Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones)

tammybikerunfaithlove, awesome raw emotional post. Even after over 2 years in I enjoyed reading the true side of Navy Moms experience. I am quite sure this will help someone dealing with uncontrollably emotions. Thanks for sharing!

Mine left 6/30.  I haven't done much except go to work and to the store for food stuffs.  I ventured out yesterday.  My SR had requested that I bring something to PIR so he can take it to A school.  I went looking for a new case for it.  Well.......they had something in stock that my son had been asking for quite some time.  I bought it, no hesitation, no second thoughts.  Then I got it home.  As I was bringing it into the house, I realized he wasn't home to enjoy it, and I don't know when/if ever he will be able to enjoy it.  It was a devastating feeling.  I really thought that I was handling this better, but now I don't think so.  I'm sorry if I seem like always a downer.  I am trying to follow all of your advice to other moms.

JNMnavymomOH --- {{{{{BNMH}}}}}}  I remember coming home from the store with Sailors favorite treat... Only no Sailor to enjoy it. Other's have broken down in the store or church or driving and a song comes on... It's So HARD!!!   Honestly, it never really gets easier, you just get stronger! (but building muscle hurts in the process and this is the same thing!)  He will get to come home eventually and if he cannot enjoy the item at A school, he can enjoy it then. 

Most of the time If your sailor will be in A school over Christmas, they will get to come home for at least some of that time.  The A school Instructors don't want to babysit a bunch of students any more than the Sailors want to be there.  This is the Holiday Stand Down. This leave time can be anywhere from 1-3 weeks.  They are allowed to go in the Hole for this leave only!  (Normally they have to have the leave built up first.)
Deep breaths.  Lets just take today as it is and deal with tomorrow when it comes.  Slow and steady and you'll get through!

JNMnavymomOH - I don't think you are being a downer, I think you are being honest and there is nothing wrong with honesty.  This has been a difficult journey thus far for me as well.  I cry every single day, some days more than others, it seems to be the little things that really get me.  I  just miss my daughter.  I am counting down to PIR.

JMNnavymom:  first of all BNMHs. The first few times I went grocery shopping after mine left, I picked up his favorite drinks and favorite snacks. Stuff I don’t eat or drink. I eventually gave them to my nieces. My son left 2 years ago today for bootcamp. Just saw it in my Facebook memories his ship does a lot of underways. So gone for about two weeks at a time. I start sending emails as soon as I know he has left. He tries to email daily but it’s just one word maybe a sentence. But I still wait all day for the sound of a new email on my phone. The one thing to remember here is you can keep it real. We have all been there or are there now or about to go through it. We understand like no one else in our lives can understand. 

BelovedbyHim:  my current crying song is SOMETHING IN THE ORANGE by Zach Bryan. No idea why. He is/was Navy. He was AO. My son started listening to him when he played in dive bars-he say him in Richmond when he was new to Virginia. This song…. For some reason…. Volume all the way up, singing like a crazy person with tears. Every time. 

Shanny -- I LOVE that you have that way to connect even if the pride sometimes leaks out!!

Good Evening everyone!! 

I had a busy day and tomorrow I won't have access to my computer, so may you all have a wonderful day!!

Thank you!!  I am sure this won't be my last post about my struggles and proud MOMents.  I am thankful for this page and group of moms.  I enjoy reading all the ways to overcome the struggles and emotions.  I hope to someday be a light to other moms as you all are.  

Good evening everyone! Got my form letter yesterday! So excited. The struggle is real at the grocery store! I go to get his fave foods and then think oh yeah I don’t need that! Same thing with having so much less laundry haha I go in his room to see oh yeah there is none. It’s such a hard transition. I’m so thankful for you all here! We are in this together❤️

Just so you all know, we seasoned ones like it when you all post. It gets a little too quiet around here at times. The more you post the more we have something to reply to. 

So, talking about grocery stores - for me it is buying Rotisserie chickens. Yes, the family eats them, but my sailor would clean the carcass of all of the meat. I no longer felt it necessary to boil the bones and get all the meat off. Even after 5 years - I still get sentimental when I buy one. 

Shanny - Wow!! 2 years already. Honestly, after all we went through between Covid and Shock Trials, it seems like it should be longer than that!

CBMom - WooHoo!!! Form letter in hand, addressed letters out in the mailbox or to the PO!!

Tammybikerunfaithlove - I will have to catch up and read your post later tomorrow. It is okay to take a step back, but we are always glad to have you back sharing and posting. 

1Stepforward - I think you pick a good name for yourself!! Also, you and Tammy both have some similarities with your recruits. 

Some of the groups for the rates can seem a little quiet but be sure to actually go post and say hi. Just like here, if no one is posting, we go on with our busy days, but when you post, we do our best to respond as soon as possible. 

Chipmunk, same here with rotisserie chickens but he just always took the legs! JNMnavymomOH, know that you are not alone with these struggles. Whenever I really miss him, I lay down on his bed and think of how much this is a dream for him/what he wants. Still hurts but helps a little. So many different feelings though wrapped up in a ball and they can come any by themselves or a big glob of several together. Support here and focusing on the calendar and what he’s doing has been the best help for me but that by no means means it’s easy. We will get through this together;)

Be sure to join your PIR group.  Here are the links:

PIR SEPTEMBER 2022

PIR AUGUST 2022

Hi Q’s Momma! We use Sandboxx alot and love it. In the letter from you, your SR will get paper to write you back and a prepaid envelope also. Your name and address will already be on it as well, all your SR will have to do is write the letter and pop it in the envelope. Cool that we can track it also! 

Good Evening everyone!! 

I am so glad that some of you got mail and thanks for replying to each other. I did not know about Sandboxx so I don't have any experience with the nitty gritty of how it works, tgcunny, thanks for the info. 

Q's Momma - I am so happy for you!! I was wondering if you had received any mail yet. 

1StepForward - WoW - Six pages!! My son's letters almost all started with "I only have ten minutes to write!" 

CBMom - I am glad that going to his room and laying on his bed brings you some comfort and peace. My mother told me years ago, when my husband was at Reserve Camp, - Keep in mind that you have friends and family around to support you and he has no one and is out working in the heat. - It helped me change my perspective and kept me working more towards thinking about him. 

Thank you Chipmunk for that grounding perspective. Such a good point I read your message to my hubby too. I’m sure it’s tons harder for our SRs.

1StepForward- I’m so jealous! 6 pages! I’m still waiting on our 1st personal letter after the form letter. I hope he writes some detail as he hates to write. And don’t feel bad - I bet none of our kids know how to send mail- they can text like nobody’s business and all can type on computers like the best secretaries in the world but they haven’t done much with letter writing so they don’t remember. At least it’s easy to learn. Mine asked me where things went the day before he left lol. 

Tcgunny- I use Sandboxx too - once a week and I try to keep it vague. I use it mostly to send him Bible verses every day. I hope they are getting through to him. I didn’t like though how it limits  you to only one picture so I contacted them about it. Did you know you can just use a free collage app and send a collage? Total Game Changer!!!

1StepForward-Hahahaha!!! That made me smile thinking of them staying up talking like a big sleepover when they were 12…although they should be sleeping or studying. I’m sad to hear some being pushed back or separated. That’s funny that he’s explaining everything to you; mine will probably do that too!! Yes on the collage! I downloaded “photo collage app” (free) and made one in less than 5 minutes. Uploaded it into my letter-looks fabulous!  5 pics in one. 

Having that same perspective with my son that my mother taught me with my husband, helped me a lot with my BC time. I also did not know about this site, so I was not comparing my experience, or # of letters with anyone else's. My husband found a timeline elsewhere online and that helped me at least feel connected with something my son was doing, until a phone call and I found out the timeline did not match up to his!! LOL

Finding this stie 5 years ago and hanging out with these ladies and hearing their stories, I have learned that we all handle this emotional roller coaster ride differently, but that doesn't make one way right or wrong, it just means we are different, and that is okay. The main thing, is are we learning to move forward, are we learning and growing as well? Are we becoming connected with community and others that understand our situation whether in a local group such as Blue Star Mothers, or online? But then are we also recognizing that we are entering into a new season of our lives and becoming the encourager and not always the provider for our children. 

Ladies -- I am so delighted that you are getting letters!! That's AWESOME.  One small tip I'd like to share, While we may know more than they do, let them tell you! I made the mistake of writing about all that I'd learned and what he would be doing in the upcoming week.  He did say during one phone call that he wondered why he should write when it seemed I already knew more than he did!  He felt that he just didn't have anything to tell me.  (And his time was limited and he was NOT fond of writing at all)  I'm not saying don't share but I am saying you know your SR best, determine what to share or not share of what all you learn.  We have a wealth of Info that they don't and we have each other to ask.  They are limited on talking time!

Chipmunk - Very good point! I always tell myself the main job of raising kids is to teach them to eventually let go and stand/fly on their own. Even though this is so hard it is a rite of passage and a good thing, a thing to celebrate, even though it’s hard to let go of our baby girls/boys. Some kids are completely lost at this time so I’m thankful he’s picking a direction and trying it.

And I totally agree 1StepForward! You said it so eloquently - a guided tour instead of winging it. This is a faster route to flying than most, and I believe a very brave one, but very specific with goals, training, and guidance/supervision ahead. 

Chipmunk - Glad you mentioned BlueStar moms. I joined them before I knew about this and Im so grateful to have both available to me though I haven’t done anything yet with BS. I appreciate your and BelovedbyHim and all the seasoned moms comments so much - and helping us even though you didn’t have this option is so appreciated! I knew a year ago when he signed on I was going to have to find some support - I know no one personally going through this - and I’m so glad it’s out here!

BelovedbyHim - That is a good point about not telling your SR everything you know or have learned. 

CBMom - This site has been around for a while, well before my son went to BC, I just did not know about it. The recruiters only told me about the RTC website and that was my go-to, even as they were revamping the site somewhat. 

I have to admit, I dealt with my son's decision and leaving for BC much differently than most everyone that I meet here, which is why I gratefully appreciate BelovedbyHim, and others that share their experiences with you all as well. 

Haha 1StepForward- Thus Libra agrees!!! 

Good Morning Ladies,

Whoo Hoo I love it when mail comes. Glad to hear that your loved ones are doing well and are adjusting. It does take a bit and as for the divisions getting it together that can take a while to. Before they all learn that hey we need to get along or we will continue to get into trouble!!

1StepForward, CBMom, Q'sMomma that is awesome that you ladies have or are getting letters.

I'm trying to catch up. Lol 

Everything that you ladies were talking about and how you are feeling is so normal. This is a different roller coaster that we are on more than most people experience. I always say if you have to cry then cry, yell what ever you need to do. It really does help. 

And yes they are told in boot camp not to listen to us. I just listen when my son is talking and act like I don't know anything. Lol But then I come and post on here if I have a question about something and you get your answer on here as well. Lol

It's great to see everyone posting and talking. It's good to have support from everyone.

I am doing good, I try to do my home work so on Sunday's I am free. 

thanks for asking about me CBMom- I appreciate it.

God Bless and have a great Sonday ladies!!!

1StepForward - I wanted to comment about div/ship splitting up after BC.  My son only had 3 Nukes in his division; they graduated at Thanksgiving.  Two of them went to GC at the end of November; one got held back because of medical.  They got 2 weeks leave at Christmas, but just before Joseph was supposed to go back to GC, he got Covid.  He was delayed returning 3 days, which meant he didn't class up with his buddy.  The one who got held back finally made it to GC mid-January, which was too late to class up with Joseph.  So the three Nukes ended up being in three different A school classes!  But, they are at GC together and get to see each other during free time.

1StepForward:  the recruits do learn to rely on each other. My son was one of the rule followers because joining has been a lifelong goal. He had always been about having fun before he went in but a hard worker-worked two jobs his Junior and senior years of high school one as a landscaper and one as a sound engineer for a radio station. But he got to BC and wanted to do things right. But also kept his head down and tried to not be noticed too much. He had the added bonus of 2 week quarantine before he could start BC. He made friends while they were quarantined to hotel rooms by yelling back and forth down the hallways. His roommate from quarantine went to to A School In Mississippi. Not sure where he ended up stationed but they still text and talk weekly. His closest friend from BC is now his roommate in an apartment in VA. He has others he still hangs out with that ended up in VA but different bases or different ships. They find their place. And if it’s not in BC, it’s A School. (His a school roommate ended up at the same duty station as him and brought him food when he was quarantined due to COVID exposure). They will find their people. The ones taking is seriously tend to stick together to motivate the ones who aren’t as hardcore. 

Hi all

So glad to hear so many are getting letters! And I'm right there with all of you on the roller coaster ride. There are days I'm fine and then BAM ... I'm missing my boy like crazy. It's been 3 weeks since we said goodbye at the hotel... BUT... we got our first call Saturday night. It was sooo good to hear his voice. Like his first letter (that we got Friday) he was really upbeat - said overall it's about what he expected. He enjoys some parts of it. Said his division gets a lot of IT becuase some are having a hard time doing what they are told, talking too much, difficulty marching...etc.  He doesn't mind the extra working out. And he said he's gained 15 lbs since arriving! (He's 6 feet - went in at 150 so this is good for him - guessing he's gaining some muscle!)   Was just so nice to talk with him. Because of this group, I even had lots to ask him to make sure he shared as much as time would allow. I was amazed we talked for almost 40 minutes!  

I am so excited for all of you!  This is such a hard yet rewarding road to travel for all of you and your recruits. I remember the day I saw I had a letter coming and I went to mailbox 3 times to check. Then I got the letter and opened it really fast and it said, “Not sure if you could read my address. Here it is again”.  Little did he know, I had called his recruiter for help because I couldn’t read his address. The post office had stamped over part of it. And the recruiter had me take a picture of it and text it to him. Then he sat around the office and passed it around to all the other recruiters trying to read it. Then he he called me and said “Ma’am, his handwriting has not improved yet but we all agree it’s ship 10 Division 357. Here is the rest of the address we looked it up for you!”  Sometimes, these little memories are the best!  (I also posted it here and had the mommas trying to read it too. And the Mavy Mom Posse was formed…

“Navy Mom Posse” that was supposed to say

Tammyrunbikelovefaith- 40 min?!!! Woohoo! I hope I get that in a few weeks!

1StepForward -- That's AWESOME!!  One of the perks of 900 Div is you can likely see your SR in the weeks leading up to your PIR week!! (Usually the 2 weeks before but can be more)

Shanny -- And then there are those like my kid!  He was stubborn and more introverted than in school and tended to keep to himself till the last few months of his assignment.  Then he'd open up and make a friend or 5 just in time for them to all leave (Or he'd leave).  He'd try and keep in touch for a bit but then life!  He has finally caught the vision at his last 2 assignments.  He made some good friends at his battalion and they have really kept in touch and then at his current assignment he made some friends right away and has really been happier than he was at his first 3 assignments.  (And he really came to love Italy and CA!)
Navy Mom Posse is always ready and is open to find more lost puppies should the need arise!

tammybikerunfaithlove -- That doesn't really go away.  Sorry.  The good news is MOST of the time you can pick up a phone or send an email and you'll get a reply quicker than BC but there are still times... BAM!  That's where having a group here that you have connected with is helpful (Or on one of the FB Pages...) You can vent and they get it.  Those "See Ya Laters" Just always suck no matter how long it's been!!  A 40 min Phone call is AWESOME!! I'm glad you were able to ask all your questions and get him to share.

WooHoo - Phone calls, Letters!! It is good to read the chatter. I will be busy again tomorrow but feel free to post and someone will share. 

I thought I would post the link to this blog over here, since I noticed one of the BC Moms had "liked" it. There should be a link to it in our Letter writing page up in the upper right (be sure to click all - and check out that information.) But here it is - 

BC letters and questionnaires - Navy For Moms (ning.com)

Be sure to join your PIR group.  Here are the links - I have the October group up now too:

PIR OCTOBER 22

PIR SEPTEMBER 2022

PIR AUGUST 2022

1StepForward - I laughed when I read, "Not sure where he gets his eyes on the prize attitude. Sure didn't show it at home."  That is EXACTLY what I think about my son.  The kid who said, "Mom, why are you on me about my grades?  As long as I get all D's, I will graduate high school." (face palm) is now calling and saying, "Mom, please pray for my test tomorrow.  I want to keep my GPA up."  I'm thinking, "Who is this kid?"  But I'm REALLY happy about the change!  :-)

MomofJoseph - The passing standard I think is a little higher than a D, I believe. Not to mention, if they don't score higher, they might have remediation, and no one really likes extra study time!!

1StepForward:  you can tear a few pages out and put them in with your letters. But be careful with the ink on the pages. Make sure it doesn’t rub off. Don’t send a whole book at once…. As for a pencil, I don’t know how you could send one in a letter without being noticed. He could just use the pen he has for writing letters.