Got a call from my daughter last night that she was sent to ship 5 last night, after her 2nd day at boot camp. They were "walking quickly" down a hall way that had just been mopped the recruit in front of her started to slip but caught herself, she slipped , fell and 4 other recruits fell on top of her, she hit her knee on the floor when she went down and it started to swell so they sent her to medical where they told her she would be dropped, she started to cry so then they sent her to see a shrink. She doesn't want to be separated, but doesn't want to sit in ship 5 for months waiting on an appeal. She goes back to the doc this morning. If she is separated so be it, but I don't want the shrink thing to hurt her chances of going back later if she decides she wants too. My husband and I are both former military and I was a recruiter, so I know it will be next to impossible for her to go back with that on her record. What can she do to try and make sure that doesn't happen. Also any idea how long she maybe in ship 5 before she is sent home.
Serenasmom, If your daughter's experience is anything like my son's, it will take about a month before she gets home if she decides not to stay and appeal the decision. If she does stay, it will take longer. If you have a congress member who is an advocate for military personnel involving them now in the process may be one of your best options. The folks at the RTC will hate that, but they will listen to that level of advocacy before they will listen to parents or recruits. My son did not stay and challenge his separation and has no regrets...yet, but I stay concerned that this will become a problem for him in the future. I advised him to stay and challenge their assertions (involved a shrink as well), but he was so disillusioned by the experience he just wanted to come home. I will say that I believe that they play fast and loose with psychiatric diagnoses. No clinician here, and my son has seen several since his return, have been willing or able to confirm the findings of the military docs who sent him home. It seems to be the military process that's broken - not your daughter, nor my son. Hang in there - you are not alone.
Thanks, she called yesterday, she has decided not to appeal as well. they told her 10-20 days, but I am guessing that because of the holidays it may take longer. I hope I am wrong and they speed up the process because of the holiday, but I will definitely be surprised if she is home by Christmas. She sounded ok, a little down, but not as bad as I had expected. I told her to do everything possible to not accept an RE4 and to sign the privacy waiver so I can talk to someone there. How long did it take your son to get into Legal? She hasn't seen them yet and I had read on another post that they were closing on Monday for the holidays.
Serenasmom, It took 10 days for my son to get to legal, then 20 days more before he was actually home. One of the things they told us in legal that helped was to have my son go to medical and request his records while there so that he could hand-deliver them to legal. As they explained, when there is a medical discharge, legal cannot do anything until they have the medical record. My son going himself and offering to deliver his own record meant that copying the record was not just something on someone's to-do list. A live person standing in front you making a request gets more attention than a detail on your desk. Still it took far longer than we expected. My son asked me to keep making some noise as he was hearing stories of recruits being held there for months, not because of appeals. I guess it was a bit of the squeaky wheel getting the grease. It was a tough call on my part because I wanted to believe that there was, in some way, a good reason for him to be there for the duration he was there - like some lesson he needed to learn in order to grow or some struggle he needed to have in order to learn more about himself. It turns out there is no intentional process. There's just a lot of red tape. My role became one of advocacy. I just kept calling every few days to ask where things were in the process. It didn't get ugly or mean, but the Chief of the Deck was able to recognize me by my voice by the time my son came home. I'm truly thankful for him (Chief Steinborn), because I believe that he did all he could do to help. It's just not an efficient system. I do think it is possible that the holidays could have an affect on your daughter's return date. That will make things especially challenging. I would encourage you to keep writing since calling is quite difficult for the recruits. As they explained it to me, there are something like 10 phones for 100 recruits and a limited time for them to make calls. When someone does not behave as they should in a compartment, phone time is more limited even though somewhere on this site it says that phone time is not used as a form of discipline. My bottom line for myself was that if I needed to know how my son was doing, I called. I didn't always get to talk to him when I called; in fact, I think I only got to talk to him immediately one time when I called. What it did for me was reassure me that he would not get lost in the shuffle.
This paid off in a surprising way. The day my son left the RTC to return home was the first day of the government shutdown. I called that morning because my son had called to say he would be home and the date of his return, saying that he would call over the weekend with the itinerary, but he had not called. I spoke to one of the petty officers. She went and found my son and the others who were scheduled for departure that day and called him out by name, sternly, asking why he had not called his mom with his itinerary. My son answered that he did not have an itinerary and that none of the recruits/sailors in the departure room had an itinerary. She left immediately to get across the base to pick them up since the travel agent is a civilian contract employee who was not there due to the shutdown. When she left the room my son turned to the others and said, "ya'll can thank my mom."
If you decide to make some noise, you never know, you may be helping more than your daughter. My thoughts are with you and your daughter during this intensely difficult and challenging time. Hang in there. You are not alone in this journey and neither is she.
Thank you for your reassuring thoughts. Should I be calling Legal. I called there today and left my name and phone number. The person on the other end said he didn't know when I would get a call back "because today is Friday" and maybe there would be no one in to call back "What?" If no call by this afternoon, I will call again. What is your son doing now. Is he trying to go back? Please friend me so we can talk more privately (if you want to).
My son called Friday the 13th to tell us he is being discharged, he believes a general discharge but states he will see Legal on Monday. He is five weeks into BC with dreams of being in the Navy and making a name for himself to be proud of. He went to medical because he strained his back during PT but after they pulled his files they claim he is being discharged because of an IEP he had when in school. He has a regular high school diploma, graduated with high grades, got a 23 on his SAT's and now because of something I put him through when he was six he is being discharged. He divulged all this info to his recruiter and during processing prior to being accepted! He does not want to fight this because that means he will be in holding longer and have to do BC all over again. Not sure what I expect by telling you this but I am thankful and angry at the same time. Thankful that he is healthy and no issues were found with his back but angry that they are using such a lame excuse to weed out individuals while destroying their dreams. Don't know what to do if anything, and not sure he wants me too anyways! Feeling frustrated. :(
Proudmom94. My son has a similar situation and please don't put any blame on yourself. I did at first but we were advocating for our sons when they were younger. We gave them what they needed to succeed and I would not do anything different. I haven't heard from my son and I want him to fight this because it is not fair. My son has a regular HS diploma as well. I have spoken to a doctor who told me there is such a thing as adolescent ADHD and that children can outgrow it. Clearly, my son has outgrown it; he functions, he perseveres and he is not a any medication. Please hang in there and I will pray for you.
We just got the call that my daughter is being sent home for depression as well. This is all she has talked about for years. So disappointed for her. She had to leave her husband and 2 kids and I guess it was too much on her.