Roton Groton?

[Mitchell's Babygirl]

Hello, I am a Submariner's wife. He is just starting his A School for his Rate and moved me to Groton, CT in September. It's been almost 2 months and I still don't know anyone here....Now, I have met a lot of Sailors! But either they are single, girlfriend lives elsewhere, wife can't move with them, or the wife isn't hanging with the boys....And make things worse I work with all men too! I can't seem to catch a break. I've met some nice Submarine's wives through chit-chat at work. However, their men already have boats and are finished with school so once they figure out my Hubby is still studying they leave it at that and leave. I've never been a social butterfly, been shy most of my life until I met my Husband who broke through my barriers and helped me interact better with people. But I don't have any friends here at all. I work maybe one, two days a week then sit at the house waiting for him to come home. I don't want to tell him it's driving me insane but it is....Am I the only one that is having difficulty in finding a "home" in Groton and setting down roots? We are going to be here for another half a year at least and I want to make the most of it....

[MirrorMaiden88]

Yes, my phone stays glued to me at all times...just in case! This goes to show what a rookie I am with all of this, but how do I know what his rate is?

[MirrorMaiden88]

Yes, I agree a dictionary would be very helpful! His rate is SECF acoording to his paper from MEPS. Thank you so much for answering all these question for me! It helps me out so much.

[Annie]

My husband is graduating BESS this Friday but we still haven't receive his new orders yet.  I'm hoping that my son and I will be able to move there asap to be with him.  Another problem that we have is that I'm due to have my daughter at the end of April...I don't know how I'm gonna get ready for the move and care for a newborn and a 3yr old boy :( I would love to meet you because I have never live outside of MN so I'm extremely scared!  MN is all I know and I'm so used to family support and everything *sigh* now I have to start in a brand new place w/out any friends and family so I would love to meet and help each other out ;)

 

[Mitchell's Babygirl]

Oh everything is just happening at the same time for you, poor thing that must be so stressful! I was freaking out about the move and I didn't have any babies in the equation. I was in the same boat as far as never having left home more or less. I think if I had been able to go to one of the fleet and family wives classes it would have greatly improved my time here. Unfortunately, everyone I've talked to said the wait was several months by the time I was able to take it...I would definitely suggest signing up for that as soon as you get here. Since it's also a school base I'm sure a lot of the new wives in the class will be student wives and will help you a lot as (most not all, I've only met one who befriended me) the wives who already have Husbands on Boats won't willingly speak to you once they find out you are a students wife. The Husband and Wife we made friends with, that had been assigned to a Boat long before we got here, said the Navy wives would avoid student wives because they know they won't be there long and don't want to make friends with someone who will be leaving in a little over half a year. It's stupid and cruel in my mind and made my time here even worse...

 

In the time I've been here I've gone through some tough times. My Grandma, who I was very close with, passed away on Thanksgiving. I have later discovered that her passing was an emotional trigger for me and sent me into a deep depression. I also got laid off from my job in January. And my baby cousin, soon to be sister, had several serious medical emergencies and surgeries. I've since gotten my depression under control, thank God!, and am going to therapy for PTSD from sexual abuse I experienced when I was little and have discovered is the underlying cause of my depression.

 

While I would love to meet you and like you said help each other, my Husband is graduating mid April and we will be moving possibly before you arrive :(  The nice thing that will be great since you have both hands full with a 3yr old and the pregnancy, is that the movers should more then likely pack your things for you and will make it much easier on you. It took 3 months after graduation BESS for my Husband to finally get his orders. Because our lease had already ran out and I was considered homeless according to the Navy, I was living with his parents  but they didn't count that as having a home, he was able to move me early. We drove my car, stuffed with our cat and dog and all the things we could fit and not live without, all the way from Nevada to Connecticut. Homesickness gets easier with time and you will be very busy with both babies so that'll help.

 

MirrorMaiden88: Sorry it took so long for me to get back to you...We were told I would be able to move to CT because my Husband would be in class longer the 6 months. However, because it was at the end of the physical(sp?) year the Navy was low on funds and it was taken a long time for even the guys who had graduated to get orders to go to Boats. It took my Husband about 2 months (late July to September) jumping through hoops and talking to different Chiefs and offices in order to get approval to move me early before his orders came in. It was a complicated process and very stressful as I hadn't renewed our lease because someone had told him I would be moved earlier then it turned out I actually was. I put our household stuff in storage and moved in with my in-laws. It wasn't a great experience but worth it so I could be with him again finally. 

 

[Annie]

Wow....I shouldn't be complaining.  You've been through a lot more than I have but I do know how it feels to lose someone so close to you.  I lost my dad 2 months after my wedding due to cancer.  Also, about 6 months after his death, I got laid off as well.  I took me a while to get another job.  I had to give up the good pay and benefits to accept the job that I have right now because of the economy.  Thanks so much for your advice on the classes and meeting other sub wives.  Yea! Things are still up in the air for us right now.  I'd love to have my husband come home for the birth and also be there when we move but we don't think that they will allow him to do that.  We're thinking about driving our minivan to Groton, CT to save money too because the airfare is so expensive.  That's too bad that we won't be able to meet but good for you guys!  Your husband will be done soon.  Do you know where are you guys going yet?  We're hoping to get Kings Bay, GA because of the warm weather ;)

[Mitchell's Babygirl]

Yeah it's been a long year and a hal...I'm sorry for your loss....That's basically what happened to me too. They closed down our branch and said either get demoted and loose pay or get a severance check and leave. I worked with all guys who saw woman as idiots good for cleaning, babies, and sex appeal solely so I was pretty happy to leave and get paid for it. They were total a*!holes.

 

My Husband had to use part of his leave to fly home and drive with me to CT. I'm not sure if it was a special circumstance or what but I didn't mind, hehe. I've never driven longer then two hours by myself, I would have been terrified! If you have pets Motel 8 is about $55-$60 and doesn't charge for pets. If we had stayed at the Navy Lodge we would have had to pay an extra $100 each night for our animals and it wasn't refundable.

 

Yeah sorry, I would really have liked too...but who knows, I'm sure we will run into each other on one of these State hops lol. Where we are going is kinda confused right now. My Husband got his port pick, which also happens to be Kings Bay, GA,  but they messed up his orders. The Boat he is assigned too is in dry dock currently for the next year or so in Portsmouth, VA. His orders say he has to go there first when they are apparently supposed to say go to Kings Bay first and finish C school then go to Portsmouth...Uggghhh, just once I would like his orders to come on time and be correct! lol each time it's been like this. So he is trying to sort it out. They might put him on hold here in CT until it's sorted or just send him to Portsmouth and then send him to Kings Bay shortly after, I don't know for sure. Either way it looks like I'll be moving to Portsmouth for about two years then to Kings Bay for the other two. We were really looking forward to getting to wear shorts all the time :) oh well

[MamaMiri (FT)]

I am just curious about something you mentioned earlier... You said you were able to move to Groton early because you were "homeless" (no lease) and lived with your in-laws? I am also "homeless" right now- didn't sign a new lease because hubby was leaving for bootcamp (we couldn't afford a new lease anyway, he got laid off a month before he left because he "was leaving anyway" ugh) and our son and I moved in with my parents when he left. We thought I would be able to join him when he finished bootcamp but obviously found out otherwise. So now I've been with my parents for over 3 months now and I just want to be back on my own with my own bleeping kitchen!! I LOVE my parents but this is the first time I've been back under their roof since leaving for college and I very much prefer being mistress of my own home. Hubby has a month left in BESS and I know he would have to stay in the barracks until the end, but I'm wondering if there might be a way I can get out there and into housing ASAP. I can handle the separation from him (don't like it but I can handle it) but not running my own home is absolutely driving me up a wall!

[Mitchell's Babygirl]

I don't know if you will be able to move here until after he finishes BESS, for some stupid reason they can't have dependents here, even if they stay in the barracks, until after that class is finished. Now I became "homeless" after BESS and we were waiting on his orders so I would have him talk to his command people and see if there is an exception to this rule do the situation you are in. Now he does have to be in school for at least 6mn for them to move you. My Husband said what he would need to get is called a pipeline letter (he just walked in the door as I was typing lol) and that you would probably be allowed to move while he is still in BESS due to extenuating circumstances.

 

I completely understand the whole rule your own roost now. I'd only been out of the house for 2 yrs and even then still managed to have roomates and my husband. I loved my in laws but I like having my own place lol.

[MamaMiri (FT)]

Thank you!! I'm passing the info on to my husband. I know it's a super long shot but at this point I'll explore every avenue, you know? I really appreciate you checking with your husband on this! :)

[Annie]

Have your husband to talk to the Housing office.  They're very helpful.  They looked at my husband's orders and told him to get a few things change on his orders in order for my son and I to move there and have the Navy pay for it but because of the budget issue right now, we're not sure when they will let us know.  I'm hoping to be there by June ;)

 

[MamaMiri (FT)]

Thanks- I will let him know! Where is your husband at in school? Mine doesn't have orders yet although they should be coming through any time now. He tried to check on NKO tonight but for some reason the website was giving him trouble. Obviously having orders would make this whole thing much simpler!

[Mitchell's Babygirl]

MamaMiri (FT/BESS) You are welcome, happy I could try to help :) I've been in that boat in a way so I understand.

 

New SR. Wife(ship12,div36)

I hope everything works out for you and you and your family can be together again.