Comment

Comment by Steph_Proud navy wife & momma =) on August 11, 2010 at 9:44pm

Yes, it will be nice to see them! I haven't met my two youngest sisters yet. One was born in 08 and the other was born two weeks ago! So I will be very excited about being able to hold them=) I am definitely syked about the cross country trip. I'm not super nervous, but there are some butterflies in my tummy! lol. Thank you.

Comment by Steph_Proud navy wife & momma =) on August 11, 2010 at 10:21am

Thank you Katy. If I have any questions I will definitely keep you in mind=)

Ps, Headoverheels, my husband is still in Great Lakes,IL. He isn't suppose to report to San Diego until Sept.1st. I go to pick him up in five days!!! I am so excited to see him. I think he said that he wants to stay here in IN. for a couple days to say good bye to his family. We have the apartment for the rest of this month. Then we are driving to Iowa to see my dad and my little sisters for a night and starting out trip to Cali the next day.

Comment by BunkerQB on August 10, 2010 at 5:47pm

Proud Navy Wife, when? where in FL. We'll search our "friend" files and give you some moms to be able to contact.
Steph, hang in there. We'll be here for you.

Comment by Steph_Proud navy wife & momma =) on August 10, 2010 at 1:29pm

Well, thank you all for your advice. =)

Comment by Proud Navy Wife on August 9, 2010 at 5:18pm

My hubby just got orders today..... we are moving to FL... anyone know anything about FL???? lol

Comment by Steph_Proud navy wife & momma =) on August 9, 2010 at 7:47am

Thank you both for your advice. I am definitely looking at all the options. And I understand that they are looking out for my best interest from their own experience. The only reason I spoke to his CO was because my husband said that he wanted to speak with me. He called me yesterday and explained why he said those things to Andrew and that he just wants me to understand what I am getting into. He said he made the comment to my husband that "unspoken mouths go unfed" and he said that that comment was referring to me and that he wants me to call him if I have any questions. I know that calling PO and CO myself is not my duty lol. But for this circumstance, he wanted me to contact him to make sure we were on the same boat.

My husband and I have discussed everything and I know that I will feel a lot more comfortable living there with others who are going through the same thing as me. I also want to have access to the classes and programs that they offer. There is no doubt about it, I want to be there waiting for my husband when his ship arrives after eight or nine months(or however long they decide).

Again, thank you for your advice and support. You are all making me feel better about this all. I have also spoke with my Ombudsman and she agrees that if I have gone this long without my husband, I can go without him on deployment while up there. It will be a new place, and a challenge at first, but I like challenging myself. =)

As for the grandmother, she has already made her opinion for my husband to take our daughter and leave me. So I already know where I stand with her. Which hurts because my mom isn't there for me much, and she was the closest thing, until my husband told me what she was saying about me behind my back. Her exact words were that "I know Stephanie will get a wild hair up her a** and take your daughter and leave you." So I have to remove myself from that situation because I have tried to work things out with her and she just tells me shes done with my drama. All I am doing is taking care of my family. ?

Anyway, All I am worrying about is my husband and my daughter. I will do everything in my power to make my husbands month before deployment less stressful as possible. His CO told me he is going to grant him special liberty to spend as much time with me as possible before his first deployment. He said he will do what he can to help us out. So I do feel like we're definitely on the right path.

PS, thank you BunkerBee, I LOVE the poem too=) Reading that sort of stuff calms me down and makes me feel so peaceful. I love poems.

Comment by BunkerQB on August 9, 2010 at 12:43am

It is a benefit to have grandparents near by to help with child care. There is no denying that. When my brother-in-law left to war in Korea in 1953 (he is much older than my husband), his wife went to live with his step mother and grandmother - neither of whom thought she was good enough for him. She was pregnant with their first child. A couple of questions:
1) Do you know if you will be able to get base housing? If yes, no worries.
2) If no, then you have to make friends with some people quickly on here. I know abbyblue's son and dil live in Chula Vista. RightThereReady is further north.
3) I would not want you to be in an apt w/o no one else in the Navy. Three groups who may have members in SD.
http://www.navyformoms.com/group/sandiegomomssos
http://www.navyformoms.com/group/sailorsstationedincali
We help you with the research.
4) Invite you mother in law to come out and visit and see your daughter. I am now speaking from "if I were the mother of the son, what would I want to hear" stance.

BTW, love your poem.

Comment by Steph_Proud navy wife & momma =) on August 9, 2010 at 12:02am

Thank you for the advice BunkerBee. I spoke to the CO and I told him exactly how I felt about moving and that I knew me moving there would benefit me more than staying here. I assured him that I know what I am getting myself into. I also told him that I want to be there for my husband and that spending a month with him is better than none at all. I did mention that I have a great support system on N4M and that I feel 100% confident of moving there with my husband. He understood everything I said and agreed that if I think it won't hurt me in any way then I should do it. Apparently my mother in law got a hold of my husbands sponsor and told them she wanted them to know that I was not capable of handling things there. The only reason I know this is because the CO asked me to do him a favor and call to ease my mother in laws stress. That she is the one who brought this to there attention. I tried talking to her, but she kept telling me that Andrew is her son and that they talk about things before anything is agreed on. Shortly after I told her that "I" am married to her son and that I am his wife, that him and I talk before things are done, she said whatever and hung up on me. Her husband called Andrew and left a voicemail saying that I am trying to turn him against her. This is way too much stress and she is making me look like a selfish crazy person lol. So I had to take myself out of the situation. I am worrying about my daughter, husband and myself. She told me that the military wives wont be there for me and that I would be better off her.

Comment by BunkerQB on August 8, 2010 at 3:09pm

1) You might want to assure the CO that you have made friends through N4M in California and will widen your circle of friends in the San Diego area as soon as it is confirmed that you are going to San Diego.
2) I had asked if staying in TN means you won't see him at all. If that is the case, then you should tell the CO that 4 months out of the year is better than zero.
3) Perhaps the CO is afraid that you might find the SD environment too exciting (if you know what I mean) and he wants you to be around family, thinking it would be better for your relationship. Assure him that being together for a long time is important to you (tell him you started a group on N4M just to be with other young women who want to support each other in keeping their relationships strong. That you are not looking to move to SD to just have a good time.
3) Tell the CO that you believe things would be better for you in SD but if there are specific reasons that it is better for you to be in TN, you would like him to share them with you (since you are still new with being a Navy wife) and if the reasons make sense for his future and your relationship, then you are supportive of whatever decision has to be made.
4) Remember the CO is a guy, they think differently. In a very non confrontational manner, ask him what he thinks HIS wife would do.
5) Be sure to thank HIM for his suggestions and that you (all three of you) are on the same team (do what is best for your husband and the Navy).

I have never been a military wife - the above recommendations are "I-have-been-around-advice" from someone older enough to be your grandmother.
Wyette and AprilV, you have been around for a little longer - what do you think?

Quiltlady is gone but she will have good advice also since she has been a wife of an enlisted and the later on wife of an officer. I will contact Katy and ask her to come in (she probably hasn't check this group in awhile) - her husband is a Lt Com.

Comment by Steph_Proud navy wife & momma =) on August 8, 2010 at 2:23pm

Hi SMSantens, if you have any questions, this is a great group to come to. The women here are great. This is the first support group I have ever had and everyone here is wonderful. So far every piece of advice I have received, has made me feel at ease=) welcome.

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• …
• 9
• Next ›
• Page