NUKE moms

A place to come for support and guidance for anyone with a loved one in the nuke program ⚓️.

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  • B'sNukeMoM⚓️MMN(Vet)

    Hi all - Happy Thursday!

  • B'sNukeMoM⚓️MMN(Vet)

    Was watching TV last night and a commercial for Allstate came on - it was about the devastation from the hurricanes and they showed the Angel Oak Tree in SC - talking about how it survived.  

    http://www.angeloaktree.com/

  • B'sNukeMoM⚓️MMN(Vet)

    Here's a picture of the Angel Oak in case you haven't seen it.

  • B'sNukeMoM⚓️MMN(Vet)

    Since we have quite a few new members I want to remind you that you can join your local Blue Star Mothers group.

    Here's the link - you can look for a group in your area.

    https://www.bluestarmothers.org/

    Here's the Wikipedia link:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Star_Mothers_of_America

  • B'sNukeMoM⚓️MMN(Vet)

    Don't forget to wear your RED tomorrow!

  • ProudOfK

    WonderGeekWoman - I sent you a pm via facebook messenger.  I seem to recall you've been very busy right now - just wanted you to know to look for it.

    Hope all is well with the rest of you.  I'll say again - I follow the comments several time a day on my phone but don't have a way to chime in unless I'm on the computer in the evening.  While I'm following along there are some many times I feel like chiming in and then when I get on the computer I've forgotten what they all were.  But I appreciate all the chatter - from both the seasoned moms and from the new moms on here - sometimes the comments from the new moms is like a walk down memory lane.

    And B'sNukeMom did I ever thank you for the birthday wishes for my son - thank you much.  And some of the pictures you post really do make me crack up - some of them I just have to show to my husband.

  • ProudOfK

    And Momterp I've been thinking about you when I've been seeing all the questions about the Power School grad date.  Hope things work out that you're able to still get to the graduation and get a good amount of time with J.

  • Amarrah

    I talked to my son tonight asking if he knew if his graduation was the same because of the hurricane. He told me his* graduation date had changed. He got rolled back (I think that's what he called it) since he failed two of his classes. I feel awful for him because I know he's been busting his tail for this. He was horrible about homework and all in high school, but he knows what's on the line here and has been giving it his all. He said this is the first time they give you a second chance if you fail. I asked him if he was ok, and of course he said he was fine, but I could hear the disappointment in his voice. I know this is a difficult program and it takes a lot of work, and he does too, I just don't know how to support and help him from so far away. Or for that matter if I could do anything if I were closer. I know I'm rambling a bit, but I don't know anybody that can help me help him. The biggest thing I'm afraid of is that he'll feel defeated and like a  and give up altogether. 

  • The Hammer

    Spoke with my son last night. He told me about the Navy ball... and offered to take me if we could stay in GC an extra day. Wish I could go but fear that United would rev up my charge card again... cha ching!!!

  • Chipmunk

    Amarrah - this is a tough program, no doubt about that. There is so much information and memorization that is being thrown at these sailors all at once and they have to learn how to study. And what study techniques work for them as well. But I would encourage you to have your son take advantage of all of the instructor after hours help, etc, that he can get. And see about study groups within his class. 

    The other thing, tell him to keep up with his sit-ups and pushups every day. They don't do that in PT as I understand, but they are part of the PFA qualifications. And if you can pass with certain standards, at least in Prototype and some of A school ? maybe (I am already 6 months out from the end of that) they can go on what is called voluntary PT, so they can run and such on Sat morning or at their convenience and have more time for studying and sleeping as my son would say.

    The hurricane probably didn't help with the newer classes who are just getting into routines with their subjects, studying and tests and some study halls were cancelled which is hard.

    The Hammer - Navy Ball - I hadn't even heard it was going on. Too bad! 

  • NancyJo (NNPTC)

    All good advice, Chipmunk. I would add that doing a little PT helps keep the mind alert too. Many of these nukes are gamers and the like and physical fitness has not been part of their daily routine. But getting that little bit of exercise every day gets the ol' endorphins flowing and they end of doing better.

    At the end of the day, Amarrah, the best we can do is cheer our sailors on and understand that they're going to have good days and bad days. It's tough but to even get this far your sailor has to be on the ball. Listen and encourage and remember if it does come to his wanting to quit, or leaving the program, it's not the end of the world. He will find his way. Hang in there, Sea Sister!

  • SailorsLIMom

    Amarrah, our daughter failed the comps at the end of PS (fortunately got to re-test and passed).  She was greatly helped by some services the Navy offered: the chaplain (who's like a counselor, not a religious person), who helped with the "inner game" of this effort, and Medical, which helped her sort out sleep issues so she could make the most of study time. Seriously, this sleep stuff really matters, to help them retain the heaps of material they must learn.  She also joined an off-base gym so she could get a change of scene while keeping fit.  And she used instructor time to the max, because she found it so helpful.  Fingers crossed for your son. It's so hard to see them suffer this way!

  • Chipmunk

    NancyJo's comment made me realize I needed to clarify something. During A school my son was doing PT 2x / wk and running 5K 1x/wk. The comment on sit-ups and push-ups came from him when I was putting comments on the A school discussion. He realized that he was running, but still needed to continue doing push-ups and sit-ups to stay in shape and be ready for the PFA - dash for cash which they have to pass in order to rank up, I believe. 

    I hope that clarifies a little better. Yes, he was still running. 

    SailorsLlMom - your daughter's story is an encouragement for all to seek the help that they have available and persevere. 

    My son had his E5 test yesterday morning. He knows the passing rate is not high, but he texted me and still said he hoped he passed even though he hadn't learned half of the stuff. All we can do is encourage and hope that our positive attitude will help them stay positive, but also that they will understand they can be real and vulnerable with us, when they may not be able to do that around others they are with, so just having the listening ear and not try to "fix" things unless they ask for advice, is one of the hardest things this mom has had to learn. My sailor is child #4 and I still don't always get it right, so we just plug on as well as moms, loving our children the best we know how.

  • SailorsLIMom

    Chipmunk, you're so, so right about what we can offer in terms of support!  Thank you!  And with #4 launched, you definitely deserve congratulations.  It's so hard to know when to "hold" advice, and when to "fold" it.  Sometimes I tell myself, hey, 200 years ago people our kids' age were running farms and raising families.  Our darlings can handle this!  Then I think, hey, wait, life wasn't so great back then, you only lived until the age of 40 and you didn't even have running water!  ;)) Nothing's perfect. We can only try!

  • Amarrah

    Thanks so much! And I love it- Sea Sister! This is what's killing me:  I know he's taking advantage of the study time, and some of the instructor help. He goes to bed early and has told me how he needs to sleep (this coming from the kid that would stay up all night and say he was fine). And if you saw him, you'd know he didn't miss a day in the gym.

    I appreciate all the encouragement and advice. He's never been much on religion, but I'll let him know about the chaplain, and I'll see if he's been in any study groups. I was trying so hard not to "mom" and listen, but he's not near as chatty as I am.  I honestly get more info here than I do from him sometimes. 

    SailorsLIMom-  what is comps? I'm still learning some of the short hand.

  • SailorsLIMom

    "Comps" are the comprehensive exams they take at the end of A school and Power School (maybe Prototype, too, I don't know that).  It's the test on everything they're learned in that phase of training.  Even if they did well up to then, failing that test gives a chance for a "Re-Comp" several days later IF they have passed all of their classes.  The grading system is complex, but because your son had failed some classes, he got rolled back.  Yes, it's a recently instituted opportunity.  Big blow to the ego, of course.  BTW, the chaplain is nondenominational: we have no religious affiliation and Daughter needed a listening, nonjudgmental ear. It's a "free space" where they can show some "weakness" (as they might interpret it) to someone who's familiar with the pressures they face, and their incredible naivete in handling them..

  • B'sNukeMoM⚓️MMN(Vet)

    Hi all - Happy Friday!

    Amarrah - by rolling him back he's getting another chance to succeed.  Obviously they seem something in him to keep him around.  It is a hard program and there are so many components to it.  It's finding that right combination to make everything work.  He can do it - keep encouraging him and remind him of how far he has come.  But with that said, no matter what happens, at the end of the day, it isn't the end of the world.

    Sending out good vibes to everyone who took the advancement test yesterday!

  • B'sNukeMoM⚓️MMN(Vet)

    I've got my RED on - how about you?

  • Amarrah

    Oh, one more thing: any idea what kind of repercussions there may be? Like losing rank, pay cut? Essentially literally taking him back to when he finished A school. 

  • momterp

    Thanks ProudofK—as of now we are still waiting to hear definitively about graduation and leave—keeping our fingers crossed!

  • momterp

    Happy Friday, everyone! I’m rockin’ my red today!

  • Havasu

    Hello and Happy Friday everyone! I've got my RED on today!! 

  • hds27

    @momterp I am waiting to hear about PowerSchool graduation and the Ombudsman messaged me this morning saying still not definitive we will not know until next week. It has tentatively been moved to the 26th, but nothing actually decided.
  • Tracie

    @Amarrah my son also just got rolled back. Talked to him yesterday and the difference in that conversation and the we one had a week or so was remarkable. 

    He is a perfectionist and high achiever putting enormous pressure on himself, the fact that he was struggling and putting in enormous effort but still coming up short was taking a toll on him. He utilized instructors, was on max hrs, talked to chaplain, SLPO everything. But he’s a physical person so the long hrs in classroom made it hard for him to focus and absorb, he’s also not been in classroom setting in long time as he’s older. He was worried he’d be dropped or have his crows stripped if he failed.

    He found out he failed the board day they evac and the new policy was to roll them back. He’s bummed he’ll be in holding until next PS classes up but he will able to study and learn material in a way that suits his mode of learning and without the 16 hr days. His state of mind is so much better and it truly was a blessing not just for him but also for me, I was really worried the stress was getting to him.

    He kept his crows, nothing has changed he just gets to retry and extra time he needed to learn and prepare to succeed in the program with a new class.

    I popped on just to let ya know it’s a setback but might end up being what helps your son succeed! 

  • B'sNukeMoM⚓️MMN(Vet)

    Thank you for sharing that Tracie.  It's good to hear that your son is feeling some relief from the situation too.  Sometimes a chance to step back and re-group is what is needed.  He's got this!

  • SubMom

    I have proudly worn my shirt not only for those deployed but also the ones that are struggling. I want everyone to return safe and I want to see “22” eliminated as a statistic. God bless all those that are protecting us.

  • WonderGeekWoman

    Amarrah - My son seemed to be struggling from stress in the beginning of Power School, but then he got sick and was rolled back for missing too many days. It turned out to be the best thing for him. He was able to jump back into the next class, review some things, retake a test that he hadn't done well on before, and the rest of PS seemed to go better for him. I hope it works out the same for your son!

  • The Hammer

    Amarrah - this happened to my son in A school. He got sick and rolled back and is now just a few weeks from graduation with a high 3 average.

    Oh... and GREAT NEWS to share... got an email from United this morning and they have refunded one of the $200 change fees! I'm just waiting on the second appeal... fingers crossed!

  • Chipmunk

    The Hammer - great news!!! Yea!!

    Re: PS graduation - my son said the other day it is unofficially moved to the 26th, they are waiting on official approval. I realized I need to make new motel reservations. I hadn't made any flights yet, due to hurricane coming, so waiting longer now. Personally, I hope that it is moved back, I really need the extra week just for myself.

    Thoughts for me this week as we do final preps for the estate sale the end of the week. Hopefully, the rain holds off today, so we can get the rest of my married kids moved out of the house, especially their mattress. We finally got the water turned on at their place the other day. (that was a hassle with the landlord's responsibility.) But they found a cute place and will actually be closer to us. It is going to be as hard to say good-by to my aunt and uncle's house as it was to my parent's. This is a really nice neighborhood in the older section of our city. Last night, I uncovered a 3-D paper model of the house that my uncle had done!! The things we find.

  • Amarrah

    Tracie- Thanks for sharing, I'm sorry to hear about your son, but glad to know it's not as rare as I thought. I found out yesterday he starts back next month. I thought that was a bit soon, but at least this way he doesn't have the chance to forget much of it. Maybe they'll be in the same section :)

  • B'sNukeMoM⚓️MMN(Vet)

  • SubMom

    The Hammer - that is wonderful news! 

    Chipmunk - hoping everything continues to go smooth. The 3-D model sounds really cool!

  • Jana

    How many girls actually go to Nuke School? I am having a hard time finding anyone who might be going with my Daughter. 

  • JayDee659

    Jana, your daughter will be outnumbered by males. I never found a mom of any female in my daughter's classes. I'm happy to help you in any way I can  

  • Chipmunk

    Jana, if you want a % I think it is about 10% from what my son told me, because his ET A school class was slightly unusual since they had 3 females in it.  - You might also try checking in the Moms of Daughters group - but JayDee659 is great, your best support,  and  I believe the most active Nukette Mom on here.

    SubMom - Thanks!! Yes, the 3-D was neat, especially since it looked like it was showing where the Greenhouse had been and I have been trying to picture how that was laid out, remembering it from a childhood visit. They had dismantled it and gotten rid of all of their orchids by the time we moved to the same town in the mid '90s. 

  • FLmom

    Jana- there are 5 girls in my son’s class, two of which are married in the military.( Which means they have the option of not living in the barracks.) She will have other women in different classes come through A school at the same-ish time. I am unclear as to whether there are ANY instructors that are female. I don’t know the specific percentages, but hope this info helps
  • momterp

    Just to add my two cents, my son, who is a MMN in Power School, has one female instructor.

  • JayDee659

    Jana my daughter was one of 3 in her class. She married on of the males who she met in boot camp. 

  • Jana

    Just getting in to Nuke School is huge! 

  • Jana

    That's great! 

  • Jana

    She just graduated High School! 

  • Jana

    Hopefully She just focuses on her studies! This Nuke program is no joke. The AP classes She took should propel her forward.

  • CSW

    Interested in hearing from any mom who has an ELT in a submarine. Any surprises or challenges that were a surprise for you and your Nuke?

    Thanks :)

  • momc

    CSW, my son is an ET currently on deployment on a sub.  He has never regretted his decision to volunteer on a sub.  He is on a fast attack sub, so the crew does become very close knit. The only thing he ever complained about is the food, especially once the fresh food is gone.  

    He has enjoyed his experience so far, but is looking forward to the end of deployment.  6 months is a long time, but the Navy does a great job preparing the Sailors.  Best wishes to your son

  • Jana

    My Daughter is thinking of going on a Sub. 

  • Phyllis

    My son is on a sub and he loves it he says it is like a close family.
  • SailorsLIMom

    Oooh our daughter wants to go on a sub, too! Is it true that you don’t hear anything from them for months and months? We are supporting her, but deep down, know that we’ll miss her so much, even though we know it’ll be safe and that she will love it. She just started Prototype.
  • SailorsLIMom

    Jana, FYI our daughter is one of just 3 women in her Prototype group right now. Not sure how many men, but a huge minority.

  • Anmarie

    My son just started prototype too!  He is in Goose Creek.  He will be eventually be on an aircraft carrier.  Do any of you moms know what life is like on a carrier for an ET?  He didn't volunteer for submarine.  He said he needs the sun.  I heard there are longer deployments on the carrier.  

  • Jana

    My Daughter wanted Subs in the beginning. Now, She isn't quite sure.