Who to talk to?

[Lorraine66]

Hi all, just wondering if there is someone that the freshman NROTC can talk to in how to handle the stress. I've been talking to my son and he is having a hard time with the mental stress and I don't know what to say anymore. He doesn't want to talk to the freshman NROTC advisor as he doesn't want to show any weakness. Is there support at the schools? I appreciate any help/information. If this is something they just have to deal with, I'd appreciate knowing that too....

[Lorraine66]

Hi Fran,  thanks for the information!  I passed it on to David!  I am so glad to have it from someone that went through it that it really does get better after India Company.  I had heard that it did but only from people who thought it did but couldn't say for sure.  Glad I wasn't lying to David!  lol

[NavymomBarb]

My daughter's unit also has mentors.  They are usually Sophomores who have just gone through that first year.  In fact she was a mentor herself.  But she started out in orientation crying and wanting out of the whole program!  That first year is such a hard transition...they feel so much pressure from harder classes than high school, navy commitments, and just being away from home for the first time.  I found that I didn't really have to do too much other than listen.  She really didn't want me to help, or fix it for her, or even offer advice.  I was just the person she felt the most comfortable with to vent.  It was the same for me in that she rarely let her dad see how scared, discouraged, frustrated, etc. that she was.  No, I got it all.  That is a hard burden for a mom!  But 2nd semester got a little better.  She made friends in the unit who were going through the same thing and they could support each other.  By 2nd year and after CORTRAMID, she was an old pro.  They all go through that period of "paying their dues"...not able to talk to the older Mids, finding their way, etc.  Now she is a 5th year aerospace engineering student just waiting until Oct. to find out if she makes it into Aviation and so looking forward to a career in the Navy.  While not everyone makes it through the first year of major pressure, a majority of them do and the benefits are huge!  Hang in there!  Pray a lot.  Keep listening.  Use this forum so you can also vent!  We know what you are going through.

[Lorraine66]

Thanks for your story NavymomBarb, David says he is definitely not enjoying college yet but I think he knows deep down it will get better.  This has been a big transition for him even though he has been away from home at times with scouts and other trips.  I think for me the hardest part is listening and not fixing...I am a "fixer".  It's in my genes to help people and it kills me not to help David.  I do realize that not "helping" him is the best thing I could do for him but it is still hard to live through.  

Dave is in engineering too and now carries 21 credits which is crazy for freshman year but he wanted to do it.  He is really trying to juggle his time and I hope he can do it.  He actually left a math class early today to finish a Navy assignment that he didn't realize was due today.  He knows it was his fault for failing to be organized and sent the professor a nice email apologizing. I guess if you are late to a Naval class they ask you to leave and you can not return for the rest of the semester.  He wasn't taking any chances on that I guess.  David has friends in the NROTC and they help each other with ROTC things which is great but he was thinking they only wanted to do ROTV things I guess.  He is a quiet old soul and I had to "force" him to get in touch with midshipmen this past weekend and he ended up going to get pizza and cookies with them.  I am so glad it worked out for him.

Thanks again for you helpful information and I wish the best for your daughter.  I pray she makes it into Aviation!  That's what David wants too. :)

Lorraine

[Lorraine66]

Thanks Hanksmom!  Is this true during India Company (his first 6 weeks too) as he signed something saying he wouldn't talk to upperclassmen.  If this is so, I will definitely tell David that he can talk to his Company Commander and what your son said.  The hard part will be getting him to do so.  He can be quite stubborn when he wants to...

I think I am beginning to see that his day-to-day may not be as terrible as he makes it sound.  I think I am getting the "panic" texts and the "I've had enough" texts when he is at his limit.  It seems to pass and I don't hear from him for a day.  I am keeping my fingers crossed and praying often and having prayers said for him.  This has been the longest 4 weeks of my life although the first 2 were definitely the worst...

Thanks again for asking your son about this and sharing. :)  I really appreciate the information.

Take care,

Lorraine

[Lorraine66]

Just returned from Parents weekend visiting my son. It was wonderful to see him. He looked great and is planning for his future within the Navy (keeping fingers crossed). :) David was telling me that this is the first year that "boot camp" was incorporated into the school year. I guess the budget cuts hit the military hard and they had to cut the week of summer "boot camp" (not sure what it is technically called) that has been the norm for many years. He was told that their class is the first class to go through this 6 weeks and the instructors admitted it is the hardest program yet. I think this is the reason that your son never heard of signing that contract hanksmom. I am somewhat relieved to know this Information and know David has just about made it through. One more week until Fall Review!

[Fran]

We were there too, Lorraine and heard much the same you did:)  They are a special group, forming wonderful bonds.  Can't wait until Tuesday!