Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones)

Be sure to join your PIR group.  Here are the links:

PIR OCTOBER 22

PIR SEPTEMBER 2022

PIR AUGUST 2022

1stepforward  all I can say is WOW!! That's so impressive! He will clearly go far in his navy career! So cool. 

Chipmunk  - great question! No projects here yet. I have in my amazon cart an anchor that I will purchase eventually.  Silly, I know, but I'm afraid if I buy it too soon, something will go wrong at bootcamp. Clearly I know I'm not that powerful - only God is - but I'm holding off.  

I'm still on cloud 9 since talking with my SR Saturday night. Hope this can hold me for 6 or more weeks - however long before we get the "I'm a sailor" call.   Trying to keep myself focused on my job, on excerise and just managing every day life stuff and not focus on the time between now and PIR. Being connected here and with other military Moms is such a blessing! I was just texting with my friend (Army mom) - she's been such a wonderful support to me. Her son is in Syria. She said she just reached out to see if she could be helpful - but she had no idea that she needed this also - to process some unresolved difficult feelings from when she was in this phase of her kid in bootcamp. Back then she felt so alone and no one got. So it was helpful for her to not only be there for me, but to realize we are all on this crazy rollercoaster ride together. 

Have a blessed week ladies! So grateful for you and for sharing this journey! 

I come back from a long weekend to a letter from my son saying that he and his girlfriend want to get married. They're 19. for the love of all things holy *facepalm*

tgcunny  That is sooo awesome!!! Wow.  Good for him. I hope you get the call soon.  Praying for your son! 

nursekim  ... oh man!  You're not alone ... while my son hasn't been that direct about it, he and his GF (who is a week behind him at RTC right now) have been talking about this - both 18.  I'm like..... ummmm... what's the rush!?!?! Ugh... 

nursekim & tammybikerunfaithlove - I guess I need to get my act together and create the discussion information I have been gleaning from some of the other "seasoned" moms and get it posted. 

Just a quickie - If your kids are both sailors and they get married, especially beforehand, there is no guarantee that they will get stationed together. 

Nursekim - If your son's gf is not going through BC, she needs to have a very clear understanding - harsh reality wake up of what Navy life is like. And more than that, a great support system as well. 

Tammy - I am glad that you have another friend who can be supportive of you, even if her son is a different military branch. I had a couple of those going through BC, and they were my breath of fresh air. 

Just staying busy whether you have a special project or not, is good and healthy. For those of you sending off your only or youngest, this is a good time to develop new habits and expectations as you move into a new season in your life. 

Hi everyone!!! Sorry I have been so quiet on here- I have been reading all the posts just soaking it all in and learning so much as I process the transition for my son. Graduation is coming this month- seem like he’s been gone forever! Tough week here because school is starting at home for his siblings- this will be the first time we are going through ‘first day of school’ without him. Just seems so weird!

Question- does anyone know what ‘pizza night’ is? My son referred to it in his latest letter asking me if I knew what it meant. I think they are worried if it secretly means something bad is coming for them. :(

thanks!!!!

not sure where your recruit is at in BC, meaning week. but after my son finished battlestations, he mentioned pizza. But no guarantee.. they could have it as a reward for doing good, or they got lucky and the galley imploded.. mine said the food was past awful and more than one got food poisoning. they never should have let so many contractors take over jobs in the navy..

LMCinTN - Trey's guess is as good as mine. Sorry!

Be sure to check out the Blue Candle discussion a couple of the ladies have posted their purchases from online in the discussion above. 

Hello, I was looking at some of the site pages and have a question about staying at the Navy Lodge.  The page mentions that all the rooms are non smoking.  Does anyone know if there is an outside smoking area?

LMCinTN - my sailor had pizza the night of BS. Said everybody was happy 'cause the food in the mess was totally lame.

Trey and Ummi - thank you for the pizza info! Nice to know it isn’t something sneaky and awful! :)

Amy - We did not stay at the Navy Lodge, so I do not know for sure, but I suggest you just call them and ask. I know, I called the hotel where we did stay, and they were very gracious answering my questions. 

tammybikerunfaithlove -- For sure, All Military families go through a similar roller coaster.  We may joke about the "Chair Force" or that Marines just keep the beaches of San Diego safe from the fruits and nuts of LA or that all the Army knows how to do is March, Shoot and Digest MRE's... But the honest truth is that they are a Band of Brothers! Both Within their own branch but all Firmly Rooted in the Tree of Liberty!  They all have written that same blank check to this country and should Uncle Sam ask it of them, They will water that Tree with their Life's blood.  (I pray daily that they NOT be asked to make that sacrifice Knowing that some will none the less!)
** See My comments below** and add, if they are both serving they will likely not get stationed together and that can really mess things up for one or both of them!

1stepforward -- That explains so much!! He very well may find boot camp easy by comparison.  Just keep sending them in every letter.  As many as you can fit on a page (Front and back) and he should be good!

nursekim -- AYyyyeeee... KIDS!!! BTW-- I was 19 when I got engaged.  My parents wisely insisted that I live on my own for a year while working, Planning a wedding and going to school.  I did 2 of the 3 really well.  I was just over 3 months shy of my 21st Birthday when we got married!! OH so Young!!!  We Celebrated 34 years this past Spring.  My Advice... Tell them to wait till he's at least an E3. Depending on his Job he may not be given the flexibility to bring his spouse below that rank and they are literally living on less then poverty wages!  My DH was an officer and WE qualified for public assistance!  We would never have taken it because we were able to budget and really watched our spending but those were some tight years for sure!  I was able to find work and we luckily didn't get moved around (all of his service was in San Diego) but if that's not their experience it will be a tough go!  If she is a Go-Getter and is willing to work hard and support him 100000000000000% and they both know that they will have to work hard to protect their marriage and to remain faithful and true to each other then they might have a chance.  However if either of them is unsure.... I'd council waiting a bit longer.  If it really is love it will only grow despite the physical separation.  If not then it was just physical and psychological lust and loneliness and that is not the basis for the strongest of marriages.

LMCinTN -- YES!!! You are finally in your PIR Month!! I'm pretty sure that Pizza is a good thing!! I Know it's not served in the Galley at RTC  so I believe it's the "reward" meal for doing a good job!

Happy Wednesday all!

Ah, mil to mil marriage.  It's beyond tough, although the dual BAH is soooo tempting.  

Be sure to join your PIR group.  Here are the links:

PIR OCTOBER 22

PIR SEPTEMBER 2022

PIR AUGUST 2022

Thanks everyone! Still waiting for the call. Several divisions called yesterday but they have lots of divisions going through.

Belovedbyhim- we sure do get to go to PIR and I CAN'T WAIT!! Since his A school is in Great Lakes we get to have him all weekend. I am so looking forward to that. 

We are in a similar situation also regarding his girlfriend. They have not mentioned marriage but he did say that she plans to move to where he is at so they can be close. They are 18 and I think they are precious together but I don't think they are ready for those big decisions. Then again, I had my fist kiddo at 18 and did just fine and am currently working on my masters degree. It's just scary because the struggle was very real and I hate for them to go through that instead of waiting a bit before they make the leap. 

Tgcunny- So happy for you hoping you get the call soon. Ugh we are week 3 starting today. I can’t wait to be fine with the Great Silence. Past few days have really hit me hard. 

It’s hard to know what to say to these young ins about love and romance. But I like the idea one of you said about waiting to 21-if it’s love it’s love and will get them through. And then 34 years of marriage later they’ll still be happy like BelovedbyHim:) My son asks too and I agree with NurseKim and 1StepForward - it’s hard to not chime in but support them in deciding. Plus if I do make a suggestion, he seems to do the opposite lol. 

CBMom - my son is finishing up week 3 this week (PIR 9/23) though he arrived on 7/11 and wil have been there 4 weeks as of this coming Monday.  I don't like the great silence either - I wish he could/would write more often - but I try to focus on "no news is good news' - still it's a roller coaster ride of emotions. When is your sailor's PIR?

While I aboslutely adore my son's GF (future sailor) - I have tried to warn them just how hard this is going to be on their relationship. I hope they can make it work, and I fully support them in trying - just want them to be realistic - and I want them to wait on the whole marriage thing. I do think they are unrealistic in believing if they get married while in the navy they will have a lot more time together - and I know that's not the case - but of course who is going to believe little old mom over here!?!? LOL 

Tgcunny - keep us posted! 

Tammybikerunfaithlove- thanks! My son is a week after yours -9/30. Did you get a 2nd letter yet and if so when was that? Hoping to get one next week. 

I know it’s so hard asking them to be realistic. You are likely right that they think if they marry they might be able to spend more time together. This letting go and letting them make their own decisions stuff is HARD!!! We don’t want them to suffer any heart break or failure. All we can do is try to advise and support from the sidelines. Just keep telling him you’re here….

CBMom - i got my second letter (first real letter after the form letter) on Friday... and my first real call on Saturday evening. 

Letting go is SUPER HARD!  

Oh good so maybe the week?! ;)

Good Afternoon - Hopeful for all of you to get letters, and phone calls soon!!

So, chiming in on the marriage thing - since I haven't gotten my other discussion created. Here is some basic information to share with your loved ones - Some of this is gleaned from others who I know have had kids go through this and from my own two.

If you have a sailor marrying a non-sailor, then definitely they need to wait like BelovedbyHim till an E3, I think she mentioned. If that sailor, is going through the Nuke Pipeline - school takes all of the time and there is no time left for much else. That said, if the wife can be supportive and understanding of that, and is able to find a job, work on her own schooling, self-education or projects - then if she can be an understanding helpmate, she can actually be a breath of sunshine in their otherwise very demanding schedule. 

Sailor marrying sailor - 

First of all, know there are sailors who have had their gf's drop them if they did not end up qualifying for the rate they initially signed up for. Hopefully, that is not the case, but FYI.

If they are going for the same rate, then most likely they will not be able to serve together in their command and they can be sent to another command in the region which could be a couple of states away. (Sorry, I am not very detailed with this as I don't know the specific terminology.) 

If married and they are different rates and able to still be assigned to the same area, but under a different command, then while one is serving shore duty the other is likely going to be on sea duty. It may be possible that both will do shore duty at the same time, but not necessarily. 

Without giving specifics, I personally know that if one sailor is on sea duty, the other has to be on shore duty, because they do not want two parents out to sea at the same time. But also, there is generally a 3-year shore / sea rotation. So, if a spouse is already assigned to shore duty and the other spouse is on sea duty but reenlists, then they would have to extend their sea duty time, until the one on shore duty was done with their shore duty and they would be swapped, I think. 

Bottom line - Sailors getting married does not guarantee that they will have more time with each other!! 

And for moms / dads, others - FYI - If they are living together and not married, that is not an issue in the eyes of the Navy in most cases, but if they are serving in the same command, especially on the same ship and they get married, then one of them will be assigned elsewhere, two married sailors cannot be out to sea together. (This may not be as hard and fast a rule as it comes across, but it is the more likely scenario). One will have to be either assigned TAD (temporary active duty) elsewhere, which can be a headache in and of itself, or they will be transferred, which like I said early, may mean another base or such. 

Chipmunk thanks for chiming in.  I've copied what you've written to save as a word document for if/when the day comes my SR or his GF bring it up.  

Hello, are the decorative anchors for the room door a Navy Lodge custom or is it OK at the other hotels in the area?  Trying to determine what to do, I love the idea but not sure about the security aspect since most I have seen have the SR name, Div, etc.  Thoughts?

I've stayed 3 times at the sonesta suites es near the base and see decorations on the doors. I know you probably don't want their name on it but I've seen division numbers..

Amy - I would check with the motel. You should be able to call them and ask. Some motels will not let you put anything on the rooms. Years ago, we were at a dance convention and our head instructor wanted to put the names of the kids on their doors so we could find each other, and the motel management said No. We just had little paper cutouts and the doors were not painted as I recall for tape to be an issue. 

Trey shared one hotel that seems to be okay with it, but I would definitely refrain from any last names - and DO NOT post pictures here with the last names, but otherwise, we love to see the ideas. 

Tammybikerunfaithlove - You are welcome!! If you need me to be more specific, I can eventually get you at least a PM written which you can share with your son and his gf.

1StepForward - LOL!!! 

It really just depends on the motel/hotel. But also, it is a PERSEC issue as well, so many families only decorate inside. ME - I just knew that we were not allowed to take anything to PIR, and I never thought about at the motel. My son, is rather a "less fuss, just put money in my bank account," kid. 

Laura - Welcome to the BC Mom and Loved ones group, we are glad you have joined us!!

Amy -- I suggest that you hang the anchor and any other decor on the INSIDE of your room.  Due to OPSEC and PERSEC as well as personal safety it's not a good idea to advertise that 1 your room will be empty on Friday am and 2 that you have a sailor.  There was a post a bit back about local gangs targeting sailors.

1StepForward -- Even that would be up to the Hotel but Inside the Room... What they don't know won't cost you!!

I hadn't even heard of decorating the door and it never even occurred to me to do so.  My sailor would not have been thrilled though.

tgcunny-- YES!!! Oh Dear heart... Enjoy and soak up every second!! I'm Excitedly waiting with you!! Since it's now Thursday I am sure your call is coming soon!!! {{{{Hugs while you wait!}}}}
Share with them about those struggles!! Added to being young and just getting started, He will be gone, depending on his job, maybe gone a LOT.

CBMom  -- We didn't get to 34 years without a LOT of hard work, tears, fights, love and forgiveness!  There is NO promise that there is any one thing that guarantees a long and happy marriage! If they DO decide to get married, ANY OF your kids..., They will need YOUR support.  Be there for them. Support them, DON'T Take sides!! It's easy to believe that your child can do no wrong but really.... You know them!  Don't get involved in their spats beyond encouraging them to work it out together or with a counselor. Remind them to forgive each other for the little things and to avoid temptation AT ALL TIMES!!! When they are apart, hanging with Opposite sex friends is a VERY bad idea!!

Another consideration for you all to share with your young single sailor if they do get married young and it doesn't work she may get part of his pay and if there are children involved, they will get most of his pay.  I always pray for the best but since my DH was an officer he had to council his enlisted (Some were as old as he was) when they were dealing with these issues! It was heartbreaking to hear of the hardships that the sailors faced when the inevitable break up letters and divorce letters started to arrive on every deployment. (I use he and she but it happens in the reverse if the Sailor is female and the spouse is male. (Child support is Expensive!)

Chipmunk--- You are welcome to copy and save any and all of this to add to your blog/post/message.
I hope Anti-M can chime in on this topic a bit more too!

1stepforward  - I was taking a sip of my coffee when I read your comment (for anchors, not marital advice) and almost spit it all over my desk! LOL  Thanks for the chuckle to start my morning. 

Chipmunk - thanks for the offer to put something more specific together. Of course I'd love that - but only if and when you have the time. You are so kind! 

Speaking of relationships - my son's GF sent me a letter - it's arriving today according to informed delivery. Rather excited to hear how she's doing. Wish my son would write more but....  I'll just be patient for now. 

belovedbyHim you are so right about the kind of work it takes to get to 34 years. My hubs and I just hit 23 years and still going strong - but not without a few bumps in the road, especially once we had kids. Even now - as I struggle with letting go of our first born and trusting God's plan for him, and struggle through the roller coaster of physical and emotional changes as I make my way through peri-menopause - I sometimes joke with my husband that it will be a miracle if he stays with me (sometimes I can get so angry for no reason at all or at the littlest thing!).  But our success is built on love, mutual respect and good communication. We married later though - and for both of us, that helped a lot. If we had met when we were in our early 20s, we would've never gotten married - we were soooo different then - which is what we try to explain to our kids. Not that it can't work at that age - clearly it can - just depends on the two people and how they approach it and how much work they put into it. 

Happy Thursday ladies....we are sooo close to the weekend! 

Good morning! My son left for bootcamp Tuesday. Trying to get a rough idea of when he would graduate but not sure if that is even possible to do until he makes it through the P part of bootcamp and then gets assigned a ship. Also, his recruiter tried to tell me Sandboxx was free but everything I've seen shows this is NOT true.

Laura  Welcome!! I'm also another recruit mom (My SR arrived on 7/11 and has a PIR date of 9/23)  And you're right - there's no free version of Sandboxx. Also keep in mind, you might get an address for your SR from there and while it's often accurate, it's not always accurate. So hold off sending your SR any letters until you get the official form letter from him (2 to 3 weeks after his arrival). This group is great for information and lots of support/encouragement!  

Be sure to join your PIR group.  Here are the links:

PIR OCTOBER 22

PIR SEPTEMBER 2022

PIR AUGUST 2022

Hi Laura - the Sandboxx app is definitely not free.  Be sure to read the info I have posted regarding Sandboxx.  Here's the link:

Sandboxx app while in BC

Remember - Sandboxx should only be used while in boot camp.  It is NOT recommended for use after.

And Laura - you're most likely looking at an October PIR.  Be sure to join that group - the link is posted a couple posts below.

tammybikerunfaithlove -- Just a reminder that the NAVY highly frowns on communications between Sailors of the opposite gender unless it's directly related to training.  Relationships can and have gotten SR's into a whole heap of Hot water.  I do believe they are also not permitted to send mail directly to each other. 

Hi Laura -- Deep breath!! It will be ok.  No Sandboxx is NOT Free and if you do choose to use it be sure to use all of it in BC because you DO NOT want to EVER FOR ANY REASON Use it after Bootcamp!
I left you a link on your page to my blog (Or click on my photo and select my blog posts from there)  I Give you a break down of what the weeks should look like.  To figure PIR Count 10 Fridays, Unless you SR leaves on Thursday or Friday -Then it likely will be 11 but may be 10 if they are in a Push Div.  So you are Looking at ~Oct 7.  You won't know that for sure till you get the form letter but that should give you a good guesstimate.
The Day he Left is P-0 or Travel Day.(Tuesday). Wed would have been P-1. Today will be P-2.  Tomorrow P3.  Sat and Sun will be P-hold. Next Tuesday will be P-5. That's the Biggie day!! They have to pass the run this day to move onto training.  If all goes well then Week 1 Training Day 1 (W1TD1) Should be next WED.  This is the day they mail the form letters.  Those can take another 5-10 days to arrive. (the 3 weeks of the "Great Silence")

Regarding the Recruiters.  We tell you not to call them for several reasons.  1-  They are really not supposed to give out that information due to OPSEC. The Navy considers the SR's Adults and will not disclose info without the SR's permission and even then.... 2- They don't always KNOW.  Sandboxx IS Free to the Sailors.  They don't know that you paid for the postage to get the letter back so they think it's free!! They also may not know what DIV your SR is in.  Stuff happens in those first few weeks that can cause a change in DIV for many reasons.  3- Their job is done!  They are there to sell the Navy to young people.  While I don't fault them they are Salesmen (And women) first and foremost.  for many of them, once your Child leaves MEPS to go to RTC, The are done and moving on to the next future Recruit. There are AMAZING Recruiters who will keep in touch and check in on the family but they are few and far between.  Just know that it's not personal but it's the Nature of the Job.  They are evaluated on how many kids they recruit that actually make it to BC!  When your future is dependent on How and what someone else does, you will work hard to make sure that you keep them motivated to finish but once they have you will move on to the next one (Or 10!) to keep them going.  They don't always have the time to respond to you.

Ask ALL Your questions.  Give voice to your fears.  Shout your triumphs!  We understand better than almost anyone what you are feeling!  We've been there. Done that... Got the Grey hairs and wrinkles to prove it!! And we are delighted to offer Aid and comfort to those who are just starting on this journey.

Welcome Laura! You will love the support you get on this site. We are all in this together;) My SR’s PIR is 9/30.