Am I the Only Excited Mom? Why are There So Many Sad Moms??

[pattieg]

On every site related to our recruits, I see post after post of parents who are so sad about their child being in boot camp.  I'm very close to my son but I'm beginning to feel abnormal.  It is hard not to be able to talk to him any time I want but I am so proud of what he is doing so it's hard to be sad.  I am so happy that he has made good decisions for his future and is creating a valuable life for himself.  Sure, I hang up the phone and cry when I do get those rare phone calls but what he is doing is so much more important than my emotions.  I just hang on to what he is accomplishing.  This journey is about him and his future.  I'm very happy that I am allowed to be a part of that future.  When my dad enlisted, everything was done under a cloak of secrecy.  Things have changed so much and I'm grateful that there are so many forums available to hear news of what's going on during boot camp. I don't feel removed from my child.  I am not worried about what he is doing.  I'm excited!  Even if he were home with me, I wouldn't see him that much because he would be working or out with friends.  He is growing up and turning into a man so I know I have to let him grow.  That's my new job.  I can't hold him back with tears and guilt.  So for all you moms out there who are so sad, be proud.  You raised your child to be a productive adult and now they are doing it.  You raised them to flourish and now they are.  Celebrate your child and your accomplishment.  This is one of the best things they could do for themselves.  Remember, no news is good news.

[pattieg]

I love reading all the comments from other parents! 

[FlowerPowerNavyMom]

That is great to hear, syfyfan14. Nice to hear he is maturing. I know I am VERY lucky, as I didn't experience many of the troubles I hear of from other parents. He will be wonderful!

[Navymom904]

Well said, pattig!  I too, am extremely proud of my son.  You are not alone with that feeling. And are in no way "abnormal" .  That's just silly!!  Will I miss him dearly, Absolutely!  And, he hasn't even left yet. (10/02 is his day of departure to BC.)   I miss my son even while he is still "technically" home. However, like you mentioned, he like your son, is working, or out with his friends, and his girlfriend.  I felt "odd" as well, that I wasn't in tears, or depressed when reading many posts.  Yes, its a difficult time in a parents life, becoming "empty nesters" and seeing your child/ren grow up, making good solid choices and continue on with their lives.   I am grateful of the times we spend together as a family, when we do.  I am looking forward (counting the days) for his graduation (PIR).  I have jumped ahead in time within my mind to the moment when we will see him again, and have the opportunity to spend time (no matter how short or long period) with him. 

 I have yet to wrap my head around the "no news is good news", for when he has begun his Navy career. But all will absorb into my mind - no choice its reality!

Thank you for the positive outlook!  We need more of that.

  

[Lin11385]

I'm not gonna lie, I had a couple of tearful melt-downs in private, but I am over myself now lol. Just had to get it out, file deleted!

The overriding emotion I have is definitely PRIDE: in his choice, commitment, honor, love of country, and willingness to back it all up by his actions. My son and all of these wonderful sons and daughters of the moms on this board, are wonderful, giving, honor-worthy young adults who have my undying respect and gratitude. God bless every one of them!

[Hootsmom]

I too have an overwhelming sense of PRIDE!!! I told my son when he left that I didn't know how my mind and heart could hold two such divergent emotions, my heart was breaking at saying goodbye, but I was so joyously proud and happy that he was off to realize his dream and to serve his country. As parents it has always been our job to prepare our children to leave (they kind of don't tell you that when you are going to birth them). The story of a parent's life is joy and heartbreak, first steps, first school days.....they have been slowing walking away from us since the say they were born. Just turn your heavy heart towards helping other SRs and Sailors, adopt a Sailor (check out the group), write an extra letter to someone in your SR's Ship/Div in case they don't get mail, find other parents. WE all have just increased our family size by millions, you are now part of the NAVY family, AWESOME!!.  Just one more suggestion and I'll stop preaching, but I started my own personal bootcamp. I get up everyday and run (or walk), push ups (yes modified or using a band is ok) sit ups (even a little off the ground is a plus), biking anything that gets you moving. It is during that time that I mentally connect with my SR. I send him positive thoughts, tons of LOVE, and invoke what ever spiritual entity you might believe in to guard, keep him and give him strength (then I ask for a little for myself as well, so I can support him however he needs).  Just a little unsolicited advice. Hang in there

[Hootsmom]

Navymom904...how wonderful that you still have so much time with your SR. I am sure you are making the most of everyday. The hardest days were the last days, it was like a 900 lb elephant in the room that you had to get around so you could focus on the moment. For those Moms who have kids who will be leaving in the future, a suggestion. Our SR, knowing full well that he would be out of communication for quite sometime, bought a journal, just a small one. He wrote thoughts and "letters" everyday to those he cared about, wrote special cards, and made arrangements for birthday presents ect, while he was gone. This way we turn a page everyday, see his handwriting, experience his thoughts and laugh at his wit. He/she can set this up as well on social media, to post new messages while he/she is away, but I love to see his writing. Just a thought for those of you who have time to plan.