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My son's recruiter isn't as organized as I'd like (as though my opinion matters!! haha). My son is 22 and basically doing this on his own. However, being an Army veteran I'm just surprised they aren't more structured! My son does have to check in each Monday but their "mandatory DEP" meetings are more last minute. My son has a full time summer job and I don't like the short notice he keeps giving his boss. They also call him the evening before and say PT tomorrow at 1400 hours. Again, short notice and PT in the heat of the day? It seems crazy to me. I am very proud of the choices he's making and he's done alot of the memorization on his own!

I actually did have a question! When my son went to MEPS to take his ASVAB he initially wanted to do air and rescue. Unfortunately his eyesight disqualified him. They asked him if he wanted IT or to be on a sub and he said no. They said how about a machinist mate and he said ok. I was disappointed that he didn't have more options as to jobs he wanted. He did very well on the ASVAB so they wanted him to take the advanced test for Nuke. He only got a 45 and needed a 53. We were surprised he did so well because he didn't have any advanced math or physics exposure in school. Did other's have the same experience with the lack of choices available? 

OMGosh! Glad they didn't succeed! My son didn't really know what he wanted to do. He left his music program in college and has lots of debt to show for it. He's kind of been floundering. I was surprised when he brought up the Navy. I thought it was a great idea! He'll at least go in at E3 with his college credits! I know when I was in the service (when dinosaurs roamed!) I had more options!

 Sierrascrapper  My son i stall and thin  He joined a gym and had a friend help him out with a program He went in with some muscle he never had. Boy did he eat alot too.  "Good food" I was  worried about the running cause thats not him but did OK. Does he swim? They do a swimming test. Also he reported to the recruiter. they do keep tabs on them.  Much success to your son. You are in the right place. The Journey Begins.

My son also has to call Monday mornings, and but he will only go to 1 or 2 DEPS before leaving.  They have tried to talk him into going into the Nuke after he scored high on the ASVAB, but he does not want to make a 6 year commitment at this time.  

Thank you for the link Sierrascrapper! I got my son a gym membership also. He's not doing as much as he should though. He's pretty slim also. He swam most of his life but refused to swim in high school (I think he was burnt out). He did run cross country in high school though. Of course that was 4 years ago :) Having this will help me to encourage him to do more!!

21 days now and counting... The wanting to cry has begun : ( 

Hang in there Dorothea...keep thinking about how AMAZING your child is going to be when they finish BC.  I can relate to how you feel though, I have moments like that every day and we still have a lot of time left together.

Armymomnavyson- that's EXACTLY why I printed it up.  I wanted to give my son a goal to reach and I liked how it had an exact plan for helping prepare him for running more and help him prepare for the number of push-ups and curl-ups he needs to be ready to do.  I kinda pester him about going to the gym, but only because we pay for it!  LOL  He's pretty good about going at least twice a week, but he really needs to go 3 times.  I'm sure it's the beginning of an active life in the Navy for him and soon it will become 2nd nature.  

I am trying Sierrascrapper. It's just that in the past week, week and 1/2 he started pulling away from me... I am not a happy Momma right. I am afraid to yell and scream and I want to. He thinks he is preparing me....Nope not working : ( 

Uggghhh...that would kill me too.  I don't have any good advice to give, but I sure wish I did.  I will pray for you and hope that he will see that you just want to treasure the time you have left with him.  It hurts for sure and I definitely understand how you feel like screaming.  Just know that won't make the situation any better.  Boy do I have to live by that advice!  LOL   I'm dreading the idea of letting go...but in the end I know that this is the best choice he could ever make.  I always wanted my son to live a better life than me and this choice is one that I know will benefit him.

Yep, I walk around with Band-Aids in my pockets. It did not help matters when his Recruiter told me last week to "Cut the Momma/Son Strings" and NOT go to the airport to see him off. Now my son thinks it is ok to say "Cut the Strings Momma" , good grief he has not even been 18 for 2 months yet. I think the day, no the hour they turn 18 they know it all. I am gonna miss him : ( 

Man I would've shot DAGGERS out of my eyes for that one!  My son turns 18 in 3 months and we will have to deal with this his whole Senior year of HS.  I'm dreading it...at least with him being in DEP, I can hold it over his head a little for the whole school year.  

Don't you worry...he'll be wanting to be pampered by you badly soon enough.  I have a friend whose son is in the Army and deployed in Afghanistan right now.  He treasures what is affectionately called the "mommy box".  His Mom sends him the BEST care packages and the guys all gather around him when he opens it.   I know your son doesn't get it now...but he will realize how much you love him soon enough.  Hang in there.

My son has about 24 days left and is actively pushing us away by being...well... a jerk. I find myself letting him get away with it because I don't want our final weeks to be focused on yelling and punishing. My younger kids are calling me on it, though. They can't believe what we're letting slide in terms of behavior. I know my son is going to profoundly miss us, his sister and two brothers. We're a close family. When one of us is missing, we feel the vacancy. I think he's already starting to feel the loss. I know I am.

See, this is what it is really about and this is why I feel we ALL need each other. It's great and wonderful to feel ever so PROUD and gosh knows I am. But on the other hand we are all going threw so much. Tikkie I know where you are coming from. I am holding back so much by NOT yelling and taking away his car keys. I just want to scream " WHAT ABOUT ME " he has all the time in the world for friends , BUT WHAT ABOUT ME ? Tears wanting to fall, but nope I won't let them. Justine what has me most upset was my son (wanted) me to go . He said time and time again he did not care what anyone else thought of it. I was his mom and he wanted me there. Not so much now.I wanted to tell his recruiter " you may own him" but "I am still his mom". Out of respect, I said nothing. I say ladies and gents, when we need to vent and talk about the not so good or great things , lets do it. It helps. Thank you all so much. Jerk is correct Tikkie.

My son ships out 5 weeks from today. Tonight he and his girlfriend announced that they are engaged. They plan to have her move to NC to live in an apt near the base while he is in nuke school. He will even pay for it. We are not thrilled. Maybe things will change after he goes through BC. Keeping our mouths shut for now, he's 22 and will make his own decisions. Just don't think this is the time to make a commitment, especially when their relationship is so volatile. Just venting....

I think our kids want to distance themselves from us before hand so it won't be as hard.  For me, it is a little easier as he was away for college the last 2 years, and last summer did not come home because he had a job near school.  I think of all the Moms who have 17/18 year old's going in.  That would have been very hard for me

Cindisue, My daughter got married to her sailor last month , he told my daughter IF she could handle his first deployment he wanted to marry her. She did and they did. The difference here is my daughter and her husband are a little older and had been together for some time. At my daughters wedding my son's girlfriend informed me of what their was going to be like and where. BAND -AIDS anybody? As if that was not bad enough she later came to me and informed me that my son promised to take her to Bora-Bora for the Honeymoon. Forget the Band-Aids, get me a whole roll of moving tape.I did not say a word but boy I did some serious eye rolling. I's not her fault. She is only 17.

Disy, my son reported on Tuesday and once he returned home, he stated everything was still the same. However, I will prepare just in case: ) I am so happy you at least had Candy Crush, I get " Mom I am leaving, see ya later.(2 or 3 am) . And I can't sleep until I know he is home safely.

Cindi, your venting is welcome. Instead of letting everyone think it's all peaches and roses, lets get angry,sad,happy,fearful. At least we are all being honest : ) 

Dist , what is your daughter Rate ?

HM... I double checked today, I am still being told 31st. I believe nothing until I am driving him to meet his Recruiter. But by the looks of it, they very well maybe together...

Sorry I've been away for a bit. Sierrrascrapper- My son will be CTT, but was trying to go CTI.  He works out every day, sometimes with friends, but mostly alone.  He has been running and swimming and lifting weight at the YMCA.  He is really lean, but has been putting on some muscle. It's kind of funny how much he has matured since starting the whole recruitment process. At 22, the strings have been loosened for a while. I'm following his lead on closeness vs. distance, but he has gotten more compliant and responsible.

FLmom -thanks so much for the info and your kind words! I love this group too!  What a great source of support. My oldest daughter was in the army for 6 years and there was not a parent support group that I was aware of !

Ok, since we are all being truthful, I have to say that me and my husband have considered kicking one of our sons out of the house. He does not go by any of our rules. He comes home when he wants, doesn't answer the phone when we call, (the phone we pay for), does nothing to contribute to this family. We have had to sit down and talk to him, and tell him if he wanted to do his own things, he needed to get his own phone and pay for it, change the title to the truck and put it in his name and get his own insurance, he still doesn't always follow the rules, but I can't kick him out, the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. Now we are down to 18 day for our first one to leave and we are just trying to get along the best we can. I have started writing both of my boys letters, because they block me out when I talk but I think they will read what I write them, I have given one boy a letter and he hasn't said a word but I sure he read it and he has been a little better and now that my youngest twin wrecked his truck, I hope that they realize how important their relationship is with their parents and that we are the ones they always count on. 

Cathymg,

Try the silent treatment. Stop cooking dinner for him, stop doing his laundry,don't buy his favorite food. I bet if you put his cell on vacation for a week he will get the idea. If he comes to you or his dad for gas money, ummm don't give it to him. I would simply tell him his gas money for to make his insurance payment and cell payment.

As for the letters, if your son mails your other son a letter hold it for awhile. Let the rest of the family enjoy theirs in front of him. If he has anything to say about, remind him the letters you wrote to him were not important why should the letters his brother be important.

I am far from being hateful, just another parent who knows how your heart is hurting right now.You are right, you can't kick him out, but you sure as heck can wake him up. All of them. And let your husband know how much you love love him and need his support. You have us to vent to and be ever so truthful with, he may have no one , so let him know you are there for him : ) 

CodysMom,

Let me tell you what just happened less then an hour ago. My son and I decided to get all of his paperwork in order as well has his wallet with his ss#, calling cards, money,dl and prepaid visa and NFCU deposit slip. While going over all of the paperwork, my son just learned that after A School he will either be going to Camp Lejeune or S.D... He wsa so happy , he had hoped Camp Lejeune.

You and your son need to sit down and go over everything that is written. Make sure his rate and pay grade are correct. His enlisted time is what he "thought" he had signed up for . Go over it and over it. My son saw 3 capital letters and he has know idea what they stand for. A call has already been placed to his Recruiter, by my son.I told him IF something is wrong it must be fixed before going to MEPS. We already ran across that issue when he received a pay raise.It was changed on one form and not the other. Nope , that had to be corrected.

Plan on going to PIR. You will know ahead of time of the date.I feel the same as you do. They may "own" him, but he is still " MY " son : )

Cathymg, I completely understand what you are going through with your son.  We also have a 22 year old son that, after he graduated from high school and was 18, decided he could do whatever he wanted.  We had always told our boys as long as they were either in school or working and contributing they would always have a place in our home.  He wouldn't hold down a job, would get mad if we asked him to do ANYTHING around the house, would up and leave for days. It was really hard, we decided it was time for him to leave, our other boys deserved to have a stable home just like he did.  We were prepared to kick him out and he and his dad, my husband, had a falling out and he left.  He couched surfed for a couple of months then ended up at my grandmothers house for awhile.  That was 3 years ago.  He has since moved back home and was getting his act together.  He has now moved out, by his choice, and one day he and I were talking about some other drama that was going on in our family and I was very emotional and told him I was sorry for what all has happened and he said he is not mad about it and that it was the best thing we could have done for him.  He said if we had not he would still be sitting around here being a "nothing" and wasting his life. 

I know it is hard, but he is an adult and has to learn to be a productive member of society.  I hope I don't offend you, just wanted to share my experience to hopefully help you and let you know I truly understand where you are coming from on this.

Doubletrouble, I bet that was hard on you as a mother, not knowing for sure where he was at night or what kind of decisions he was making, but you feel like you have to do something to wake them up and so we as parents do the best we can with what we have. It is good knowing I am not the only one. Send me prayers if you would. 

Dorothea, Thanks for the advise, I will see how strong I am, it might be harder for me, because my husbands does usually support me, but he works out of town all week and gets home Friday night and leaves again on Sunday afternoon, so it is just me and my boys most of the time.

My first boy leaves July 31st and we haven't been through any paperwork, they are not worried about a thing, driving me crazy!!

Cathymg, I am here for you. M-F.... Your husband can have ya on the weekends. I can even give you my cell # for when the really really bad days or nights come. I would not mind a bit. Heck, maybe your son needs to talk to mine. They do have the same ship date.

I can't believe my eyes tonight. The "JERK" stayed home with his Momma and even helped me out around the house tonight. AMAZING and YES there is a GOD.

I asked him to sit down and write his 2 sister's a letter and one for his niece and nephew so that when my " Boy in a Box" comes they wont feel left out. And they can know how he feels about right before leaving.He is happy to do it. I think my Band-Aid's worked. Healed a lot of pain I was feeling, Keep that chin up and tell him HE NEEDS TO GO OVER THE PAPERWORK WITH HIS MOMMA ASAP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! x0x0x0x

Cathymg, I will certainly be praying for you.  Our decision turned out to be the best for our situation and family. 

Dorothea, I guess I should ask my boys about their paperwork.  I didn't even think about looking at it.  Thanks for the advice.

Thanks, Dorothea, I might have him read this if that is ok, sometimes knowing that someone else suggested something, then he might do it, as ling as it is not coming from me. Watch out I might take you up on calling you sometime, and it is probably very likely that our boys will be together. I to get to know people before graduation and know what to expect and know what and what not to do.

Thanks for the prayers.

Cathymg, Of course it is ok. Recruiter's are humans too. They can make a mistake like the rest of us. And if it is not caught in time, it can't be fixed . My son is a JR, I had to remind him tonight that on some of his paperwork he left out the JR. He can not do that. He did say " Thank you " and advised him to talk to his Recruiter about it.It's the little things that can cause big problems.Your son may be impressed with the fact that simply missing the JR can cause problems like no other. And a mother caught it : ) 

Your welcome doubletrouble : ) 

Justine, Thank your son for me.. And you may think Feb is along time away. Nope it is not . My son was sworn in Nov 2012. It thought we had all the time on the time in the world .July has come much too quickly.I have learned the past few weeks to take the good with the bad.I know my son will miss me, I am all he has had for many years besides his sisters.I miss him already and this he knows.It is just nice to know that all of us have something going on and we can all be there for each other when needed. A simple prayer, a kind Thank you or a little ray of sunshine.Your son's kind words(thoughts) were a ray of sunshine at 12:51 am.