Being a Nuke Mom is hard work!!

[becciquilter]

Just when I think I have all my problems licked, up comes another!  Some of you may remember me as the Mom who hadn't heard from her sailor (bless his little heart) for over 6 months.  I'm the mom who emailed the base mediators (several times) and then wrote the base commander - twice.  Um, ok - so I now know better!  But if I had to do it all over again, would I?  Um, er, (blush) let's address that another day!

 

My sailor is up in Ballston Spa and graduation date is rapidly approaching.  Our communication has still been sketchy, but when he rings up, he sounds like his old self.  He's called when he was driving home in a snowstorm and just wanted someone to talk to while he navigated dark, icy roads (I'm not sure which of us had the whitest knuckles though!)  He has a hands free system in his car and just wanted a voice to help him stay calm while trying to get home!  I would never encourage anyone to drive and talk, but it wasn't the time to say "Get off the phone!!"  I'm thinking of drinking Miss Clariol to see if it will cover the white hair quicker!!  Yikes!!  On the one hand, I didn't want to encourage the talking while driving.  But on the other hand, I recognized the need for a calm voice when it was most needed.  Double Whammy - but we got through it!!

 

He's told his sister how difficult Prototype is and how the hours are long and draining.  He said he just wants to finish and move on. 

 

I just wanted to take a minute to thank everyone who's prayed with me that our relationship with our son would be restored and that God's Will be done.  Thank you ---

 

And he even called me on my birthday this year to wish me a Happy Birthday and that he missed me.  I didn't think it would make up for last year's fiasco, but I was wrong!  It was so nice to hear the boy I raised had turned into a decent human being!! 

 

By the way - when I ask specific questions about the exams and so forth, he says "Man, that Navy Mom site has way to much information!!"  But he answers the questions!

 

Have an awesome week everyone and again:  THANK YOU!

 

becci

[becciquilter]

Mine was a real snob when it came to hand-me-downs.  He had to know and approve the previous owner.  My sister-in-law brought us a bag of beautiful shirts.  When Nuke Boy asked where they had come from, I told him they were from Joel.  I immediately realized my error when I saw the brows coming together (had never heard of "Joel"). I added that Joel was his cousin that we didn't discuss because it was a family secret.  He called his sister on the phone and asked her who Joel was.  She said that she didn't know and that I was probably making it up.  "Of course she wouldn't know - its a family secret and she doesn't know anything about Joel".

This lie went on for months.  He would ask my mother and I would explain my mother was in on it and was pretending not to know Joel.  For months this went on. I had an explanation for everything - Joel was in a home for special needs.  His parents were devastated everytime they went to see him.  His other cousins didn't know.  This lie took a life all of its own.  When I finally came clean, he wouldn't believe me - said I was just trying to protect the family secret.

He asked me a question a few weeks ago on the phone and I gave him an answer (don't remember because it wasn't one of those LIFE moments!).  He asked if I was telling the truth.  I said "have I ever lied to you?"  Well, except for the cousin Joel thing, I've been pretty truthful.  Mostly.  Sort of. Kind of. When necessary.

I sure wish I had come up with the chicken farm though.  That was awesome!!  Er, he might be getting even with you though - What a great sense of humor you have!!  You definitely fit right in here!!

 

[NancyJo (NNPTC)]

That cousin Joel thing is priceless!! You should send that in to Reader's Digest except they probably are kinda fussy about the lying thing.  Any mom worth her salt knows when to use dire tactics.  

 

This isn't really a mom thing but one time I got home from running errands to find my young man sweeping out the garage and driveway.  Good enough.  Then I notice the duct tape over his mouth.  I go to his dad to ask what's up.  He said that our boy got mouthy so dad put duct tape on his mouth and told him to sweep.  He could quit when he decided he could show more respect and apologize. Which he did.  Wish I had thought of that. 

[becciquilter]

Never, EVER be too embarrassed to share!!  :)  When you find out that others have/has/had a kid like yours, it's such a relief!!  My kid is remembered from doing somersaults down the center aisle at church, yelling my name because he couldn't remember where we were sitting.  But wait - it got worse!!  When he reached the pulpit, he pulled out a purple flannel bag with Crown Royal embroidered on it to give his offerings.  Argh!!  Yes, I was praying the floor would open up and swallow one of us (preferably me at the moment!) 

 

But wait - it got worse!!  I'm the one who gave him the purple bag.  I thought Crown Royal was Royal Crown Cola!!!!!!   :(

 

b

[NancyJo (NNPTC)]

HAHAHAHA RC Cola!  Good one.  Sounds like something I would do.

[becciquilter]

Apparently everyone knew but me!  Moon Pies and RC Cola!! 

[BLW]

becciquilter - once again you gave me some smiles, laughs and understandings. I think a lot of people thank you for your honesty too. I'm so glad I was able to help some when you needed it. Very few of us have perfect sons and relationships.

Even though my son calls about once a week and chats some on facebook, he is pretty closed about feelings and emotions. I am lucky that I don't have to share him with a girlfriend though! Even though he is home on leave right now, he still spends most of his time by himself - that is the way he has always been. If I am patient, little by little I can pull some information out of him, but he is a very private kind of person.

 

I guess we have to realize that we now have adult children and they are finding their own way in the world. They don't want to have to come to mommy with everything anymore - and they shouldn't. Our job is to be confident that we raised them well to be strong and independent. (I don't always do this well yet!)

 

 

[becciquilter]

Brenda - YOU are the ray of sunshine in my life.  You've shed light when I could only see darkness.  I'm so glad Jonathan made it home safe and sound.  When does he have to report to the next station? How long had it been since he had been home?  Are you still beaming?

 

Matt is attending the wedding of a Navy friend tomorrow (Saturday).  He still is carrying a torch for a gal in Indiana and wants to visit her.  I suggested (ok, I told him) he go to Indiana first and then come home.  My little self-esteem just isn't in shape to see her boy run off to see a girl when he just got home!!!

 

This website has really taught me a lot!!  And I think the most important thing I learned is that I'm not alone.  I'm not the only one who feels the way I do.  And I've learned why some animals kill their young.  I'm just saying.....

 

:)

 

becciquilter

We got the quilting machine back from the factory (they were awesome!) and I'm trying to finish a baby quilt and have at least 4 more quilts backed up to quilt.  In the meanwhile, I have several commission quilts that I haven't finished sewing together that the owners think are finished.  Wonder how Nuke Boy feels about quilting?!!!

[becciquilter]

For years I thought the biggest challenges were "Will I make it through the day without killing him, Lord?"  And I'm happy to report that he is still living and I didn't get carted off to jail!!

 

b

[elizabeth77(USS SAN FRANCISCO)]

ditto

 

[becciquilter]

One thing I'll say for Nukes: when they get into trouble, they know who to turn to.

 

Nuke Boy had locked himself out of the house.  He could hear the dog whining and knew if he didn't get inside quickly, the dog was going to have an accident and he would have to clean it up.  So what does a Nuke do?  He does what he's seen on TV hundreds of times: He kicks in the door.  Only the door doesn't quite kick in - it's bashed and hanging crooked with the frame still attached and a HUGE hole!  Nuke Boy runs to the neighbor's house and pleas for help.  The neighbor calls and says I have an emergency at home and please come pronto.  Neighbor is also the church associate minister so I have to chose my words with care.

 

That's what it's like to live with a Nuke.  You just never know what's going on in their little pea brains. 

 

Nancy - the story about the duct tape is a scream!  That one made tears come to my eyes.  Nuke Boy wanted to know if it hurt when a woman waxed her "mustache" so he used duct tape to experiment.  I never did hear the results, but I was never asked again!!

[Binker & Bro: 2X Nuke Mom]

I spent years trying to sell mine and then give them away (#2 could be a nuke boy also, if he could get enough intelligence to figure out that 48000 a year for college to become a history teacher is so very unsat!) but no one would take either one.

 

When LadyLove and I were messing around with Binker last night after my arrival, somehow the need to wash his mouth with soap came up and he said for me to "go ahead. they dont have liquid soap here so you cant swish it around my teeth and clean my mouth right anyway". Liquid soap worked so much better than chewing on bar soap until he went running down the street claiming I was poisoning him!

 

When the death thing came up, I always stuck to the fact that in jail, I wouldnt have to deal with them, choose my own clothes or worry about where the next meal was coming from. they only better place would be the "funny farm" (as my mom called it) and any judge who met the two of them would send me there instead of prison anyway!

 

hugs ladies! my two nukes both passed comps for power yesterday!

 

[quiltblue]

Dear Moms! I have laughed and cried reading this discussion today... wow, my son is very similar to all of yours!  He never talks to me, he doesn't call me, he didn't get his Eagle until his 18th birthday, so he didn't get his drivers license until after he turned 18 either. Wasn't great at doing his homework, not in HS or college, but he managed to graduate from HS on time and even went to college and got an associates degree. I never, ever expected him losing his job because he keep forgetting to get up in time to get to work. Well, they finally fired him and since Texas is a right to work state, he got NO unemployment since he lost his job due to his own stupidity... the money ran out so he moved home. Then he surprised us by joining the NAVY! Wow, that was such a shocking announcement! My baby???!!!???? Well, better to do that than be a bum (I thought), plus his Grandfather was a Navy man (he didn't recognize that in the military photo all these years? sitting on the bookshelf?).   Finally, the day arrived for him to leave for BC... I cried as I dropped him off at the recruiters office, knowing that I wouldn't see him again for two months!  

  He called home every phone call to me, his Mom! I hardly left the house for fear of missing his phone calls. He has never had a girlfriend, so I was pretty sure he would call home. He forgot to take so many of the phone numbers he needed to take with him (I sent them in one of the 1st letters, but then regretted sending them - I feared he would call them instead of me). 

  Well, he is now in GC and we Skype-chat frequently (not enough). He doesn't give me information, I get it from N4Ms. I am still learning which new sites and discussions to join during his A school.

  For those of you with sons that don't talk to you, I feel the pain. My daughter-in-love (oldest son's wife) is the coordinator of their family and if I want to know anything about him or my Grandsons, I have to call, text or email her. My SON never calls me! He is awful about it, he forgets to call his wife to let her know things as well, so I am thankful that I am not the only one.  After all the bible says that the Man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, so I know that is what truly will happen, even with my Nuke Boy!

  I have a 22 yr old daughter I am ready to have move out! She is driving me crazy!  Thanks for having a site to vent, I'll be back!