BOOT CAMP EMOTIONS

[Cat(Mom of an AO)]

Found this in another group and thought I would share:

 

  This was posted by Susan H(Div. 942 PIR 9/3) on the wall....I thought it was something that everyone that has had or will have a loved one leave should read!


I hope this is not considered "off topic" for the DEPPERs page, but it's something that I wish I'd known before sending my DEPPER to Boot Camp. I'm talking about "The Emotional Roller Coaster of Boot Camp Loved Ones." (I know, this will never be on the NY Times best-seller list - the title is way too long! LOL

The first emotion that surprised me was the relief of finally getting my recruit started on her Boot Camp adventure. I felt a little guilty at this relief until I figured out that this was something she had worked for nine months to accomplish. Of course I felt relieved! She had achieved the first benchmark of her journey.

Next came the sadness and frustration at the realization that I couldn't contact her at will. My daughter was 17 and had just barely graduated from high school. She hadn't ever been away from me for more that a week at a time and all those times she'd had a cell phone. This, combined with my fear of the unknown (is she getting enough sleep? does she like the food? how is she handling the yelling?) and I was soon a mess.

The next emotional stage that set in was grief. Yes, grief. I lost my mother 5 years ago and I can tell you my sadness and depression at "losing" my daughter to Boot Camp felt exactly the same. During this stage - probably the first 2 weeks - I cried at the most random things. Seeing her book still sitting on the end table, smelling her hair product when I put her folded laundry in her room, being asked at church how she was doing. My heart was so heavy at times that it was hard to breathe. This period was punctuated with two letters and "the kid in a box." God must have known that I needed these things to make it through with my sanity intact. At times my husband seriously thought that I had lost it. Friends and family suggested that I should find things to do to get my mind off of my daughter. So I put on a good face and went along with their plans, but my heart wasn't in it. One thing that made me feel better was the time I spent weeding and cultivating my little vegetable garden. The other thing that helped was a nearly 24 hour N4Ms IV. :o) I did a lot of "lurking" in my groups and tried to connect with loved ones who had recruits in the same PIR group as my daughter.

After that I finally made it to the emotional roller coaster stage of Boot Camp. As weekly letters kept arriving, I began to understand that my daughter was doing just fine without me. A phone call at the end of the 3rd week of her absence was another Godsend and I was riding on top. It was so wonderful to hear her voice and to ask her those crazy "mom" questions: Do you have any friends? Are the RDCs fair? How are you handling the PT? In subsequent weeks I could knew the day of the week that her letters arrived and practically stalked our poor letter carrier. One week when her letter didn't show up until Saturday (all mangled) I was nearly back to square one.

Finally, the stage I'm in now is the "home stretch" stage. The emotions are a mixture of anticipation, doubts, wonder and excitement. I'm trying to anticipate how it will feel to see her and hug her and hear her voice. I'm unfortunately having some doubts that she'll make it to her original PIR date because of some health problems she's having (it's a long story). I'm in wonder of this person who is writing home about how much she loves clean windows and the relief she felt when she was able to get back to running with her division (huh? who stole my daughter?) Finally, I'm allowing myself to get excited to go back to Great Lakes and celebrate her accomplishment.

I know this is a long post and I'm not claiming that you will all feel the same way I have. Each person's journey through the Boot Camp experience is unique. I hope that I have helped you to understand that the highs and lows of the Boot Camp roller coaster can be survived. As my 82-year-old father says, "Sometimes mere survival is an accomplishment!"

[Gina - Ship 07, Div. 050]

I love this!

[Ellen B]

It's funny, Gina...I just read this, too and feel the same way...guess we are NORMAL insane Mom's..LOL:)

[Gina - Ship 07, Div. 050]

You betcha Ellen! I can't wait to meet you in person! I'm doing so much "robbing Peter to pay Paul" to get this trip arranged, but I almost got it figured out. Payday on the 15th I may be purchasing my tickets as long as nothing breaks around here.

[chew92]

Indeed, this would be the definition of a MOM.... an excellent post. Thank you so much for posting this Mom's essay on this site, Cat. We will survive!! is a great message.

[Penny_Nuke_MM2_NimitzNuke]

Oh girl, I can so relate, especially to your comment about it feeling just like when you lost your mom. I lost my mom 4 years ago almost to the day that my son left for boot camp and then lost my father barely over two years ago and YES, it felt the same. I was grieving so bad about the loss of my son, it was painful. The thought of seeing him again made me cry, thoughts of him sitting in his smurfs leaned up against the next man while in processing and not being able to hold his head up to keep from sleeping made me cry, thoughts of how on earth I am going to go for the next 8 weeks without seeing him made me cry .... it was awful!!

But today I finally got the form letter and did my best not to rip it wide open!! I threw everything else aside and pulled out the form letter and went straight to the bottom four lines - I was ravenous to hear anything. Here's what I got.

"It's been an interesting week. I might not get to write letters on days except Sundays. Send me Pictures, Lauren! (his girlfriend) I love you baby. Mom, I miss you and your cooking :) But they keep me alive here at least. We're about to take the PQS test. gotta go. Love you. PS Had to re-do grad date. We're graduating a week early.

Words never sounded so good. So glad to finally see his writing and know that it was from him. Can't wait until later in the week to see his very first letter.

Penny