Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones)

@Phoneixmom was his whole contract 5 years or does he have some reserve left?

they can call him back because its 8 yrs total but he can do reserves for the rest of the 3 yrs. but right now until then if they call him back, he is home bound

Thank you!  I thought most contracts were a total of 8.  My son is 3 active and 5 reserve (he just graduated and is now in a school).  Congratulations on having your son home!!!

ALLI Congrats to your Son.

My son was stationed on Coronado Island for 4 yrs. and 1 yr. in Bremerton WA. he was on the USS Theodore for all 5 yrs. was on about 4 deployments. of course we all heard about the covid pandemic that was on the carrier. it was a mess

Okay, I hope this is clear enough, I was trying to type while hubby and others were talking!

Inactive Ready Reserves - is what everyone who goes in has to deal with for up to 8 years, unless they reenlist. Typically, people do a 4-year contract and then 4 years IRR. For Nukes their contract is 6 years with an option to do Star-Reenlistment for an additional 4 years. 

It essentially requires an act of Congress officially declaring war to get called back into reserves. If war is declared, then

Active Duty is called up first,

Then the Active Ready Reserves, commonly called reserves who do 1 weekend a month and 15 days a summer (but can vary and get more), they get sent out second. 

Finally, the Inactive Ready Reserves will be called. 

You are obligated for 8 years from your initial signing date (swearing in) to the country, if you are needed, regardless of your contract years or rate. 

For those members who have now attended PIR or have received your "I'm a sailor" call, I would like to encourage you to come join our Beyond BC - Navy For Moms (ning.com).

I do request that if your loved one is still at BC, to wait until after your PIR or sailor call before joining. 

Phoenixmom - Please tell your Bud, Thank you for his service!. I know that you are looking forward to having him back home!

Alli - My son's contract is for 6 years. My DIL's was 4 years and then reenlisted for another 4, so her 8 years were covered and because of her next schooling. She has a different rate than my son does. I also left you a message. 

Qs Momma   My son is also headed to Nuke school - some time after yours - he ships to BC on Monday. Savoring each moment until then. 

Hope you all had a wonderful 4th!  We spent the day on the lake with our kids and my brother who came up to see my son one last time before he ships off to BC. Hard to believe I'll be saying good bye in less than a week. It's starting to hit me pretty hard. Grateful to have found these groups for the support and encouragement and to hear your stories of "survival" and your children's navy journeys.  

(I know it's not Christmas, but I'm sure we could all use a hug anyhow.)

Be sure to join your PIR group.  Here are the links:

PIR SEPTEMBER 2022

PIR AUGUST 2022

PIR JULY 2022

BNMHs to everyone!

(That is Big Navy Mom Hugs!)

I just got linked to my son on Sandboxx! My sisters got a text too. I need to be patient and wait until I get his form letter to write though!!

nursekim - WooHoo!! Yes, unfortunately, without that address from the form letter, there is no guarantee that your Sandboxx letter would actually get delivered to him in his division any faster. But at least you have something that you can feel in control of. 

Speaking of Control - I think one of the hardest things for me as a parent, whether it was with my girls first, or my boys - letting go of being the one somewhat totally in control of their life, the plans for what we were doing as a family, or them individually with activities - learning to let go is hard.

But it wasn't really until I attended PIR and that day did not even go like others had said it would (Which is why I wrote my discussion above about what PIR might look like for those flying out) - that I became much better at learning flexibility. 

SEMPER GUMBY - as we refer to it around here. I had a pastor tell me, you have to learn how to bend, so you don't break. I have definitely learned how to bend in the last 5 years that my son has been in the Navy. In fact, I bend so much that I no longer plan anything until almost the last minute - which doesn't help my oldest daughter who still takes after my A-type personality with lots of planning!!

The funny thing is - my DIL is a sailor as well, but she has not been on the parent side of planning. Only recently though did she find herself in the position of being wife and trying to plan around 2 sailor's leave schedules (one being a ship's schedule also) so they could take a vacation together. Since the end of May, I have spent several phone calls with her, trying to encourage her not to lose hope, as they had to juggle and rearrange things. 

Becoming Navy flexible is a process - give yourself grace and time to grow, just like your loved one is growing into a sailor at BC. 

FYI - If your loved one has left for BC, be sure to change their status on your profile page to notate that. If your loved one has completed PIR and is now a sailor, then rejoice and change their status to Enlisted. 

Some other groups on this site that might be of interest - 

Christian Navy Moms

Moms of Daughters 2

Emptynesters

Blue Star Mothers Group

We just said our goodbyes in the hotel lobby, he leaves for BC in the morning.

We got a phone call from our SR over the weekend!   It had been about 2 1/2 weeks since the I have arrived phone call.  It was soo good to hear his voice.  He assured me that it wasn't that hard and that things were good.  We were able to talk around 40 minutes.  Although, it felt like five.  Can't wait for the next one!

Good Morning Everyone!!

WooHoo! - Phone calls those are the best!! 

Momof1 - It sounds like you received one of the "Still Alive" phone calls. I am glad that he sounded so good and was able to reassure you some. 

For others - Keep in mind that "No News is Good News" always holds - phone calls are privileges, as well as divisions needing to work together so they can be ready to go to the phone banks when a spot is available. Some SRs will have other jobs that do not allow them to make a call with the rest of their division. 

Also, it is not uncommon for that first call around 3 weeks or so to sound very down and for your SR to need some encouragement. 

Cindi@FrostyAcres - I left a msg on your profile page! BNMHs!  

For others with loved ones waiting to head to BC - We did not go to the motel the night before with our son, because MEPS was in our hometown. We were able to attend his swearing in, I don't know if those have opened back up after shutdown, but some places were posting them on their FB page. Just double check, hopefully, the recruiter knows.  After swearing in, my son and the other SRs were transported to the airport. I was told by that driver (seemed like a burley older man who thought mothers coddled their sons that we could not follow), later I found out that what the recruiter had told me might have been a possibility that we could have met him at the airport and before we went through TSA gone to the airline gate and received a gate pass to go through security (with all proper ID), and been able to wait at the gate with him until his flight left. 

I realize that COVID has changed some of the options, but over the last 5 years, there have been times when taking our sailor back to the airport to fly back after leave, we have gone to the airline gate with him. 

TEXAS Moms - Good Morning, I have welcomed a few of you or reached out to you on your profile pages. Be sure to go to your Texas' Moms - Navy For Moms (ning.com) group page and go to the comments area on that group and post a hello. I believe they have a FB page, but I also find it is a great option to meet each other and connect. 

My discussion above - Private Messages - Creating & Sending + OPSEC - explains how to reach out and make friends on this site and how to send private messages as well as what pages or things are more visible on this site and how to make things more private. 

Welcome to new members - Amy and Yeelosub - We are glad you have joined us!! I know there are some other recent new members as well, my apologies for not specifically introducing you here. I just encourage all of you to come say hello, to connect in your PIR groups, but also post here, so we can join in conversation with you! 

Some tidbits on how to connect - if you click on someone's profile picture, it will take you to their profile page where you may read what they post and say a hello there on their page, send a friend request, or message (if friends). 

I do recommend that you all make sure your profile page is set at least to only open to members. If your SR has a very sensitive rate, you might want to consider making your profile page private. (More details in my discussion above.)

We also have several members who are sending off only children to BC. This might be something else you want to share when you post, so that maybe you can connect with others who are doing the same. You are not alone, No One is alone on this group. The more you reach out, the more we will reply. 

Welcome to all our new members! Yes do post in your PIR groups when you get your form letters letting you know the divisions. I also encourage all of you to post here on the Boot Camp page, my PIR group was very small so it was here I received most of the information, encouragement and comfort from the seasoned Moms.

You are all pretty much going through the rollercoaster of emotions, pride, excited, anxiety, fear, anger, sadness and maybe even loneliness. Believe me your not alone many of us have been there , the good news all the compassionate, caring encouraging Moms are only a post away to help you through this period and beyond. You are in great hands, they are how I made it and still are playing a huge part in my journey.

Welcome again, stop in and let us know about your journey so far!

This time last year we were getting ready to drop our son off at the hotel for the night before he flew out.. Me and all of us are with you.. we became empty nesters that night.. feel free to ask away.  

Our son joined during height of COVID, we weren't able to see the swearing in or go to the airport. We were able to have dinner with him the night before and drop him off at the hotel. The Navy took care of him from there. There weren't a lot of options for eating out at that point in our state. I told him I refused to get take out and eat it in our car under a street light in the parking lot. We found that the casino had dine in. Not sure why the rules didn't apply to them, but was sure glad we were able to sit down and have a nice meal to send him off with! Hated dropping him off at the hotel with only $20, a change of socks and a toothbrush. He kept telling me the Navy would give him what he needed. He was right. It was all good from there on out.

Hello!  My youngest daughter arrived at Boot Camp two weeks ago.   I haven't received her letter yet but I think it may still be too early. I am terrified that I will miss her phone call.  Does anyone know if they only call on Sundays or can it be any day/time?

can be anytime but we got the majority on Sunday  from area code 847 which is Waukegan.. just answer them all and keep the ringer up.. I think mine's letter showed up after his first call lol..

Unfortunately I was not able to attend his swearing.  Our MEPS has been closed publicly since COVID.  I didn't even get his picture from DEP.  I did get the notification from Sandboxx today, but not really sure how I am feeling about it.  I have watched the docuseries and trying to ingest all that I can about what he is going through. 

My son is a Nuke and more of an introvert.  I think it will be a good fit.  While I was worried about the fitness testing, my son was more worried about the schooling.  

I am going to read about the letter writing and fun stuff.  I have been writing daily, but it feels like they are just little notes. I wouldn't mind him giving extras to the other that may not have anyone, but I thought that they were not to have any sort of contact with the other SR's.  Or is that just physical contact?  I am already saving boxes for care packages when he gets into school.

I haven't had a breakdown in a couple of days.  The sadness and loneliness come in waves.  Right now I am just trying to find a new normal in my day to day.  TikTok is the devil, but boy does it just help pass the time.  I haven't felt like doing anything that I would normally enjoy.  It has only been a week, but it feels so much longer than that.

@Amy My son left on 6/9 and I got a call from him last Saturday, the 25th, around noon. Definitely keep that ringer on because it can come anytime. 

Good Evening everyone! I am officially home from vacation, so no more long car rides when I can spend lots of time on this site. I am glad to see more of you posting and more of you reaching out to each other. 

It is interesting to hear that calls are coming in on Sunday because "pre Covid" I don't think they did so the SRs did not have to decide between attending chapel and a phone call. But I think they have changed chapel time so not all the divisions go at the same time if they want to. Which means phone call times may have changed as well. 

Amy, my son called on Saturdays. The first one my youngest missed and that was really hard on him. The 2nd one, my son called my phone, I happened to be the one driving home from a swim meet for his brother. I could not get my phone out of my pocket soon enough. I was so upset. But then my husband's phone rang and it connected to the car phone and all of us were able to talk to my son. He said that if we did not answer, he would have just gone down the list and started calling his other siblings (both married) and then his G'ma. 

Hopefully, your daughter will try to call back. If able, we sometimes suggest putting a voicemail on your phone that says you love them and are sorry you missed their call and to call back or call someone else. As tgcunny said, keep the phone loud and close by. I never turn my ringer off anymore - except in a movie or concert and then I text all of my kids. Otherwise, I answer my phone.

JNMnavymomOH - I am sorry that you were not able to attend the swearing in, that is hard and so much has changed in the last couple of years. You joined the Nuke Moms group and there are a few of you close together with a Nuke. Be sure to friend each other, I am still friends with some of my Nuke Moms that went in around the same time. 

Your sailor needs to be able to deal with the physical fitness, (especially the Nukes, my son used to have PT a lot more often than he does now that he is on a ship) but the school is tough with lots of long hours, so it is understandable that is what he is concerned about. 

Staying busy is helpful. I told my son that my summer was probably going to go by faster than his and it continues to be that way. 

Amy - Be sure to join the Moms of Daughters 2 group, I left the link earlier today, I think. 

Moms of Daughters 2 - Navy For Moms (ning.com)

We received the "I am here" phone call last night. And so the countdown starts. I met a wonderful mom at the hotel, we exchanged contact information and talked back and forth as our boys were in the same travel group and they have the same group rating.

Can someone explain what group rating means? Rate? Thank you !

Good morning Ladies, I noticed alot of Nuke Moms so I wanted to chime in to help with the anxieties.  My son was one that did not make it through the Nuke program, not the end of the world. I want to assure you that yes this program is very tough but their commander's and instructors will do everything possible to help them get through it. They don't want them to fail and if they show they are willing to put in the time and effort that their commander's will do whatever it takes to see them succeed. They will also need a very strong support system from home, this is where you will come in. As soon as you get those addresses send out those supportive letters, back their decisions but also let them know that no matter what you have their backs. Recruiters push the Nuclear program but it isn't always the best fit for everyone, just being selected for it is a honor to your recruit, it shows how hard they worked to get that far. However their value is in their character, their desire to serve their country in whatever capacity the Lord chooses for them.

nursekim - I will probably be corrected by one of the "veteran" moms here, I even asked my son the other day - but basically when we are referring to group or rate - in general laymen's terms basically what job will they be doing.  But it is a little more technical than that. For Nukes (since that is what I know best), they go to BC with a Nuke contract. After about 6 weeks in BC they will go to the career counselors and have their "rate" picked for them. For Nukes they head to their A school as either MM, EM, or ET, they do not earn the N after those letters until they have at least completed A school, I think. (Sorry that was almost 5 years ago.). Nuke MMs, EMs, & ETs, are different than just the regular rates with those same letters. My son is now currently an ETN2 - Electronics Technician (Nuclear) Second Class Petty Officer - that is his job title and his pay rank is E5. 

Just to make things even more unclear!! :-) 

Rating and rate tend to be interchanged a lot when people talk or post, which adds to the confusion and I may still not be correct. I tend to think of rating as the job and rate as the Paygrade. 

Here is a link to one of Lemonelephants pages in the upper left - be sure to click view all when reading through those.

E-1, E-2, or E-3? How did that happen?

Also, different jobs will tend to advance faster than others. While Nukes might go in at a high rate to begin with, especially if they have other things that can advance their rate (paygrade) prior to BC, the time it takes for them to advance in paygrade can take a lot longer than for a sailor with a different job.  I say this, because it is easy to want to compare, but that is hard on everyone. Your loved one will have a better understanding of what the advancement rates (%) are for their job, the longer they are in the Navy. 

nursekim, rate is actually your job title. Whatever job your recruit signed a contract for is his rate. Mine is AT, that is his rate. If you Google Navy rate if will explain it and give you examples of several rates. Some Recruits go in without a rate assigned to them, they will eventually receive one. Hope that helps.

Northwoodsmom - Thanks for jumping on! I am going to be very busy now catching back up on the home front after my visit to my sailor and sailor gal. I am so glad things are working out well for your son.

Cindi@FrostyAcres - Now begins what we refer to as "the great silence".  These next 2 - 3 weeks can be some of the hardest withdrawals from communication with our loved one. Our mantra around here is "No News is Good News!" That does not mean don't answer phone calls from unknown numbers still or if your SR calls that it is necessarily bad news. Sometimes they do call because they need more information. I have always answered all of my phone calls, that is how I was raised way before cell phones and answering machines. But I have learned to quickly hang up on the spam calls. I do not recall, but B'sNukeMom posts occasionally, there is a setting on some phones that will block calls and it could actually block a call from your SRs calling card # or GL, so if you have that option, be sure to disable it. My apologies I don't know what it is exactly. 

I encourage everyone - I know this time is tough, we all deal with it differently, but our role has changed from always knowing exactly where our kids are, or what they are doing, to letting go. This time of great silence prepares us and them for duty in the fleet. Especially if they are going Subs.  I was on the phone with my MIL last night and she was sharing when my husband went off to BC, she had to turn her thoughts and feelings of depression or loneliness and her own concerns, towards prayer and thoughts of love and encouragement for her son, my husband. Years later (he was reserves), I was in a similar situation with him going to summer camp and we had a toddler. I started feeling sorry for myself, and just lonely missing him, and my mother, not my MIL, told me the same thing that my MIL shared with me last night that she had to do. 

Our kids are facing something so new and different for them, and we do worry, we get concerned, for me it helped to have a little bit of a timeline (my husband found something online and I did not know about this site until right before PIR). I used that, the RTC Bootcamp website, and encouragement from another lady in our church whose son was currently on active-duty reserves, to help me get through, as well as a lot of prayer. The more I had an idea of what he might be doing, the easier it was for me to focus how to encourage him in letters and pray for him. 

Northwoodsmom - Thanks!

So I got a surprising call from my son last night. He has lost his covid card and needs me to send him a physical copy. It was so great to hear his voice and now I know which division he is in :))

Good Morning and Happy Thursday!

Be sure to join your PIR group.  Here are the links:

PIR SEPTEMBER 2022

PIR AUGUST 2022

PIR JULY 2022

AKA-PJ - be sure to keep a copy of the card before you send it.

Good Morning All, hope this day finds all you New Navy Moms well. Well here is a little joke, I tell you I felt like this many a times, LOL!

AKA-PJ:  do you know where he got his shots?  Call them now and ask if it is possible to get a copy made....  the pharmacy i had mine done at, copied it and gave me a new one when mine accidentally got ripped...  

I'm sure you all know there is much yelling going on in BC, many of you may have heard it over the I'm here call. another little joke.

Ladies you will be fine, the hardest part will be no communication, and that is hard on us Moms as we were always in the Know. Believe me when I say they miss us just as much as we miss them. Letters and encouragement will be the thing to do. send pics of the family of the dog/cat  let them know about their favorite teams and what is happening. I'm sure they would like to know.

I feel like I'm a bootcamp mom again....  2 years in and I'm sitting here jumping every single time my email notification goes off.  My sailor is out and I'm waiting for that email that says hey mom....  and complains about no sleep and long hours. BNMHs I hope you all receive letters/calls today. My mail day was always Wednesday or Thursday 

NHMnavymomOH  We can't go to our son's swearing in either -not for DEP and not before he ships out on Monday the 11th. My son is also a nuke - he's most concerned about life as a nuke (or not having a life) - and his GF ships off a week later and will be a cryptologist. Collectively they are worried about the time apart they will have over these next 6 years. My heart hurts for both of them.  Trying to keep my own sadness at bay until we say goodbye Sunday night at the hotel - don't want my son to carry that with him on top of everything else. My savior so far in these early stages has been these groups here and a few FB groups I joined. So grateful to hear the stories - everyone is in a different place in this journey - I'm learning so much. 

Bootcamp moms--  I just wanted to encourage you all!  It's normal to have ALL the feelings!! When my Sailor left I was a HOT MESS!! He had gone to MEPS a year before and was in DEP his entire Senior Year so it wasn't like I didn't know it was coming but when the time came I just melted down!  I couldn't stop crying when we took him out to dinner the night before.  My DH Found this site and I DEVOURED everything I could find.  The ladies were AMAZING and they were the ones who let me know I could go to MEPS and see him swear in and go to the Airport to wait till he flew out.  They told me what milestones to look for and that NO News was Good news.  They also showed me that it's ok to not be ok with this path your kid has chosen but that WE (parents) Don't get to make the choice.  My DH was Navy when we got married and I understood the lifestyle and the emotions that went with that too and that was part of why I didn't want my kids to serve. 
One day I just needed to get it out!  The KIB (Kid In a Box-- All the stuff they took to BC-- They don't do this anymore) Had arrived but there was no letter, no phone call and no communications.  So I went to his room, put his Senior Picture on his bed and LET IT GO!!! I Yelled, I Cried, I Beat the bed, I Punched the Pillows, I said ugly things and fearful things and Loving things..... What I forgot was to make sure the house was empty... After a while I looked up and my Dear Husband (DH) was standing in the door with our shaking pup... He asked if he needed to call someone to get me some help!  I Burst out laughing!! It was cathartic and I felt a million times better for having said out loud all the things that had been running through my head but my poor husband, pup and youngest were sure I had just had a complete mental break from reality and they were concerned!  If you choose this route (I Do Recommend it!!) Just make sure you warn your loved ones or better still make sure you are alone!
We are 9 years in with at least 3 more to go. He's planning to go career (20 years) so I expect many more years.  It's not always Sunshine and roses.  It was Brutal that his first duty station was overseas but on the positive side it motivated us to go to Italy! He has made stupid choices that had real consequences but he has learned and matured from them. He has cried about being lonely and he has had times when he struggled to make friends but overall the Navy has been good for him and he has finally figured out how to keep those friends even when they are time zones apart.  (Covid was a positive in that respect!)

It's ok to not be sure how you feel right now. Just know that this is a Safe place to express all those feelings whatever they may be!  We will not judge or reject anyone.  We are here to help you navigate the Navy waters!! If you need a safe Harbor we will be that!  IF you need someone to help you chart your course, we are here for that too!  If you are lost in a storm of emotions, We will light your way to calmer waters!! And if you just need an Anchor to hold fast to we are here for that too!!
We haven't lost a mom to Boot Camp yet, we aren't going to start with any of You!!

belovedbyHim .... thank you!! Your post is so encouraging and supportive. I'm sooo grateful the recruiter sent me to this site. It's been such a blessing to find you ladies!!  I'm fighting tears every day - and I can already envision myself just sitting in his room and totally losing it... so good advice to be sure no one is around ;)  

I wish I had been able to hold in my emotions, to be strong like that. I did do better talking with him when I actually left him than I had in the 24 hours previous, but I was still crying. He had tears in his eyes when I left, but I am pretty sure that within a few minutes he was right as rain and not upset at all. 

belovedbyHim, the story that saved me, it's as meaningful to me as it was 2.5 years ago. Ladies, I really thought I lost my mind and was heading for the funny farm until this courageous Mom shared her story. I remember telling my husband " see I am not anymore crazier than the rest of them. Thanks for sharing it again!