Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones)

Oh, Patti-- Praying that he's able to call you with good news!! I hope it's just that he can just push past the pain enough to graduate!! (Without causing further harm to himself of course!!) After this The PT testing is so much easier because they can swim instead run!

I believe my sailor mentioned if you are at GL then you have to run PT. Other bases allow rowing or biking.. 

Trey -- I hadn't heard Rowing but most allow for the Swim to replace the run but yes, at GL... Run only!

I will double check I may have misheard row for swim

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Hello Everyone - I'm new here.

My son (diagnosed with high functioning autism) is considering enlisting.
We did have some discussions with the recruiting officer and mentioned the autism.
They asked if he's on any medication, and he is not. So far they seem ok to consider him.
He has completed a year of Army Cadet (British Army).

We are planning to visit the LA recruitment office in a few months time.

Having read a few posts on bootcamp I'm a bit concerned about the bootcamp. Would it be too intense? or become counterproductive to his aspirations?

NavyM&D, I have no idea how the Navy deals with pre-existing conditions. My son had severe acne and they denied his entrance into the Navy for several years. I do know that some recruits (when they found out they were treated for autism when younger) were put on hold or had to get a waiver.  The training is intense, they are trying to determine how they will handle situations under stress.  His doctor would be the most knowledgeable expert with this question. I do know that stressful situations is one of the triggers to our school students with autism. Perhaps there is some information in our files. Good luck to your son and his desire to serve our nation!

NavyM&D -- That is a very individual question.  For some young people the stress and intensity is too much and there is no opportunity to "Step back and take a break", Others thrive under the highly regimented lifestyle and strict adherence to routine and discipline.  You know your child best and therefore are the best equipped to answer your own question.  I am not familiar with "Army Cadet (British Army)" and what all they require.  As for it "become counterproductive to his aspirations", I guess that would depend on what he aspires to.  If he wants to be a Pilot, Medic or go into the Nuke ratings, that may be tough to do, given his history, but if he wants to be a mechanic, or a Seabee or any number of other career options he may very well be fine.  Has he taken the ASVAB?  That is step one.  From there you can see what jobs are possible for his scores and then you can better determine if this is a course you want to investigate further.  The Recruiters should be able to tell him if having autism is an exclusionary condition or not.
You may find this article helpful as you move forward.  There are tons of other Navy sites so I'd do as much reading as you can to learn what the Navy policies are.
https://www.operationmilitarykids.org/can-you-join-the-military-wit...

Hi NavyM&D.. glad to see you here.. I replied to you on Reddit. Hope you can find more info here. 

Navy M&D - Welcome to this site and to our group. We are glad you have found us. I hope you can get some of the answers that you are looking for. I am not sure on other jobs, but I am familiar with the Nuke program, and it is very unlikely that your son would be picked up for that rate. 

This discussion might have some helpful information as you learn to navigate this site - Private Messages - Creating & Sending + OPSEC

Happy Thursday!

Navy M&D - I sent you a PM.  belovedbyHim gave you some pretty good info too.  Best thing is you/your son must do a lot of research and don't rely 100% on what the recruiter tells you either.

NavyM&D - we are here to help in any way we can.  And it looks like you are doing your research - nice to see that and the support for your son!  I will be curious to see how this turns out.  Keep us updated - and feel free to continue asking questions as your research deepens.

Hello all.  I just received the first letter from my child.  It has been 2 weeks and 2 days and the comments in the letter almost suggest an atmosphere of being treated like dirt.  I understand discipline and following directions etc., but you don't kick a dog for instance, if they don't sit and shake.  I totally get the importance of stress and the greatest military in the world.  However, we are human beings and being treated like .... I don't know... this kid is very tough and often exhibits a bold attitude and demands (the other person) show respect.  "respect" has been something he lives by.  There will be respect coming from my kid, but to hear the disrespect and just rude way of handling recruits is sad.  The biggest fear is to be held back.  Is that when they withhold food and bring out the belt?  Im kidding, I think....  I am just having attitude because I am not there, lol, to tell the 'teacher' to be nice to my kid.  thanks for listening and, I hope they don't put hands on these children, but hands/words/side-eye/profanity --- seriously unprofessional.  ok, i said it

monwojo, my son didn't say anything about being mistreated while he was doing BC, of course that's my son. I would yell at him and he would never even open his mouth, just stood there and took it. His Dad and Grandpa were military and I am sure they talked to him about what to expect. When I asked him about it all he told me is " he liked the challenge". 

I am actually glad I don't know about that part of it because I know for certain my Mama Bear mentality would of come out. They certainly break them down and then build them back up. When I got to see mine after BC I was very impressed with not only my son but all of his friends. Military is a rough life, it is a sacrifice by being made by these young men and women. I have learnt through these 3 years of being a Navy Mom my opinion doesn't hold one iola of weight and neither does my Sailors.  Either you embrace it or despise it. I am happy to say my son loves what he is doing and that makes the whole ordeal worth it. Good Luck to your Recruit.

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"I will cry without shedding tears, cringe without showing my fears, pray without moving my lips, dream always of incoming ships....for I am the mother of a U.S. Sailor." - Author Unknown

NavyM&D -- My son is a SeaBee -- BU (Builder).  In his nearly 10 years in... MOST of what he has done has been to pour concrete!! (Sadly the deployment they were going to actually build buildings was messed up by COVID)  Now I am not knocking it at all.  This is a HUGE skill that is in HIGH demand by the Civilian world and while he has re-enlisted for another 6 years if he decided to get out at that time he would be HIGHLY sought after by many construction companies.  
This kid also tested at a Mensa level IQ (His counselor at school would not tell us how high but let that slip when he didn't know we were there.) However, he struggled with school, he was super smart but also super lazy.  The Navy SeaBee Program has been a good fit for him since we all knew College would have been a struggle.  He also got to take a Firefighting course in High School that he LOVED and that was his fall back plan!  He may still pursue it!  I encourage you and your son to think both long and short term.  What would he want to be able to do if he did his 4-6 years and got out? Would he like the job enough to stay at it for 10-20 years?  What is his plan B if something happens at Bootcamp and it's clear that the Navy isn't a good fit?  Would he feel like a failure or accept that even trying is more than 99% of the population is even willing to try?  I have these kids of conversations with my kids all the time.  It's good to have a plan but it's also ok to discover that your plan has changed or that you don't like it!
My husband was Navy (Officer) His degree is Aerospace Engineering.  He wanted to be a pilot. He was in a bike accident his Junior year in College and that was also the year before Top Gun came out.  As a result, in his Senior year he was selected out of the Pilot track but it was too late to change majors.  He went Surface on Amphibious vessels.  When he left the Navy he went into Manufacturing at Sony in Management.  While there he had to work a lot with the programmers and he began to pick up some computer programing skills.  He Self-taught himself enough coding that he was able to switch into an open position with their computer team and they paid for him to take classes and get certified.  He then decided to write a "little program" for an event our kids were involved in.  That has been our business for 22 years.  It has been his full time job since 2006 and mine since 2012.  Some days I can't believe how we got here.  Our oldest has similarly done tons of different things! She has worked in Hollywood on Films, Commercials and TV shows, She has worked at a Major Ski resort and a National Park.  She has worked at a hotel starting in reservations and working her way into accounting and management and even working at a resort in the Caribbean.  She has worked retail, in doggy day care, delivered pizza and even become a key holder for a business. She has loved all her jobs and even more loved the skills that have come with them.  Now she knows that she can go to almost any place and she has skills that they need.  She tried college and hated it!  Mostly she hated wasting her money on classes that didn't get her anywhere. (She was just going to take a year off to decide what she wanted to pursue... That was 12 years ago....)  
I share all this to say... Don't let him get too caught up in the "This is what I'll do for the rest of my life" mindset.  It's great to Try, No matter the eventual outcome!! 

Today's live PIR:

Live PIR March 31, 2023

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Good Morning Everyone!!

Did anyone receive letters or phone calls over the weekend?

monwojo - good morning! I apologize for not replying sooner, I was not ignoring you, I just had a lot of family things going on. My son did not have much time to write (at least that was what his letters always said), so I did not hear much other than - "it is hard", and once about them talking too much. After he was able to be home for one holiday standdown, I did ask him a bit about BC, and he said they were always asking him if he was homesick and he said No. He was just always afraid of making a mistake, but his biggest issue was the yelling and the cussing at the SRs. At some point, I think they were allowed an opportunity to "share" what bothered them, but that did not mean it was going to change. 

It is very easy for our mama bear "fur" to get ruffled when we hear stories from our SRs & sailors. When my kids were in school, I was that mama bear protecting my cubs, but because of some other experiences with military life, I had to let some of that go with my son, and I was actually glad, like Northwoodsmom said, that I was not as clued into some of the things as maybe your son has shared. Military mindset and training is very different and our perception of it is also different when we are viewing it through the lenses of our child. I have learned that my focus for myself has to be -- sending lots of love, prayers and encouragement to my sailor, as well as to be the one with the strong backbone to be his sounding board, when things are good, bad, or ugly, because I may be the only one he feels like he can talk to about it, at that moment. I can't fix it. I am miles away from him. But I can listen, I can pray, and I can be that "smile" or word of encouragement that even in the midst of his struggles, I am proud of him, I appreciate his time and sacrifice, and willingness to protect me, his family, and this country. 

A little fyi - the SRs are given IT (intense training) - things like extra pushups, running a lap, some sort of physical exertion when they have done something wrong. Or if they miss something on folding their clothes or their uniform, I think they refer to it as a "hit". I know there was some recruit jargon that confused me, and I had to ask my son about it, because it sounded worse than it actually was. If your son shared anything like that, you might ask him in a letter if he can explain more to you the next time, or when he gets a chance to call. 

I have been on this board for 5+ years now, and one thing that many of our moms have shared, is how their SR struggled, not because of the RDCs but because of other SRs that just would not come inline, would not be polite or were disrespectful. I don't know if that is why the RDCs come across as so harsh or not. You have raised a wonderful young man it sounds like, who has learned the value of respect. As he shows that to his RDCs, even with the way they are treating him, hopefully, his example will help others to respond in kind. And as they come together as a team, maybe some of the RDC harshness will let up a little. Maybe. 

I am glad you shared. This is what our group is for. 

awee.... thank you so much for your responses and sharing.  He did call on Saturday! and... I did not have my 'list' of things to ask, so it was just a comfortable and normal chat. His biggest concern is the possibility of being held back for medical or for not passing the PFA.  He says he just doesn't want to have to stay longer.  I'm thinking he will get stronger/endurance and pass.  Also, with better food and less sitting (video games) things should start turning around -- he was never an athlete in highschool but had a job recently where he did quite a bit of walking. 

** New Question!  FTS/TAR --- I understand the accounting of it and the terminology, ben efits, 8 year olblogation, location(s)  retirement etc etc. What I am very confused about is the aircrewman link to his FTS. From what I was told, he will be "deployed" if needed in a crisis /war situation . The main reason, I think, that he was give  FTS is that he did not qualify for aircrewma --- but will be in A school with the activy duty booteers.  if so, they swim 1 mile, run 10 miles and are trained in specific duties, not admin support of trservists.  A GPA of higher than 3.x? is required for an aircrewman to be accepted in program.  my kid's grades were not that high.. My question is, regarding A school. Does he study as if going to be an aircrewman ?  what if he doesn't pass?

monwojo - I am glad that you had a phone call from your son. Yes, not passing the PFA is a big concern. My son was in DEP and his recuiters required they attend at least 2 meetings a month and they worked on their run. I don't know that all of the recruiting or DEP programs are as insistent and sometimes the SRs come in with less physical preparations, so hopefully your son will be able to do well. 

As far as the FTS/TAR - I have no idea. I would have to Google it, but I will ask in one of the other groups that I am a part of on this site, if anyone else can help you. My son is a Nuke and so I know very little about the operations on the flight deck. 

Chipmunk put out a call for flight deck moms to come help…. My sailor works on the flight deck but is an ABE3 and works on catapults and launching jets-also has extensive training in arresting gears for stopping the jets.  But I know nothing about aircrew…. That’s a whole different thing for what my son does. So I’m not sure how aircrew works…. 

thank you!!

monwojo -- As to the yelling... As my sailor put it, "It's a mind game! They want to get in your head to see if you'll break!  You are Never going to be good enough or do good enough even if you are giving 110%, until it's all over!  They don't want to have a future shipmate that they can't feel comfortable putting their life in that sailors hands, no matter how long they have been in!" One of his buddies was at RTC and he said the conversations in Training meetings was, "If you were on a ship with this newly minted sailor and things went badly wrong, could you put your trust in them to follow orders and do what they were trained/told? If not, then keep after them till you reach that point!"   I know it's hard as a mom to hear that they are getting yelled at but it's all for a reason.  They DO NOT Physically touch them! A "hit" or a "beating" are slang terms used to indicate that they messed up and had to do extra PT as a result.  My Sailor said his Div was called the "Air Chair Circus" because they did Air Chairs so often and once when his RDC was annoyed with them he said they belonged in a circus and a mouthy recruit said back "But we are Your monkeys!" (Sailor SWEARS it wasn't him!!) There are very clear hard and fast rules they all have to follow and they are designed to keep everyone safe, So while the yelling and PT continues it is part of a very necessary process to break them down from thinking as an individual to thinking as a Unit.  Everything they do from here on till the end of their service is based on the needs of the Navy first and foremost! That process is hard to understand but I they will get through it or they will decide that the Military isn't the right fit.  There is no shame either way.

As for Aviation... I don't have a clue.  My sailor is a Sea bee! (Aka a Dirt Sailor!)

Good Morning Everyone!!

Sorry I have been a little absent and B'sNukeMom should be enjoying some family time!!

Here is a link to everything regarding graduation / PIR - U.S. Navy Recruit Training Command > Graduation

It looks like tomorrow's PIR is going to allow 4 guests. "Our graduation ceremony will be live streamed Friday at 0900 Central. Use either our Facebook or YouTube link to view."

For those with upcoming PIR - be sure to sign up for 

Sarge's Meet N Greet - those are hosted on Thursday night before PIR. 

monwojo - I suggest you call the recruiting office and see if they can give you any information, or look information up online. I tried doing some Google searching. Is your son going reserves? That seemed to be what I was finding but I am not sure. 

When you are missing your seaman recruit and the silence is more than you can bear, remember that you are in training as well and you are part of the Navy family. We are here to support you all the way through!!

Congratulations to our newest sailors!! 

Our graduation ceremony will be live streamed Friday at 0900 Central. Use either our Facebook or YouTube link to view.

I encourage you to watch at least one PIR prior to your sailor's graduation, so that you have an idea of what to expect. You should be able to view the replays at a later time and then you can skip portions of it as you like. 

Happy Easter!! I know I am a day early, but I likely will not be on tomorrow.

Good Morning Everyone!!

Did we get phone calls? Any letters?

How did your first big holiday go without your loved one?? 

As my kids have scattered, I miss the days of our times with family and friends, but I am thankful they are making their own memories as well. I am blessed to still have a few kids nearby and that helps.

Happy Monday to all! We missed our recruit at Easter dinner yesterday but had a nice family time in spite of that. We got a nice letter on Friday and he sounds like he's doing really well. He was assigned to honor guard, so I'm very hopeful that in another couple of weeks (April 21), I'll be able to spot him on the PIR video!  It will be a nice treat while we wait for his own graduation!

Diahn - I am so glad that you had a nice family time, even without your SR. My son was at BC during 4th of July, which is actually one of our personal family events (most of the other holidays we were always visiting other relatives.) It was really hard for me to have him gone. Now, I have gotten used to video calls when possible. 

Congratulations to your SR!. That will be so exciting to have a chance to maybe see him prior to PIR and then at PIR. 

Happy Tuesday!  Yes, I'm back from vacation and trying to get caught up - both here and at work. I sure do love vacation but boy it can sure be a challenge when you get back lol!

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Diahm - Congrats on your letter!  And that is so exciting about Honor Guard!  I hope you can spot your Sailor at PIR.

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Please join me in welcoming MamaJess to our group!! 

Welcome BootCamp Moms -- This page is here for YOU!! This is where you can ask your questions, vent your frustrations, express your fears and concerns.  We are here to support you and guide you to the answers or be a shoulder to cry on should you need.  We can share what we experienced so you can find peace of mind that you are NOT alone and you are NOT going crazy.  This page is driven by you and your posts.

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REMINDER FROM THE US NAVY RECRUIT TRAINING COMMAND FACEBOOK PAGE:

Everyone who is planning on attending a graduation ceremony MUST personally obtain a ticket, which will be distributed at the Recruit Family Welcome Center the week of your recruit's graduation. Tickets are free of charge, but you must have valid photo ID to obtain your ticket (driver's license, state ID, military ID, passport, or, for minors, a student ID, driver's permit, SSN card, birth certificate,).

WELCOME CENTER ADDRESS/GPS: Navy Exchange (NEX) Burkey Mall, 2650 Green Bay Road North Chicago, IL 60088 (Do NOT use generic terms such as NEX, Recruit Training Command or Naval Station Great Lakes).