Separated for A.D.D.

[Mom-Adam A]

My son left for boot camp yesterday. These past few weeks, and even at his oath he has been so strong and proud.  When he landed in Chicago last night he called me to say he doesn't think this is for him. I tried to encourage him to give it a shot, that it hasn't even been a day.  Today he calls that he is in Separation because of his diagnosis for Attention Deficit Disorder and has not been off his medication for a year. Also because of attending therapy for his A.D.D. 

I am so torn!  Part of me feels like he is giving up.  But the other part of me has been so worried about him because of his anger issues and thinking he will make boot camp so much harder for himself because he has issues with anger. 

I worry so much about him even before joining the Navy because his father has had issues with depression and has had suicide attempts.  When he enlisted, which was without my knowledge and completely his decision, I questioned if he was able to because of his A.D.D. diagnosis.  I don't know if he has been completely honest about his medical history from the beginning.   

I am torn because I feel if I encourage him to stick it through and God forbid something happens it will be my fault.  No one but a mother seems to understand that we are not making excuses for them but stating the facts. 

I have no support in my home that I share with my boyfriend of 4 years.  Come hell or high water, my son will always come first

 

[AZNavymom]

I'm sorry you and your son are going through this. It's a shame they don't have the recruiters tell these recruits they aren't eligible up front. My son was dx with ADHD as a child. In 11th grade, he went to a recruiter who said as long as he's off meds 6 months before he enlists. he is fine.He had been off meds for 2 months at that point. By the time he enlisted in his senior year, he was off for 8 months and when he left for BC, it had been over a year. We wrote everything down on his enlistment papers, medical questionnaire and the online security entries. We figured if the recruiter was wrong, admin would let us know, since they had 8 months until he was leaving (after H.S. graduation).

He was in bootcamp a week when they then called him in and said his ADHD made him in eligible and sent him to ship 5. When I finally saw the rules for this, he meets the criteria for a waiver and should have been eligible. But it was too late - when you're out, you're out. You can fight it and it takes a long time and blah blah blah. But the bottom line is, my son should have gotten a waiver before going, but no one ever told him that.

So, here's how this all applies to your son. Your son may have been honest and no one paid attn till he got to BC. It seems they send them all over and sort it out later. Or, if he wasn't honest, the found out. Either way, because he was on meds less than a year before BC, he is ineligible.  There are cases where it pays to fight it, but I think you can't win since he had meds and therapy less than a year before entry. Of course, you should validate what I'm saying with someone official, but this is my understanding.

I don't think you telling him to stick it through will do anything -----but I'm no expert.

It is my personal opinion that they Navy is missing out on some excellent sailors by sending them home for ADD, ADHD, depression (because they are a little worried their first few days, for example) and other things. It's a shame. My son wanted this since age 12, was in ROTC all through high school etc.  There were guys there that went on a whim because they couldn't find a job and told my son they really were going to just to the minimum to get by and get a paycheck.

I feel your pain. It sucks. Feel free to friend me and we can talk more via private messages.