Ship 5 Moms(Formerly Ship 17)

Got the dreaded call tonight that my daughter was sent to ship 5.  She has a stress fracture in ankle and is mentally beaten.  They has said that she is having separation anxiety issues.  This is just the worst news and we are so sad.  I can't even imagine how terrible my daughter feels.  I just want to hug her and can't.

I talked to legal yesterday and today.  Yesterday they said his chances of beating it were no, but after I reviewed a few things he had written down she said there wass a possibility.  I need to talk to him before he goes to legal so I called today and they said they would have him call me before he talks to them.

Good morning!  I'm new here.  My son arrived at BC on 4/4.  He called last night to tell me he was SIQ and would be moving to Ship 5 and then eventually be sent home.  He said he was feleing depressed and asked to speak with a councelor.  After speaking with her, she diagnosed him as having anxiety disorder then she took it to the Captain (I think that's who he said) and they signed a discharge order.  He's only been there 2 1/2 weeks.  Of course he was depressed.  Of course he was anxious.  He had only gotten 2 letters from me by the time they S/IQ'ed him (because I had only recently gotten his address).  Shouldn't they be trying to get these boys to stick it out just a little longer.  The 1st 2 weeks are the hardest.  My SR didn't even have a chance to adjust.  He just wanted someone to talk to.  He's so upset.  I aksed him if he wanted to stay and he said he wanted to but wasn't exactly sure.  I just think if they had given him more time he would have realized he could do this.  He could finish and he'd be proud of himself.  It's just not fair!!  Now I'm wondering, what will happen to all the letters that are already on their way to him.  And how do I address any new letters?  He was Ship 13, Div 210.  Obviously the Ship # will change but what do I put for the division?  And does everythign else stay the same?  Sorry for the rambling.  My head just isn't clear on any of this. 

My son shipped 4/8 and has been in ship 5 since the 10th.  He met with an attorney yesterday and then legal.  He was given an RE8 separation, which means he can re-enlist in 6 month, which he says he want to do.  He has some things he has to do before he can re-enlist.  See what their separation rate was.  They may be able to re-enlist.

Angie, yes I understand the whole thing of handling stress while out to sea.  My dad was Navy, my son's father was Navy.  I've lived Navy my whole life.  However, what I disagree with is that by acknowleding that my son is depressed and the consequence of that is he is told he cannot be in the Navy.  What happened to teaching our children to work through their problems.  Why is the Navy teaching him that just because he was a little homesick then he is not qualified for the Navy.  My son just wanted to talk to someone.  Talking about your problems is a whole lot healthier than holding it all in.  And my son has never in his life displayed any "anxiety issues"  He is the most laid back kid, nothing ever really bothered him.  He has only been there 2 1/2 weeks.  Had my son been given the suggestion to stick it out just a little bit longer, he would have had all kinds of mail arriving for him, all positive and upbeat.  He would have gotten the pick me up he needed and then found the strength in himself to carry on.  He would have adjusted, if he had the chance to finish this

What burns me the most is he says he owes $650 in clothes.  He never went to bootcamp and has weats and such.  He said he got one uniform and boots but has to return befor ehe leaves.  Why should he pay for the uniform when you know they will give to somebody else.  Then if he does get back in he will have to pay for all of it again.  Sounds like double dipping to me.  I have a good notion to box up all the stuff they gave him and if he gets back in send him with theb ox and say I have everything already, here it is, don;t charge me again.

sunny:  I'm so very sorry about this.  Yes, I know what you mean...he just arrived, and of course, there are adjustments for all of them.  Of course, we can't second guess the Navy....but it does seem that observing him for a couple of weeks to see more of what is going on with him would give him a chance.  Unfortunately, with the Navy being overmanned right now, and more budget cuts ordered for them, there is little patience in the Navy now for issues that formerly would have been allowed.  My son would tell me that those working with him who had been in the Navy for years were astounded at what sailors were being released for....and they would tell him that this never happened in the "old" Navy.  They refer to current times/rules as the "new" Navy.

If your son wants to stay, I sure hope he will fight this.  There was a SR recently that was told he had a hearing issue.  His mom said that he has never had a hearing issue?  They were going to separate him.  He was able to stay and fight this diagnosis, and is now going to be resuming training.  Fighting separation can take some time...and that's the hard part.  In some cases, it can take a couple of months or more....and the SRs find that part difficult.

Hoping that you get another call from your son so you can see how he is doing.  Prayers and blessings to both of you as this goes on.

Awww, Angie....sorry to differ with you....but I find my friends/family/others around me "just what the doctor ordered" many times when I need a "pick me up!"  If that wasn't God's purpose for us, he would have stopped with just Adam....Eve would have never been created!  :-)  Although we each need to take control of our own life, we certainly need others at times....no doubt, when the SRs are doing BattleStations, there are many who encourage those who are tired/sick/have a weak moment....and all become sailors!  Maybe you should listen to the words of the song:  Lean on Me.  One of my favorites of all time! 

Here you go, Angie! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3rM8pL2O2k

Thank you to most of you for being supportive and understanding.  I guess I'm used to the old school Navy ways- the times when kids weren't pushed to give up so easily and were taught to push through the tough times.  My dad was an RDC (back in the day they were called Company Commanders) and he would come home many times talking about how he would have guys want to go home but he'd always give them a pep talk and encourage them to keep fighting for their future.  Many of those same boys kept in touch with my father throughout the years and even came to attend his funeral last year when he passed.  I wish my SR had had someone like that to talk to instead of someone who in the space of an hour misdiagnoses my son with anxiety disorder instead of simple homesickness which will ease with the pasing weeks.  And to others on here, perhaps you should reread the information box describing this group... I came to this group for support, not to be attacked for my opinions.  I support my son in every thing he does.  That's why I'm upset because something he wanted so badly has been taken away from him.  He told me today he wished he had never spoken to the councelor.  Would that have been the right thing to do?  He does plan on coming home and then working towards reenlisting-regardless of what waivers he needs.  He will not stay there for an unknown length of time waiting for his appeal to come up. 

sunny2372.  I feel the same way.  My son in the "moment of truth" disclosed things he had not told during the whole enlisting process (as he was told to do by his recruiter) and was told whatever they said would not be held against them.  Guess what it was held against them.  He is coming home within the next week and has to get some paperwork verifying some information and then can re-enlist at that time.  He still wants to joing the Navy.  I prayu that your son will work through this, as I pray my son will, and they both will become Navy Sailors.

Thank you sincerely wfindley.  I wish the best for your son and you :0)

There you go again Angie, just cant be nice for long. PLEASE stay off this page, I ask you for the second time! Go Away!!! None of these families need your need your style of HELP, it's not helping! Well said Terri! Guess we have to be the Angie Police. Guess we need to hold someones hand.....lol

Thanks Terri, always watching! Yes we do!!!

Kudos to you ladies here who are encouraging!  I know the others so appreciate it!  :-)

Angie, on behalf of all on this site.  You need to back off.  I'm not sure what the circumstances are with your son, but I can tell you my son was put in the ship because he had not admitted that he had taken medication for ADD in high school, has not taken since then and it was for learning purposes only.  He also had taken medication for a back issue which was not disclosed.  He did not say he took them per instructions from his recruiter, whcih I understand happens alot.  He has passed all drug tests during his duration of 7 months, he was in DEP.  He now is coming home and can re-enlist in 6 months after getting waivers for the above.  Also, keep in mind that my son's grandpa dies and was buried 4 days before he left, and his granpas sister died 4 days after him.  Do before you make comments as you do it might help if you know all the circumstances and don't make broad statements like you do so well.  So you can back off, obviously not every son is as perfect as yours.  As the old saying goes if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all.  For those moms who have sons in ship good luck and keep your heads up and tell your sons to.

Patti, what seperation did he get.  Did he meet with an attorney before he went to legal?  My son got a RE8 and was told he could re-enlist in 6 months.  The attorney suggested that rather than situp there and fight it.  Good luck.

My son was told the same thing.  He said since he now knows what it is all about he is going to re-enlist with his waivers.  Tell your son if he wants it to go after it.  Don't let someone else decide his future.  If they said he could re-enlist he probably got an RE8.

I did not mean to literally speak for the entire group.  Everyone handles things differently and have different cicumstances and to make genral statements is not appropriate.  I guess you could say my son was a wimp and didn't have the mental to stick it out, but what would any boy did if he grandpa was buried 4 days before he left and his aunt died and was buried 2 days before he left.  No one knows what their boy would do once all that happen and they are suddenly in a new place with new things and people.  All situations are different so that has to be taken into account. Angie said -Yes you all would like for your recruits to get another chance, or for RTC to allow them to be homesick, but that isn't the case.  Not everyone can cut it in the Navy. I guess Angie knows everything about the Navy and on this site moms are not aloud to voice their feelings.  That's all they are doing.  People shouls just listen and not judge. 

Sigh.....I hope that all of the negativity can stop on here so that all can get back to supporting one another.  There are so many who need this site....comfort and info, that is.  Angie is ex-Navy herself so she does have some great knowledge, but in my humble opinion, is a bit too blunt at times.  Stating the facts can always be done in a nice way.  Like:

"He/she can try to get back in with the waivers, and hopefully they may be able to, but right now with the economy so bad, it is tough."

That is giving the info/facts without blasting people. 

It's all in the presentation....no, no coddling, no sugarcoating, but there is a nice "in between" that could be used rather than the abruptness and rudeness that has been posted in the past. 

Now, hopefully we can let this matter die out and get back to helping those newbies who come here for help.  We N4Moms veterans over on the PIR sites are doing our best to give info when we can, but know this particular site here is for emotional support while in Ship 5 and more specific info.  We are the ones who send most over here.

Angie, I respectfully ask you to read the intro paragaph at the top of this page and just try and be a little kinder when giving your info???  All can benefit from the info you have to offer from your experience and knowledge....but .... you know....

Agreed.  My son just called and comes home Tuesday or Wednesday.  I will be there to support his quest to re-enlist and hope he can because that is what he wants.

Here, here diannep. 

gotta laugh and don't take things to heart...  people can and do have their own ideas and opinions. don't put a rope around your neighbors neck cause their dog pooped in yard.

I send rose a message

Shinx, sorry for jumping on you.  Just trying to figure out what he has to do next.  He was given an RE8 which means he can re-enlist in 6 months with additional waivers.  He does want to rejoin now that he has been up there for 3 weeks in Ship 5.  His reason for Ship 5 was during moment of truth he stood up, even though his recuiter told him not to.  He felt as he had to and they said anything hey said would not be held against the,  I am just oping he can re-enlist in 6 months like they said with no issues.  He said now that he is up there this is what he wants to do and hopes he gets another chance.  Just hoping them give him another chance.  He does ot want to go in DEP again which took him 7 months.  Hoping he can get in right away if they accept him back i.  ANy suggestions?

I stand corrected, Angie.  Sorry, didn't mean to offend using the ex-Navy term. 

HAPPY MAY DAY

alohacoffee:  Just saw a post not long ago where someone was back at bootcamp again, after waiting a year, getting a waiver, and getting back in.  We had heard that no waivers are being accepted now because of the overmanned situation in the Navy, but this person got back in.  So you never know!  Hope all works out for your son!

From what I have heard, all branches have been affected somewhat in this area.  But the Navy has been hit very hard by budget cuts, and so it may be worse for the Navy.

Hello,

I have a question for the moms that have been through this.

Did you find out your loved ones RE code from them or legal (if you were able to speak with them)?

Did you find out before the actual papers were processed to be separated or after?

What I am trying to find out is if you can find out the RE code and happen to disagree with it and then want to appeal to have it changed before the process is completed.

Thanks Moms and Loved Ones!

My son is being sent home (not sure exactly when) and I have a question.  It might be a silly one but I have to ask.  Since he sent all of his personal belongings home when he arrived at boot camp- clothes, shoes- what is he going to have to wear when he comes home?