Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones)

Morning everyone!  This Momma’s heart is still aching but the Navy allergies are not continuous this morning. He called me last night after he was finally settled in for ROM. His former roommate from A School is going to go and see him sometime today. He said everyone he has met on base so far have been nice. So his 2 hour call last night settled my mind and helped my heart a little 

I think my mind tends to go to the “Navy is in control now”. Which they are. They make all the decisions for our sailors and SRs. We can advise, suggest and love. But the final decisions are no longer ours. I feel like BC is our slap in the face that we are no longer in control. I am sorry that people can be harsh. Right now what we need is support and understanding. And maybe a little tough love. 

I am taking my feeling sorry for myself self to my corner for Netflix and coffee this morning. I promise to return with a better attitude soon. 

C’sMom: did I miss an update?  Any word on your sailor?  Is he still in holding?  I can’t imagine his frustration!  

Good morning everyone!! 

I forgot about an appt this morning, so I hope to post this but will probably be away and I am still catching up!! - Phoenixmom, I did enjoy decorating the tree, I am gathering you had more messes at your house, and that is frustrating, but I know you are going to sooo enjoy your new kitchen.

We have had some good replies to Mom2blondies, thank you all as I had just gone to bed last night before it posted.

Mom2blondies - Your feelings are real and your emotions are raw right now.  Jenatn - I hope you see this as well.  - 

One thing with social media that I am learning is most people don't really think before they write and even if they do, sometimes our time especially causes us to make quick replies. And those replies can hurt people, it has happened here before. I myself have been offended at how someone responded to a post I made. We are all human and we all deal with separation and grief differently, so we do our best here to walk "with" you through this time, instead of "drag you from leading" - but it is still a challenge. Know though, that this is a  place for you to share your feelings, your hurts, your anger and frustration. We would not be spending our time here, if it wasn't for you all to be reaching out to us asking for guidance through this time. 

Shanny, I like how you said you are learning that the Navy is "in control". I rarely mention it for other reasons, but I chose to start homeschooling some of my children after years of them being in public school, because I didn't want their (school) authority over my children. My sailor is my #4 child and my #1 boy. It was hard letting him go, but I had been blessed with many years of having him at home and I also had some other experience with family, including husband in the military for a time. My perspective is a lot different than many moms. I can be one of those that just says - "They signed a blank check ___" It honestly is why I pay attention to who is going to be my child's commander in chief. Maybe I am too matter of fact at times and I apologize.

We are still Mom, our child will always be our child and there is nothing that will change that. Our heart strings will always be attached, even if the apron strings and umbilical cord are severed. But we are not in control of their lives. My youngest is about to turn 18 - I have already picked up the selective service paper for him from the PO. Once my children turned 18 all the HIPAA laws went into effect - that was a slap in the face for me. Our society as a whole says that we should no longer be their parents and have any control in their lives and the military is no different. 

It is a new normal but getting there can take some time. Grief and loss is a real emotion and yes, anger is part of it. Being able to share about it is important and that is what we are here for. If you feel hurt, or offended by someone's comments or posts, please try to reach out to them first but if you can't feel free to send a note to someone that you feel you can trust and we will help you through it. 

Mom2blondies - Thank you for reminding us "seasoned" moms how important it is to do our best to give facts, but also acknowledge the feelings, hurt and pains of our newest loved ones to Navy life. 

In general your SR is allowed to contact you if there is a change in their training schedule. So if they test positive for COVID, they might call to let you know that and they have been set back for another 2 week ROM, but they won't necessarily call to tell you when they are out of ROM or how they are doing during that time. 

If anything changes with their projected PIR date, they should be able to contact you as well. But further phone calls may or may not happen. 

Chipmunk:. The 18 year old HIPPA thing was so hard for me. Last year, my son had what they called double lung pneumonia. High fever, horrible cough, so weak he could barely lift his head, and an oxygen level at 83%. Took him to the ER and they gave him breathing treatments and got him up to 89%. Sent him home. In the meantime, he turned 18. So I called his doctor when he wasn’t improving to get him an appointment. They wouldn’t let me make the appointment or even speak to me about it because of his age!  The kid was 90% on his breathing after 2 weeks, still had a fever and was weak. But they wouldn’t even let me make his appointment. 

Good morning ladies!  I'm glad you enjoyed the google eyes! Yes, my daughter is very kind and funny. All three of my children are characters and our house is/was always filled with laughter. Northwoodsmom, it brought tears when you said how sad it is to when that joy has left your house as an empty nester.  Hanging on tight to my third!

Mom2blondies: There is nothing harder than the military life and there is nothing more rewarding.  I've been a military mom for over 4 years and a military brat my whole life.  I think being a child of a military man helped me with this process, but it is so hard to be a mother of a person in the military.  If you have never been exposed to the realities of military life it can seem like some strange alien world.

BBH, Shanny, POS, NWM and all the other lovely ladies have great insight.  Your are a Navy mom because your child made a choice and now you have to dig DEEP to accept and support that choice.  I am a firm believer in giving my concerns over to God.  As a mom we must become Warrior Moms...being stronger than you thought possible and braver than you want to be.   You must find a way to steel yourself to the fact you have no say in their lives as they protect our country, as they serve so we can sleep at night as a nation. In our family we always knew it was God, Country and Family with service above self. 

Our children have chosen a path of honor, braveness, selflessness and duty.  We have to gather our inner strength and let them know without a doubt we support their choice. Tell them you pray for their safety and are proud.  You don't want them to worry about you, they must focus on their job. They know you are their north star.  You will worry, it's a dangerous job being in the military but praying has helped me tremendously.  The support and kindness of this group has been a gift, I left other social media groups for OPSEC reasons and because it was stressful how people treated each other.   

Tears come and go, it does get better but it's difficult not to see or hear your child's voice for long periods of time.  I just saw my younger son for the first time in 3 years, he was deployed a lot and then Covid.  I told myself I wouldn't cry and then he was out of the car and hugging me hard. Yep, total puddle. I had 5 days, 5 days of laughing and random tears.  He loves his job, he is well and signing up for another 6 years.  I can be strong. I can be brave.  And now I'll do that for my oldest starting in the Navy.  YOU GOT THIS M2B!  Hooyah Navy!  Hooyah Warrior Moms!

Morning Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father, I praise you for power and glory revealed in the majesty of your creation. I thank you for your work in transforming and recreating me, as well. Please continue your transforming work in me. Make me what you want me to be. In Jesus' name. Amen

Lovely prayer Phoenixmom!  Have a blessed day ladies!

PIR January 2021  

Thank You WarriorProtector!

Good morning everyone, I hope this new day brings some measure of joy.

Party, I actually feel okay this morning.  We got snow, and a kind internet stranger in a regional group I am in came and shoveled for me.  She will come over for the next storm too, but I have to teach her more about moving snow around. She moved here from Florida, so she's not winterized yet.  LOL, and here I am, essentially a Californian...

My niece brought me some orange chicken from Winco and an Amazon gift card.  Whoo, there's my Yule festivities right there.  

warriorprotector-Well said 

AnitM-So glad you are feeling better and thankful for the kind stranger.  

I hope you wonderful moms have a nice day! 

Phoenixmom- Thank you for our prayer. Amen!!

Whoo hoo on getting a check back that is always good news.

warriorprotector- Tell your son thank him for his service. That is exactly how my hug was when I first saw mine. It had been a year since I had seen him. I will always cherish that memory. And those words I've missed you. Ah what it does to our momma hearts. Thank you for sharing and posting your insight on this area as well. I have my moments as my Sailor is my baby but I am getting better with it and I am thankful for that. I'm sure he is to. Lol

Anti M- Yay that is great news. That's funny about your winterized story. Lol You can help her as well.

Love me some orange chicken. Enjoy!!!

DoriBry- Good Morning,

You have a great day as well!!!

Good Morning Anti M so glad that you are up and about feeling better. It's been pretty chilly here in Phx. But I love it!

PartyofSeven hope you are enjoying your time! Right! a Little money back is good to me!

Good morning Ladies!!! 

My morning therapy while I wait.

Enjoy the day!

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Phoenixmom- Yes I am!! He went out with his friends last night and had a good time. He seems to finally be settling down which is good.  :)

Yes mam it is. We got our Xmas bonus on Tuesday. I was happy and pleased as I never expect it. It's always a good blessing when that happens.

Shortcake- Good Morning. Hoping you receive a call today.

Phoenixmom- That's funny!! You made me laugh at that one. I always say pick one when talking about my kids. Lol

We had one too. Yes it is a good stress relief. Lol

I wish they did to. I know raises come slowly at times don't they. lol

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers!

Phoenixmom - I work out with a personal trainer once a week (now through a zoom call because of COVID), he used to be a boxer.  I was a figure skater (on roller skates lol) growing up.  He recommended I try boxing because of my posture, balance, fluid movement, and possibly my red headedness lol.  I took to boxing very quick.  I love it.  I have gotten away from the healthy lifestyle choices I was accustomed to, but I am trying to get back there.  Today was the first day I really felt up to doing a full work out.

Partyofseven - I am so happy for you for the time you get with your Sailor.  Boots in the house!  Congrats on the Christmas bonus!  Those are always wonderful, but especially around this time of year when cash seems to flow heavily.

AntiM - That was so nice of someone to shovel your snow! My husband and I have talked about moving out of California now that we are empty nesters, but we inevitably know that means snow; which neither of us is accustomed to.

Shanny - HIPAA compliance is a hard one when it comes to our kids.  I was on the other side of the fence for 15 years having worked in healthcare.  We had so many calls from worried parents, but unless we had consent on file, our hands were tied. It's not easy hearing the concern and worry in a parent's voice and not being able to help.  As a parent myself, it was often heart breaking. Although, not making an appointment is a new one to me.  A parent could call in and make an appointment, but we would have to follow up with the patient directly. I would recommend The 100 Foot Journey on Netflix.  I really enjoyed that movie.  Big hugs!

Well, I'm on a cleaning mission, so I'll sign off for now.  Have a wonderful day ladies! 

AntiM - Glad to hear you are doing better today. I had to laugh at your comment though about your FL friend shoveling snow for you! I also liked your Mr. & Mrs. Claus picture!

Shanny - Not being able to make an appointment for your 18 yr old is a new one on me as well. But yes, it stings!!

Good to hear from everyone else, I got home from my appt and need to get back at my tasks!! We have snow coming down again!! :-)

shortcake:  I think that is what irritates me...  I wasn’t even talking to the phone nurse. I literally called the appointment line. He was 3 weeks into double lung pneumonia and not getting any better. And they wouldn’t even let me make the appointment.  Ended up back at the ER with him and them saying he had a very “abnormal case of pneumonia”. Second round of antibiotics and breathing treatments. His fever finally broke while we were in the ER. And he was kind enough to share whatever it was with me. I was sick for 6 weeks, given an antibiotic we found out I was allergic to when my tongue started swelling and I couldn’t swallow. My diagnosis was also double lung pneumonia. 

I am having a hard time finding something I want to watch on Netflix lately. I don’t know if it’s my moods but nothing ever seems what I want. I have started like 5 different shows today but nothing seems...  right.  So I am watching Virgin River again. 

maybe I should take up boxing. It may relieve this need to punch someone in the face every now and then ;) 

Anti M:  I’d come over with the snow blower and help if I were closer!  I’ve been doing ours for years. My son only liked doing it when there was enough to get the 4wheeler out with the plow on it.  And he would only do it late in the day.   M glad you have help!  Snow is so pretty to look at but a pain to move!

partyofseven:. I hope you are having a great time with your sailor!  

still waiting to get a text or something this morning. I know he said he had paperwork to do this morning. This mama is impatient now that he can see his new base in the daylight!  I feel much better after talking to him

and just as I hit send my phone rang!  A girl my son knows contacted him and asked him questions about the Navy and asked him to put her in contact with a recruiter he knows personally. So he called the recruiter he had right before he left. (His went back to the fleet before he left)  the recruiter called her and she signed today. The recruiter got permission to sign the papers for him to get 5 days credit on his leave since he did the work to get her in and COVID wouldn't allow him to do visits while he was home

PhoenixMom:  hope all is well!  Thinking of you and wishing you a great rest of your day!

Shortcake- Thank you and I know I was very surprised to have gotten it.  :)

Phoenximom- Prayers for you as you go for your checkup. Have a great rest of the day. I love that you guys are into boxing. That's pretty neat!!

Shanny- Yay for phone calls.  :)

Shanny-On netflix there is a new movie out called "Hillbilly Elegy" and it is very good.  Just a recommendation.  

Thank you ladies for the words of encouragement (and reality)! Those comments I saw just really hit a raw nerve for me, knowing how scared those parents must be, wanting to frantically rush to their sick/injured child and being told to just suck it up because they don't belong to them anymore.

We too went through infertility that was actually unsuccessful and months into exploring other options I became pregnant with my oldest. After that we figured if it happened again we would be beyond blessed and while we thought it might take years, if ever, to have another, we started trying and it happened much faster than we anticipated making my boys just 19 months apart. 

My SR and I had many long, emotional discussions about him joining for about a year prior. I was not at all supportive of it in the beginning (I'm not proud of this and apologized to him) and just couldn't understand why he would want to. He had accomplished so much and had worked so hard and was a couple years into a successful career at an age that is unheard of. It was also a dangerous career but my mind had already processed those dangers and I knew how passionate he was about it and supported him wholeheartedly. This change of gears was not easy for me and he was so patient and over the course of a year started educating me on what he wanted to do and explaining why made me see that this was HIS life, HIS decision, HIS path and one night I just broke down in tears and told him, "I'm so sorry I didn't support you from the start. I never want to be the reason you do not follow a dream. If you need to do this, you do it and don't worry about me. My feelings are not your responsibility or burden to bear and I will be ok." I think that is what he needed to hear because the next week he started the process. I also thanked him for not just enlisting without telling me because he totally could have. He just chuckled and said, "I thought about it." 

It feels impossible to think about going months and even years without seeing his face. How??? How can I survive that? No clue right now but I will, I do know that. 

Shanny, I've been doing the same Netflix thing!! I've started several things and get annoyed and start something else. I just finished Virgin River, hoping for another season! Hillbilly Elegy was a good recommendation from DoriBry. 2 nights ago I landed on The Queen's Gambit and have really been enjoying that. It is nothing like I thought it would be. 

DorIBry:. I really liked Hillbilly Elegy!!!  

mom2blondies:  I started watching the Queens Gambit and forgot about it!!  I’m going to get back to that one!  I was enjoying it!  This is my second time watching Virgin River. I felt like I rushed through Season 2 as soon as it came out!  Watched Cobra Kai last night.  I watched Manhunt: Dangerous Games about the Olympics bomber in Atlanta. That was really good. I was so clueless on how Richard Jewel was railroaded.  I may try Manhunt:Unabomber next. 

BelovedbyHim:  I have always appreciated your help and honesty and a kick on the pants when I have needed it!  For whatever it’s worth. I hope the rest of your day is amazing!  

Shanny and mom2blondies-I keep hearing about the Queens Gambit so will give it a try.  With Netflix I spend more time searching than watching.    

Hello ladies, busy day at work but I also wanted to stop in and say hello! 

Shortcake ~ I love that you’re working out to stay sane right now! :) that’s a great idea! The whole week I was waiting for my call I kept saying - here we go! 

Northwoodsmom and belovedbyhim ~ thank you so much for your words wisdom. We all appreciate your insight into this life. How do I gently pass this along to my sons fiancé... 

Shanny ~ Hey Mama, I sent you a PM. AnyWho the show The Ranch it’s a bit crass but it is hysterical and there’s a bit of drama. If you liked the cast of That 70 Show then you might like this. Hey! I saw that your son got a five day leave bonus! How rewarding! 

I definitely want to check out the show Hillbilly Elegy! 

mom2blondies ~ hello! I’m right there with you. My mouth dropped open when I read that warrior hadn’t seen her youngest for three years. Breeeeathe. We’ll all continue to cheer from the sidelines! RA RA HOOYAH! 

Hope everyone has a wonderful day and a nice evening! 

Prayers for all of you traveling as well as your loved ones. May God keep you in His protective arms.

DoriBry- About Netflix that what I do to. I get frustrated cause I don't really know what to watch. Lol

Hope your having a good day.

I have a Sailor!!! Check in with you ladies tomorrow!!! He sounded so good and we laughed and laughed.  This mama can finally breath a bit!

Shortcake-YAY!!!!  Congratulations to your new Sailor.  I am so happy for you.

Shortcake ~ CONGRATULATIONS TO YOUR SAILIR AND YOUR FAMILY!!! BRAVO ZULU!! Enjoy your celebrations!!  

Oh Shortcake that is amazing!! Congrats to him!! 

Belovedbyhim ~ thank you so much for the advice. You are 100% right on all accounts! Marriage does take a lot of work and I absolutely agree with reading books on communication and respect. My husband and I read Men are from Mars Women are from Venus when we were dating. We have a couple copies and will be passing them along to our son as well. Another book that our family has red is the color code by Dr. Taylor Hartman. I highly recommend that to everyone, whether they’re single or married. I definitely worry about my future daughter-in-law And how she will be able to cope with him being gone at times. Luckily this was his plan even before they started dating so she knew what she was getting herself into “roughly”. I’m glad that she is working and going to school to keep busy at this time. I also told my son that of course I was a bit immature as we all were at their age and you grow with time. Luckily he is very levelheaded and doesn’t really beat around the bush. He says he totally knows when to pick and choose his battles and when to give information and when it isn’t necessary and how it can cause problems. I also told my son that of course I was a bit immature when I was their age and you grow with time and so will she. Luckily he is very levelheaded and knows when to pick and choose his battles and when to give information and when it isn’t necessary. He’s a wise soul. I’m so proud of him! Thanks again!