This site is for mothers of kids in the U.S. Navy and for Moms who have questions about Navy life for their kids.



Choose your Username.  For the privacy and safety of you and/or your sailor, NO LAST NAMES ARE ALLOWED, even if your last name differs from that of your sailor (please make sure your URL address does not include your last name either).  Also, please do not include your email address in your user name. Go to "Settings" above to set your Username.  While there, complete your Profile so you can post and share photos and videos of your Sailor and share stories with other moms!

Make sure to read our Community Guidelines and this Navy Operations Security (OPSEC) checklist - loose lips sink ships!

Join groups!  Browse for groups for your PIR date, your sailor's occupational specialty, "A" school, assigned ship, homeport city, your own city or state, and a myriad of other interests. Jump in and introduce yourself!  Start making friends that can last a lifetime.

Link to Navy Speak - Navy Terms & Acronyms: Navy Speak

All Hands Magazine's full length documentary "Making a Sailor": This video follows four recruits through Boot Camp in the spring of 2018 who were assigned to DIV 229, an integrated division, which had PIR on 05/25/2018. 

Boot Camp: Making a Sailor (Full Length Documentary - 2018)

Boot Camp: Behind the Scenes at RTC

...and visit - America's Navy and also Navy Live - The Official Blog of the Navy to learn more.

OPSEC - Navy Operations Security

Always keep Navy Operations Security in mind.  In the Navy, it's essential to remember that "loose lips sink ships."  OPSEC is everyone's responsibility. 

DON'T post critical information including future destinations or ports of call; future operations, exercises or missions; deployment or homecoming dates.  

DO be smart, use your head, always think OPSEC when using texts, email, phone, and social media, and watch this video: "Importance of Navy OPSEC."

Follow this link for OPSEC Guidelines:



**UPDATE 4/26/2022** Effective with the May 6, 2022 PIR 4 guests will be allowed.  Still must be fully vaccinated to attend.

**UPDATE as of 11/10/2022 PIR vaccination is no longer required.

**UPDATE 7/29/2021** You now must be fully vaccinated in order to attend PIR:

In light of observed changes and impact of the Coronavirus Delta Variant and out of an abundance of caution for our recruits, Sailors, staff, and guests, Recruit Training Command is restricting Pass-in-Review (recruit graduation) to ONLY fully immunized guests (14-days post final COVID vaccination dose).  


RTC Graduation

**UPDATE 8/25/2022 - MASK MANDATE IS LIFTED.  Vaccinations still required.

**UPDATE 11/10/22 PIR - Vaccinations no longer required.


Please note! Changes to this guide happened in October 2017. Tickets are now issued for all guests, and all guests must have a ticket to enter base. A separate parking pass is no longer needed to drive on to base for parking.

Please see changes to attending PIR in the PAGES column. The PAGES are located under the member icons on the right side.

Format Downloads:

Navy Speak

Click here to learn common Navy terms and acronyms!  (Hint:  When you can speak an entire sentence using only acronyms and one verb, you're truly a Navy mom.)

N4M Merchandise

Shirts, caps, mugs and more can be found at CafePress.

Please note: Profits generated in the production of this merchandise are not being awarded to the Navy or any of its suppliers. Any profit made is retained by CafePress. Para Familias

Visite esta página para explorar en su idioma las oportunidades de educación y carreras para sus hijos en el Navy.



Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors


Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors

Hello my name is Keisha and i am the creator of this group. Thanks for joining and i hope that all the advice this group gives is helpful

Please, if you no longer want to be a part of N4M's consider NOT deleting your profile as everything you have ever posted will disappear when you delete it .  You can leave a group but don't permanently delete your profile!

Location: From Atlanta, GA all the way to Cali-forn-i-a now in Washington State
Members: 3875
Latest Activity: Feb 3

I'm a Navy Wife and I created this group back when I was a girlfriend and my now husband had gone to bootcamp. Its funny because i joined this website when they had under 50 members. This website has been sooooo helpful and I met so many people on here that gave great advice. I made this group so that we could all come together and give eachother advice and share ideas. I see that this group is growing more and more by the day, Im happy to see that because so many wives/fiances/and girlfriends are clueless when it comes the military lifestyle. Not knowing what to expect and not knowing about deployments, bootcamp, duty stations, etc. I want this to be the place you all recommend because so many people on this site are knowledgeable and very helpful. Once again thanks for joining my group and i hope you get all the information you need. I dont get to log on as much as i used to but i try my best to get on here. So if u have any questions feel free to make a discussion topic and Im positive that it will get answered if not, inbox me :-) Take Care ♥

Discussion Forum

Help needed!!

Started by Nia. Last reply by Nia Sep 7, 2022. 4 Replies

Hi everyone! My name is Nia, I’m new here. I just have a question that have been giving me anxiety lately. So my boyfriend has been emailing me every morning and sometimes night overseas, and then suddenly the flow has stopped out of no where. I’ve…Continue


Started by Mykenzie Apr 1, 2022. 0 Replies

Hi ladies!I just would love some advice on this current topic my significant other and i are having currently. without saying too much he’s enlisted in the navy and i am currently a university student. his work peers really value his work and his…Continue

Graduation coming up

Started by Kelly Jan 9, 2022. 0 Replies

Hi,Im new here and I am glad that I found a group that share my confusion during new path of couple life. My boyfriend is due to graduate on the 28th and I am so sad I can't make it to see him. Mainly cause he only had two invites and family comes…Continue

Hubby shipping off to BC June 24!

Started by TARA. Last reply by Kaylee Sep 29, 2020. 1 Reply

Hi Everyone,I am new to this group and would like to say how thankful I am for finding a community of Navy wives, fiancés and girlfriends who can lend support to each other.  A short background of our Navy journey - my guy wanted to sign up as EM…Continue

New here!

Started by Linda Jane. Last reply by Kaylee Sep 29, 2020. 4 Replies

Hi. I just joined last night. I wanted to introduce myself. I’m linda. My boyfriend is in Great Lakes now for basic training ship 02 Div 950. Then after graduation he immediately ships off to A school in SC. This is all extremely new to me and his…Continue

Fiancé Advice

Started by Lauren C. Last reply by astc Sep 26, 2019. 5 Replies

My fiance just joined the Navy and was sent off to bootcamp this week. We've been together for almost six years and we plan to get married after bootcamp is over.> I was hoping you could tell me if waiting until bootcamp is over was the smart…Continue

Good neighborhoods around Great Lakes IL??

Started by Artfulmind. Last reply by WCK110658 Jul 9, 2019. 3 Replies

Hi everyone! Hubs, baby, and I will be stationed in Great Lakes soon was wondering if anyone new of some good safe family friendly neighborhoods to rent a place? We don't mind being a half hour or so away from base. Heard the surrounding…Continue

Tags: moving, chicago, illinois, Lakes, Great

Hello Everyone!

Started by mommasett. Last reply by Anti M Mar 27, 2019. 1 Reply

Happy Hump day to all!! I am new here and I am so glad that I have found this group! I am hoping it helps in my journey with my boyfriend and understanding his Navy Life a little better. Continue

POA to get a military i.d.

Started by Hafaadai. Last reply by Ib_vv_N Feb 23, 2019. 7 Replies

Hi! My SR left for BC on 28th of Nov. I received THE BOX on Dec. 6th. Still waiting on his form letter, personal letter and DEERS. He did not leave me a POA before he left because the recruiter said we won’t really need it until he gets out of BC.…Continue

sending photos

Started by lifesimplified Feb 20, 2019. 0 Replies

My boyfriend shipped out on 2/11/19.  I just received his box but no form letter yet.  As soon as I get his address, I will be writing him daily and sending many photos.  I read somewhere on this forum that the recruits must show all photos to the…Continue

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors to add comments!

Comment by Anti M on December 29, 2019 at 1:59pm

He definitely cannot live in the barracks if he begins to pull BAH. Even if you do not move there, they will make him move out once they catch on.  Only during boot camp, A school, and sometimes when they are at isolated duty stations where dependents do not go do they get to double dip on BAH and a free barracks room.  Now that he is at his new duty station, that all will change.

Of you read up on BAH, it is based on average rentals near the duty station.  It is not intended to cover a mortgage.  Honestly, we didn't consider using our VA loan until my husband retired, because we were flexible on where we would end up.  You cannot use your VA eligibility to buy a home to rent out, and it is worth hanging onto until you are truly ready.
As a homeowner, I know there's much more to a house that just that mortgage payment.  It's crazy how expensive it can be.  Property usually appreciates, but not if you get stuck with paying for a home you cannot use, or get bad renters, or it sits empty.  

I would suggest a LOT of research before making that decision.

Comment by Kristy on December 29, 2019 at 12:07am

I think you should rent a place there first, and see how is the housing market in the area before you decide on any big decision 

Comment by Jarj on December 28, 2019 at 10:56pm

Hi Allison, 

Thank you for taking time to respond. 

We are new military couple and are hoping to be first time home buyers so we really do not have any idea on what is about to happen. We are so excited and overwhelmed. 

(at this point...I don't know what else to type) It's just a lot to think about in so little time since my husband might get deployed anytime soon.

Comment by Allison on December 28, 2019 at 2:32pm

Also, if you go with any other financing and think you may want to rent out the property, make sure you take a look at landlord tenant laws and stuff in your state. You may find it’s not worth the trouble at this point in your lives, but if you were to (or have to in some states) hire a property manager, you need to weigh out whether the rental value of your property is enough to cover the mortgage, mortgage insurance, insurance, HOA (if applicable), property tax (if applicable), maintenance, paying the property manager, etc. 

Comment by Allison on December 28, 2019 at 2:27pm

Ugh. I wrote out this whole organized thing for you, and then my phone glitched and deleted it. Anyway, long story short, I personally would not recommend buying a house right now, but I don’t know everything about your financial situation. Consider speaking with a mortgage broker that is not directly affiliated with a bank. If you find a loan with them, you have to pay them, but it’s SO worth their help. I can also give you more information if you like about my thoughts, but I was worried I was making it sound terrible and impossible, which it’s not at all haha. So I’ll leave it out unless you ask for more.

One important thing I want to mention though is that if you’re going to use the VA backed loan, you cannot rent out that property unless you also live there. The VA will only back financing for your primary residence. Also, depending on your state, it may impact how you file taxes to own property there. Virginia I know is one of them because my husband was a resident there before he got out and we moved to my home state, and I’m so glad we never bought any property there. 

Comment by Jarj on December 27, 2019 at 3:52pm

@ Kristy, Thank you for your comment. My husband just graduated too. PIR 11/08. 

Comment by Kristy on December 27, 2019 at 2:15pm

I’m thinking the thing as you too. We r also married and have 1 kid. But, as my research i don’t think he can stay in barracks for long time since he is getting his BAH. Also, i heard ppl say that housing in VA isn’t cheap. It will be more than whatever u rent. But, i still like the idea of investment into a house. 

Sorry, my husband just graduated and i don’t have any  advice for u. 

Comment by Jarj on December 27, 2019 at 12:03pm

Hello fellow Navy Wives, 

I need your advice!

My husband just got stationed in VA a week from today already. He is staying in barracks. I didn't move with him to VA because we wanted to get a house already. 

We wanted to get a house already because we wanted to invest early while we can. (Thinking that properties could appreciate in value in the next years to come). And as much as possible we wanted to maximize the use of BAH by using it to pay mortgage. 

With that, we may have a house but there might be less time he'd be able to go home because he still have to travel (from his duty station).

Another option is we buy a house, and if we plan to be together where he is stationed at, then we will rent out the house. 

Anyone, please advice or share any pros and cons. 

Thank you. 

Comment by Michael on December 8, 2019 at 12:52am

Ummmm if he has you and your child on his page 2 living where you are living then no he can not use the BHA. The BHA is for the spouse and child
NOT him as if he was not married he would
Not be getting it. Second he can live on the barge free of charge my husband did before we moved out to Norfolk. So he is lying to you. His mother or any family member is NOT allowed to use his BHA it is only used for who ever is on his page two. Spouse and children unless a parent is listed that has severe medical Issues and you are taking care of them. If he is BSing you now you better nip that in the bit now. In the navy they look out for families if you have issues just contact his command or go to a navy base and speek with someone in deers and such
Comment by Paige on December 8, 2019 at 12:02am

Hi you all, I have a quick question.

My husband just got orders to be on a ship that is in the ship yards and he has an option to live on the barge but he doesn't want to.

He said that if he stays on the barge, the BAH will be taken. I live in another state with our child, and I use the BAH to support us and I'm under the impression that BAH is for spouse and dependents.

My husband thinks he can use BAH to qualify him and his mother and sibling who are not legal dependents for an apartment. 

Can he use the BAH plus his base pay to get an apartment? & will BAH be taken away if he stays on the barge?

Thank you


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