. Pick your battles, don't make mountains out of mole hills.

I do think subs have shorter deployments, because of how small they are. And it seems like it would be WAY harder, with ultimately no communication. So I would def. applaud you if you stuck it out.

I guess it comes down to the rest of your life with him? Or without? Is sometimes better than never?

[DanaMN ~Kris's Mom~NCTS SanDiego]

As a former Navy girl myself who married a Navy Sailor and now we are parents of a future Sailor (he graduates on 10/15! YAY! ) I can honestly say that I would not have changed a thing. We were both in the Navy back in the 90's and we've been together for 19 years!

Keep in mind that this is a very good job and the economy, as I'm sure you've noticed, is not so good right now. Being in the military is a privilege and he's made a great choice. He will be able to provide well for a future family. Please don't be discouraged by the negatives because the positives far outweigh them!!

Our son joined for 4 years. He'll have a great job, good pay, future college paid for and will learn valuable life skills. I got my degree in 2002 - fully paid for by the US Navy. The benefits are great!

I won't lie and say the separations are easy - because they aren't. Hubby was on a 6 month Med Cruise when our son was born. He didn't get to meet his son until he was 3 months old. He got to call home now and then and we wrote to each other all the time but we were limited by the technology available to us back then. You're lucky!!! You have many more options today: email, video chat, cell phones, etc. Part of being a military wife or fiance or girlfriend involves supporting your Sailor. It'll be difficult sometimes but he'll look to you for strength and stability.

Life is full of challenges and I bet that you will find you are stronger than you think. My advice to you would be to make friends with other Navy wives. Begin to build a support group. But choose wisely!!! Hang around people who have similar values to you.

You should be very proud of your fiance for volunteering for military service and people will be proud of you for being there for him. We are thankful for your sacrifice and our country is made stronger for it! Let me know if you have other questions!!!

HUGS to you!!! :)