Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors

Lol that depends on what you think it means lol. But Im hoping that its gorgeous and fits perfectly on my finger, lol ;)

That's exactly what I was thinking, that's so sweet. By the sounds of it though he seems like he'll get you just the perfect and gorgeous thing. 

:) I hope so! We've been talking about it quite awhile. It would be wonderful, a dream come true, but just having him home will already be the best Christmas present ever!

Well if you do get that it'll be two big and special presents, that and him. 

Exactly! I'm already counting the days til Christmas! :)

I haven't started counting just yet, seems to far. Do you know how many days they get off though?

No Im not sure exactly.

Ok. Well there's still plenty of time to figure that out

School stand down is usually ten days to two weeks.  The unofficial dates floating around, but NOT CONFIRMED... Dec 21 to Jan 7 (back on the 6th or 5th).  First day is "lost" because they can't book morning flights... too many student sailors to check out that fast.   Always get back a day early, always.  So Saturday should be a travel day.  The Navy doesn't care about flight delays and it is winter somewhere.

Don't take those dates as set in stone.  The COs of the training commands must release those as confirmed dates and that hasn't happened just yet.

Alright thanks Anti M. Two weeks is a pretty good time, and if that changes then I'm sure I'll hear about it eventually. Just wanted to get an idea of the timing for that.

Are saliors allowed to send money to assist their girlfriends financially with the cost of trasnprtation etc... to their PIR?

I just have to say, I was a Navy Girlfriend/Fiancee for over two years before we got married in May. And holy moley, being a wife is hard work! Taking care of all of his financial stuff and his car and everything is a full time job in itself. Add that on to a part time job and a full time school schedule, and there is no doubt deployment is going to fly by. 

Hey ladies I created a facebook group for navy wives/ spouses. So plz check it out and like it to help fellow navy wives :D

thanks

http://www.facebook.com/proudnavywife2012

You should write it in a letter. Is there any way his family can help you? Would he be able to help you?

Boyfriend left for boot camp Oct 3rd, just got his box today!

For a spouse to move with to A School, what is the number of weeks required? I've read 14 weeks, and 20 weeks. So if his A School is 29 weeks I should be able to go with, correct?

As far as I know its 20 weeks. But I cant be for sure.

Hello all, after graduation my husband my husband is going to Biloxi for A school. I dont know the start date though, and when I got my phone call I was too excited to ask. Does anyone know where I could find that out? Also, I'm reading the comments below about A school and spouses and feeling really frustrated. When my husband enlisted, he/we were told I would be able to move down there with him. I know sometimes people get the wrong information, but not one person we talked to mentioned that I might not be able to since it's only 16 weeks until the day before he left for bootcamp. I have already given notice at my job, and I know that he is expecting me to be there when he gets out, unless someone there has told him. I really dont want to let him know in a letter. :(

Do you know his specific rate (job)?  Then we can look for the group which will have active members who maybe can answer specific questions for Biloxi.  The group I found isn't very active, but there's more than one school there.  If nothing  else, we can research the basic info for that rate.

You can move yourself, but it gets expensive, and it gets complicated if you have to leave anything behind.  But yeah, some recruiters were not married when they went through training, and they don't know the regulations.  Which is ridiculous! 

16 weeks... is that school or does that include boot camp?  I'm a little confused.  

He's going AG, 16 weeks is just A school. And, I guess part of what I'm confused about is not the moving our stuff or me part, but if I moved myself down there, would there be a chance that the navy would help to pay for housing?

The Navy will always provide BAH (housing allowance) for you.  Just how much is the sticky part.  If he isn't authorized to move you, the BAH will be for where you are living now.  You can get it changed to Biloxi, but then you won't be eligible for FSA (family separation pay)  or base housing.   Four months is a very short term lease.   You'll need the deposit too, I'm not certain if the Navy helps with that now.

Also, he may or may not be able to live offbase with you, I don't know that school's policy.  I'm guessing he'd have to do the liberty phases just like all the other schools, and ask permission.

If you move there, and leave all your things behind, then when it does come time to move, either you have to go back on your own dime and be moved from "home" by the Navy, or find a way to move all your things yourself to the first duty station.  The Navy won't move you from one location and your household goods from another.  If you don't have a lot of stuff, that's no big deal.

That 16 weeks is what counts toward the dependent move, but expect it to be a bit longer, he'll be in indoc for a few day or weeks, and should have Christmas leave during the stand down (two weeks or ten days).  

Here is the AG group, mostly moms, but they should be able to help you:

http://www.navyformoms.com/group/aerographersmateagmoms

Is this the normal time for A school? My boyfriends going to be an LS, logistics specialist, and he was told he would be going to A school for only 6 weeks. Is it possible he really is only going to be there 6 weeks? I know someones they have to wait to class up but..yeah

Young & Worried

Hello ladies I am 17 years old and my boyfriend is 18. He's currently in San Antonio doing his A-School, and I do have some concerns and worries. As a teen in a relationship I would just like advice from adults who have more expiernce. I see him hanging with females and I can't help but worry and become jealous. It frightens me becaue we've been together for almost 2 years.

My boyfriend date has been moved from 10/29 to 10/25..... This is getting real.

Ladies - this is a pretty simple concept that you all need to wrap your head around. If you can't trust your man around other women, then you have no business being with him.

This isn't middle school anymore and you're sailor is going to have female friends. So you have two choices, grow up and learn to trust him OR end the relationship.

Because the last thing your sailor needs is you questioning every move he makes. ESPECIALLY when it's usually the Navy wives/girlfriends/fiances that cheat - not the sailors. Put your self in his shoes.

Having been both a female sailor and a Navy wife, I agree with nuclearlove..... your guy will have female friends.  Saying "don't hang out" is futile.  They hang out in groups, and there may be females in that group.  "Oh, I can't go to the movies with you guys because there's a girl with you"... no, that is just immature.  You have to trust your man will respect you, himself, and his shipmates of any gender.  Grow up and deal with the concept.  

A school is an exciting and busy time.  New knowledge, new people, new experiences.  Your guy may truly love you, but be tempted by an exiting new life. If he's going to be true, he's going to be true,  faithful guys don't cheat.  Are some guys cheaters and just don't know it yet? Yes, but you have to trust your sailor.  If your gut says he's cheating, then you have to trust that either he is, or you can't handle the doubts you put in your own head.   Sailors cheat, the loved ones at home cheat.... but more do NOT.  You have to have faith in your relationship, communicate openly, and when the trust runs out.... decide what the both of you want to do.

I COMPLETELY agree with you ladies. My husband just left to boot camp about a week ago (Oct.4) and I will be completely honest we BOTH were scared and had some doubts about what would happen with us, its a natural feeling its a completely new experience and we both didn't know how each of us with handle the long distance and the lack of communication while he's in RTC BUT we believe in our relationship and our love we both but our all into this and we know that this is the best for our future and our family ( we have a baby girl together) and honestly I thought that my biggest problem would be the doubt but that has not even crossed my mind since he left. Our Sailors DO NOT need that right now what they need is our love and support so that they can see that they have a real women who truly cares about them back at home. I was scared of him leaving but now I'm PROUD of what he's doing and I cannot wait to see him. LADIES take that doubt out of your minds its a natural feeling but if your love is strong enough you will realize that he is not there to cheat but to better the BOTH of your lives. 

One on one and offbase = more than friendship.  If guys do find other women interest them, they should let the GF know and man up about their true feelings and actions.  Not fair to her, or to the new female who might not even understand he's in a relationship.   The new one might not even know about the hometown gal.  Sucks for everyone.

I definitely agree with all this great advice. Trust is #1!!

I have a random question. I don't mean to break the conversation, I'm just curious...My recruit was a typical man, rarely super emotional and sappy, and definitely wasn't the kind to write letters. Is boot camp going to change him, and make him miss me to the point of writing letters? I'm reading about all you guys getting loving letters and I'm just like, yeah, my boyfriend doesn't seem like the letter type. Although, he knows I am, and  write him every day. Thanks!

Just wanted to shout out a quick thank you to everybody in this group! I just began posting last night, and I'm already feeling like a part of this. Everyone has been so helpful, and I am deeply appreciative.

Boot camp doesn't change the fundamental person, but it does polish them like a diamond and hidden facets emerge.  

On Sunday afternoons, when the entire division is writing letters all at once, he'll write too.  He'll be lonely and missing you and the only way to tell you is to write.  The letters may not be long or eloquent, but he will write.  

That's good to hear. I am enjoying the letter writing process tons. I do tell him how I feel about him in every letter, and as weird as it sounds, although hes only been gone 2 weeks and hasn't had a chance to write me yet I feel like we're closer already.

For all the rest of you ladies who's men are off to boot camp and are having a hard time, stay positive! It definitely helps the time go by when you can smile on the memories and the future, instead of crying about the present (though a good cry is helpful sometimes :))

Brooke it depends on what he's going for. My boyfriend is going to his A school for only 6 weeks, then to sub school, but some sailors end up going to school for almost a year.

Yes, it is not a federal holiday.  

Hey Everyone my husband left for BC October 4th last week I got his "life in a box" sent home just wondering if anyone has a loved one who has left at that same time & if they've recieved their form letter or any other info yet. Or should it be here soon.

Linsey: Isn't it fun!? I went up to see my boyfriend graduate back in July, and I was overflowing with love and pride:) Now we video chat daily and knowing we made it through that with no problem has made us so much stronger.

Navywife04, my boyfriend left the second, we got his box last week and his formal letter last night

All I know is you need an ID card yourself, you can't use your SR's name to check you in like you can for Navy Lodge.  And once they're in A school they can't even visit you there.  PIR weekend is okay.  

I don't know about the liberty part of it, but my husband and I stayed there for a couple of nights before our son's PIR.  We got there a couple of days early and visited with some friends we hadn't seen in yrs, then we moved to a different hotel off base when my inlaws got there. 

It was very nice, clean, quiet, and reasonably priced.  If he's there for A school, he will not be allowed to visit you there, like Anti M said.  But the Gateway Inn is spread out between a couple of buildings, and one is right by the McDonalds, and the other building is right by the Exchange (with a small food court), so IF / when your Sailor has free time during A school, you could easily walk to either of those places to meet him in a public setting.  They also include a complementary breakfast in the lobby (cereal, hard boiled eggs, yoghurt, that sort of thing) of the main building, and free internet. 

The room prices vary, it's $40 a night for E-3 and below, or a $45 room with a kitchenette in it (what we stayed in).  For the price we paid, in that area especially, it was REALLY nice.  (Frankly, MUCH MUCH better than the hotel we were in once my inlaws got there - the Day's Inn that was about 3 miles up the road was a total roach motel, we could hear people having sex LOUDLY in the room next door, the night before PIR, literally the picture on the wall was thumping, the hall smelled of urine, and even with the discounts, it was a lot more expensive than the room we had at Gateway.)

Anyones sailor in hawaii stationed at the base near pearl harbor? I just found out thats where mine will be stationed and kind of freaking out a bit... just wondering if anyone new what to expect  or cheap ways to get there? we've been dating for almost two years and im in school and am determined to finish and just wondering if anyone is in the same boat? anyway any suggestions or advice would be grrreat! thanks :)