Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors

Thank you for the advice AntiM, I have a feeling that I'm going to need all of it I can guess. Subbing and tutoring isn't what I had planned, I really want to teach Kindergarten, but I will take what I can get. I hadn't planned on him being in the Navy, so now all plans are being rethought and evaluated and some things are more important than other. I want to work with kids, teaching Kindergarten is ideal, but I will take what I can get when it comes down to it. Compromise. :)

Kindergarten might not be as hard as a high school position.  The thing with subbing is is gets you noticed by the school staff, so when jobs open, you're already in the system, have your background checks done, and that makes it easier to snag a job.  Don't give up, just use every employment strategy you can.  

I subbed first grade. ONCE. I think that's a lot harder than grades 6 and up!

HAHA! See I am the total opposite! I have heard people say that it takes a very special kind of person to be able to handle K and 1st, and while that may be true, I think that it would be a cakewalk compared to middle school! I would take chaotic snotty 5 year olds over 6th graders any day. I admire the people who can handle middle school a lot!

yea my husband cant either way when they are working on most things. It can pretty much melt into his skin if he does. Which I mean that way it would be a permanent reminder lol! ;) jk! and when he isnt working where he could hurt himself he usually works with stuff with oil and stuff like that so he doesnt want it to slip off. My friends husband's slipped off and fell overboard one underway.

As far as teaching and subbing goes - if you end up overseas and you sub for Dodea, the pay isn't too bad.  Right now, they pay $100 a day for their subs.

What is Dodea?

Dodea is the Department of Defense Education Activity.  Basically, it's the US school district that they have on overseas bases for military kids / kids of government employees to attend.  I don't know if they have them Stateside or not.  For a long time, they did, then they got rid of them, and kids went to local schools, but I think they're at least bringing them back in areas where the schools are below certain standards. 

It counts as a US school, they get to take "regular" classes as if they were in a school back in the States, etc, and they graduate, take SAT's, and can go off to college just like if they had gone to a school back Stateside.  They have US teachers that are hired / contracted to live overseas and teach.  They also do what's called "spousal hires", where you aren't transferred / sent here on Dodea's dime to teach, but while you're here as a military spouse, you can be hired as a teacher (or an aide, or sub, or to work in the office, or whatever).

The good thing about them is most of the time, depending on the base you're at, the class sizes are relatively small (especially for the older grade levels - for example, there's 5 kids in my daughter's AP Calc. class...). 

All of Dodea, world wide, is part of one district, so teachers who are contracted can put in to transfer from, say, here in Japan to, say, Germany.  (They may or may not get approved though.) 

They do break them down into regions and districts, like the school our son graduated from and our daughter attends is part of Dodea Far East, Japan District.  (Far East also includes Guam and Korea).  Then there's Dodea Europe... 

They can really be a good thing, with the best of both worlds - the kids get a US education, with small class sizes, but they still get to travel with their military families and also with their schools.  In fact, just a few weeks from now, I'm going as a chaperon to Korea with my daughter and some other students as they participate in Far East Band. 

It's really something to look into if you're married to a Sailor and you're a teacher :-)  

sorry, that should say at least thinking about bringing them back in areas where the schools are below standards.

Here's a link to the Dodea webpage, and also another one to the Far East Japan page, if you're interested in seeing more about them. 

http://www.dodea.edu/home/

http://www.pac.dodea.edu/index.html

And they do give spouse preference if you are as qualified as other candidates. Saves the government a ton of money, because you're already there.

Family member applicants receive preference in employment. A family member is a spouse or unmarried child (under 23 years of age) of a member of a uniformed service, a Federal civilian employee, or a non-appropriated fund employee officially assigned to an overseas area. This preference is afforded only in the commuting area of the sponsor's duty station, and does not apply to family members of retired sponsors or U.S. employees of private firms. This preference does not assure selection over non-family members who are otherwise better qualified. Candidates claiming family member preference must include a copy of the sponsor's orders with their applications.

WOW! Y'all are amazing! And, sailorwifenmom, my sister is currently studying abroad in her second semester in Japan (completely non-military related). She is a Japanese major and is wanting to either teach Japanese in America or English in Japan. I hear that it is beautiful there!

Thank you both for all of the information! That is definitely something that I may end up needing to look into. :) 

Can, do you mean San Diego, CA or San Antonio, TX?

Sorry, i meant San Antonio, TX

Anybody moving to San Antonio, TX?(A school) 

Wow! Thanks to all of you for posting information about Dodea (which I had never heard of). My boyfriend and I are in the early stages of our relationship (9 months) and we have talked about a very very long future together. He's only in boot camp right now while I am in school studying Biology Education. This makes me feel hopeful that if we get married and are stations overseas in the future that I will have a slight advantage of getting a job as a teacher.

You have it correct, although the uniforms don't come out of base pay.  The Navy puts in an allowance and take it back out at the same time.  They do pay for toiletries, underwear, running shoes and so on.  BAH can take a couple pay cycles to kick in, so you won't see it first check (usually).  Separation pay kicks in after 30 days, then shows up the pay cycle after that.

If they are going in as an E-2 or E-3 by contract, then they are still paid as an E-1 during boot camp, but will get back pay after graduation. Other discussions say they got paid for whatever paygrade they contracted for the whole time.  I'm still looking for the actual regulation, I've only found this in discussions so far. I'd count on E-1, anything else will be gravy.

Basically, have a month of money, or find a way to defer your bills for a bit.  

i was of the understanding that when they are in boot camp they are all e-1's. my husband's contract had him an automatic e-3 after boot camp as well, and he did get back pay.

They are all treated as E-1s in boot camp, that's for sure.  The pay thing... I am trying to find the actual regulation.  The problem is, things can change in the Navy overnight, and what was valid info one week could have changed the next.   Pay in boot camp is in flux anyway, with allowances catching up, and the incidentals being deducted.   It makes everyone crazy.  

Good to know, then.  They're paid by their contracted paygrade.  I do know they can advance to E-2 if they're an E-1 and do the work (pretty easy).  The pay wouldn't catch up right away, that could be one confusing factor.  Also, no one gets to wear their paygrade stripes until graduation.  

Hooray for 2500 members in this group!!! :)

sea sick -  that's really cool about your sister.  We like it here, though I admit we're ready to PCS lol.

Sea Sick and Samantha - I'm glad the info about dodea was a help to you both - it really is something to look into :-)

Thank you all for the information on pay durring boot camp. I'll plan for the lowest amount possible and if we get more, then it'll be a bonus :) I appreciate all of help.  This room has a great response time.

Can anyone give me advice for a wedding? I kind of wanted my family there but It seems that's not what everyone does. Like a lot of you, I plan on getting married after A school. Anyone going through the same? My babe is going to be in Great Lakes for A school.

What type of wedding advice?   Other than don't put down non-refundable deposits, be flexible, and my personal favorite, so it as cheap as you can because you're going to need that money for other stuff like furnishing a new apartment and moving.... I'm sure the ladies here have plenty of experience/advice.  I got married in Vegas, don't ask me.   I'm too practical.

You do realize after A school means different outcomes on orders than during A school?  As in, you will end up paying for your own move, and if he goes overseas, you are not going too until/unless he is an E-4.  Even then you need command sponsorship.  He may not be aware of those requirements, so be sure he understands why so many couples marry during training at the courthouse.

Katrina - I think that I am in a similar situation.  what i am wondering is can you wait until after A school before he reports to his first duty station to get married?  that way you can do it at home while he is on leave.  Can his orders be amended if it is done prior to reporting to his base?  Maybe they won't move me but I am working so I couldn't go right away anyway.  What do they actually tell the sailors about marriage because my SA thinks that they will work with him?  My bf is in MS and the school is self-paced and a ticket there is expensive. 

heathee 12 as far as I know orders will not be amended if the sailor gets married after the orders are issued. TBH the only plus to having accompanied orders is getting a paid move, WHICH is a BIG plus not to say that it isnt but if you arent planning on them paying for it anyways then that takes care of that. The only other benefit is that when orders are cut they sometimes take into account the fact that they are married and do not give them orders overseas. Even if you arent on the orders you can still move yourself, he can still live with you, you will get benefits. What do you mean what do they tell them? Work with them on what?

The whole thing is that I want to be with him, he's an E3 right now so he couldn't live off base and we were planning a wedding but we have big families so we want tk save to get a nice venue. I figure if I get married in the court house and then have an actual wedding that'll be good.... right? then we would be guaranteed to live together.

once he gets to his command he can live off base no matter what his paygrade is. He just wont get BAH until he is E5 I think. They will still have a barracks room or rack that he has to keep clean and up to par. Many many girls get married at the courthouse and then have a wedding later.

The only way for you to get a paid move is if you get married before he gets his orders issued. That is why most girls get married during A school so that they can be on the orders and get a paid move. So those with a short A school have to rush to get on the orders while those with a longer A school can wait a little bit. Whats his rate (Job)? Waiting two years would be hard but a lot of ladies do it. There is a discussion on the board up there that highlights the benefits and differences between being gf/engaged and married. The Navy doesnt recognize engagements so thats the reason a lot of girls push it through with a JOP wedding.

Miss LaLa,

Yes and no... You don't have to get married right away while they're at A school for the Navy to move you EVER, just if you want to be able to be on their orders and go with them to their first duty station on the Navy's dime (assuming it's not an overseas assignment - but more on that in a minute).

There are many Sailors who don't meet the person they want to marry, or who have met them but for whatever reason have chosen to wait to get married, and do so later, and their families get moved with them just the same as everyone else.

What we're all saying and trying to explain is that basically, ESPECIALLY coming straight out of boot camp and school, is that if your orders are single, unaccompanied - they stay that way.  You pay "out of pocket" to move your spouse out there.  It's very hard (and almost impossible for an A or C school student going to their first duty station) to get those orders changed once those orders are cut. 

If you are married BEFORE they get the orders, then you are "official" and you "exist" as far as the Navy is concerned (fiancees, girlfriends, etc don't count to the Navy - basically, if you don't have that ring, you don't mean a thing as far as they're concerned...).  By being married before the orders, then you have a better chance of getting on the orders and going with your Sailor.

Now, let's say you wait.  His first duty station is on the USS Neverdock (not a real ship, btw), and he has a 3 year assignment.  2 years into it, you get married as you are planning.  YOU will have to pay to move to join him wherever he is, OR, you can stay where you are, and he can do a home of record move and have you join him - BUT, not until he transfers to his NEXT duty station.

Now, something to keep in mind, when I said more about overseas assignments -- whether you are married or not, if your Sailor is going to an overseas duty station and he is NOT an E-4, they will NOT authorize him to take you with him.  The Navy does not move dependents of E-4 and below overseas for lots of various reasons.  (If he makes E-4 while there, then there are ways you can possibly join them, if you all meet the requirements, but no need to try to cross that bridge before you come to it...)

KatrinaB,

Being married increases your odds of being able to be together, and it means that IF he is going somewhere that you are allowed to go, they will pay to move you.  But I would hate for you to rush getting married because you thought it means that you're sure to be together, just to have him get orders overseas.

If he is an E-3 or below, whether he is married or not, if he gets orders overseas, the Navy won't let you go with him.  BUT - if that happens, you will at least get Family Separation Pay...

I'm NOT saying that he's going to get orders overseas, just that this is something that you all need to keep in mind when you're planning your wedding dates and looking at orders to his first duty station, so you don't get disappointed or unpleasantly surprised. 

Thanks for all the help guys. We wanted to get married before he even decided to join the navy. He told me he wanted to like a month into planning it so it was all put on hold. I'm not marrying him for the pay by any means. I also know it'll be tough to move to a different spot and support myself just too be with him, worth it, but hard. Im just thinking since we planned on getting married anyway, we do a JOP so the navy recognizes it and start planning an actual wedding when he knows his orders.

meagan.. just one small detail: all married sailors get BAH regardless of paygrade.  The E-5 pulling BAH thing applies to single sailors, not including training commands.  That is where the confusion comes in, at school commands, the married sailors need permission to live offbase.  In the fleet, married sailors on accompanied orders  always live offbase with their spouses.  (Or in housing, same idea).

Yes, there are geographical bachelors, married guys in the barracks, but those are usually situations like married sailors going to C school, or stationed overseas where the spouse can't follow.

oops yes ma'am! should have made that clear!! :) I def meant that lol!

Anti M. Do you suggest I live off base?

All depends on what you want. Pets too, although rentals can have just as many rules.   Housing often has a wait list, so you may end up renting anyway, and not want to move when housing opens up.  Housing is offbase anyway, most of the time, it is all privatized now.  But if you can get in, it is safe, clean, and you can rely on your military neighbors.  

I got my expected Wednesday letters today . I love hearing from him and it sounds like writting them is a much needed strees reliever for him . DIV 143 seems to be getting a bit stronger and he had passed everything so far . Praying for him tomorrow bc there is a big test and inspection. today is april onle 30 more days to go !!!!!!!

I just discovered something that I think is really neat and wanted to share it with you ladies! My sailor and I were looking for promise rings and couldn't find anything we really liked but I stumbled upon a "Caribbean Hook Ring." They are really neat looking and actually have a perfect story that I will summarize... A young woman living in the Caribbean fell in love with a sailor and they decided to get married. She wanted to get him something that symbolized their love but being on a small island, couldn't find anything. She raided his tackle box and made them each a bracelet out of his fishing gear. The bracelet made was worn with the open hook facing their heart and symbolized that they were "hooked" to each other.

Today they are sold on the islands as both bracelets and rings. Of course you can find them online! I just thought that these pieces of jewelry are a perfect idea for our sailors/ ourselves :)

Japan Japan who wants to go to Japan I DO!!! yay shore duty don't know how i am going to handle him being home for 3 yrs figuring he has been doing sub deployments for the past 6 yrs.. Not sure if we will get Japan figure we would since we are in Guam at the moment haha cheaper to move out stuff there than it would be to move us back stateside :D but eh keep some major fingers crossed for us please... 

Which base in Japan?  I was stationed at Yokosuka for a very long time.  

Don't know yet he shot me an email from the boat asking if i still wanted to go to Japan for shore duty i of course said yes but haven't heard back teehee gotta love boat email i am excited our son is not so keen on the idea because he is really loving Guam. Did you like Japan? I am hearing mixed feelings some hate and some loved, seems the same when we got orders to Guam the some who hated Guam had no kids and were young the one's who loved Guam had kids and were a little bit older. We love Guam :) trying to decide if we do move out there if we are going to live on base or off base and our cars we have 2 here in Guam and 1 back stateside i really do not want to sell my car and my hubs is attached to all of his cars. would we have to sell our cars?

Hi ladies. 

So i'm finding that i have lots of questions lately and if any of you could be of any assistance i'd greatly appreciate it. lol

My husband is currently deployed (aboard the USS VIcksburg) and he's undesignated as far as rate goes. I believe he has to choose his final rate before this deployment is up and i'm just curious how all of that will work when he gets back. 

I'm bak in our home state (in NE) and have not yet ever moved to FL where he's stationed originally and the plan was/is for me to move down there after this deployment. However, I was thinking about it yesterday and won't he have to go to A school somewhere again for his newly chosen rate? 

And to make things a little stickier, the Vicksburg is on it's final deployment and will be decomm'ed around march of next year. How does that work? That means there's a good chance he could be relocated after this deployment. But i do know he said he was going to request to stay in FL.

Would they send him to A school right after deployment? And what does that mean for me? Do i stay in NE until A school's up i case he doesn't get Jax again?

I know.. it's a bit of a mess. haha Any info would REALLY help. :)

Thank again!

I adored Japan, I was there a total of 12 years.  Lived offbase the whole time, but I didn't have kids.  I'd suggest base housing if you do.  Schools are top notch.  Lots of activities, there are summer beaches, but not as close or as good as Guam.  

Your cars?  Two of them?  Eh, no, not so much,  You won't need them there very much.  Also, Japan has very strict rules about what vehicles can be brought into the country.  Oh, and parking on base is a nightmare, and parking offbase is downright impossible.  I went everywhere by bike or train/bus, and hubby had a Harley.  Our little house was up a hillside, no street, and the closest parking WAS on base a mile away.  When I say "no street", I don't mean no street parking, I mean, we were on a narrow sidewalk up a set of stairs.  We paid $30 a month to park the motorcycle at the bottom in someone's yard.  On base, each apartment has an assigned parking spot.  Don't know if you can get two or not. That's Yokosuka, Atsugi air base has more room, as does Okinawa.  Sasebo is also quite small, and I think Misawa, though a small base, has more "elbow room".  Since you mentioned subs, I'm thinking Yokosuka because of the subgru there (I worked on their crypto comm gear is why I'm familiar with them).