Drama soul, he should get a phone in Japan. its cheaper.. and My sailor said better. I did Tell my SIL about the Medals being held for my son. They have been his since he was 18, so they are not mine to make the decision over. However he would not want to tell her no.. Because she is reevaluating our relationship if she doesnt get it. I dont want her to do that to my so, so I will be the bad person in this scenario. I will spend Hubbys birthday with a friend, rather than SIL, will spend My birthday with my children and their significant others. Will spend Christmas with them in the AM, and that evening with friends. I have options, and I will take them.. not the same when my kids will be at SILs But I know I am doing the right thing.
We're behind you Maggs, and I'll wager the first family event that you miss, wither your SIL will, again, reevaluate your relationship and realize you are more important, or your kids will and be with you.
Sorry, me stalking again, I totally agree with ProudMom Maggs and you do what is right for you, the SIL will get over it, she will regret burying the medal and the history behind it, once it is in the ground, it is gone for everyone. Agree, wills are soooo important, saves the family from making these difficult decisions. Love you all, NMH!
bless you Maggs. Family issues are so tricky and messy. Sounds like you have a hold on it. Praying SIL gets her emotions under control and re-thinks her stand. We've had lots of such disagreements in our family, Hubby comes from 12 children, who gets what? what's fair? But I have to believe FIL did what he did because it was his wishes. Praying SIL sees this in neat future.
I love that all you ladies jumped in with Good advice and Loving support.
Maggs: sorry you have to go through the drama at all. My two cents is don't bury the medal. It is too precious to be buried and forgotten. Sounds like you are a strong and wise woman. Your SIL will come around soon or later. Probably later...
DramaSoul: Praying for your family and your auntie. I agree with you on the "wills" issue. I have been telling folks to get their wills in order to avoid the family drama. If it is down in writing, people can't accuse anyone of mishandling things. Also, we communicate with our son in Japan via Nucleus. It seems to work better than Sprint. Just a thought...
Chris: Please post pics. Happy you will be traveling to Japan soon too...
Been out of sorts with a head cold. Feeling better. Sending hugs and much love to all my Navy moms...
Purple Hearts are not to be buried. Get a new one off ebay and give it to the SIL, shell be none the wiser. I have my grandfather's PH from WWI in a nice shadowbox, and will give it to my nephew some day.
I've not been posting as my husband became very ill very quickly. They thought his shoulder pain was a pinched nerve, but no. That he had pneumonia, but no. Lung cancer. Just diagnosed three weeks ago, very rapid and aggressive advancement. He passed away yesterday morning. Everyone has been very kind. He will be cremated, then buried at sea by the Navy. And some of his ashes will go to Burning Man next year to go in the temple. We are not at all religious, so this is what he wanted, and what suits us both.
He was my life, my best friend, and my great love. The years will be so empty alone.
Oh Anti M....I am so very sorry for the loss of your Soulmate. May his memory be a blessing in your heart. So much loss. I just started to cry when I read your post.
On a different note...I had a lovely surprise last night. I had just gotten into bed to read and my cell phone rang. It was my Corpsman calling from Okinawa! I hadn’t spoken to him since he was on his way to deployment. He sounded good and to hear his laughter and humor really made me feel so much better. He had spoken to my awesome DIL a couple of days earlier (she had sent me text that she had heard from him) and wanted to catch up with me. It makes it easier for me having him so far away to hear about the mundane things and the not-so-mundane things. He and a couple of his buddies went to Nago to the aquarium over the weekend. They had pooled money and bought a beater car they can all use. He said it was quite comical with 5 not-so-small guys fitting into a compact vehicle. He is 6’1” and about 200 buff lbs so I can just imagine what that was like.
I just read the interesting story of the 4th Marine Regiment and why it is the steward of the Pacific. Anyone know any more information on this?
Thank you, ladies, for being the amazing people you are! Hugs to all of you.
Anti M so sorry to hear this. Its a club i dont want anyone to join!. Please take care of yourself.. Know that PJ days are OK, take things one day at a time. -I still have trouble with this one-. If you feel like crying, its OK. There is no time line. Dont make any fast decisions, dont let people make them for you. -I still have his tooth brush in its holder-. Accept counseling, find people to listen, dont worry about repeating your story. Cry when you feel like it. I have days where it still feels unreal. Tell everyone you need a year to make any decision, even minor ones, that way they wont be pushing you to do things you are not ready to do. If it takes less or longer, thats OK too. These next few month is going to be overwhelming with DMV, Social Security, Banks, Medical, etc. Any bills just in his name is not yours to pay. Most of all, among all this clutter, you will need time to mourn him. Again I send my deepest condolences.
AntiM, I am so sorry for your loss. I am speechless.
Maggs, I hope your SIL comes around. One day her great grandchildren will be studying the war and should feel proud. It should be a source of family pride and honor for future generations to see.
Thank you Maggs. His family is from out of state, and I couldn't deal with them, so they got to visit then leave. We didn't manage to have kids, and his son is half the country away, so while I have a good support system, no one is asking for anything. Almost no one, my one SIL doesn't have the sense not to ask to borrow the car (I don't drive). Gah. Yes, the dealing with stuff is draining. I did this for my father, so I know how to handle a good deal of it, but not SS. They sound like a pain in the ass. I am so glad we have cremation insurance, and one of the mortgages has life insurance and will be totally paid. The other one was supposed to, but someone made an error. Still, he has a couple good policies, and I will get Navy survivor benefits, plus my VA, so I will be okay. I strongly suggest everyone make sure you have adequate insurance. Nothing is guaranteed. Everyone thought my strong vital Larry would outlove me by a decade or more, but cancer took him in a matter of three weeks.
Hug your loved ones, be kind, never take ordinary moments for granted. And don't put off that trip or celebration. Take many pictures.
kim, SIL couldnt have children. She married a man with three, and has been a step parent to them. We inherited the things FIL wanted kept in the family. He also said, we were not to fight over his decisions.
kim, SIL couldnt have children. She married a man with three, and has been a step parent to them. We inherited the things FIL wanted kept in the family. He also said, we were not to fight over his decisions.
Anti M, I have no words. I'm SO Sorry. HUGS The Sea and Burning Man sounds like the Perfect Tribute. We are here if you need Anything.
Maggs, such Good advice Thanks for opening your heart and sharing.
DramaSoul, I'm doing the Happy Dance for you!!!! It does a Mama's heart good to hear their voice. Love the car story, I can imagine them trying to cram in there, just like High School. LOL
Anti M: so sorry to hear about the lost of your husband. Sending you hugs and condolences. Nothing I can write here can ease what you are going through. Perhaps you can rest in knowing he is no longer in pain and suffering. I'm glad he was your life, best friend, and great love. Some people never find what you both shared... truly special. Remember and cherish those memories. You are in my thoughts. (((HUGS)))
Gentle hugs AntiM. And thank you for the advice of being prepared.
One mom asked if you really know each other or just internet buddies. I hope you see that we are family. I would LOVE to actually hug my family here. And one day I WILL !! But until then - I can feel all the hugs and love through words. Hope you can too.
AntiM - when you are able - please share some great photos of you and hubby. I so enjoyed your trips - Burn - and photos of him in his kilts and bow tie in his beard. Just want the new Moms to see your love for each other.
Who said they had a head cold? It appears me too. Just great in time for Labor Day weekend.
Maggs- sounds like you made your decision. You rock gf!
need to split - have to get ready for meeting. hugs all
Anti M....thank you so much for sharing the pictures! So wonderful. It looks like you two had such fun. What amazing memories you have....
Hugs to you.
Maggs and Anti M...you are both in my heart. I was not blessed to have that kind of a partner in my life. It fills my heart with joy to know there are people who do.
Geez....this is the most I have posted in a long time!!
I was a Japan Mom back in the year the tsaumini hit. Is it really true what someone said back in 2015.. you are not allowed to leave. Well sometimes it happens when you are inactive for a time and your profile gets deleted. But I am back. My son has gone on to another post, well has gone on to many more posts since Japan. and I am back on N4M's. Hi Blondie
DramaSoul glad to see you more active. We LOVE gossip here.
Hi NitaSewBee, Glad you found your way back! I was kicked off one time and NOT because I wasn't active (LOL) but some update and my computer....It was tuff getting back on here. But SO glad I did. I miss these ladies. Where is your son now?
Blondie, my son is in Florida now. He's been in New Jersey, VA and now he's in Florida. While in New Jersey, he was "Recruiter of the Year" for the Northeast. He and his wife have 2 little girls..5 and almost 3. Amelia was born in New Jersey and Charlotte. was born while he was in VA.. I now have 6 grandbabies ranging from 15 yrs old down to 2 yrs old. The last 4 are a year apart.
Anti-M.. so very sorry for your loss. words can't begin to reach, however here is a cyber hug or 2 for you.
in my eyes and heart.. we are more than just internet buddies.. we are all family...Navy moms are joined at the heart.. when one person hurts, we all feel it... I remember when I was on N4M's before. When one of my fellow moms had a crisis in her state, I joined that group and lent my support to all the others. its what we do..
Nobody listens to me... I told the hubby , you have Friday nite off, but we cant go to the drive ins you have to work. .Saturday. morning early. he saids no, its Sunday. so what just happened? his boss called and asked him where he was, he was supposed to be somewhere at 7am. I told him that, but what do I know? oh well. I cleaned our closet last nite, found stuff I have been looking for like forever. Now that hubby is not home, I can perhaps finish room, clear off our bed, and tear it apart. Put mattress and box spring on floor.. or maybe not,maybe I will just sew today. oh yeah, now I have to call our youngest and ask him about brakes for the back... maybe I will do our bed, that way maybe he will not complain about having to sleep on the futon in the living room.he's going to complain no matter what. I am sorry about complaining about hubby, Especially after Anti M's loss. but its just frustrating to me. When he's home, he sits on his computer and hardly saids a word to me. But the minute he's headed somewhere, its call wifey on the phone and start talking to her. I'll be like.." hey this is stuff you should be telling me when you are home." But guess when he's home, his mind isn't in gear. ok rant is over. I do have sewing I could do....and my sewing room does need cleaning. Maybe in a few minutes.
Great pic! Hope they had a good day to climb. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Drama - about time you got back here. And you too NitaSewBee. Got tickled when I saw your two back. Hugs
AntiM - the pictures are wonderful. Hope you are doing better and able to navigate your new waters with some ease.
Here - I start my first sessions with cub scouts today. Teh little ones will be fine to be with - its the moody Scout Leaders that has me jumpy. Already - one has text me that they have to leave a session early. Its the first day!
LOVE the picture! Safe climbing to them. Start planning now for your trip :)
T-Lynn, We see the same thing here, no wonder the kids/young adults are the way they are, look at their parents!
Busy weekend as usual. Hubby got sick sat. night/Sunday and shared with me, I got it Monday night/Tue. unfortunately I had to go to work with it. But found out everyone at work was passing it around their families too. Dizzy with movement, headache, stomache….. I had to do month-ends, then squeeze one and a half days into a half day because neither Doctor wanted to stay. (really? UGG) then do a Webinar. I was exhausted when I got home at 2:30 course I'd been up since 2am. When ex-sailor texted I said, tired taking a nap. You KNOW it's bad when I don't drop everything for her! We did chat at 4:30, well I entertained Tahlia so she could get supper and change for school. Then she called me @9 on her drive home from school. Neighbor called she'd picked a bushel of Basil, didn't know what to do with it. LOL We did Pesto, I got to bed after Midnight. Still not feeling the best. :(
Hubby started work Yesterday, (YEAH!!) He goes to work at the same place, just different owners, same customers, same, sh*!!.
That's my gossip, next....
Looking forward to Oct. flying out to get Real HUGS from daughter and T
Sorry about you being ill. And oh - what ever that illness that is going around - its here too. DIl first - Riker is coughing - son getting over it - hubby got it. Now he is getting better. Had two staff leaders come down with it and now guess who ?? !!!!
Right me - am I dizzy today. Fingers cross I do ok with Cub Scouts.
But so good to hear - you are flying out in October to be with Blondie Jr. Have a great trip.
Oh - gee - looks like rain again. And last Saturday - during the storm we had - we actually had a tornado touch down in a park near us. Only heavy rain - no strong winds and no warnings at all. But someone got a video of it. Two skinnest tornados - trying so hard to get together and be something. They jumped down and right back up. Well - that was the storm.
Thank you for adding me to this group. Our son and his wife got to the base on Valentines Day. He is on the USS Ronald Regan. We haven't heard much from him (normal), and occasionally hear from the girls (our daughter in-law and granddaughter). Any help is greatly appreciated.
Thank you T-Lynn. I wish hubby would have taken a different offer, but his job, he decides , All I've heard all week is him complaining, not feeling up to it, I tuned him out. LOL I think I'm over the worst part, still have to watch what I eat, Migraine yesterday felt like someone sticking an ice pike in my eye, yet felt like my eye ball was hanging out, down my cheek. back, hip and sciatica was worse but I think I just didn't feel good enuff to fight off the pain. Got adjusted and trying for a massage this afternoon. I'm trying to take care of myself, my girls check in each day with a pep talk.
Hope you're all Healthy soon.
Yeah we got another rain storm and it cooled us off. 66 this morning I'm LOVING it! our high will be mid 70's today and back down to low 60's tonight....I think the rest of the weekend Cooler Temps. I could do without the Storms!
Thanks Blondie. No damage, just surprised by actually having a or try to be tornadoes. Here too, cool Autumn weather setting in. YIPPEE - means windows open and fresh air. ANd best of all Apple Cider Donuts. Naturally - they bake then with no calories !! Ok - that is what I am telling myself. Sending healing vibes Blondie - gentle hugs
NevadaSierra - glad you like here. Getting our sailors to call. If I remember right - we did have a Voodoo Doll - look like a sailor with a cell phone in his hand and you stick a pin in the cell phone.
WE had many goofy things like that - to help us all get over things that bother us Navy Moms. With you saying you want him to call - he will soon. Somehow just saying that here makes it happen. Must be because when one of say it - we ALL feel the need to hear our sailors too. So that loving vibe goes out.
Wish all a great weekend. I will have have some gossip soon.Until then hugs
T - I am still figuring things out. All the financial stuff, and just one thing after another. I'm still in shock, getting by on lists of chores and tasks. I don't know who I am now.
Good morning Japan Moms. It has been forever since I have checked in here but something told me to do so this morning. I am so glad I did. Some things never change. This site is one of them. For that I am thankful.
Anti M, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. After looking at the pictures on your FB page it appears your life was never dull with Larry. As far as dealing with all the "stuff", my sister-in-law is doing that, too, since her husband passed in March. You will have good days and bad days and I think the only advice I can give you is: One day at a time, celebrate each and every task that you mark off your list by shouting "Yay" and putting a line through it. Family drama happens as everyone is dealing with his passing in their own way. Make time for yourself and take a day off from dealing with things every few days, if you can. Who you are now is who you were before, Larry's wife and soulmate. By dealing with all that you are having to deal with, you are honoring him by fulfilling his wishes. You are in my prayers as you go through this time. Navy Mom {{{Hugs}}}.
Blondie, I don't know how you manage to get through every day. Your motto should be, if it isn't already, "Just keep moving", LOL. It sounds like Blondie, Jr. is one busy woman. October will be here before you know it. Down here in Texas it has been a dry summer but in the last week we had one day of gentle rain and last night an hour of heavy downpour and thunder bumpers. We are expecting more this evening. Our temps are supposed to be in the 80's this week but the humidity is unbearable. I guess I will have to feel fall weather through my computer from family in Maryland, hahaha.
I have had an up and down year healthwise. I am on 3 prescriptions. One for osteoporosis discovered last year when I broke my left tibia and a bone density test was done. I give myself an injection every night before bed and I have 14 months left on the protocol. Lovastatin for a mild heart problem. Spiriva for mild COPD, 2 puffs a day. OTC supplements as directed by my primary care physician. I had bronchitis in July that took 6 weeks to get rid of. I have been ironing, cutting and sewing quilt tops that will need to be quilted sometime but since hubby completely retired in June we are living on a shoestring. He is jumping through hoops trying to get a higher percentage on his disability. We should know something soon (I type with my fingers crossed). Youngest son (my ex-sailor) graduated college in May and is still here. He has money in his account if he ever finds a job and decides to move out. For now, he is helping pay one bill a month and for that I am grateful. Well, I guess it is time to get off here. I hope everyone has a great day and weekend.
Clarification. Anti Ms Larry just passed away, mine passed 6 months ago. I am the one with SIL drama, who is now going to sue me!
Anti M, I am still dealing with financing. It is never ending. I just want to miss him and mourn, but the Paper work just drains what energy you have left. I had a lot of PJ and stay in bed days. In the beginning I was just so tired all the time. I am still worn out, still dealing with the fall out, and find myself lonely a lot the time. What I miss is the looks you give each other when we wanted to communicate without talking. The sly smiles, and sidewards glances, the secrets we shared, and the knowing someone so deeply, you could answer a question, asked of them, before they could. I want to mourn, I want to be at peace, I want to feel him next to me. I dont want to deal with stuff!
Hello! My son arrived on the USS McCampbell last week in Yokosuka Japan. Trying to connect with other families with kids on this ship or Japan in general. Any tips on comminicating with them from the US, stuff like that. I miss him!
Please forgive me for not welcoming you much sooner. You have joined a really great group of women. I am sorry that I don't have much information about communication, but I promise someone will chime in and give you the best options.
My son was in Japan for 18 months, but it has been a while ago, so I am not up on the latest communications. I hope you Sailor loves Japan, my son loved it, and he talks a lot about all of his adventures there.
This group is usually really lively, and you will love everyone on here. As you can see by the previous comments, some are dealing with heartbreaking loss of loved ones. And others are dealing with health issues themselves or helping with family members with health issues. Hang on they will all be back very soon.
I can tell you that every one of us will tell you that we relate to missing our kiddos. Some days are harder than others. My advise would be stay as busy as you can. Also, keep your phone attached to you. With the time difference, you may get a call at who knows when. My son would call us in the middle of he night and then apologize that he didn't think about the time difference. I always told him to call me anytime, not to ever worry about the time, we just wanted the calls. I also told my boss that when my son called, I would do my best not neglect my work, but I was going to answer it and talk to him. He told me to never worry about my son calling at work. I am fortunate to have a boss that understands that I have a family also.
Please chime in and tell us about yourself. Hang in there and come here to vent, complain, or best yet, brag on your Sailor any time. We all love it!
Been a while since I updated on my Mom. She turned 88 on Monday, and for the most part doing pretty good at the moment. She has moved into an Assisted Care Facility. I think I told y'all that she had been in the hospital and then went to the nursing home for therapy. After she completed her therapy she told us that she could not go home by herself, so she was going to stay at the nursing home. Well, we tried that but did not work out. The facility that she was in has nothing but semi-private rooms for permanent residents. As long as you are in therapy you get a private room. (go figure). They moved into a semi-private room on Friday and she just about had a melt down. It was so cramped and crowded with 2 patients and since they had double the amount of patients on that wing, they didn't just fly into her room when she needed them. So long story short she is now in the Assisted Care Facility and for the most part likes it. She pretty much complains to me every time I walk in the door that somebody doesn't know what they are doing. I remind her that she is not the only patient. She agrees and then we do it all over again the next time. She is just a little bit spoiled and that is okay cause we did it to her. She has 6 kids and for the most part 2 of us literally jumps every time she says to. We are having her birthday celebration this coming Sunday. We are all going to church with her, and then going to take her to her house for lunch. We had planned to do it this past Sunday, but she came down with the stomach bug on Sat. afternoon. She is feeling much better now. Last year on her birthday she was in the hospital, so we want this one to be a good day for her.
Hope everyone is doing okay! Still very hot and humid in good ole Mississippi, and we are needing rain desperately. Hoping the "achiness" I am feeling in my foot today means that some is on the way.
Welcome Debbiemcg. My son is stationed in Okinawa (shore-based) so I won't be much help with Yokosuka or ship-based communication. We mostly chat via FB messages - we're not much of a phone call family and phone calls tend to be Christmas and family emergencies rather than regular for us. It's pretty expensive for DS to phone the States so there's that also. (he has a Japanese cell plan).
I've found that letters and priority mail takes about 10 days from FL - mail to ships may take longer, I don't know. Don't mail parcel post - it can take 6-8 weeks.
@Mississippi mom - Happy Birthday to your mum - and prayers. It's hard when parents age.
Thank you for the welcome! It helps to have a group who know what it’s like to have their kids so far away at such a young age! Have only gotten a couple of texts from Jack so far. Not sure how long he will be in Japan and no address or anything yet. Sigh. We will make it through of course and I figure once he gets settled in a bit more he will share more info. Anyway thanks for the notes. I love in flagstaff, AZ. Jack finished c school in Pensacola then San Diego and now he is a CTR on his ship in Yokosuka.
debbiemcg, We always hear it is a small world. My daughter moved to Phoenix in March of this year. We were visiting her when my Mom fell and broke her leg that has led to where she is now. We drove to Flagstaff and went to the Grand Canyon. We hope to go back soon. Such a different place from Mississippi.
Hopefully your son will get you an address soon, and you can send him some of his favorites. My son loved getting homemade cookies. I had a vacuum sealer, and I would make the cookies to where they fit in a Pringles can. I would seal them up, and put them in the Pringles can, and ship them. Surprisingly enough they would arrive to him to where he could eat them.
debbiemcg - my son has been in Yokosuka over 2 years. he's assigned to a cruiser. he got a new cell in japan. we use whatsapp to communicate (text and video). facetime is also good.
i have his military email, but they read everything (especially when on board). i email to him to his private email when i want to go on about life; i use his military email to make sure he checks in. when they're underway, they generally don't have much if any access to communicate until they pull into a port.
for mailing address - if you find the ombudsman page for your sailors ship, that may have the current ship mailing address. it also has the contact information for that ship's ombudsman which is good info to have.
my son rotates out as of december. i know he's loved being there (he's my world traveler).
debbiemcg - there are some Facebook pages - I follow 7th Fleet and there is a good one for my sons cruiser. Sometimes they post pics from on board - some have my son in them so that’s cool.
Remember, the screener who may read the emails is part of the crew. On a smaller ship, they might even bunk next to your sailor and know them fairly well. And don't try to develop a code to get around OPSEC, it is painfully obvious. I don't know which sailors screen the emails, but I think it is one of the CT ratings.
Anti M, thinking of you. Sending you strength and Love.
Elaine, that’s pretty much my moto, just keep moving forward. YES, Oct. is almost here!!! Already dreading coming back home LOL My husband decided against retiring and has went back to work. Same ole same ole. Long hard hours and his body just can’t take it. Sorry to hear of your health problems, this getting old sucks!
HUGS Maggs. I can only imagine what a struggle each day is. Life is so unfair sometimes. I hope you’re taking “ME” time tho. Even if it’s just a cup of joe or glass of wine at sunrise/sunset, take a deep breath and just be, feel the power within you.
Miss, belated birthday wishes for your mom.
Debbiemcg, my daughter was in Japan for 3 years and was on the flagship, she LOVED it. We visited and Loved it also. Hugs, hope you get communication figured out soon.
Weather is cool here 60's/40's warming up today 70;s but rain. :( I' m loving the cooler weather! but this time of year is Always busy, closing up garden. Oct. is just around the corner and my trip south.
maggs
Drama soul, he should get a phone in Japan. its cheaper.. and My sailor said better. I did Tell my SIL about the Medals being held for my son. They have been his since he was 18, so they are not mine to make the decision over. However he would not want to tell her no.. Because she is reevaluating our relationship if she doesnt get it. I dont want her to do that to my so, so I will be the bad person in this scenario. I will spend Hubbys birthday with a friend, rather than SIL, will spend My birthday with my children and their significant others. Will spend Christmas with them in the AM, and that evening with friends. I have options, and I will take them.. not the same when my kids will be at SILs But I know I am doing the right thing.
Aug 27, 2018
Kim
ProudMomf, you are stuck with us now!
We started as moms afraid for our sons and daughters overseas. Someones grandchild named us 'Pan Moms.
We decided that no one is allowed to leave when their child leaves Japan. Yes, we became friends on the internet, but we are more than that now.
Please join us and share.
Aug 27, 2018
Chris, Forever Ray's Proud Mom
Thanks Kim.
We're behind you Maggs, and I'll wager the first family event that you miss, wither your SIL will, again, reevaluate your relationship and realize you are more important, or your kids will and be with you.
Aug 28, 2018
Lauren - Ship 11 Div 317
Sorry, me stalking again, I totally agree with ProudMom Maggs and you do what is right for you, the SIL will get over it, she will regret burying the medal and the history behind it, once it is in the ground, it is gone for everyone. Agree, wills are soooo important, saves the family from making these difficult decisions. Love you all, NMH!
Aug 28, 2018
Blondie
bless you Maggs. Family issues are so tricky and messy. Sounds like you have a hold on it. Praying SIL gets her emotions under control and re-thinks her stand. We've had lots of such disagreements in our family, Hubby comes from 12 children, who gets what? what's fair? But I have to believe FIL did what he did because it was his wishes. Praying SIL sees this in neat future.
I love that all you ladies jumped in with Good advice and Loving support.
Aug 28, 2018
Beachmomblue
what great support we have here. Hugs
Aug 28, 2018
Navymom2
Maggs: sorry you have to go through the drama at all. My two cents is don't bury the medal. It is too precious to be buried and forgotten. Sounds like you are a strong and wise woman. Your SIL will come around soon or later. Probably later...
DramaSoul: Praying for your family and your auntie. I agree with you on the "wills" issue. I have been telling folks to get their wills in order to avoid the family drama. If it is down in writing, people can't accuse anyone of mishandling things. Also, we communicate with our son in Japan via Nucleus. It seems to work better than Sprint. Just a thought...
Chris: Please post pics. Happy you will be traveling to Japan soon too...
Been out of sorts with a head cold. Feeling better. Sending hugs and much love to all my Navy moms...
Aug 28, 2018
Anti M
Purple Hearts are not to be buried. Get a new one off ebay and give it to the SIL, shell be none the wiser. I have my grandfather's PH from WWI in a nice shadowbox, and will give it to my nephew some day.
I've not been posting as my husband became very ill very quickly. They thought his shoulder pain was a pinched nerve, but no. That he had pneumonia, but no. Lung cancer. Just diagnosed three weeks ago, very rapid and aggressive advancement. He passed away yesterday morning. Everyone has been very kind. He will be cremated, then buried at sea by the Navy. And some of his ashes will go to Burning Man next year to go in the temple. We are not at all religious, so this is what he wanted, and what suits us both.
He was my life, my best friend, and my great love. The years will be so empty alone.
Aug 28, 2018
DramaSoul
Oh Anti M....I am so very sorry for the loss of your Soulmate. May his memory be a blessing in your heart. So much loss. I just started to cry when I read your post.
On a different note...I had a lovely surprise last night. I had just gotten into bed to read and my cell phone rang. It was my Corpsman calling from Okinawa! I hadn’t spoken to him since he was on his way to deployment. He sounded good and to hear his laughter and humor really made me feel so much better. He had spoken to my awesome DIL a couple of days earlier (she had sent me text that she had heard from him) and wanted to catch up with me. It makes it easier for me having him so far away to hear about the mundane things and the not-so-mundane things. He and a couple of his buddies went to Nago to the aquarium over the weekend. They had pooled money and bought a beater car they can all use. He said it was quite comical with 5 not-so-small guys fitting into a compact vehicle. He is 6’1” and about 200 buff lbs so I can just imagine what that was like.
I just read the interesting story of the 4th Marine Regiment and why it is the steward of the Pacific. Anyone know any more information on this?
Thank you, ladies, for being the amazing people you are! Hugs to all of you.
Aug 28, 2018
maggs
Anti M so sorry to hear this. Its a club i dont want anyone to join!. Please take care of yourself.. Know that PJ days are OK, take things one day at a time. -I still have trouble with this one-. If you feel like crying, its OK. There is no time line. Dont make any fast decisions, dont let people make them for you. -I still have his tooth brush in its holder-. Accept counseling, find people to listen, dont worry about repeating your story. Cry when you feel like it. I have days where it still feels unreal. Tell everyone you need a year to make any decision, even minor ones, that way they wont be pushing you to do things you are not ready to do. If it takes less or longer, thats OK too. These next few month is going to be overwhelming with DMV, Social Security, Banks, Medical, etc. Any bills just in his name is not yours to pay. Most of all, among all this clutter, you will need time to mourn him. Again I send my deepest condolences.
Aug 28, 2018
Kim
AntiM, I am so sorry for your loss. I am speechless.
Maggs, I hope your SIL comes around. One day her great grandchildren will be studying the war and should feel proud. It should be a source of family pride and honor for future generations to see.
Aug 29, 2018
Anti M
Thank you Maggs. His family is from out of state, and I couldn't deal with them, so they got to visit then leave. We didn't manage to have kids, and his son is half the country away, so while I have a good support system, no one is asking for anything. Almost no one, my one SIL doesn't have the sense not to ask to borrow the car (I don't drive). Gah. Yes, the dealing with stuff is draining. I did this for my father, so I know how to handle a good deal of it, but not SS. They sound like a pain in the ass. I am so glad we have cremation insurance, and one of the mortgages has life insurance and will be totally paid. The other one was supposed to, but someone made an error. Still, he has a couple good policies, and I will get Navy survivor benefits, plus my VA, so I will be okay. I strongly suggest everyone make sure you have adequate insurance. Nothing is guaranteed. Everyone thought my strong vital Larry would outlove me by a decade or more, but cancer took him in a matter of three weeks.
Hug your loved ones, be kind, never take ordinary moments for granted. And don't put off that trip or celebration. Take many pictures.
Aug 29, 2018
NavyMum
oh Anti M - I'm so very sorry for your loss.
Aug 29, 2018
Lauren - Ship 11 Div 317
So sorry for your loss Anti M, my heart just breaks for you! NMH's
Aug 29, 2018
maggs
Aug 29, 2018
maggs
kim, SIL couldnt have children. She married a man with three, and has been a step parent to them. We inherited the things FIL wanted kept in the family. He also said, we were not to fight over his decisions.
Aug 29, 2018
CindyN
Anti M - I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It sounds like you had a lifetime of love in a short period of time. But that time is never enough.
Aug 29, 2018
Blondie
Anti M, I have no words. I'm SO Sorry. HUGS The Sea and Burning Man sounds like the Perfect Tribute. We are here if you need Anything.
Maggs, such Good advice Thanks for opening your heart and sharing.
DramaSoul, I'm doing the Happy Dance for you!!!! It does a Mama's heart good to hear their voice. Love the car story, I can imagine them trying to cram in there, just like High School. LOL
Hi and Navy Hugs to All
Aug 29, 2018
Navymom2
Anti M: so sorry to hear about the lost of your husband. Sending you hugs and condolences. Nothing I can write here can ease what you are going through. Perhaps you can rest in knowing he is no longer in pain and suffering. I'm glad he was your life, best friend, and great love. Some people never find what you both shared... truly special. Remember and cherish those memories. You are in my thoughts. (((HUGS)))
Aug 29, 2018
Blondie
Well said Navymom2 ! Dito, I didn't know how to say it.
Aug 29, 2018
T-Lynn
HI
Gentle hugs AntiM. And thank you for the advice of being prepared.
One mom asked if you really know each other or just internet buddies. I hope you see that we are family. I would LOVE to actually hug my family here. And one day I WILL !! But until then - I can feel all the hugs and love through words. Hope you can too.
AntiM - when you are able - please share some great photos of you and hubby. I so enjoyed your trips - Burn - and photos of him in his kilts and bow tie in his beard. Just want the new Moms to see your love for each other.
Who said they had a head cold? It appears me too. Just great in time for Labor Day weekend.
Maggs- sounds like you made your decision. You rock gf!
need to split - have to get ready for meeting. hugs all
Aug 29, 2018
Anti M
These are some FB pictures, anyone should be able to see them
https://www.facebook.com/maggiemayday/posts/10215035427217761
Aug 29, 2018
Blondie
Thanks for sharing Anti M
Aug 29, 2018
DramaSoul
Anti M....thank you so much for sharing the pictures! So wonderful. It looks like you two had such fun. What amazing memories you have....
Hugs to you.
Maggs and Anti M...you are both in my heart. I was not blessed to have that kind of a partner in my life. It fills my heart with joy to know there are people who do.
Geez....this is the most I have posted in a long time!!
Aug 29, 2018
NitaSewBee
I was a Japan Mom back in the year the tsaumini hit. Is it really true what someone said back in 2015.. you are not allowed to leave. Well sometimes it happens when you are inactive for a time and your profile gets deleted. But I am back. My son has gone on to another post, well has gone on to many more posts since Japan. and I am back on N4M's. Hi Blondie
Aug 31, 2018
Blondie
DramaSoul glad to see you more active. We LOVE gossip here.
Hi NitaSewBee, Glad you found your way back! I was kicked off one time and NOT because I wasn't active (LOL) but some update and my computer....It was tuff getting back on here. But SO glad I did. I miss these ladies. Where is your son now?
Aug 31, 2018
NitaSewBee
Blondie, my son is in Florida now. He's been in New Jersey, VA and now he's in Florida. While in New Jersey, he was "Recruiter of the Year" for the Northeast. He and his wife have 2 little girls..5 and almost 3. Amelia was born in New Jersey and Charlotte. was born while he was in VA.. I now have 6 grandbabies ranging from 15 yrs old down to 2 yrs old. The last 4 are a year apart.
Aug 31, 2018
NitaSewBee
Blondie, I sent you a friend request
Aug 31, 2018
NitaSewBee
T-Lynn.. hi..
Anti-M.. so very sorry for your loss. words can't begin to reach, however here is a cyber hug or 2 for you.
in my eyes and heart.. we are more than just internet buddies.. we are all family...Navy moms are joined at the heart.. when one person hurts, we all feel it... I remember when I was on N4M's before. When one of my fellow moms had a crisis in her state, I joined that group and lent my support to all the others. its what we do..
Aug 31, 2018
NitaSewBee
Nobody listens to me... I told the hubby , you have Friday nite off, but we cant go to the drive ins you have to work. .Saturday. morning early. he saids no, its Sunday. so what just happened? his boss called and asked him where he was, he was supposed to be somewhere at 7am. I told him that, but what do I know? oh well. I cleaned our closet last nite, found stuff I have been looking for like forever. Now that hubby is not home, I can perhaps finish room, clear off our bed, and tear it apart. Put mattress and box spring on floor.. or maybe not,maybe I will just sew today. oh yeah, now I have to call our youngest and ask him about brakes for the back... maybe I will do our bed, that way maybe he will not complain about having to sleep on the futon in the living room.he's going to complain no matter what. I am sorry about complaining about hubby, Especially after Anti M's loss. but its just frustrating to me. When he's home, he sits on his computer and hardly saids a word to me. But the minute he's headed somewhere, its call wifey on the phone and start talking to her. I'll be like.." hey this is stuff you should be telling me when you are home." But guess when he's home, his mind isn't in gear. ok rant is over. I do have sewing I could do....and my sewing room does need cleaning. Maybe in a few minutes.
Sep 1, 2018
Chris, Forever Ray's Proud Mom
Sep 3, 2018
T-Lynn
HI
Great pic! Hope they had a good day to climb. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Drama - about time you got back here. And you too NitaSewBee. Got tickled when I saw your two back. Hugs
AntiM - the pictures are wonderful. Hope you are doing better and able to navigate your new waters with some ease.
Here - I start my first sessions with cub scouts today. Teh little ones will be fine to be with - its the moody Scout Leaders that has me jumpy. Already - one has text me that they have to leave a session early. Its the first day!
Ok - done, I am done b---------.
Wish all a good week hugs
Sep 4, 2018
Blondie
I agree with NitaSewBee, We're all family here.
LOVE the picture! Safe climbing to them. Start planning now for your trip :)
T-Lynn, We see the same thing here, no wonder the kids/young adults are the way they are, look at their parents!
Busy weekend as usual. Hubby got sick sat. night/Sunday and shared with me, I got it Monday night/Tue. unfortunately I had to go to work with it. But found out everyone at work was passing it around their families too. Dizzy with movement, headache, stomache….. I had to do month-ends, then squeeze one and a half days into a half day because neither Doctor wanted to stay. (really? UGG) then do a Webinar. I was exhausted when I got home at 2:30 course I'd been up since 2am. When ex-sailor texted I said, tired taking a nap. You KNOW it's bad when I don't drop everything for her! We did chat at 4:30, well I entertained Tahlia so she could get supper and change for school. Then she called me @9 on her drive home from school. Neighbor called she'd picked a bushel of Basil, didn't know what to do with it. LOL We did Pesto, I got to bed after Midnight. Still not feeling the best. :(
Hubby started work Yesterday, (YEAH!!) He goes to work at the same place, just different owners, same customers, same, sh*!!.
That's my gossip, next....
Looking forward to Oct. flying out to get Real HUGS from daughter and T
Sep 5, 2018
T-Lynn
HI
Blondie - Yippe job for hubby... happy or ?
Sorry about you being ill. And oh - what ever that illness that is going around - its here too. DIl first - Riker is coughing - son getting over it - hubby got it. Now he is getting better. Had two staff leaders come down with it and now guess who ?? !!!!
Right me - am I dizzy today. Fingers cross I do ok with Cub Scouts.
But so good to hear - you are flying out in October to be with Blondie Jr. Have a great trip.
Oh - gee - looks like rain again. And last Saturday - during the storm we had - we actually had a tornado touch down in a park near us. Only heavy rain - no strong winds and no warnings at all. But someone got a video of it. Two skinnest tornados - trying so hard to get together and be something. They jumped down and right back up. Well - that was the storm.
Wish all a great day. And stay well ! hugs
Sep 5, 2018
NevadaSierra
Thank you for adding me to this group. Our son and his wife got to the base on Valentines Day. He is on the USS Ronald Regan. We haven't heard much from him (normal), and occasionally hear from the girls (our daughter in-law and granddaughter). Any help is greatly appreciated.
Sep 5, 2018
Blondie
Thank you T-Lynn. I wish hubby would have taken a different offer, but his job, he decides , All I've heard all week is him complaining, not feeling up to it, I tuned him out. LOL I think I'm over the worst part, still have to watch what I eat, Migraine yesterday felt like someone sticking an ice pike in my eye, yet felt like my eye ball was hanging out, down my cheek. back, hip and sciatica was worse but I think I just didn't feel good enuff to fight off the pain. Got adjusted and trying for a massage this afternoon. I'm trying to take care of myself, my girls check in each day with a pep talk.
Hope you're all Healthy soon.
Yeah we got another rain storm and it cooled us off. 66 this morning I'm LOVING it! our high will be mid 70's today and back down to low 60's tonight....I think the rest of the weekend Cooler Temps. I could do without the Storms!
glad you didn't have any damage.
Sep 7, 2018
T-Lynn
HI
Thanks Blondie. No damage, just surprised by actually having a or try to be tornadoes. Here too, cool Autumn weather setting in. YIPPEE - means windows open and fresh air. ANd best of all Apple Cider Donuts. Naturally - they bake then with no calories !! Ok - that is what I am telling myself. Sending healing vibes Blondie - gentle hugs
NevadaSierra - glad you like here. Getting our sailors to call. If I remember right - we did have a Voodoo Doll - look like a sailor with a cell phone in his hand and you stick a pin in the cell phone.
WE had many goofy things like that - to help us all get over things that bother us Navy Moms. With you saying you want him to call - he will soon. Somehow just saying that here makes it happen. Must be because when one of say it - we ALL feel the need to hear our sailors too. So that loving vibe goes out.
Wish all a great weekend. I will have have some gossip soon.Until then hugs
Sep 7, 2018
Anti M
T - I am still figuring things out. All the financial stuff, and just one thing after another. I'm still in shock, getting by on lists of chores and tasks. I don't know who I am now.
Sep 7, 2018
Elaine-PIR 10/1/10
Good morning Japan Moms. It has been forever since I have checked in here but something told me to do so this morning. I am so glad I did. Some things never change. This site is one of them. For that I am thankful.
Anti M, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. After looking at the pictures on your FB page it appears your life was never dull with Larry. As far as dealing with all the "stuff", my sister-in-law is doing that, too, since her husband passed in March. You will have good days and bad days and I think the only advice I can give you is: One day at a time, celebrate each and every task that you mark off your list by shouting "Yay" and putting a line through it. Family drama happens as everyone is dealing with his passing in their own way. Make time for yourself and take a day off from dealing with things every few days, if you can. Who you are now is who you were before, Larry's wife and soulmate. By dealing with all that you are having to deal with, you are honoring him by fulfilling his wishes. You are in my prayers as you go through this time. Navy Mom {{{Hugs}}}.
Blondie, I don't know how you manage to get through every day. Your motto should be, if it isn't already, "Just keep moving", LOL. It sounds like Blondie, Jr. is one busy woman. October will be here before you know it. Down here in Texas it has been a dry summer but in the last week we had one day of gentle rain and last night an hour of heavy downpour and thunder bumpers. We are expecting more this evening. Our temps are supposed to be in the 80's this week but the humidity is unbearable. I guess I will have to feel fall weather through my computer from family in Maryland, hahaha.
I have had an up and down year healthwise. I am on 3 prescriptions. One for osteoporosis discovered last year when I broke my left tibia and a bone density test was done. I give myself an injection every night before bed and I have 14 months left on the protocol. Lovastatin for a mild heart problem. Spiriva for mild COPD, 2 puffs a day. OTC supplements as directed by my primary care physician. I had bronchitis in July that took 6 weeks to get rid of. I have been ironing, cutting and sewing quilt tops that will need to be quilted sometime but since hubby completely retired in June we are living on a shoestring. He is jumping through hoops trying to get a higher percentage on his disability. We should know something soon (I type with my fingers crossed). Youngest son (my ex-sailor) graduated college in May and is still here. He has money in his account if he ever finds a job and decides to move out. For now, he is helping pay one bill a month and for that I am grateful. Well, I guess it is time to get off here. I hope everyone has a great day and weekend.
Sep 7, 2018
maggs
Clarification. Anti Ms Larry just passed away, mine passed 6 months ago. I am the one with SIL drama, who is now going to sue me!
Anti M, I am still dealing with financing. It is never ending. I just want to miss him and mourn, but the Paper work just drains what energy you have left. I had a lot of PJ and stay in bed days. In the beginning I was just so tired all the time. I am still worn out, still dealing with the fall out, and find myself lonely a lot the time. What I miss is the looks you give each other when we wanted to communicate without talking. The sly smiles, and sidewards glances, the secrets we shared, and the knowing someone so deeply, you could answer a question, asked of them, before they could. I want to mourn, I want to be at peace, I want to feel him next to me. I dont want to deal with stuff!
Sep 7, 2018
debbiemcg
Sep 16, 2018
Mississippi Mom
Welcome debbiemcg!
Please forgive me for not welcoming you much sooner. You have joined a really great group of women. I am sorry that I don't have much information about communication, but I promise someone will chime in and give you the best options.
My son was in Japan for 18 months, but it has been a while ago, so I am not up on the latest communications. I hope you Sailor loves Japan, my son loved it, and he talks a lot about all of his adventures there.
This group is usually really lively, and you will love everyone on here. As you can see by the previous comments, some are dealing with heartbreaking loss of loved ones. And others are dealing with health issues themselves or helping with family members with health issues. Hang on they will all be back very soon.
I can tell you that every one of us will tell you that we relate to missing our kiddos. Some days are harder than others. My advise would be stay as busy as you can. Also, keep your phone attached to you. With the time difference, you may get a call at who knows when. My son would call us in the middle of he night and then apologize that he didn't think about the time difference. I always told him to call me anytime, not to ever worry about the time, we just wanted the calls. I also told my boss that when my son called, I would do my best not neglect my work, but I was going to answer it and talk to him. He told me to never worry about my son calling at work. I am fortunate to have a boss that understands that I have a family also.
Please chime in and tell us about yourself. Hang in there and come here to vent, complain, or best yet, brag on your Sailor any time. We all love it!
Been a while since I updated on my Mom. She turned 88 on Monday, and for the most part doing pretty good at the moment. She has moved into an Assisted Care Facility. I think I told y'all that she had been in the hospital and then went to the nursing home for therapy. After she completed her therapy she told us that she could not go home by herself, so she was going to stay at the nursing home. Well, we tried that but did not work out. The facility that she was in has nothing but semi-private rooms for permanent residents. As long as you are in therapy you get a private room. (go figure). They moved into a semi-private room on Friday and she just about had a melt down. It was so cramped and crowded with 2 patients and since they had double the amount of patients on that wing, they didn't just fly into her room when she needed them. So long story short she is now in the Assisted Care Facility and for the most part likes it. She pretty much complains to me every time I walk in the door that somebody doesn't know what they are doing. I remind her that she is not the only patient. She agrees and then we do it all over again the next time. She is just a little bit spoiled and that is okay cause we did it to her. She has 6 kids and for the most part 2 of us literally jumps every time she says to. We are having her birthday celebration this coming Sunday. We are all going to church with her, and then going to take her to her house for lunch. We had planned to do it this past Sunday, but she came down with the stomach bug on Sat. afternoon. She is feeling much better now. Last year on her birthday she was in the hospital, so we want this one to be a good day for her.
Hope everyone is doing okay! Still very hot and humid in good ole Mississippi, and we are needing rain desperately. Hoping the "achiness" I am feeling in my foot today means that some is on the way.
Sep 19, 2018
NavyMum
Welcome Debbiemcg. My son is stationed in Okinawa (shore-based) so I won't be much help with Yokosuka or ship-based communication. We mostly chat via FB messages - we're not much of a phone call family and phone calls tend to be Christmas and family emergencies rather than regular for us. It's pretty expensive for DS to phone the States so there's that also. (he has a Japanese cell plan).
I've found that letters and priority mail takes about 10 days from FL - mail to ships may take longer, I don't know. Don't mail parcel post - it can take 6-8 weeks.
@Mississippi mom - Happy Birthday to your mum - and prayers. It's hard when parents age.
Sep 19, 2018
debbiemcg
Sep 20, 2018
Mississippi Mom
debbiemcg, We always hear it is a small world. My daughter moved to Phoenix in March of this year. We were visiting her when my Mom fell and broke her leg that has led to where she is now. We drove to Flagstaff and went to the Grand Canyon. We hope to go back soon. Such a different place from Mississippi.
Hopefully your son will get you an address soon, and you can send him some of his favorites. My son loved getting homemade cookies. I had a vacuum sealer, and I would make the cookies to where they fit in a Pringles can. I would seal them up, and put them in the Pringles can, and ship them. Surprisingly enough they would arrive to him to where he could eat them.
Sep 21, 2018
scully_the_skeptic
debbiemcg - my son has been in Yokosuka over 2 years. he's assigned to a cruiser. he got a new cell in japan. we use whatsapp to communicate (text and video). facetime is also good.
i have his military email, but they read everything (especially when on board). i email to him to his private email when i want to go on about life; i use his military email to make sure he checks in. when they're underway, they generally don't have much if any access to communicate until they pull into a port.
for mailing address - if you find the ombudsman page for your sailors ship, that may have the current ship mailing address. it also has the contact information for that ship's ombudsman which is good info to have.
my son rotates out as of december. i know he's loved being there (he's my world traveler).
Sep 21, 2018
scully_the_skeptic
Sep 22, 2018
Anti M
Remember, the screener who may read the emails is part of the crew. On a smaller ship, they might even bunk next to your sailor and know them fairly well. And don't try to develop a code to get around OPSEC, it is painfully obvious. I don't know which sailors screen the emails, but I think it is one of the CT ratings.
https://www.navy.mil/submit/display.asp?story_id=95177
Sep 22, 2018
debbiemcg
Sep 22, 2018
Blondie
Anti M, thinking of you. Sending you strength and Love.
Elaine, that’s pretty much my moto, just keep moving forward. YES, Oct. is almost here!!! Already dreading coming back home LOL My husband decided against retiring and has went back to work. Same ole same ole. Long hard hours and his body just can’t take it. Sorry to hear of your health problems, this getting old sucks!
HUGS Maggs. I can only imagine what a struggle each day is. Life is so unfair sometimes. I hope you’re taking “ME” time tho. Even if it’s just a cup of joe or glass of wine at sunrise/sunset, take a deep breath and just be, feel the power within you.
Miss, belated birthday wishes for your mom.
Debbiemcg, my daughter was in Japan for 3 years and was on the flagship, she LOVED it. We visited and Loved it also. Hugs, hope you get communication figured out soon.
Weather is cool here 60's/40's warming up today 70;s but rain. :( I' m loving the cooler weather! but this time of year is Always busy, closing up garden. Oct. is just around the corner and my trip south.
Sep 25, 2018