Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors

yea. He actually skyped me yesterday and said I am really upset my friends didnt email me at all this deployment but when we go home I will make sure to let them know how I feel and we wont be spending a ton of time if any with them. IF we do it will be like us telling all our friends we will be out at whatever bar and they can stop by and say hi if they want.

yea it really does. We are going to take a few days and go see my childhood best friend while we are on leave, and spend more time with his close friend that treats us like family. And spend more us time too!! Which I am super stoked for! We might even get to take a mini honeymoon!!! shhh ;) lol

I have question about what kind of jobs can navy wives have and stuff? I am not there yet but hopefully i will be moving in with my boyfriend in a couple years and something that has been bothering me is what kind of job could i get? do you move around a lot and is it hard finding a job? 

well you can have any job you want. It all depends on how much school you have of course, yea its harder to get a job sometimes, but a lot of places you dont need to tell them you are a spouse, but some places can transfer easily so its not a bad idea to be honest with them. They cant discriminate against you just bc you are a military spouse but they can pick someone they think is better suited for the job that isnt a spouse. Typically you will be somewhere for at least a few years. They typically keep them at one duty station for the lenght of their sea or shore duty or a large majority of it (not always of course!!) There are lots of resources on how to write a good resume! thats a very important thing!! When I moved to WA I had two job possibilities. I got to WA on Saturday, had an interview monday morning and got the job offer later that night. You just have to stay positive, motivated, and open minded! sometimes you are going to have to get your foot in the door first!

Fleet and Family Services offer courses in pre-employment such as interviewing and writing resumes.  Some jobs do offer spouse preference, but those tend to be government jobs with specific qualifications.  

oh wow thank you! I am about to get my BA in communications and that's just one thing that I am worried about is finding a job... but i guess just being proactive about it and make a mean resume it will be okay. 

Oh Anti M that made me remember! there is a new initiative to hire military spouses and a lot of companies have actually vowed to hire more spouses and they list all their jobs! Let me find the link!!

I hope this link works!! but if not you can google the Military Spouse Employment Partnership Program

https://msepjobs.militaryonesource.mil/

My experience has been that it depends on the type of job you want to get and where you are stationed.  We were stationed overseas and I worked at the rec center.  I was completely underemployed but it was a fun job and completely different than what I had done in the civilian world.  But jobs at these locations can be difficult to get especially if the base is small - mainly because they just don't have too many jobs to begin with.  

If a duty station is stateside and near a fairly large city jobs can be plentiful but  if the location is remote or small, it may be more difficult.  This last duty station, I was unable to find a job in my career field (local government) but did manage to find a job that is a great fit.  

I would take advantage of the Fleet and Family Services classes, especially if you would like a job with DOD.  They have great federal resume writing classes.  

Also remember, if you already hold certifications in your career field, these may or may not transfer to your new state.  

And one last thing...I have always been able to find a job at all our duty stations but I have always made considerably less than what I was used to making which I think is an issue for military spouses.  They idea is to stay flexible, be persistent, and play up the advantages of being a Navy Wife:  which is that we ARE flexible, we can get along with people from different backgrounds, like our husbands, we are great under pressure. 

and also the base jobs that have spousal preference you can find on the base website and also usajobs.gov has federal jobs for the areas too!

Well to my understanding, it seems there are a lot of jobs that we can get..

I'm not really partial to anything specifically, I just want something that would be easy to move around..and is good at occupying my time while my Sailor is away.

So, I guess my question is.. What job would be best?

Any suggestions would be great, and what I would need to do to prepare and apply for that job.

Well thats going to be up to you. What do you want to do with your life? do you want to one day become a nurse? Then get a job in the medical field. Want to be a school teacher one day? work at a daycare. I see too often that wives just simply find a job doing something they hate instead of finding something they actually enjoy! Find something that you can get up and go to work everyday and actually enjoy being there.

Yes you should be able to live on base. The only thing is depending on how long it takes for paperwork to go through and where he is stationed there could be a wait for base housing. I know in some places in Norfolk I have heard of ppl waiting 14 months! but if there are places then you will be able to live there might have some extra paperwork but I know it happens :)

thats good! Yes if you live in base housing you dont see your BAH as far as I know it all goes to the housing. but pays your main bills other than cable. I prefer to live off base sometimes you can get a place for under your BAH with bills included and you can save money. Depending on what you are looking for. My husband and I lived in an apt in WA and we paid rent, bills, and our car payment, car insurance, and cell phone with our BAH. It really helped when we were just starting out and after paying to move me across the country.

Well it looks like for 2012 the BAH for Lemoore is 1008$ so if you find an apt that is in an area you like, that has the space you want, and is under budget then you can def save money! If you are frugal!! You could look online and find some apts in the area and call them and ask them about how much utilities are in their apts and figure out about how much it would cost! Thats what I would suggest!! that way you can figure out if its better to live off or on base. For me its a personal preference I dont want to live on base. I already get enough military in this area as it is. lol My husband wants a break away from it all! lol

Just got engaged! Is it a good idea to get married while he is home for 2weeks and go with him when it's time to leave?

you can just google BAH 2012 and there is a calculator you can enter your zipcode or you can just google "Lemoore BAH 2012" They havent released the 2013 rates yet.

sandm14 Like Kessaris said you will pay out of pocket if you get married after he has orders. but it will depend on your situation as to what will work best for you :)

If he has Navy Federal and has the active duty checking the money goes in their account a few days early. :)

but also if he has some other banks it goes in early as well. My husband uses a local bank back home and we get paid a day earlier than Navy Fed Active Duty does lol. So some other banks get it early too! but sometimes it just shows as a pending deposit a few days before it will actually get in there.

welcome! :)

I changed state residency to my first husband's state (WV) as they do not tax military pay when you're stationed out of state.  I kept it after the divorce.  My current hubby is also from WV, so I kept it longer.  Eventually I switched to California, for the in state tuition break when we were stationed there.  When we moved back to Utah, I switched again.  All legal.
 If you are from a state which has no personal income tax, hang onto that residency.  If you move to a state with a better tax rate, research whether or not it is advantageous to switch.  If it affects your college tuition, choose the one which is best for you.  It is simple to do.  I have had no problem with it at all, not voting or car insurance/registration, nothing.   

Anti M - How does one change their residency?  Is it just getting a new ID/driver's license?  My hubby said that he would not need to get a new DL, even it if expires, but what about me? 

yea Navy Fed has a schedule they post for active duty its showing the 27th for the funds being posted and being available the 28th at midnight.

Each state has its own requirements, so you have to look it up.  Driver's license is one, registering to vote is another.  If you do not want to change residency and need a new DL, contact the DMV in your home state and ask how to get a new license.  

The government can look at your intent on changing residency, so be mindful.  When I switched to WV, I did think we'd move there after the Navy. We came back to the states, to San Diego.   We had good job offers in CA and hubby was about to retire, so I made the change as it was helpful and we thought we were likely staying.  But things changed.  Utah is sticky about non-residents, and this is where we ended up, my original Home of Record, so UT it is.  That's the thing about state residency, your plans can change, and it isn't difficult to make adjustments if you are physically living in a new state.  

 http://usmilitary.about.com/cs/militarylaw1/a/homeofrecord.htm

some states make it tricky not to become a resident in their state! Like in VA if your name is on the title of the car with the service member you have to switch to VA registration within 30 days of moving. When you do that the spouse has another 60 days to change their DL to VA DL and some places wont let you work here without a VA DL. Its so frustrating! We are going back home after this so hopefully I can get through without switching over!

That's good info to know, thanks, Meagan.  I am curious in part because we will still own a house here (Rockford, IL) and I would like to be able to vote in our local elections that will affect things like property taxes and such.  I'll have to make a stop at the elections board... 

Hey girls, sorry if this question has been answered alot. I looked to see but could not find anything. I am getting married to my sailor next weekend. He is in A-school right now, he put all the necessary stuff in and everything is a "go" I was just wondering how soon after we get married he will receive a different BAH now that he has a dependent?
Thanks in advance :)

Thanks for the response! Is the BAH going to be calculated for where he is at great lakes?

No, Great Lakes is a training command, he's unaccompanied, so BAH will be based on your zip code.  Once he gets orders, it will change to his first duty station.

HisSeahorse I know. But there are other states that have different laws about stuff too so thats why I was just using my situation as an example! Its always smart to research the state you are in. thats what I was trying to point out.

lol sometimes I feel like VA is a pain in a lot of ways for military lol! but I also think I feel like the area I am in is overcrowded with military. soo many bases!! lol all over!

Once you are married, and he checks into his command, he can get on the housing waiting list.  That is no problem.

I'm pretty sure you have to be there when the unit opens, they really don't like unaccompanied sailors living alone in housing for extended periods of time.  If a unit opens and he doesn't take it, he drops back to the bottom of the list.  

What he needs to do is ask housing when he signs up what the policy is, to see the regulation in writing.

I'll look for it, but not everything is easy to find online.

Found a reference to dependents and housing.  No the Navy regulation, but I am still looking:

http://usmilitary.about.com/cs/joiningup/a/military6_4.htm

As long as you are still married, to give up BAH, you would have to reside in on-base family housing. However, unless your dependents move to your duty location, you are not authorized to reside in on-base family housing, because the rules say to qualify, your dependents must be living with you.

He has to enroll you in DEERS, and at some point he should have taken all your information with him for that to happen.  They do that right away, so you are likely in Tricare (your health plan) already.  His SSN is your insurance number, you can call Tricare and ask if you are enrolled, they will know.  (Tricare is in regions, but if you google their main site, it is easy to use).

To get an ID card, he will send a signed DD1172 (the card itself is a DD1173).  You go to the nearest facility with your ID and SSN, and maybe birth certificate is they're being picky, and they issue the card.  It will act as your medical insurance card also.  You may need to make an appointment to get the ID.  

The housing allowance (BAH) will come later, it can take a few pay cycles to show up.  You will get a lump sum payment from day one, after that, it will show up half in each check each month.  It will be based on your zip code as he is in training.

Ultimately, he has to do all the initial paperwork, so there will be a lot of hurry up and wait.

Do I need to be present for my sailor to enroll me in deers?

No, but it is really helpful. 

I wanted to share this link I saw on Military Spouse Central:

http://www.veteransunited.com/spouse/11-in-uniform-rules-every-mili...

The closer you are to training commands such as Great Lakes, or any type of Fleet Commander/Admiral staff commands, the less the rules can be bent.  Knowing who may be around the corner has a lot to do with it.  

I wasn't present when my husband enrolled me in DEERS. He just needed a copy of our marriage license and a copy of my drivers license SS# and that kind of thing. For TriCare you do have to be there, and obviously to get your ID you have to be there and so does he!

That's not entirely accurate.  New spouses who go to a base with their sailor to get enrolled and ID cards have a different experience than spouse who were married before boot camp.  The sponsor (your SR/sailor) must enroll you in DEERS and add you to the service record, normally the spouse can't do that.  They need the marriage certificate, and copies of your ID/BC/SSN.  Usually Tricare enrollment happens at the same time, unless you're physically on base, then they send you to the Tricare office.  

If your spouse cannot be present for you to get an ID card, you can still get one.  They must send you a signed (and preferably notarized) form DD 1172 which you can take to the nearest military facility (doesn't have to be Navy).  You do need proper ID and SSN, and sometimes a birth certificate (some bases are weird that way).  A power or attorney isn't necessary, but it helps.  

Now and then you find a personnel/ID office which requires more proof of ID than another.  That's when the birth certificate and the POA come in handy.  That's why some spouses find the process simple, but others go through hell to get it done.

That is an accurate recollection of MY experience, but like you said, it is different for every base.

Anyone stationed in Bahrain

Of course, Erin!  Just don't want to freak out the boot camp wives.  They're stressed enough already.

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Thanks so much!

The greatest piece of advice Anti M has ever given me: 

Memorize your husband's social security number. 

Do it, ladies. I have had to have it several times and I've only been married 2 months. 

Thank you, Anti M for all your wonderful advice and help you've given me over the years. :)

Thanks.  Experience is useless if not put to good use.