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Comment by FireTeamLeaderWife aka FTLW on October 5, 2012 at 6:53pm

I totally understand Juliette and Everyone. Believe me I do. My husband had a LOT of personnel issues in Iraq and it was so frustrating to hear about them. One of the harder parts is that is as much detail as I can give about it. It's hard. The only comfort I get in having to "hold that in" is that at least I know that there are others who "get me". I have looked a ew moms/wives in the eye and said very little. They know.

We can't "see" each other on here...but we "know". A few words a "you got me" and we all understand.

I know the privacy of this site gets brought up. Many like other social media as they feel they can speak more openly about what is going on with their servicemembers. I am not going to pick one specific because there is a lot out there. I am going to tell you my view on this. ANYTHING you put out on the internet is out there. Plain and simple. No one "knows" each other for the most part. Whatever you post is capable of getting out into the open. Either by someone "posing" as a good guy and joinig a site or simply a disgruntled group member doing one of these:

Highlight.

Copy.

Paste.

What was private is now public. No one has control over that. Here or anywhere.

This site is public. It will remain that way. Why?

There are many who do not "do computers" well. Or they may not feel comfortable at all about being on ANY social media. I know I read the site for about a month before I even joined. It is a place to get educated and learn for the long haul. So the information needs to be available for them as well. You can make groups private but it is disasterous for the PIR groups. If the creator cannot be available to admit members on a private/approval only group they can't get on. Plus, it isn't very inviting.

This site is Navy sponsored  BUT it is run by volunteers. There is a main Site Administrator, but the rest of us stay here becuase we wish to help those behind us.

I LOVE ny husband but you'll notice that I do not post his name, pic (other than that profile pic right now!), specifics about him. Even though you all would never know about him or even have the chance too. Many would think that overkill and my husband even said that I could post a pic!(shocker for me as he is the one who ahs "trained me" over the years)  I choose not too because of what I do on here. So if anyone "has a beef" with me...it stays with me, hopefully.

I don't release specifics about my Seabee too much either. My preferance and choice.

If anyone is not comfortable with the settings for their Personal Profile than I advise you change them. Many do, even if it's just for the duration of BC. Just to keep there recruit "under the radar".

I have a post on how to change your Profile Picture, usrename, URL and settings. I will add it to PAGES and spost a link there as welll.

Comment by FireTeamLeaderWife aka FTLW on October 5, 2012 at 6:30pm

I have a word of caution for you all. You really have not done anything wrong as no names were mentioned.

This is the place to come and vent. However, this is my "take" on this.

Just a "pre" caution for you all as letters are starting to come in...

Sometimes a recruit will write home that their Division isn't getting it together...and they may write what their opinion is as to why. Examples...people won't stop talking...don’t listen...so it gets the Division in trouble etc. Some "moms" have felt led to ask others to please write their recruits to behave themselves if they think it is their recruit doing it (which I think is unfair personally...how would you know and they don't need us slamming them in BC for something we have no control over). Some read the posts and take it upon themselves to write their recruit about it.

I don't advise this at all...it can come around and bite that recruit and possibly the "mom" who posts it right in the behind! I say it because I have seen it happen and felt horrible for the injured parties.

One...this is common...and for some recruits may continue until the end of BC..but you will be amazed at how much change will occur after the fourth week for the better! Two, it is a personal vent between you and your recruit and should stay that way. Three, it's not really our problem anymore...they have signed a contract as an adult and it is the RDC's job to instill order along with the Recruit Petty Officers...as well as a chance for your SR's to blossom and grow.

So, just a caution for you all...not a slam. Want the best for you and your SR's.

(I recently had a mom contact me privately about this and ask me to please warn future PIR groups...so that is what I am doing! Not my fave subject...but the flip side is knowing, "Could I have done something to help before it happened?")

This is "boot camp" for most of you all too.  A place to learn about being the spouse/GF/Mom etc of a servicemember.

OPSEC, PERSEC, will be for your future Sailors entire career. Some have secret and top secret clearances and will not even be able to tell you about aspects of their schooling or job. Even BS21 in BC. They sign a Confidentiality Agreement not to discuss the details of their BS21 experience.

Yes, your letters get interupted, but there will be many more times this will happen over the years for other reasons. Not trying to be harsh...it's just something that you all have to get used to over time. It takes time.

The hard part is that we are the ones that they come to...talk to about this stuff...release their frustrations.

Don't let this keep you from posting. Just keep it as generic as you can/have.

Comment by Kimphillips (SHIP 11 DIV 364 ) on October 5, 2012 at 6:26pm

Just wanted to share one thing from my boys letter! "Mom I hate whitey tightys.. I feel like i have a wedgee all the time..I can't wait to be able to put my Boxers back on!" LOL! Thought you all would get a kick out of it and make you smile!

Comment by Juliette on October 5, 2012 at 6:16pm

FTLW...oh it totally makes sense, I know. I don't even know who these guys are that's ruining it for everyone else, but I just found it kind of frustrating that my SR keeps getting his letter time interrupted - it's the only form of communication he has right now, as well as the others - so I'd hate to see that get cut short. Hopefully the bad ones get weeded out....I'd like to see him succeed..and I'd like to hear from him as much as he has the chance! I know there's those types in every kind of group such as this, so I get it...it's just frustrating.

Comment by Kimphillips (SHIP 11 DIV 364 ) on October 5, 2012 at 6:12pm

I hope i get a phone call! I miss his voice soo much. I have gotten 8 letters so far and what a boost! He said they get letters Monday- Fridays. He can write Sundays, Tuesdays &Thursdays. Yippy! I want to hear his voice more than ever yhough!

Comment by FireTeamLeaderWife aka FTLW on October 5, 2012 at 6:11pm

Juliette - I know that you needed a "vent" but I am going to answer the question you asked within it, k?

Believe it or not this is pretty normal behavior for every Division. Especially in these beginning weeks.

*Not cool - why keep punishing the group if you're not serious about boot camp?*

The ones that truly don't beliong there will most likely not finish. Even then, some will and then have issues out in the fleet. Just like any other career. Hubby and I were just talking about this the other day (he is law enforcement at his "real" job as well). Some are just not suited for military life and again believe it or not...there is a percentage who were "marched down to the recruiters office"...if you get my drift.

They are trying to develop a team mentality. This will happen with neggative and positive reinforcement.

As far as all being "punished"...they will all have their "rewards' together as well. Like when they earn flags. The whole division earns the flag...some may have scored lower but it belongs to them.

Your recruits are still in the third week of training. Most times we see a "shift" in the tone of letters coming home after the fourth week of training. Everyone has settled in and "gets it" and just starts to work better.

Comment by Juliette on October 5, 2012 at 6:05pm

I'm thrilled for you Anndrya, now you can relax and enjoy your weekend lol. I'm glad to hear he's doing well! Kassandra...yeah it's like what the heck? He was writing to me in his letters and twice he was cut short because of it. I don't really get it either..it's the navy - you signed up to become more disciplined and regimented. Why keep ruining things for your division? Mine sounds pretty frustrated as well...very frustrated. Btw...I'm so there with you on the marriage thing - him and I as well have thought about the legal thing first! Message me if you ever want to talk...i've been with my fiance for 2 years too...we're very much similar! 

Comment by Anndrya (Ship-13 div-366) on October 5, 2012 at 5:53pm

Yes I know!! I thought I wasn't going to get one! Lol but he's doing great! And sounds great!! He said he's getting use to it now. He said yesterday wasn't a good day but today isn't so bad. But felt so good to hear him!!!

Comment by Juliette on October 5, 2012 at 5:52pm

Just a quick vent, but my fiance had mentioned in letters alot how immature some of the kids were in his division - he mentioned no names. He said repeatedly a few times the petty officers got sick of their behavior and punished all of them several times. What really makes me mad, is he got interrupted several times while in the middle of writing his letters to me. He had a few instances where he had to quit his letters because they had to get up out of bed  and do a million jumping jacks, push ups and all types of things because of someone else's poor behavior. Not cool - why keep punishing the group if you're not serious about boot camp? Secondly...I want to hear from my SR and I really don't appreciate him getting stopped during his brief letter writing time! Not cool to me, just saying! 

Comment by Juliette on October 5, 2012 at 5:49pm

Wooo Hooo..I told you Anndrya!!! I'm so happy for you! How did the call go...how did he sound??

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