Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors

Netta i am so sorry that your recruiter said that. Most say that to prevent paper work and it makes me so mad cause now it is harder to get married than it would have been. I wish there is some way I could tell everyone before its to late :(. You will now have to wait till your sailor gets to his A school. It is a bit harder but still possible as I just did it. I posted a little bit ago to Ryansgirl80 on some steps to follow. Read those and if you have any questions just let me know.

thank you lovemysailor that is sad to hear. my fiance's a- school will be in great lakes because he is an a-pac. would you happen to know if it would work the same for him? And I may be messaging you later haha thanks

Thanks lovemysailor for all the good advice. It makes me mad too that all the recruiters keep telling couples they cant get married. We were going to get married before basic, we had our marriage license, had a minister that was going to marry us on the following weekend. He told his chief he was getting married and they said you cant that you would get kicked. The funny thing is that his chief told us to get married in chicago after he gradutes. He said thats what everyone does. I just dont know why so many lies.

i am glad to help feel free to message me anytime. I am normally on everyday during the week but not so much on weekends. Netta i am not sure as mine went to San antonio. maybe next time you talk to him have him ask someone there and see what they say. Hope all works out for you both.

OKay... each base does things a little differently, so your sailor MUST ask questions... and ask more than one person, and ask the correct person.

Most of the recruiters went through boot camp  when PIR weekend was ALL weekend, including evenings, and getting married was easier.  Now, they are told not to marry, and if they are a Saturday departure, it is not possible. The only way to get dropped from DEP by marrying is if there are more than two dependents... one spouse and one child.  More than that requires a waiver.  Also, if the spouse is not a citizen, it creates problems with clearances.  

he first step for you ladies who wish to marry is to get all your paperwork lined up, your birth certificates, find your SSN card, be sure your ID is not out of date.  Then look up the county where you wish to marry and find out all the information such as hours and requirements.  Getting married by the base chaplain is often MORE difficult because they are not always available.  Most county clerks have a list of JoPs who can do the ceremony for you.  After you marry, be sure your sailor has a certified copy of the marriage license, and copies of all your ID, SSN, and BC so he can get you added as a dependent right away.

Thanks Anti M yeah they told us he would have to have a waiver but im an american citizen and we have no children.  So i guess they just did not want to do the paper work.

Getting married in A school is a hassle, but you can get it done, just takes time and money to get there.  

I would really suggest just having him ask his superiors what to do... things change so much daily. my husband and I got married right before he left for basic last summer. I just had to give my info to his recruiter so he could send it in. every recruiter is different. a lot of them go off of what their experience was like . also they like to play it safe, they don't want to mess anything up.  that's one thing I learned real quick is everyone's navy experience is completely different. you gotta live and learn. I had so many girls telling me all sorts of things when my husband was in basic.. and about 95% of it was wrong.. and it wasn't like they did it intentionally , it was jus b/c it had been a few years since they had been there.... keep in mind...every division, every school, every barrack, teacher, command, is all different for everyone. there are so many ways to go in the navy it would be rare to find someone who went the exact same route as your fiancé :) it will all work out girl . stay strong

I am so excited for my hub to leave soon but gosh I am really going to miss him a ton! When will I know where to write him? I mean I know he is going to Great Lakes  but how do I address him and all that...hope that even makes since. Thanks in advance!

When you get the form letter

SHAHIDA :
you should get a form letter about 3 weeks after he gets there... that's going off of what typically happens. my husband was on phold for a week soo it took  a little longer for everything to happen for us :)

Hey ladies, has anyone ever used the site themilitaryclub.com to purchase furniture packages? If so are they any good? I'll be moving to Chicago soon to be close to my husband while he's in school but we don't want to use our military movers yet, we rather use them for when we move to our duty station, so we are looking for sites that sell full house furniture packages. We have a one year old and a baby on the way so we are definitely on a tight budget. 

Personally Michelle I wouldn't go for it, sounds horrible for a tight budget. Not to enthusiastic about anywhere that advertises "no need to worry about bad credit!" It usually means they would be cashing in on you any way they can. Considering the terms are somewhere near 36 months (finance charges can range from 900-1100, actually more expensive than a bank loan for the same price of whatever you'd be purchasing.), shipping rates are outrageous, and the so "called" discount price has these loopholes to cheat you out of it. Places like Roomstogo offers free delivery and set up.

I suggest waiting till you move to see if you can find cheap local furniture places. Or just get a personal loan from the bank if you don't mind paying monthly so much. 

I am moving soon as well and we are only taking my bedroom set and my baby's nursery items. I plan on buying a new living room and dining set one at a time, since I rather have a "cushioned" savings account. The way I budgeted we should be fully furnished by December/January and still have an ample amount saved.

Good luck!

You can often buy furniture from other sailors who are transferring, and keep an open mind about thrift shops.  They even have one on base (terrific for extra uniform items for your sailor).

Yeah, thrift shops are funny, you never know if you'll find trash or treasure there.  And no, it definitely does not appeal to everyone.   I just worry about those "clubs".  We have furniture rental places here which just end up soaking their customers.  Scary.  I prefer to acquire things in bits and pieces so I have unique items I enjoy.  I didn't own a couch until I was over 30.  Of course, that could be because I lived in the barracks or in tiny Japanese apartments before then.  Yeah, probably.  

My best furniture was second hand or free.  Oh, I have nice expensive pieces from fancy furniture stores, but the stuff with the most personality came from "Big Trash Day" piles in Japan, or the curb when the neighbors would move out in San Diego.  Someone tossed out a handmade leather chair!  Nothing upholstered though, things like wooden cabinets from Japan, and chests.  Even a cast iron treadle sewing machine.

I did get a couple upholstered chairs from a thrift shop, but I stripped them bare and put on my own stuffing/fabric.  Never trust a curb couch.

I think the most expensive piece if furniture I own is my mattress and box springs.  If you can find a good deal, that's wonderful.  A good mattress is so important.  

Got my husband's for letter today PIR 5/24 Ship 13 DIV 203 yay! 

I agree with getting stuff there at furniture stores or secondhand. There are usually lots of local yardsale sites where you can get stuff. We have bought so many things for our house at yardsales and secondhand. Places that offer deals like that I am very cautious of, especially pointed at military. They like to take advantage of young mil couples especially those in a furniture bind. I would rather sleep on the floor then get taken for all I am worth lol. Also, when its time for the holidays like next big one is Memorial Day right? A lot of furniture stores will have huge discounts and sales. Just find local stores and keep an eye on their sales and snag some good deals. :)

Hey Stephanie - BAS is usually given and automatically taken out at payroll. This is for food services on the ship, so you don't usually see any of it, but it still gets reported to taxes.

I encourage my husband to eat on the ship whenever possible because of this. He hates it! haha.

we get about $300 for BAS and your BAH depends on where you live

http://www.military.com/benefits/military-pay/allowances/basic-allo...

 it is important to note that BAS is not intended to cover the costs of meals for family members.

No, BAS is NOT for families or groceries.  It is intended to provide meals for the service member in lieu of government provided meals in the galley.  I was a sailor, so was Angie, we are not incorrect about this.  

If your sailor lives offbase with you, yes, they should be getting BAS and should follow up if they do not.  But a single sailor living offbase would get exactly the same BAS.  

Because BAS is intended to provide meals for the servicemember, the monthly rate is based on the price of food. Therefore, each year it is readjusted based upon the increase of the price of food as measured by the USDA food cost index.

2013 BAS Rates:

Because service members are assigned to a variety of situations, some of which either mandate or prevent obtaining meals from a government facility. Due to a rise in food prices in 2012, BAS has increased for 2013.

Enlisted: $352.27 a month

Officers: $242.60 a month

*Note: A Discount Meal Rate (DMR) offset applies to all Coast Guard enlisted members assigned to a ship with messing facilities, a Class "A" School, OCS (prior service), a deployed Port Security Unit, and enlisted members E-6 and below stationed ashore who reside in government-owned quarters and are required to eat meals at a government dining facility.

our BAS is included in my husbands pay. and go towards groceries. but once he ships out, it will stop coming and will go towards the food on the ship.  

Thanks for the advice on the furniture ladies! Sorry I wasn't able to respond sooner but I wasn't able to get online until today. My husband also thought that the themilitaryclub.com website sounded a bit fishy. My family here in NYC have actually offered to pass me down some of their things that they wont be using but so far all of the moving companies that I have contacted want to charge a crazy amount of money for such little items. We are literally only taking my daughter's crib, one dresser, a love seat sofa, and a few boxes with our clothing, pots and pans.

Do any of you ladies recommend any moving company at a reasonable price that can go from NYC to Great Lakes, IL? 

@ MIchelle  

Honestly, for what moving companies charge, it is cheaper to either rent a truck  yourself, or purchase what you need there (within reason).  If you can't drive alone, it may even be cheaper to get a family member to drive out with you, then fly back.  

Brit:

stay strong, and write every day. when you get his address you will have a lot of letters to send off and he will be happy to receive them :) idk how you got his return date.....in a couple of weeks you will get his PIR info and that will tell you when he graduates. he shouldn't return home until after A school at least. my husband was on PHOLD days for a  whole week so he was there a week longer than most people.

If their A school is in Great Lakes, they do go check in to the TSC side of the base right away, but have Friday evening, Sat and Sun during the day off.  If their school is somewhere else, they will have Friday afternoon/evening off, then usually fly out on Saturday morning.

Brit yes i think that is what all sailors do... I might be wrong but i have never herd of anyone getting more than a weekend with their family before going to A school.

if he goes to A school at great lakes he will have the weekend with you, but if he goes to A school somewhere else , he will fly out Saturday morning to A school. my husband went to Pensacola for A school. all sailors go to basic right after A school. some may have a few extra days, but that is really rare. and how long A school is really varies on his job and if there is a wait .  

I would just like to make a general statement to everyone here. We are supposed to be a community and a family for support and information. This isn't a forum to prove people wrong or correct them... we should provide information and love to each other.

Thank you.  Providing correct information is very important.  We all realize that situations can have variations and exceptions, and that what is true for one sailor may or may not be true for the next, and that things change... but knowing what is a Navy regulation provides a base for decision making.

Personally, when I provide a correction to information, I am not demeaning or belittling the person who posted something else... it is never about them, or me, it is about the information.  It is support, and done with love.  Explanations, even corrections, are not judgments or attacks.  

We're a Navy family now, that means a lot.  We're aren't all squishy, I'm Crusty.  Just a different communication style, perhaps.

Although I do give smoodgy internet hugs.  

question, my husband has A school at great lakes for 3 weeks and i've been reading he will get the weekend with us? Now my question is I live an 1hr and 45 mins away, so would be be able to come home that weekend? Or is that something I'll have to ask him? Just curious if anyone might know thanks. :) 

Thank you Jmae12

The PIR miles limit is 50 miles, the Great Lakes A school limit is 300 miles.  He won't have overnights on weekends until he achieves phase three liberty, and some of his weekends will be duty weekends.  If he is on night school, that changes his hours slightly.  You can sign him out as a liberty buddy, he needs t ask if a chit is required at this time for  that (it changes now and then).

Here is the liberty phases policy:

https://www.facebook.com/notes/training-support-center-tsc-great-la...

Also, the PIR weekend is daytime only, they have a curfew each night.

Ok that helps a lot thank you guys! 

Navy is full active duty service in the military.  They go to basic training, then A school or other training for their rating, then serve at various duty stations for a specific amount of years.

Navy reserve is "part time" military service.  They go to boot camp, they train  for a rating.  They are treated the same as the active duty recruits/student sailors. Then they return home, and join a reserve unit.  They have training weekends, and train for at least two weeks a year, for a specific  amount of years.  However, if they are needed by the Navy, in case of war for example, they are "called up" and serve as active duty sailors.  Then they would be attached to a ship or command and go where they are told, just like the full active duty sailors.  They must be prepared to go anytime.  

I have no idea what "navy sail" might be, sorry.  ROTC?  Sea cadets? Any clues?

TSC GL Public Affairs Office- I mean this in the most respectful way so please think about what I am pointing out: since you are posting as an official office at a command on NTC I just don't think you should 'get personal' when responding to posts and by that I mean by saying someone needs to "grow thicker skin".  This is in no way support to Ranibaby or anyone else, I am merely pointing out that for more personal posts such as that one perhaps you should have a separate account so that you can post as the author and not a representative of a command as a whole.  It may be intimidating to new wives so I ask that you think of that, again, before you give me any push back as to what I am saying.  More personal posts such as what you provided could be better left to say, Anti M or Angie and even myself as I am prior Navy/now dependent and know a little about it myself.  You are right, we are all fortunate to have those around to provide accurate information so thank you for those individuals.  This is simply an outsiders advice as to the perception of your comments and how it may come across so please do not be offended and I'm sorry if I have.  

Uh-oh! We've been warned. LOL And thank you, some people might think of me as 'soft' or a 'hand-holder' but I think of myself more as a 'lover' ;)  Do not be misled though, I was not like this while enlisted but motherhood seemed to soften my belly as well as my heart!  I leave the tough love stuff to Angie, she's much better at it than I.  It's not her fault though, she wasn't privy enough to be an air dale.  Oh hey there Black Shoe! LOL 

My daddy  was a Brown Shoe back when the airdales actually wore brown shoes, hehe.  But I was a twidget, my shoes as black as my heart.  (That's some old, old Navy there).   

And then my nephew went nuke!

Sphinx, I do like the makeover!