What's an Ombudsman and FRG and how to contact them

wow some not so good spelling down below. sorry about that,its early here in washington. :D

Suzann,
Thier email is HST_OMB_2@HSTRUMAN.NET The carriers always have more than one ombudsman, so they will varify your sailor and put you with the right ombudsman. this is the commands website http://www.truman.navy.mil/index.html

Your welcome, and yes we totally understand that!

Meg and Kris,
Here is the OMBUDSMANS information that you are seeking
ombudsman@lsd43.navy.mil

Also here is the offical website address:http://www.fort-mchenry.navy.mil/default.aspx

Click on the welcome aboard link and it will give you the above information that you will need!

Kris,
You are most welcome. I am in the WA area!

Let me see what else I can come up with.

Kris,
I found a different one on their website, try this, if this doesn't work, I will email the ship directly for you.

FTM43ombuds@lsd43.navy.mil

Kris,
I have emailed that ombudsmans address and also the Command Master Chief of the ship. That way we can get the correct information to you.

Kris,
that email address for the ombudsman has come back. but the Master Chiefs didn't, so lets see what comes of that! I'll keep ya posted.

I just noticed one of the problems, I think, is that she has a .navy.mil email address.hmmmmm, let me see what else I can find.

Ok Kris, I have a name and a number for you!
Her name is Amanda and her number is 757-647-2560

Your welcome and I hope you are able to get ahold of her! :D

Hi ladies,
I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday weekend as we remember those who have served in the past.

My son is getting ready to graduate C school and next month will be going overseas. I am having trouble finding out any info on his command and am wondering if his sponsor is going to give him the name of the Ombudsman for his station. Because of his job as IS and the location where he will be stationed, I would feel much more at ease knowing there is someone I can contact if the need ever arises.

Also, when he left for GL I understood that if there was an emergency, I need to contact the Red Cross and they would make sure he is contacted. In an emergency, do I contact the Ombudsman for his command or the Red Cross?

Thank you for all the support you give to families and especially to us moms.

Mary

Rebecca... thank you for your awesome support, compassion, energy and most all of all can do attitude! I am so comforted knowing that there are support people as yourself should any of us ever need it!

Mary,
Your sons sponsor should give him the Ombudsman information. In case of an emergency, the quickest way to get a message to your son is through the Ombudsman and the Red Cross. You can call both and they will both make sure that a message is given to the command and your son. The Red Cross will send an offical message (in case of death, illness, etc....) to the ship and this helps the command determine whether or not Emergency leave is warranted.
Once you find out what command your son is with and you haven't found out who the Ombudsman is, we can help you get that information.

Susan,

You are very welcome and its my honor to help my fellow navy families.

Rebecca,
Thank you so very much for your quick response, and answers. I will tell him to be sure to find out for me when he arrives. (Not that it is the kind of thing he puts at the top of his list). I'm sure he will be more interested in where he can go get food and drinkable water. :) Thanks again to all of you.
Mary

Sandy,
An Ombudsman is a liason between the command, whether it be shore or ship, for the families and sailors there. We are a resource of information, to help our families and sailors. Every command should have a Ombudsman, but its not always the case, but a good majority have them. Your sailor is told who their Ombudsman is, because the Navy wants to make sure that the families have someone they can call for emergencies and non emergenices. If your sailor doesn't know who is Ombudsman is, he can ask his command, if a family memeber is trying to seek that information, you can go and ask here or ask the Fleet and Family Service Center of that base. An Ombudsman is available 24/7 for emergencies via phone or email. A lot of us will have set hours for non emergent phone calls, but otherwise we are available 24/7.

I just want to say I think it's great what your doing..I wished I had joined when my son was starting off..3 years ago..But this is a awesome web site..And I am a proud member now..My Ombudsman..Helped me alot..Still get emails..And he's deployed..So once again Thanks...

Meg: Thank you for a great group. You have given out so much valuable information. I'd like to add my two cents about what my experiences have been with my Sailor and with this site. I joined N4M when there was about 100 members. Out of that small group my son was the first to finish his schools and report to his first duty station (Norfolk) for 3 weeks before flying via military transport to the Persian Gulf to catch up with his ship. Keep in mind we didn't have the huge support system on this site yet. The first thing I did was find my son's ship website and email the webmaster with my personal info and request a login and password. Once that was completed, I found the ombudsman and FRG president's email address and asked to be added to their email lists. No problems there either. My son's ship website has no current information on it (last update was 2006 b/c some Navy wives used profanity and the CO gave the order that all future all communication would be from the CO, XO & CMC to the ombudsman who in turn would send out a monthly newsletter while the ship is deployed. So far I'm a happy camper.
Then I start the "Destroyer Moms" group; the "USS Ramage" group and join the Norfolk Family & Friends group. The most often question asked in those groups is "how do I contact my son". I have spent hours and hours surfing the web for information to pass along to Navy Moms who don't know every ship has a website. Every ship has an ombudsman (which very few of the Sailors on that ship know who it is) and the FRG group sends out very intresting info. After helping a lot of Navy Moms connect with their ombudsman, etc. and tried referring Moms to this group. It hasn't worked as well as I had hoped so I started some discussions in my groups to answer those 'everyday' questions.
Do you have a "tried and true" method for locating ombudsman? Or is every command different (as I suspect)? I've checked out quite a few of the destroyer's ship websites and they are all different. Sometimes the webmaster doesn't even respond to the Moms request for a user name and password. I even wrote a "template" for moms to use in requsting info. What am I missing? Thanks for all you do and all your help.

On a side note: I read your postings about post deployment before my son's homecoming in April. It was so insightful! When Sailor son walked off that ship, I told him, whatever you want to do is fine with me. So he went to a restaurant with some of his shipmates (who would have thought?) and then came back to the hotel and just "chilled". I thank you again for posting such invaluable info! You are a blessing and a God send.

Melissa,
When the command does not have the current or correct information for the Ombudsman on their website, you can always contact the Fleet and Family Service Center on that base, for that Ombudsman. You just ask for the Ombudsman Corrdinator, and she/he will be able to that family in touch with the correct Ombudsman and FRG's.

Backbone of liberty; fighting to keep us free,
Sacrifice homeland safety; battles fought abroad.
First Veterans; founding fathers,
Gave to us our freedom’s liberty.

‘Twas not the preacher, campus organizer,
Who fought for religions free . . . free assembly.
Veterans fought for your assembly, worship free.

It was not the lawyer, politician,
Who gave your right to vote . . . trials fair.
Veterans fought for your voice, equal treatment.

Nor was it the poet, reporter,
That fought for free press . . . free speech.
Veterans fight for unbiased news, talk. . . fear free.

Saluting the flag under which he serves,
Veteran’s foundation sacrifice.
Freedom mortared by brave blood spilt . . .
Maintains our liberty rights.

Sandy,
Where is your sailor located at? Also, most ships have their ombudsmans information posted at the top of the POW= (Plan of the week.) You can either ask your son for that information or, if you know his command and base name, we can get you in the right direction of where to locate that information.

Good evening ladies,
First let me say thank you for sitting around on a holiday and monitoring this discussion, it's people like you who make our military work for us.
I have been to my son's first duty station's website and clicked on the Ombudsmen tab at the top. It takes me to a dead end. He verified last night that his orders are to report to CNFK. Will he need to set up an access for me once he is there?
I have so many questions, but he is doing his PO Indoc today and then preparing for his final, and graduation this week, I really hate to disturb him. I'm sure you understand that the events near there recently have given me a lot of concern. Thank you for any leads you may be able to give to me. I know once he gets to his command he will have so much to learn and do, he will not think to get info for Mom. Happy Holiday!
Big Navy Hugs,
Mary

Mary,
Once your son reports to his command, he will need to make sure that your information is given to the command Ombudsman. He then can send you her/his information. I also suggest that he put you on the FRG (Family Readyness Group) list as well. That way you will be well connect and always in the information loop.

Rebecca,
Thank you so very much. I will tell him, and hope that he does not make me fly all the way there, to strangle him if he keeps "forgetting" to do it. lol

Meg,
I don't have a list, but anything can be sent. Just depends on where they are going. If somewhere hot, I wouldn't send anything that melts! :D Looks like Suzann has a place where you can look.

jiamitos: is your son on a ship or shore command? If we have the command or ships name, we can locate an address for you.

Hi Meg, hope you are well - I don't stop by too often but it is always nice to know that you are here for us.

Came across this blog this morning and wondered if you could offer some advice:
http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topics/how-to-tell-my-three-year-old

I remember last year find a website that offered a story book for children about deployment. Do you know the link or which group makes it available? Thx! Mary

Mary,
Elmo made a video on deployments, you can go to www.militaryonesource.com and order it for free. Its a great visual aid for the kids. Also, the Navy has a program where the sailors can read books while being taped and send them back home to the kids, its United Through Reading, two great programs for the kids. The fleet and family service center has all kinds of information for our children.

Wonderful information ladies! I knew I had read something along time ago about children's programs/books. I'll be sharing this information with the moms with children. Thank you.

You can go to the ships website, or the fleet and family service center for that base. Has your son put you on the contact list for his ships Ombudsman? What ship is your son on?

Your not, and its a good thing for you to be on that list anyway! :D Cindy, here is the link to their offical website http://www.kauffman.navy.mil/default.aspx

Cindy,
Your welcome :D

Hi Ladies!
My son arrived in Seoul three weeks ago and no one seems to be able to tell him who his OMBUDSMAN is. I have been to the USFK website and tried to send an email to the address given but it did not send. Can he possibly go to the commanding officer's office and get the info? Right now the only way I have to contact him is to be online at 3 or 4 in the morning to talk to him on Skype (a wonderful program). That's ok until a time when I can't find him online for several days in a row and begin to panic. : 0 I can't know what he is doing, but I do like to know that he is ok. Can anyone provide me with suggestions?
Thanks,
Mary

Regina,
Thank you so much. I will try the link. He has asked his LPO and she does not know. I think with him being at an Army garrison there are a few breaks in the chain of command. Somethings are kept as separate branches and somethings are meshed together, ya know? It makes it a little more difficult to reach the top of one branch or the other but he does have contact with the Commander a couple of times a week so it should be alright. I will try the link first though.

Again, thank you and all the wonderful OMBUDSMANs and other volunteers. My son is going with a couple of sailor and some Army personnel this weekend to work with young Korean students learning to read English. He also love the volunteer work he will be afforded there.

Navy Hugs to All,
Mary

Hi Ruthella: I would not say that your head is in the sand - just that you have not needed the information. Our sailor has been in six years and until the grandparent's and my husband had health scares I knew nothing. So, we are in the same boat - woops. My understanding is that the ombudsman is the link between the family and the crew - for example they are the link that produces the news letters about the boats - they are the link that have events for the families. If you sailor is married they work directly with the spouse first - then the family. The ombudsman are volunteers. You can find out who is assigned by contacting the base fleet and family services. You can look up the information on line. Do you have that information? There is a lot to learn, an dit can be VERY confussing. Especially when you add a new vocabulary with it. This is a GREAT place to ask your questions. Everyone here is VERY helpful, and understanding. I was unsure of what exactly my questions were - the more I have learned the more questions I seem to have. Please let us know. My angel blessings ~s

Ah HAW! The lady with the answers! Regina - you are an awesome angel! Hey Karen, does that help?

Red Cross is also needed for the military member for leave purposes. It opens doors for the command to grant emergency leave, and also opens door for the Navy Relief Marine Corps Society to give out emergency loans or grants for the military member to use. That way if funds are readly available for the member, he can get home using that source. So that is why it's important for the Red Cross to send that AMCROSS message.

That should read "if fund are NOT readly available! Fingers are faster than the mind sometimes.

Jessica,
Due to OPSEC (operational security) that kind of information cannot be given out in an unsecure forum. What I can tell you is that you need to contact your OMBUDSMAN for you son sub. If you don't know who that is, we can help point you in the right direction on how to locat her. Subs are even more secure on dates and times than the surface ships. So please be patient, you will get the information that you need. Did your son put you on the list for the Ombudsman and the FRG to contact you? I hope this helps, I know its not the exact answer that you wanted. If you don't know who the OMBUDSMAN is, just give us the name of the sub and we can get the information to you on who she/he is. We can also give you the number to the fleet and family service center as well, who then will help aide you in your search.

Hunnyhare: I'm glad that you found your way here. I did not know about ombudsmanregisry.org. What great information! I've been praying and thinking about your heart. It may be that you can contact the local recruiter and they may be able to locate where your son is assigned. Just another option for you. ~s
P.S. It is hard to back away even when we know it is best. We have had MANY opportunities with 'my space' and making sure that we did out best not to be 'inteferring' but we are his family. You and your heart deserve peace of mind and peace to rest assured that all is okay. Sometimes we don't make good choices and it is hard to come back to say today is just that today. Yesterday is done - let's take what we have and be glad that we have that. Susposidly, our sailor get's very busy with 'life' and 'forgets' the rest of us. I remember when I was in my twenties and how easy that can be. If I can help - send me a pm~s

Chris'smom-Brandy, Yes his Ombudsman can help assist him in finding out what is delaying the medical waiver.
I am not really sure about the jobs that may or may not be available to the sailors, but I do know that a lot of rates are closed due to overmanning. Just have your sailor keep following up with medical and his chain of command. He has to stay proactive as I am sure he is doing. There is a process to a medical waver and sometimes they do take a bit of time.

Hello I'm new to this group. I was wondering are there anyone out there whose son or husband is with the USS Cheyenne. How do I go about getting in touch with the ombudsman from this sub. I tried different links and come up empty. If anyone can help that would be great. :)

Gloria,
Here is the number to the Fleet and Family Service Center. You can give them a call and they can get you the Ombudsman information for the USS Cheyenne.
Call us at the Fleet and Family Support Center (FFSC), Navy Region Hawaii at (808) 474-1999 (808) 474-1999 , Monday through Thursday 7:00 AM to 4:45 PM; Friday, 7:00 AM to 4:00 PM.

Thanks Rebecca & Hunyhare I was able to find some info. I sent an email and received a response. I should hear from the ombudsman of my sons sub in a few days. Thanks again for the help :)

Hey Marie and Regina: One of you wrote an awesome article about MIL's and DIL's -do you still have it? I'm sorry for forgetting who wrote it - but I would like to put a copy of it on the Sub Mom's group to share. Thanks, Susan

Okay, I'm getting a little better at this. Meg, created this group! Yea! Meg, I am looking for the article that you wrote around March 26th 09 about MIL's and DIL's for the Sub Mom's group. Can you help me to find it? I couldn't find you anywhere - and well I'm a dork!

Hey Regina - Wendy (Sub Mom's) found Meg's article. I want to copy here for everyone to read and share - it is a GREAT piece. Thank you for all of your help:

When your sailor returns from a deployment

My Name is Meg and I'm an old Navy spouse and military brat. During my time as a spouse, I've been an Ombudsman among many other rolls. My sailor and I have completed seven crusies together. Recently I was asked to address the issue of the emotional cycle of a Deployment for a Navy family and the best advice I could offer for those Navy Moms who might be struggling with new Daughter-in-laws or son-in-laws. To be fair I will invite my own mother-in-law to weigh in on this information. ( Yep, she's at Navy for Moms too!) I am sure she will have her own opinions about this issue. I want to be fair as possible. I'd also like to note that I am the Mom of three. So I understand the mom side as well.
Read the info below with an open mind and decide what is best for you and your family but please take to heart the advice I am offering is born out of years of experience. This information is offered with the best of thoughts for both Navy Mom and Navy spouse.

Just like in life, Change is constant in the Navy. Deployment is filled with Change.
Whether you are the Navy mom or the Navy spouse, If your sailor is on cruise right now you have been going through a real challenge. It is important to remember we all go through these challenges when our sailor is deployed.

1. Anticipation of the deployment: At first when we hear about the upcoming deployment we get nervous, scared, angry, and sad. At some point it starts to feel like an old band-aid that you need to pull off. You want to rip it off and get it over with. In reality you want the deployment to start so you can start counting the days down until your sailor comes home. This feelling causes confusion, you might feel guilty for wanting the deployment to just start. The truth of the matter is, we dont' like when our sailors are gone. This step includes both moms and spouses.

2. Separation: You might find yourself emotionally pulling away from your sailor. This is a surprise. During this portion of the deployment... specifically for the spouse, you might find yourself separating your lives. You realize you face taking care of both your lives without the most important person in your life with you. You want to kick the next person who says, " Well, you knew what he or she did when you got married." You might find this is when you sit down and have the great CRY. You might lose a bit of yourself when your sailor first leaves.
Personally, at the beginning of one of our deployments I flooded the second floor of our house the first night he was gone. I got to cry some more. I was definitely out of it.

3. Catching your second wind: You need to survive. You start trying to make a daily schedule for yourself. You find yourself looking for things in your life to help the time go by. Then you find things to do in life that you really enjoy. You might feel guilty thinking you don't really love your sailor. Don't worry you are still in love, right now you are taking care of the immediate needs and it's ok to put your needs on the list. Actually, this is one of the healthiest steps you can take during a cruise. It means you are still you and not just a spouse. You have your own life and every Navy spouse should have their OWN lives. It is important to include your in-laws in what you know. Provide your in-laws the Ombudsman contact and enroll their email in the command newsletter. You will be surprised how much your mother-in-law appreciates being included in news about her child/sailor.

For moms you may be a great source of help for your new inlaws. You have already gone through these steps when your son or daughter joined the Navy. You already started doing things for yourself when your kids moved out. You can help your inlaws and encourage them to take care of themselves. So call them once in awhile and just ask about them. This will also help to bring you two closer to one another as friends.

4. Reality hits again: Just as you find your stride in your daily life with the kids or your job or a new hobbie you took up while your sailor was gone, you realize you have past the mid point of the deployment and now you have to start thinking about your life changing again because your sailor is going to come home. This is a time you were certain you would never get too in the beginning and you would NEVER have believed how this might make you feel. You're excited about the homecoming but you're also nervous. You have been in charge and you feel pretty good about how you have managed to pick yourself up.

Well, things are going to be different when your sailor comes home. You certainly will explain life to him or her. Your Sailor may be the love of your life but the love of your life left you... it doesn't matter that your sailor had orders. Somewhere in the back of your mind you are still a bit ticked about that.
For you moms, you know the plan was always to raise productive citizens but you might recognize the feeling your in-laws are having. Think about the time when you realized your baby was a grown-up and perhaps she or he didn't need you at every waking moment. You might have been a bit ticked off too. I mean How dare that kid not need you? Does your sailor realize how long you were in labor with him or her?
All kidding aside, these mixed signals about homecoming are very normal

Now add that your sailor has a new spouse. Well, there are tons of books written about this subject but lets just say this is a HUGE change that both Navy Spouses and Navy Moms are dealing with everyday!

HOMECOMING
Spouses
So you get the information about the homecoming date and the first thing spouses start thinking about is making up for lost time. (sorry Moms but that is what we think about)
Spouses you start planning the perfect homecoming. You get the outfit ... you plan the meal... you get a hotel. In your perfect homecoming Dream... your mother-in-law is no wear in sight because and there is no nice way to say this but it would kill the moment. You are planning on private time. Woohoo! You are planning on all the special time you have missed. You need to know that you are still the most important person in your sailor's life and as the Lord as your witness... he or she is going to spend time with JUST you first. If you are newly married... this is all you can think about. You get yourself all set.

Mom
Moms have been waiting for much longer than the deployment. You had to say goodbye when your sailor left the house. You brought this kid into the world and you can't help it. You can't wait to see him or her. You have worried, your child may have been in harms way. You just want to touch them and see they are ok. You spent a huge portion of your life trying to get this kid to become an adult. He or she means everything to you. You won't stay long but you just really want to be there for this important day. After all you have never missed any of the special days in this kid's life. You are so proud! You have told all your friends and you got a great rate on airline tickets the moment you found out about the homecoming date. You'll call your new inlaw in a few days and TELL him or her you ARE going to be on the dock the day the ship pulls in. They haven't been married long... they can wait one more day. After all you might not be quite interested in being a grandparent just yet.

The Sailor's side
Tough as it is... these aren't the only two sides to this story. You see, you both forgot your sailor. Your sailor has been deployed where everyday the living quarters have been a challenge. They have been told what to do, when to do it, how to do it, and judged if they have not done it correctly. They have been responsible for lives and they have been under stresses we have not considered. On board ship, they have had very little privacy. They have not been able to get away from work. They have been lonely. Being the emotional basketcase is not the way to get ahead in the military so they have compartmentalized their emotions. They need to destress too. They may actually have a plan of their own! This thought seems to be a shocker for both Moms and Spouses. After all you both know exactly what he or she likes. If they have been on board the boat, they have not been driving. (This is just a side note and not from personal experience, but slowly give back the car keys.)

They may surprise you both, they may let you both down. They may want to do what they want to do. The last thing they need or want to do is to have you two at each other's throats. They don't want to come home to the two of you competing for his or her time. No matter what you THINK they might want this next bit of advice is so important.....


ASK first... both of you. Before your sailor comes home, ASK your sailor what he or she would like to do when they first get home. This also gives you all a chance to express your desires. Your sailor is going to need to remember your needs matter too and that goes for EVERYONE.

You will ALL be so much happier if you talk about what is expected and wanted.

New spouses, remember to include your inlaws.
Moms remember what it is to be a new spouse.

Both of you remember your sailor is a person too. They will be thrilled that someone asked them what they wanted rather than Ordering them to do something else. They have been doing that for the entire deployment.
IMPORTANT
When these situations are not handled right... feelings get hurt, young marriages struggle and no one is happy. The worst thing that can happen is that you can ruin Homecoming. You will all be left with bad memories and hurt feelings. You are Navy Moms and Navy Spouses. You support your Sailor and the last thing you want is to ruin what should be a happy time for all. So TALK to each other already and each of you make compromises. You will all be happier you did.

5. Reorganization of a marriage: Spouses This one is always a shocker... no matter how many cruises or deployments you might have done. After the homecoming, a week or two into the transition, something starts to seem different. That person you could NOT wait to see, starts to get alittle frustrating. If you waited on them hand and foot you may be wondering when you are going to get back to that life you created while he or she was gone. Things have changed and maybe your sailor has not noticed. How dare he or she not notice all you have accomplished? This is the moment when you need to sit down and have a talk. Talk to your sailor about the things you have changed. This will surprise you too but your sailor may be feeling the same way.

Your marriage has changed. You are now a veteran of a Navy Deployment and you have both changed. Renegotiate things in your life together. Talk about the differences and don't be afraid to address the changes. Talking about these changes helps to re-establish trush and everyday schedules. This is the easiest way to transition back into everyday life. Don't be shocked if you two end up in an arguement or two. It's normal, call your other Navy Spouse friends and ask them about this.

If you find you are both having huge issues go to Fleet and Family Support Center. They have counselors there who can provide free marriage counseling and they specialize in issues like this.

Moms: The only change you might need to acknowledge is that your child will always be your child but the rest of the world sees him or her as an adult and a Sailor in the United States Navy. Let them be the adult you raised them to be. You did a great job! Avoid trying to get in involved to fix things for them. They are grown ups and their job requires they act like adults. Rest assured, you did a good Job.

This last step of reorganizing a marriage takes the Navy family back to normal everyday life...whatever that is.


I hope this helps and sparks a healthy discussion between both spouses and Moms about what will be the best situation for their Navy family.

Earilier I mentioned my mother-in-law, I have to give her credit. She has never met my husband at the Dock or at the flightline during our marriage. She has respected the time we have needed to re-establish our marriage and then we head to her house. I have always appreciated her for this because homecomings are as challenging as the beginning of deployments. So thanks Pat for helping this Navy family work to the best of our ability.

Hi Jennifer - this was not my article - it is from Meg - she is one very awesome person in my book! I'm just very greatful that Wendy had it copied to share with everyone.